When should a Guy Call?

[TheGirl]

Ok so I've heard some guys have this philosophy that you should wait a day or two to call a girl after meeting or a first date. But it seems to me that if a guy is truly interested he would want to see if the girl was interested and would stop the anticipation and just find out.
My question being if a guy was really interested in dating or talking to someone would he wait or call?

[1legRooster]

Depends on the guy. 

I would  be the type to call shortly after, but some are the waiting type.  Personally I think making a lady wait is a game.

[Scott]

When I was dating, it sort of depended on circusmstances. Sometimes you called the next day to let her know that you really enjoyed yourself, other times you mailed a card the next day then followed up 3 to 4 days later and there were some times that you ripped up her phone number and got out the self hypnosis book to learn how to banish her from your mind forever.... it doesn't work - trust me I am haunted to this day by certain dates from way south (if you catch my drift)

Normally it is usually a judgment call.




 

[Sis]

Ok so I've heard some guys have this philosophy that you should wait a day or two to call a girl after meeting or a first date. But it seems to me that if a guy is truly interested he would want to see if the girl was interested and would stop the anticipation and just find out.
My question being if a guy was really interested in dating or talking to someone would he wait or call?

It might take that long for some guys to work up the nerve to call.   

[taco_harvell]

The "reason" a lot of guys wont call for a couple of days is they  think it makes them looks "desperate". Bad excuse, but I have heard it more then once.

[Newsman]

I think the conventional wisdom (used to be, I'm not much in the dating scene anymore,) is for the guy to wait two days.

I can see that if the guy has just gotten the lady's phone number. As Taco points out, there is the perception the guy is desperate if he calls too quickly.

After a first date, I think the call should either have been pre-arranged "may I call you toorrow/Tuesday/whatever".. or else send a small gift or thank you card.

That said, I have a horrible track record at calling women I have their phone numbers..then again, I seldom ask women out.one woman I dated several years ago, I tried (for me,) calling too much, as I thought that was the current convention among dating couples, from what I could see my much-more-actively-chasing-women friend was doing.

YMMV.


John 

[sunlight]

[Newsman]

Lady Chel,

   How often do YOu like for your men to call you?


John 

[Scott]

The bottom line - there is no hard fast rule, just male fear of rejection! Remember -guys call girls 100% sure that she will laugh in his face or reject him with a sneer and grimace. 99.9% of all guys are totally shocked to find out that a girl is interested in them.

Guys will not admit it, but single girls scare single guy to death!

The same idiot that will drive one handed with his head out the window going 90 MPH is afraid of that 5'1" cutie!

The same macho goof ball that smashes coke cans against his forehead is petrified of that gal he was staring at last night.

[World Traveler]

The men are supposed to call?

Hmmmm...

Ok, that might explain some things.

[Sis]

I think the conventional wisdom (used to be, I'm not much in the dating scene anymore,) is for the guy to wait two days.

I can see that if the guy has just gotten the lady's phone number. As Taco points out, there is the perception the guy is desperate if he calls too quickly.

That perception is by other guys. Girls think if you don't call the next day that you're not interested anymore and the date must have been a dud as far as the guy is concerned.

Who makes these dumb "Rules" anyway?

If a guy calls the next day and tells the girl he enjoyed himself but doesn't ask for a date right away, how does that make him look desperate?

[(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude]

Whoa... just had an epiphany... your supposed to wait 2 days until after a date to call a girl... hmmm...  

[TheGirl]

well I think its just, for lack of a better word, weird for guys to be scared. There are like millions of girls in the world so if a few say they'll pass wouldn't it be better to just go ahead and find out rather than to wait.

I guess I don't comprehend that guys are scared/nervous to ask a girl out (or call of whatever) I suppose because in a relationship I just expect a guy to be the relationship controller, so to speak. Does that leave to much pressure on a guy?

Someone else said something to the effect of "who said guys are the ones to call". . .guys what do you think, is it attractive for girls to make the first move?

[The Cold Water Kid]

If you keep your dignity you can roll through just about anything. If she ever loses respect for you then it's virtually impossible for a relationship to bloom. It's not about when you call, it's about who you are in her eyes.

[SippinTea]

Whoa... just had an epiphany... your supposed to wait 2 days until after a date to call a girl... hmmm...  

*rWooby smothers a laugh*

well I think its just, for lack of a better word, weird for guys to be scared. There are like millions of girls in the world so if a few say they'll pass wouldn't it be better to just go ahead and find out rather than to wait.

