WILL YOU MARRY ME?!

[Newsman]

   It's sort of looking ahead to the breakup..and generally protecting the one that went into the marriage with the most money.

   OK, not technically..but preparing for the posibility of a divorce before the wedding is a bit on the pessimistic side..if the other party causes that much misgivings..don't marry them!


John 

[newkris]

I don't really get the point of pre-nups...I mean, wouldn't you want your other half to be looked after if and when you die?

well, it is a bit of a pessimistic view.  however, those that i know with pre-nups are generally people who were widowed or heirs to a lot of cash in one way or another. perhaps they own a business that's successful.

generally, they are taking care of their legal interests in a pragmatic manner.  and, generally, it's done more to appease the rest of their family than in answer to a need to protect themselves.

for example, if i were an heiress (which, clearly i'm not), my kids might be fearful that if i get involved with a man he is only interested in my money.  (that will NEVER be my case).  so, to allay my kids' fears of what happens to their inheritance if my marriage fails, i do a pre-nup that divides the spoils in my favor.  this protects them and me. 

know what i mean?

it is pessimistic.  it's also realistic.  as i have learned all to well, follower of Christ or not, a lot can happen in life. 

[Newsman]

   That's a good point, as to the rest of the family..I was thinking along the lines when it's just the two people involved, then my earlier statement would apply, in my way of thinking.
   Although, even though Sir Paul McCartney apparently loved Heather Mills, a pre-nup would have saved him many millions..I'm cynical..she got a big payday for being with him for a few years.


John 
   

[SippinTea]

   It's sort of looking ahead to the breakup..and generally protecting the one that went into the marriage with the most money.

   OK, not technically..but preparing for the posibility of a divorce before the wedding is a bit on the pessimistic side..if the other party causes that much misgivings..don't marry them!

Usually, I'd agree with you. If we're looking at this strictly from a trust factor, then I would agree that if there's any doubt in someone's mind, they shouldn't be marrying the other person.

But there is always risk in marriage. Just because you marry someone 'in church' does not mean you won't end up in a messy divorce. We'd all like to believe in happily ever after, but life doesn't necessarily go that way, even when you've made what you thought was a good choice in a mate.

Kris, you have a valid point. The one thing I'd add is: people in love seldom seem to have their brain engaged. And sometimes, those kids who appear paranoid over the money issues of Mom re-marrying can see something Mom is blind to.

I see too much. 

[Sister_Mom]

On the other hand, I believe that we get out of something what we put into it. Marriage is a reflection Jesus and His bride, the church. If we come to Jesus with a back up plan, just in case He doesn't follow through with what He has promised to do, is that really giving Him our all? Although in a marriage we are dealing with the human factor, I believe we shouldn't enter into a marriage without knowing that we have God's approval and blessing on the marriage and that it is part of His plan for our lives. So if we are trusting God with our lives and not another person, aren't we holding back on surrendering our all if we enter into the marriage with a plan to protect ourselves, just in case?

My reality? Yes, we could lose out on a lot of money and a lot of things, but my life isn't centered around money and things. Everything we have belongs to God and He can increase or take it all away at His will. Marriage or not, we could each lose everything we have in an instant. I would prefer to risk everything and give my all to the direction that Jesus leads, and trust Him to take care of me than to withhold anything in order to protect myself.

[upcchris]

I don't really get the point of pre-nups...I mean, wouldn't you want your other half to be looked after if and when you die?

a pre-nup is in case of divorce, not death. if one dies the pre-nup doesnt count.

Oh...so basically if you sign a pre-nup, you're expecting to get divorced eventually...then why bother getting married in the first place?

[Nerd]