Question for Singles

[SippinTea]

Though it wasn't your intention, you've made my point for me. Contentment, not necessarily happiness, should be our aim. I don't think poor people, or crippled people, or imprisoned people, etc., etc. are ever "happy" to be where they are in life... but they can be content.

Ummm.... you're helping Thomas's view here, friend.

Generally speaking, those people don't CHOOSE to be where they are.

In this culture, you get to CHOOSE who you marry. One would be stupid to purposely choose someone who makes them unhappy. If they choose someone they love, someone they enjoy being with, someone who is their "equal" in spiritual things, and life throws a curve ball at them (say, their spouse ends up crippled, or loses their mind, or something equally devastating)... then no, their lives may not be "happy" - even if they learn to be content. But should you purposely choose a spouse who has, say, gone mental, just so's you can somehow prove to yourself (or the world in general??) that it's possible to be content in miserable circumstances? Ludicrous.

[YooperYankDude]

Sorry... one more post... perhaps the confusion is in word content... I love looking at words (as most of ya'll know...), their definitions and their synonyms and antonyms...

From thesaurus.com

Main Entry:   content
Part of Speech:   adjective
Definition:   happy, agreeable

Synonyms:    appeased, at ease, can't complain, comfortable, complacent, contented, fat dumb and happy, fulfilled, gratified, pleased as punch, satisfied, smug, tickled pink, willing

Antonyms:    depressed, disagreeable, discontent, dissatisfied, disturbed, needy, unhappy, upset, wanting

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Main Entry:   content
Part of Speech:   noun
Definition:   comfort, happiness

Synonyms:    contentment, ease, gratification, peace, peace of mind, pleasure, satisfaction

Antonyms:    discontent, displeasure, uncomfortableness, unhappiness

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Main Entry:   content
Part of Speech:   verb
Definition:   please

Synonyms:    appease, bewitch, captivate, charm, delight, enrapture, gladden, gratify, humor, indulge, make happy, mollify, placate, reconcile, satisfy, suffice, thrill, tickle

Antonyms:    anger, displease, disturb, upset

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hmmm... so what we just saw from www.thesaurus.com, whom I trust with for definitions... if you dont... well... I dont know what else to say...

I did not prove your point, as our view points are basically diametrically opposed... and it would appear as though I am not the only one here who opposes your skewed viewpoint.

You are entitled to you opinion though, and as I have no need to further prove this point, because it is you and your immediate realm of influence that will suffer from your view point... I rest on this note...

Being content is being happy! My cup is neither half full, or half empty... God has just given me a larger than normal cup, and I can assure you that most of the time it is not only full, but overflowing... 

There are those who could attest to the fact that I am not happy-go-lucky 100% of the time... times of trial come and go, but I do believe they could attest to my being content, which as I just showed through various synonyms, is one in the same with being happy!

Friend, I choose to be happy... it is my choice as well as yours... you can choose to be unhappy if you like, but then it would be you making those around you unhappy... not God.

I would apologize for being as one friend put it... Mr. Rich-in-words... but I can't... so God Bless in Jesus Name...

[The Cold Water Kid]

But should you purposely choose a spouse who has, say, gone mental, just so's you can somehow prove to yourself (or the world in general??) that it's possible to be content in miserable circumstances? Ludicrous.

Did the story of Hosea come to mind as you were writing this?

[The Cold Water Kid]

We can be content & satisfied in any situation.

[taco_harvell]

Being content is being happy...

If the question that started this thread boils down to this, content = happy, then there's no reason to ask the question in the first place. The only answer a Christian can give to the question of "Can you be content if X...?" is a resounding "Yes!". Contentment is a Biblical mandate, and to deny it's application in our lives is likely a form of idolatry. Excepting things like air, water, food (a suffocating man is never content) anything that can, by its absence or presence, deny you of contentment is exalted above God, is it not?

I read the original post to be asking something other than "Can you be content if you never marry?". I read it to be essentially asking "If having a wife/ husband is the desires of your heart, could you rejoice in your later years if this desire were to go unfulfilled?". My point from the beginning has been that we should "set your [our] hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God." (Colossians 3:1). For some life will bring the joys of marriage and family, a good job, good health, and all the rest while for others it will bring pain, sorrows, disappointments and more. Both lives, if the Lord tarries, will end in death. Both souls can find contentment only if their hearts are set on "things above".

If Job had died in his trials God would have remained blameless. The fact that he lived and God restored everything to him (and even more) is not a testimony to God's righteousness, but to His goodness. Job was able to endure his misery because his heart was set on things above; on what he would receive after this life was through.

Job 19:26 (King James Version)
26And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God:

After reading this I have to ask a few questions. Using your premise that we are only to desire the things above, then are we never to desire things that make us happy here? Is it sinful then to desire a new car? Is it wrong to desire a better job? Should we simply be "content" where we are and just hold on till Jesus comes?

Nobody here asked or suggested that the desire for a spouse was anywhere near their desire for the things of God. It isn't wrong to want or desire things as long as your heart is right. There are many levels of desire, I desire to live for God with all my heart, I desire a krispy kreme doughnut and my heart has nothing to do with that just my sweet tooth.

