Why Did or Do You Want To Get Married?

[SippinTea]

Because God created us this way.

B

As usual--the simplistic, straight-forward answer suits me best.  And also annoys me no end. It would be so much more convenient to _not_ be created this way.

[B]

It would be so much more convenient to _not_ be created this way.

If this is what God Himself longs for, created entire universes for, and even died for.... don't you think this is worth whatever inconveniences it might temporarily put in front of us? *grin*

B

[Chseeads]

Nope.

[SippinTea]

B, I don't like it when you're so logical.

And yes, of course I agree wholeheartedly.... on most days. From my limited observation point, provided people keep their eyes wide-open when choosing a mate, the benefits and joys seem to outweigh the hindrances and sorrows. But then... I'm still a nun. What do I know?

Now quit trying to get me out of my bad mood.

[myhaloisintheshop]

It would be so much more convenient to _not_ be created this way.

If this is what God Himself longs for, created entire universes for, and even died for.... don't you think this is worth whatever inconveniences it might temporarily put in front of us? *grin*

B

Niiiiice!   

[Backseat Radio]

for me any desire for a long term relationship or marriage has mostly to do with the pressure society puts on me that theres something wrong with me because I'm almost 28 and not in any kind of relationship.  That pressure aside I truthfully don't ever picture myself getting married.

[B]

B, I don't like it when you're so logical.

*grin* But that's my job...

Now quit trying to get me out of my bad mood.

I didn't realize you were in one. Now that I know, I'll do my best to get you out of it. lol

B

[SippinTea]

*laugh*

[Melody]

wow, so many eloquent and beautiful things said.  I agree with them so much I cannot add or take away a thing.

I will say though, one of the things I felt was that I wanted to stay best friends with Nathan forever.  I didn't want any other best friend and I didn't want life to lead us apart.  I can't say it'd be ok if he hurt me, but I can say that I would forgive him, that the last 10 years were worth all the hard times mixed in that time.

[mini]

I would like to insert one thing...marriage wasn't something I decided one day that I needed and therefore went out prowling for a wife.  I dated, found some qualities that I liked and some I didn't.  I watched other couples, and saw their ups and downs.  When I started dating Chel, I realized that she had the types of qualities that I wouldn't mind being around for the rest of my life.

To put it simply, I was in love!  :grin:

On a serious note, if you listen to people who are not in church, (not to be mean) or people who have had little or no experience in relationships or marriage, and take their opinions as fact, you can have a very warped idea of marriage, its values, and its downfalls.  There are plenty of people (family included) that want to turn every marriage story into a horror story.  NOT EVERY STORY IS  A HORROR STORY.  Are there bad times?  Yes?  Are there good times? Way more than the bad times.  The good times outweigh the bad times.  One thing that you HAVE to factor in is God.  You have to realize that marriage is a mixing process and sometimes, we have to turn to God to help us mix.  For that matter, we have God to make our marriages last.

My former pastor described it as a triangle, with God at the top point.

         GOD
           ^
         /    \
       /        \
   MAN----WOMAN

The closer you and your wife get to God, the closer you get to each other.  If you draw away from God, you find yourself drawing away from each other.  And if you start slipping, you find yourself further away from God, and each other.  The other thing is that if you ever put something in your life as top priority instead of God (ie, spouse, work, hobby) you find that things wont be as smooth as they should be either.  For a marriage to work, you have to keep God as top priority.  The stronger the walk with God, the stronger the marriage.

[Mrs. Yosemite]

Did I have amnesia? Was I hypnotized?? Was I crazy??? lol Just kidding. When I first met my husband, I thought he was weird. I guess it was because of his car. He had a volkswagon bug that was painted up like a little hotwheels car. I just felt like minnie mouse riding around in it.  Then one night we went out to eat and he took his glasses off and laid them on the table and thats when I really noticed his eyes.

I remember thinking to myself..." hmmm he's kinda cute with his glasses off. " So one date lead to the next. After courting for about 2 years, we decided we really didnt have a whole lot in common and I thought we needed some time and space to do our own thing. Thats when I found out I was miserable! Even being alone was better than trying to date somebody else.

I guess when you find out that you miss somebody, it makes you thankful for the times when they are around. We've almost been married 2 years now and I still cant stand the thoughts of ever being without him.  Although sometimes it is fun to have the computer all to myself. hehehe 

[yosemite]

some body kept poking me with a pitch fork!!!LOL  i love her alot. she completes me. we have a great sense of like minded humor. we enjoy agrivating each other and sharing in the moment. one day at a time!  thnx yo

[Chseeads]

Those aren't necessarily really answering the question....  "Just cause I liked so and so...." is not the kind of depth I was probing for. lol 

Everything we do in life, from the biggest to the smallest things, is a choice...  Why did/do you want to date anyone to begin with?  Why did/do you envision such a pathway for your life....?  Etc. etc.

[MelodyB]

You are getting kind of deep here lately Sethers.

[myhaloisintheshop]

I never invisioned ANYTHING for my life that actually happened!