True, dat. From my observation, it's a pride issue. They're afraid of hearing "no" because it's a blow to their ego/self-esteem/whatever-you-want-to-call-it. In my opinion, this is one of those things that sets the men apart from the boys.

If you keep your dignity you can roll through just about anything. If she ever loses respect for you then it's virtually impossible for a relationship to bloom. It's not about when you call, it's about who you are in her eyes.

Uhhhh... yeah. And that has a lot to do with WHEN you call.

And loss of respect makes it completely impossible for a relationship to move forward. How can you love someone you do not respect?

My two cents.

[taco_harvell]

I also think it sometimes has a lot to do with how serious you think the relationship is or will become. If you see it as being very serious you would be much more likely to call her the next day. If you see it as just another date you would be much more willing to play silly little games like the phone waiting game. Trust me the silly little games part can go both ways though.

[(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude]

So how long should this said phone call be?

I usually have trouble cutting it short...  :grin:

[SippinTea]

Trust me the silly little games part can go both ways though.

For sure! Like the answer of "No, I can't go out with you Friday night... I'll be too busy ironing."

So how long should this said phone call be?

I usually have trouble cutting it short...  :grin:

Tee hee. I'm quoting you, 'cause I have a feeling Sir John can use this one. *cheeky grin*

[Scott]

Good grief Charlie Brown - do we have to hyper analyze everything. Forget the bloomin' so called rules... just go with the flow.




Each date is different, each person is different.

The basic bottom line is that the guy will call when he gets the courage to call. It might take 2 days, it might take 1.

I may have been married 25 years, but she didn't come in a box of cracker jacks folks.


I think we try to make dating a science, make it apply to certain rules and figure it  out. We cannot......

Let me repeat my self..

We
CANNOT
Figure
It
Out!!!!!

Dating is an emotional issue and emotions are weird!

[The Cold Water Kid]

I agree with a lot of what you said Scott, except for the part about a guy calling when he "gets the courage". I can't remember ever being afraid to call a woman on the phone.

Talking on the phone is a piece of cake.

[upcchris]

Talking on the phone is a piece of cake...so's talking online....talking in person is a whole 'nother ball game.

There's two ways this next scenario can be taken: after the guy's dropped her off home after their date, and shortly before she goes to bed she gets a call or message letting her know how great it was talking with her/hanging out/or how much fun he had and hoped she had as well. That can either be seen as adorably sweet or clingy/creepy. It depends on the girl and what the date was like and what the guy was like. Just don't call in the wee hours of the morning, she definitely will not appreciate that nor be in a good mood nor be receptive to agreeing to a second date.

Gotta love the turn down line 'sorry, I'll be washing my hair that night'

[Sis]

she didn't come in a box of cracker jacks folks

She didn't?  

[TheGirl]

Yes Scott? I do believe its Scott anyway... I agree that its emtions and we'll probably never figure it out, but whatever info I can get now would be somewhat useful

Talking on the phone is easier maybe face-to-face but online is WAY easier than either. Otherwise I never would have brought up this subject 



True, dat. From my observation, it's a pride issue. They're afraid of hearing "no" because it's a blow to their ego/self-esteem/whatever-you-want-to-call-it. In my opinion, this is one of those things that sets the men apart from the boys.
If this were facebook I'd click "like"

[The Purple Fuzzy]

she didn't come in a box of cracker jacks folks

She didn't?  

 That was great, Scott!

[(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude]

omw... there are rules for this stuff?   

Was it written by the same guy as "who wrote the book of love?"   :grin:

As far as all this stuff goes... hmmm...

Talking on the phone to girls is easy as long as your a guy who enjoys talking on the phone... the same could be said of the girl... but come on... does anyone know of any females who don't like talking...     Just kiddin...

Same with online chat... it is easy unless you dont like it...

And the same could be said for being in person...

Some people just don't like talking... period... but as far as being too shy to call a girl... nah... the worst she can do is hang up, call the cops, get a restraining order, hire a hitman, and you have you removed from her and everyone else's facebook page... 

All I know is if you think God is opening the door, there is a reason... so walk through... if you dont... for whatever reason, you'll regret it later and always wonder from having not attempted!

So in short... if a guy is interested call... if the girl is interested... smile at him... or call him, or whatever... it never hurts to verify that your going to call her... that way she has been dutifully warned, and won't be busy doing her hair...

Just my randomized