Why Did or Do You Want To Get Married?

[Sis]

RE: Empty Nest Syndrome

This happens when women wrap their whole life around their children with no other interests. In most cases, they even discover they don't even know their own husbands very well because they've given their whole lives to their children.

That's not healthy, nor is it the will of God. God wants you to raise your children, to love your husband and to do the work of the kingdom in any way you can at the moment. Granted, when you have a newborn, or twins (Or more) at home, it's hard to do anything else for a long time. But as your children grow, it's healthier to let them find things do do for themselves. It teaches them how to solve problems and entertain themselves.

Some men are so wrapped up in their careers, the wife is wrapped up in the kids and they don't even know each other when the kids go off to school or to start their own families. There are too many divorces because they don't pay attention to each other or their marriage all these years.

When my daughter left to get her own apartment, people asked me if I suffered from the Empty Nest. I said, "No." When the phone rings it's for ME. When I'm in the bathroom, nobody is pounding on the door asking me what I'm doing. And Stevebert and I could kiss without someone standing by, rolling her eyes and saying
MO - THER!   

[okieoliveoyl]

Companionship
Unity
Love
Support
Strength in numbers 

I want someone to experience life's ups and downs with, someone to hold on to when its tough and someone to celebrate with when its great.  I want to share my life with someone and have them share theirs with me, I want to build a new life together and have a family.  I want to help and support his dreams, and make new ones together.  I want to have someone around that compliments my strengths and weaknesses, I can be a complete person but still not be great at everything... I want more than just me involved in my decisions... I want that balance and different viewpoint that having someone else involved in your life brings.  I want to grow old with someone, I want to be there for someone while they grow old.  I want someone that I can fully love, be devoted to, trust, be vulnerable with and care for without holding back.... I want to be someone's other half and I want my other half

and its boring and feels pointless cooking for one
and coming home to an empty house gets old

And I'm really not fond of sleeping alone 

^^^agree with that^^^ ditto that!!!

Marriage is a maturity issue (staying through the thick and thin, good and bad) and a personal issue (I found someone that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with).  I cant really imagine what Chel and I will look when we are old, but hey, im looking forward to that day.

well i don't know about Chel...but as for you dearest minnie mouse...fat and bald...fat and bald....

[Chseeads]

He said in the future, not in the present.

[nicolejoy]

I've been known to psycho analyse everything too Seth, drives my husband crazy. Just last night, I was asking him "Why don't you ever think about all this "what if..." kind of stuff??" - but he doesn't... We're like Scott and his wife - total opposites!! But we balance each other...

I think that wanting to get married for me starts from having seen GOOD MARRIAGES - then you think that marriage is a GOOD thing. If I had never seen a good marriage, I wouldn't want to get married... It really starts with thinking about marriage in a POSITIVE way...

and Seth, I think that's the MAIN difference between you and me - you seem to view marriage as a NEGATIVE thing with all these SACRIFICES that you have to make, rather than a POSITIVE thing with the BENEFITS of sharing life with someone, not being alone, etc...

Of course there are ups and downs in anything - good days and bad days... there ARE sacrifices in being married - but in my opinion - both BEFORE and AFTER marriage - the positives outweigh the negatives - so marriage is GOOD

[sunlight]

I'm pretty sure God says it's a part of life. Obviously, there are exceptions, but for most of us it's a part of life.

B

Why?


How come it's so hard for anybody to answer that....  Apparently nobody knows why they do it...LOL

Because 2 people working together as one can do a whole lot more than 2 seperate people can by themselves.
Synergy... where 1+1=3.

[The Purple Fuzzy]

In God's eyes it's even more. Doesn't the Bible say that one can put a thousand to flight and two can put ten thousand?

[iridiscente]

For me there were several reasons.

I am not the best independent person and realized that if I were to explore life in any capacity, it would be better suited to my personality to do it with someone else.

I have been taught that I am under the headship of either my father or my husband, I was ready to move on from my father. For many reasons.

