Why Did or Do You Want To Get Married?

[SippinTea]

*chokes, gags, runs out of the thread before she drowns in the mush*

[InChristGirl]

I believe that God has a plan and if you are truly seeking His will.......actively seeking His will...(i.e. prayer and fasting) He will show you His will.

[Brother Dad]

I believe that God has a plan and if you are truly seeking His will.......actively seeking His will...(i.e. prayer and fasting) He will show you His will.

Aman too many times we want to hear from God but we are not talking to Him.

[Sister_Mom]

*chokes, gags, runs out of the thread before she drowns in the mush*

mush is goooood!!! (As long as it's not livermush )

You're pretty amazing! Wanna go out with me? 

anytime you are ready I LOVE YOU MY Blue eyed Baby doll

Yippee!!

I think I'm in love! 

[Sister_Mom]

I believe that God has a plan and if you are truly seeking His will.......actively seeking His will...(i.e. prayer and fasting) He will show you His will.

Aman too many times we want to hear from God but we are not talking to Him.

Or listening to and obeying Him.

[Amelia Bedelia]

awww aren't ya'll cute  

I'm for short engagements too... and I'm adamantly opposed to being a long-time girlfriend

I date like crazy though sometimes LOL

I go out constantly, have dinner, spend time together, make friends... but I'm looking to be a wife not a girlfriend, I'm not gonna be in some fake show of commitment and end up turning down dinner with my future husband just 'cause I happen to be in some silly quagmire gf/bf relationship with a little bit of physical to make it dangerously tempting and just enough feelings to make it messy.   I'm a very faithful and loyal person and I'm not going to waste time proving that with the wrong person, its included in the marriage package, not the dating package

I figure if someone starts rising to the top and being the preferred dinner partner then its not a matter of then being bf/gf and being exclusive for months or years on end but thats the time to really take it to God and get a yes or no answer

I find I get my answer within 3 months of hello usually LOL

no matter how well you know a person, you'll never know them like you'll know them after several months of being married... I'd rather go in knowing I don't know rather than having spent too much time forming conclusions and presumptions that once corrected after 6 months together will only make me wonder what else I presumed wrong about them  LOL

My parents married after 3 months.... and my mom has always told me that I should have about 5 guys pursuing me and seriously eligible suitors before I pick one... Mom's totally not for being exclusive before you're engaged/married... know your options and make sure they know you have options too and get serious, if you're ready, do it... if you're not ready, get out of the game :grin:

[Brother Dad]

awww aren't ya'll cute  

I'm for short engagements too... and I'm adamantly opposed to being a long-time girlfriend

I date like crazy though sometimes LOL

I go out constantly, have dinner, spend time together, make friends... but I'm looking to be a wife not a girlfriend, I'm not gonna be in some fake show of commitment and end up turning down dinner with my future husband just 'cause I happen to be in some silly quagmire gf/bf relationship with a little bit of physical to make it dangerously tempting and just enough feelings to make it messy.   I'm a very faithful and loyal person and I'm not going to waste time proving that with the wrong person, its included in the marriage package, not the dating package

I figure if someone starts rising to the top and being the preferred dinner partner then its not a matter of then being bf/gf and being exclusive for months or years on end but thats the time to really take it to God and get a yes or no answer

I find I get my answer within 3 months of hello usually LOL

no matter how well you know a person, you'll never know them like you'll know them after several months of being married... I'd rather go in knowing I don't know rather than having spent too much time forming conclusions and presumptions that once corrected after 6 months together will only make me wonder what else I presumed wrong about them  LOL

My parents married after 3 months.... and my mom has always told me that I should have about 5 guys pursuing me and seriously eligible suitors before I pick one... Mom's totally not for being exclusive before you're engaged/married... know your options and make sure they know you have options too and get serious, if you're ready, do it... if you're not ready, get out of the game :grin:

Realize that this is very serious, it is ok to go out and eat with friends.  But long term b/f g/f just will not work for marriage.  Again trust God.  What does He want for your life.  Show me in the Bible where there were long engagements.

[SippinTea]

Jacob had two of 'em. *smile*

[Brother Dad]

Jacob had two of 'em. *smile*

He was not engage nor did he even date these woman.  The firstone Leah he id not even want,  never even went out to lunch with her.  Worked seven years for and felt he got cheated on his pay.  Then he had to finish the week then got the second wife but had to stay and work seven more years to pay for her.

[Amelia Bedelia]

okay, so maybe there are some long engagement -esque scenarios (the bride of Christ has been betrothed for how long now??) but where is there a long dating situation deciding about whether or not to decide to get married?  LOL

either you were about to get married or you were not
and if you're gonna get married, why not as soon as possible

[The Purple Fuzzy]

My husband and I knew each other 3 months when we got engaged and 6 months when we got married.  Been married 25 years now.

[InChristGirl]

I always had a problem with Jacob's story...........I mean come on.........It must have been realllllllllly dark in that tent for him to not realize who it was until the next morning.

[Brother Dad]

okay, so maybe there are some long engagement -esque scenarios (the bride of Christ has been betrothed for how long now??) but where is there a long dating situation deciding about whether or not to decide to get married?  LOL

either you were about to get married or you were not
and if you're gonna get married, why not as soon as possible

Right on

[InChristGirl]

I plan on being engaged just as long as it takes to plan the wedding........not a moment longer

[Scott]

I always had a problem with Jacob's story...........I mean come on.........It must have been realllllllllly dark in that tent for him to not realize who it was until the next morning.