Did i want to date Clint?  No.  Actually--he just wasn't my type and then God stepped in.

Did i want 4 kids?  Nope!   But God blessed me anyway!

Did I want to be in ministry?  Noooooooooo!  But God saw something in me that he wanted to use.

Sometimes---things just happen--God is just in it!  No explanations needed.  There is nothing to think about.  Its just right!

Sometimes Seth...you put too much thought into things..lol

If you don't want to date--don't.   But don't be suprised if God places a Godly woman in your life that you find yourself wanting to spend time with.  Until then--be content with where you are.

[Chseeads]

Oh if that happened I would definitely be surprised.


And yes, I do think too much about some things....

However, everything you do is seriously a choice, and you have a reason behind it. 

If you have to go to the bathroom, it's your choice to get up and do it or not.  And there's a reason behind your decision.  lol 

Everything is a choice...


If marriage seems like the obvious option for you, then tehre has to be a reason for that.  There's a background in your life somewhere that tells you that that is a reasonable and legitimate pursuit.  There's inputs into these things from a variety of sources. 

[Backseat Radio]

if I ever get married it would definatley have to be God bringing it about in my life cause theres no possibilities in my life and no forseeable ones in the future.  The only possibilities I've had lately have turned out to be duds.  Actually its just as well cause I wouldn't want to drag a guy through the spiritual searching I've been in.

[Scott]

What was/is your reasoning behind your desire to pursue this avenue for your life?  What background led to your formulation of this desire?  Did certain events lead to your choice?  Just whatever factors that led to the decision for yourself if you just simply consider the "why" of it......


? ? ? ? ? ?

I was bored one night and the next thing I knew I was married.

What was/is your reasoning behind your desire to pursue this avenue for your life?

Actually, I simply met a gal and things just progressed. Neither of us were looking to get married, in fact I was just preaching a revival at the church she attended. Her pastor and his family were a bit boring and I asked her to go out one night, she was hungry, attending college and a free meal at a Mexican Restaurant sounded good to her. (the fact that I was so cool was also a key factor)

It just happened.

In fact, I did have two casual girlfriends back home - frankly I assumed that I would end up married to one of them.

What background led to your formulation of this desire? .

Um...

My mom and dad got married and were blessed with me as a child.  Perhaps I wanted to see if I could do as good a job as they did?

Seth,

Are you trying to run and audit on why people get married?

Bro, it is part of life.

Did certain events lead to your choice?..

Yes

She and I fell in love.  We never planned to do so, but it happened that way and I had to break up with these two gals back home.


The why is simple...

Boy Met Girl

Boy was very cool

Boy and Girl fell in love.

Boy and Girl became Man and Wife.

Two teen-aged sons later, they are still man and wife

[Chseeads]

Seth,

Are you trying to run and audit on why people get married?

Bro, it is part of life.

Yes, in fact I am. 

Who says it's part of life?  It's a choice as to whether it is or not.

I guess nobody else thinks about it like I do. 

[Melody]

well, I'll tell you, I was not interested in being married as a teenager.  I had saw my parents divorce, my mom get remarried and it was Stressful to say the very least.  But, I can't say that I didn't have an attraction to boys...lol   

Somehow, when Nathan and I got serious, it didn't matter what everyone else's marriage was like, cause we were not everyone else.  And I was not marrying someone just like my dad and I was not the mini-me of my mom.   Now, we did have to work together to figure out why we seen things the way we did and what is the correct perspective, but you'll have that no matter what.  Even if your parents are 100 generation apostolics with a peaceful upclass home who never raise their voice and all their children respect them and eachother.... you'll still have flaws and flawed perspectives.  But really, that's one of the blessings, is coming to revelations via your marriage.  Seeing relationships the way that God intends to be with us/the church.   See God in our spouse and growing closer to God because of it.  That is amazing.  While I may say some things like my mom, I am not her and my marriage is not like hers at all.   People are not truth, God is truth.  What people do is often manifestation of sin, but that doesn't change what God can and will do.

[MelodyB]

I guess nobody else thinks about it like I do. 

Apparently not.

I have my reasons for thinking the way I do, but I am not going to say that God can not, or will not ever step in and change the way I think.

He can for anyone...including you.

[Chseeads]

I didn't really mean "thinks the same way as I do about it," I meant that nobody else does as much thinking and analysis of everything related to it, like I do.... 

However, I doubt anyone else DOES 'think about it like I do' either.... 

[MelodyB]

I dont think that anyone thinks like you about anything really. But thats a good thing...then people never know what you are thinking.

[B]

Who says it's part of life?  It's a choice as to whether it is or not.

I'm pretty sure God says it's a part of life. Obviously, there are exceptions, but for most of us it's a part of life.

B

[Chseeads]

I'm pretty sure God says it's a part of life. Obviously, there are exceptions, but for most of us it's a part of life.

B

Why?


How come it's so hard for anybody to answer that....  Apparently nobody knows why they do it...LOL