Ben was interested in all of the things I was interested in. He was everything I wasn't when it came to adventure. We balanced each other out in a lot of ways. I realized that with him we were more than the sum total should have been. For each of my negatives, he seems to have a positive, and for his, I do.

Educationally, he helped me figure out what I could do in life that would make a difference. I loved Spanish, but wasn't confident enough to pursue it without his encouragement. I love teaching, but who knows if I would have become a teacher without his prompting.

We had similar spiritual backgrounds, only, we balanced each other out in this area as well.

We both desired a large family. Admittedly, this must be done with more than one person.

I would say that most of the reasons I was drawn to marry him were emotional and psychological more than physical, though that always plays a part. However, I realized that it was a huge commitment and one night in particular always stands out to me. I was praying and agonizing over the decision of marriage because for me it was a life time commitment and I knew everything would change... I really wanted to KNOW that God approved. I understood that He doesn't usually speak in ways we can hear audibly, but I needed something. I prayed for a long time and asked for His confirmation in this next step in my life. I felt as though I were wrestling and like I couldn't afford to give up praying until I had an answer.As I was very upset and worried I prayed and suddenly I felt His peace settle over me like I have never felt before. It was like warmth that started in my stomach (where I always feel stressed out) and spread to my whole body. I just knew that it was His way of saying "It's Ok, I am with you in this."

I guess you could say it isn't able to be proven scientifically or that it was a psychological phenomenon, but to me it was very real.

I know that that instance where I felt God's approval is what has helped me in the hard times.

[SippinTea]

*hugs* Adina

I'm glad you posted in here.

[iridiscente]

*hugs* back

*hugs* Adina

I'm glad you posted in here.

[(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude]

This is still a good read...  Thanks for all the input... 

[kkay]

I want to get married because he has been with me through EVERYTHING. These certain events definitely helped his chances :

When my father passed away, he was the one person who helped keep me strong. He didn't baby me and that's what I needed at the time. He didn't let me think about it too much, but when I did, he was there to comfort me. When I woke up crying, he held me.

Last year, he took me to a wrestling event (yes, we like wrestling ). I can't say all the details, but he made it the most romantic night of my entire life. He gave me his coat, held my hand, and even offered to lift me up so I could see better.

Those are 2 of the most memorable things he's done for/with me.

[RainbowJingles]

Long time; no post.

An update to my original answer:

As far as all the "you'll just know" stuff goes...
Well, it's like this:
You know it's the right person when you no longer need or want to ask, "how do you know?"

Somehow, the person that YOU are is different in ways that you never envisioned.
And you're okay with it.
And you want to be around this other person because it makes you a better person.
And they feel like they are better when you are together.
And it balances who you are and makes you feel more complete without making you feel like less of a person.

It makes a formerly independent person suddenly feel like it will seriously be okay to be a bit dependent on someone else.
It makes the helpless feel stronger.
It makes the skeptical less fearful.
It makes you realize that things that you thought would ALWAYS be the same may change...
and you won't mind a bit as long as this person is there with you through it.

[MelodyB]

And trust me when God brings that right person in your life you will know it.

I really, really hope you're right on that one.

So....Ruby....was he right on this one?

[(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude]

Long time; no post.

An update to my original answer:

As far as all the "you'll just know" stuff goes...
Well, it's like this:
You know it's the right person when you no longer need or want to ask, "how do you know?"

Somehow, the person that YOU are is different in ways that you never envisioned.
And you're okay with it.
And you want to be around this other person because it makes you a better person.
And they feel like they are better when you are together.
And it balances who you are and makes you feel more complete without making you feel like less of a person.

It makes a formerly independent person suddenly feel like it will seriously be okay to be a bit dependent on someone else.
It makes the helpless feel stronger.
It makes the skeptical less fearful.
It makes you realize that things that you thought would ALWAYS be the same may change...
and you won't mind a bit as long as this person is there with you through it.

Excellent post...  :grin:

[SippinTea]

*grin* Yes.

And Elona was SO totally right on with her answer, too.

[RainbowJingles]

*curtsies*
Thank you, darlin'.