Remember that the women were generally veiled all the time and during their marriage feast they did drink wine, AND.......  think about it.......NO ELECTRICITY, and in a dark tent, in the desert, with a lady whose face you may have not seen, and even if you had, in the dark you may not be able to tell one sister from the other, and chances are not much talking was done.

It was in the light of day that he realized that a switch had been made.  Notice though, he kept her around and had kids with her, so there must have been some mush going on and I do not read that he complained.

[MelodyB]

He was a guy after all.

*cough*

[SippinTea]

I plan on being engaged just as long as it takes to plan the wedding........not a moment longer

With several preachers in the family....

*sudden coughing fit*

[MelodyB]

[RainbowJingles]

What was/is your reasoning behind your desire to pursue this avenue for your life?  What background led to your formulation of this desire?  Did certain events lead to your choice?  Just whatever factors that led to the decision for yourself if you just simply consider the "why" of it......


? ? ? ? ? ?

There have been some really good things said in this thread.  I've enjoyed reading it, that's for sure!

Let's see if I can address the original question from my perspective.

What was/is your reasoning behind your desire to pursue this avenue for your life?
My reasoning is that if someone awesome enough for me to fall in love with is crazy enough to fall in love with me, then I'd better either hogtie him down or marry him in order to keep him close to me.  So far there hasn't been anyone quite that crazy, but I want to find that someone who will make me realize what I've been missing and make me wish that I had found him sooner.

What background led to your formulation of this desire?
My background in the church and God's word led me to desire to find a man who could love me with the love that Christ loved the church.  I desire to find a man who will be the type of man that I can honor, respect and obey willingly/honor.
I do not desire marriage because of any particular example or model that I have seen, but rather for what I believe that God can make it when two people are dedicated to Him and desire to do His will together.  Scripture tells us that "two are better than one."

Did certain events lead to your choice?
You know, there have been moments of loneliness that have made me wish to not be alone, but I don't think those were the moments where I just kind of said, "I want to be married."

Just whatever factors that led to the decision for yourself if you just simply consider the "why" of it......
If I ever find the right guy, then I'll let you know a few more of the details, but I have a feeling that, once I find the right one, that I'll end up saying what all the married people already say, "you'll just 'know'."  *sigh*    I DO know that there have been a few who HAVEN'T been right, and I've just *known* it at some point or other in the dating.  I also know that there are some that I thought could easily be right for me, but the guy hasn't felt the same way.  Oh well.  Such is life.

[InChristGirl]

I plan on being engaged just as long as it takes to plan the wedding........not a moment longer

With several preachers in the family....

*sudden coughing fit*

A nice...not-so-traditional wedding.

[MelodyB]

Like a nice Elvis drive-thru chapel in Vegas?

[Brother Dad]

I always had a problem with Jacob's story...........I mean come on.........It must have been realllllllllly dark in that tent for him to not realize who it was until the next morning.

Remember that the women were generally veiled all the time and during their marriage feast they did drink wine, AND.......  think about it.......NO ELECTRICITY, and in a dark tent, in the desert, with a lady whose face you may have not seen, and even if you had, in the dark you may not be able to tell one sister from the other, and chances are not much talking was done.

It was in the light of day that he realized that a switch had been made.  Notice though, he kept her around and had kids with her, so there must have been some mush going on and I do not read that he complained.

Hey Scott notice these verses Gen 49:2929 And he charged them, and said unto them, I am to be gathered unto my people: bury me with my fathers in the cave that is in the field of Ephron the Hittite,30 In the cave that is in the field of Machpelah, which is before Mamre, in the land of Canaan, which Abraham bought with the field of Ephron the Hittite for a possession of a buryingplace.31 There they buried Abraham and Sarah his wife; there they buried Isaac and Rebekah his wife; and there I buried Leah.

Jacob not only did not complain, but when he was on his death bed he told all his sons to bury him with Leah.  His flesh desired Rahel, but was it meant of God to have Leah.  I preached a message about the "Chosen Forrgotten"   But if you read the story of Jacob and his two wives you will find that Leah was the one that loved Jacob the most.  Rachel complained, sold Jacob to leah for some drugs.  Wonder how that felt.  I am sure that all the years that his father-in-law used him really paled to the fact the woman he had loved, sold him for some drugs.  Just thought you might find this interesting.  I feel by scripture in the end Jacob loved Leah more than Rachel.  It is always better to trust God rather than flesh.

[MelodyB]

Oh wow. I have never seen that before. Im gonna have to go read that again.

[Brother Dad]

Another point I would like to make about why young people get married.  It is the desire of most people at sometime or another to have children.  There is a medical condition called "Empty Nest Syndrome".  I preached one time from Gen 30:1Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, Give me children, or else I die.  While study on this I talk to a RN, she explained to me about the syndrome and how some woman would even take their own lives because of it.  Where people were too busy building careers, to take time to build their families.  Only to realize time had slipped them by.  The desire God had placed in them to be parents was so strong yet they wasted their youth for their own desires, pushing God's desires to the side. 

I feel that it is in each of us to some extent to have a child.  I know as Man I desired to have a son, and most men do.  It is something God put inside of us to Gen 1:28 Be fruitful, and multiply.

But make sure here again it is the right person God has for you.  Stay around good Godly folks.  Go to good Godly Rallies.  If God desires for you to get married you will find them. 

[The Purple Fuzzy]

I prayed for God to send the right person.  There were NO guys in my church or area that I was interested in, but a couple of months after I prayed, I met my future husband.  I was specific, I asked for certain things, like a person that was sold out to God, among other things, and that is just exactly what he sent.