It seems like your placing everything on the same level and that's not the case. Yes to some the desire to be "happy" out weighs their desire to live for God and that usually shows in how they live. If your hearts desire is living for God your life and other desires will fall in line with his will.


Psa 37:3  Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
Psa 37:4  Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Psa 37:5  Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
Psa 37:6  And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.

[The Cold Water Kid]

The desire for a new car (or a doughnut for that matter) can not be compared with a person's desire to marry. We don't have a $10,000+ ceremony when a friend buys a car. We know there is something unique about the relationship between a man and a woman. There were no doughnuts or sports cars in Eden, but there was a couple of newlyweds.

[Sis]

Who had $10,000 to get married?  You don't HAVE to have a huge wedding with all the trappings. That's mostly for show.

[The Cold Water Kid]

I agree, and I hope the woman I marry agrees too! My idea of a great wedding is simple decorations and clothes with the bulk of the money being spent on copious amounts of great food and lots of comfortable places for people to sit, relax and just enjoy themselves. Maybe even one of those two or three day affairs? Who knows?

[Sis]

I would rather spend the money on a trip. I think spending large amounts of money on free food for people who only come for free food is silly. Now, send me on a cruise so I can pig out on the ship, now, that's how to spend it.   

[RainbowJingles]

TEN thousand dollars on a wedding?!!? 

Goodness.

[TheGirl]

I agree, and I hope the woman I marry agrees too! My idea of a great wedding is simple decorations and clothes with the bulk of the money being spent on copious amounts of great food and lots of comfortable places for people to sit, relax and just enjoy themselves. Maybe even one of those two or three day affairs? Who knows?

A two or three day affair? 10,000 sounds bout right lol

[The Cold Water Kid]

A two or three day affair? 10,000 sounds bout right lol

Is $10,000 a lot? My brother recently got married and I'm sure the wedding was at least close to that much. Her dress was around $1000, plus she had to buy the dresses of her bride's maids, right? The groom and groomsmen's cloths are probably another grand total... then the food, the decorations, the out-of-towners who need a place to stay, the honeymoon, etc. It adds up quick. But then she's hispanic so it was kind of a big wedding.

[RainbowJingles]

Is $10,000 a lot??  In MY mind it is!!  I'd MUCH rather do something MEGA-simple and have that kind of money to spare when it's all said and done.  I just can't imagine spending that much.  I say keep it simple.  Save the money.

http://www.ourmarriage.com/html/who_pays_for_what.html

This website seems to be of the opinion that the bride pays for accomodations for out-of-town guests.  I don't think any out-of-town guest expects that to happen unless the bride's family has a huge home and can accommodate lots of people.

Wedding Gown, Headpiece & Accessories:  The Bride's Family
Wedding Ring for Bride: The Groom

Wedding Ring for Groom: The Bride

Wedding Gift for Groom: The Bride

Wedding Gift for Bride:  The Groom

Bridesmaid Gifts:  The Bride

Groomsmen/Usher Gifts:  The Groom

Bride's Bouquet:  The Groom

Bridesmaid Bouquets:  The Bride's Family

Mother's Corsages:  The Groom

Grandmother Corsages:  The Bride's Family

Groom's Boutonniere
The Groom

Groomsmen Boutonnieres
The Groom

Usher's Boutonnieres:  The Groom

Ceremony/Reception Flowers:  The Bride's Family

Altar Baskets/Arches : The Bride's Family

Canopy/Carpet:  The Bride's Family

Kneeling Bench/Candleabrahs:  The Bride's Family

Rented Items for Wedding
The Bride's Family

Rented Items for Reception
The Bride's Family

Invitations/Announcements
The Bride's Family

Wedding Programs
The Bride's Family

Napkins/Matches/Printed Items
The Bride's Family

Marriage License
The Groom

Medical Visit for Bride
The Bride

Medical Visit for Groom
The Groom

Church Fee
The Bride's Family

Clergyman/Officiant Fee
The Groom

Musician/Soloist
The Bride's Family

Church Janitor
The Bride's Family

Reception Hall Fee
The Bride's Family

Catered Reception/Professional Services
The Bride's Family  

Wedding Photography
The Bride's Family

Video Photography
The Bride's Family

Orchestra/Band/DJ
The Bride's Family

Wedding Cake
The Bride's Family

Wedding Favors
The Bride's Family

Groom's Cake
The Groom's Family

Rice Bags
The Bride's Family

Rehearsal Dinner
The Grooms Family

Bridesmaid Luncheon
The Bride

Bachelor Party
Best Man/Groom's Attendants

Wedding Breakfast
The Bride's Family

Bridal Brunch
The Bride's Family

Bridesmaid's Gowns
Bridesmaid's

Maid of Honor Gown
Maid of Honor

Matron of Honor Gown
Matron of Honor

Best Man Formal Wear
Best Man

Usher's Formal Wear
Ushers

Groomsmen's Formal Wear
Groomsmen

Gloves/Ties/Ascots for Attendants
The Groom

Father of Bride Formal Wear
Bride's Family

Father of Groom Formal Wear
Groom's Family

Children's Formal Wear
The Children's Parents

Limousine Service
The Groom

Honeymoon Arrangements
The Groom

Travel Expenses to the Wedding
The Out-of-town Attendant or Family Member

Accommodations for out-of town Guests
The Bride

Gifts for the Couple
Guest, Attendants and Family

[taco_harvell]

A two or three day affair? 10,000 sounds bout right lol

Is $10,000 a lot? My brother recently got married and I'm sure the wedding was at least close to that much. Her dress was around $1000, plus she had to buy the dresses of her bride's maids, right? The groom and groomsmen's cloths are probably another grand total... then the food, the decorations, the out-of-towners who need a place to stay, the honeymoon, etc. It adds up quick. But then she's hispanic so it was kind of a big wedding.

When I got married we had a very nice wedding and it was under 5oo bucks including her dress. It's amazing what people have laying around their homes that you can borrow for nothing.

[Sis]

Some brides have to have everything new and expensive. What a waste of money.

That list had several things that I thought the bride paid for. Hmmmm.  But I was right, I was going to say that the bride's maids paid for their own clothing.

They should go to David's Bridal. They have dresses for $100, and some of them are really cute. Some of the not so modest ones can be purchased, and the bride can have a little jacket made to go over them. I've seen that done, too. But  waaaaayyyyy under $1000!

I guess I'm just cheap.

[RainbowJingles]

I don't think you're cheap, Sis.

As for stuff "laying around the house": My mom and her sister both did wedding cakes and helped many people with weddings, so there are/were many things that I wouldn't even CONSIDER purchasing/renting.  And I have a mega boatload of favors that I could call in, as well as a bunch of stuff in storage.

[TheGirl]

At one time I was acutally planning a wedding and have already bought a lot of stuff and would have came out way under $10,000! But there was a lot of things I was planning differently, as in catering and limousine services. . .its so "country" here a limo would seem rather ridculous lol

[YooperYankDude]

I was thinkin of breaking the wedding traditions and having a Wedding Gingerbread house instead of a wedding cake... it has most of the same ingredients... lol   

Ohh... and they taste good too!

[Sis]

I don't think you're cheap, Sis.

As for stuff "laying around the house": My mom and her sister both did wedding cakes and helped many people with weddings, so there are/were many things that I wouldn't even CONSIDER purchasing/renting.  And I have a mega boatload of favors that I could call in, as well as a bunch of stuff in storage.

You wouldn't rent a cake?  Neither would I!   

Yoop:  I like paradigms being broken sometimes. Sounds like a winner to me.

[RainbowJingles]

Hmmm...  Mom had (now it's mine) a cake pan in the shape of a house.  Now that I'm thinking about it, it might be fun to incorporate a house cake into a wedding cake...  Hmmm...  Something to think about.

[RainbowJingles]

You wouldn't rent a cake?  Neither would I!   

Goofball!  lol

[SippinTea]

I was thinkin of breaking the wedding traditions and having a Wedding Gingerbread house instead of a wedding cake... it has most of the same ingredients... lol  

Ohh... and they taste good too!

Ooo... I like that! Nice idea, Mr T.

I want(ed) to do a coffee bar thingy with all the fun stuff... flavored syrups, whipped cream, sprinkles, etc. But I think it may end up cost-prohibitive. *shrug* And I'd rather take an extra day for our honeymoon, than offer guests fun coffee drinks. I'm greedy like that.

[Newsman]

Hmmm...


John 

[sunlight]

Are you happy being single? Do you feel you could remain single the rest of your life and be perfectly happy?
Do you feel only true happiness will come when you find someone to share your life with? Is marriage the only way you see yourself being content?

I am happy and content being single. I could remain single the rest of my life, and have often wondered in the past if that is what may end up happening. If true happiness only comes when you find someone to share your life with, that is something I haven't experienced yet, and have no knowledge of that greater happiness... so for now, the greatest happiness I have is serving God and being single. There is definitely more ways to be content than being married... If you aren't content single... how can you be content married? Aren't you to be *content whatsoever stage you find yourself in?*

[Gingerale]

Better late than never, huh?



Are you happy being single? 
I would so much say happy, but I am content. After being married and now divorced, I am learning that unless I am in the perfect will of God when it comes to someone, I will not be truly happy. So, I guess I could say content. I am single until God picks out the right kind of man for me.  



Do you feel you could remain single the rest of your life and be perfectly happy?

I actually asked myself this a few days ago. I think there's always going to be a longing for romantic interactions- i.e. cuddles and hugs! But... If God were to choose to keep me to Himself, I'd be everso happy.

Do you feel only true happiness will come when you find someone to share your life with? Is marriage the only way you see yourself being content?

Absolutely not. I am so happy right now. My life is lead by God, my heart is fixed on Him. And if I never remarry, I'll be fine with that, as long as I am involved in everything I can get my hands on when it comes to my calling.