Discussion: Why Wait For A Mate?

[Newsman]

All right, an odd one for mew to post, but here goes.

I have been fighting a small case of pneumonia, so may just not be able to remember: Can anyone cite a specific verse that tells us we singles are supposed to "wait" on some specific command fmo God at a particular point in life to get married? I cannot think of one.

I'll hold some points in reserve for the discussion/debate I feel is coming!  Let's just keep it friendly! 


John 

[Chseeads]

You pretty much have to wait till one shows up or you find one.   

[NessasMama]

That's what I thought too!!!!!! Believe me, if I didn't have to wait for a mate to show up, and I could just go out and pick one, I wouldn't be sitting here tonight in front of this computer still single!!!!! !LOL!!!!!!!!

[Amelia Bedelia]

yeah, I'm only waiting because thats my only option right now  LOL

though I guess I don't really have to wait for a mate to start a family... I could buy a house and have (or adopt) kids without one but that doesn't seem fair to the kiddos - so I'll choose to wait on a mate for that

imagine if you could just go place your order at the Mate Store... LOL   "I'd like one tall and scruffy to go please"

[SippinTea]

Whew! What a topic.

At the moment I can't think of any verses telling us to wait on a specific command from God.

Stories that come to mind--

1) Isaac--his father sent a servant to pick a bride for him. That doesn't really sound like waiting to me.
2) Ruth--wasn't afraid to let Boaz know she was interested. That doesn't really sound like waiting either. (    Now there's a topic I don't want to have to think about!)

I'm thinking that if someone truly wants to get married (assuming they aren't just caving to church society because getting married is 'the thing to do'), then they should be actively watching for God to lead them to the right person. And yes, I do believe that God has one right person out there. That doesn't seem to be a populer opinion around here, but I'm sticking to it.    At least until someone can persuade me otherwise.

I think we would have to take into account the whole of finding God's will in this though. Things like prayer(asking for His leading), finding someone who is our equal in spiritual matters (since light cannot mix with darkness), following the path that leads to peace (since turmoil is not from God), and more...

Hmmm...good topic. I'll give it another think-over, and possibly post more later.

Being a pink-winker and all, I have to do my part to side-track the topic right from the start:     I still say that being the The Right One is more important than being consumed with finding The Right One.

[terp]

I think you've got it, Sippin.  I heard a statement once that changed my outlook on relationships, "Quit looking for Mr. Right and become Ms. Right."  If we could only turn the "waiting" into an action.  I don't know if there is one scripture or another that points to "waiting" in the sense that you should sit and only ever react.  I do think there are a lot of verses on "whatever your hand finds to do."  So, becoming a "lady in waiting" instead of a "lady waiting."  By being a lady in waiting, we can follow Ruth's lead by keeping our hands busy, serving others, obeying authority, making a living...etc.   (The same with Rebecca, Esther)  Another way to look at "waiting" is through the Gomer/Hosea story (a personal fav of mine that will have to wait for another time...)

That's my two cents!!! 

[Chseeads]

You want to go be a hooker and wait for your husband to come and buy you?   

[terp]

You want to go be a hooker and wait for your husband to come and buy you?   

  Oh Puh-lease.    

[Chseeads]

You're the one that said another way to look at waiting is through Hosea/Gomer.

[Scott]

Terp: Ignore cheezepuff there; the rest of us do.

As for ''waiting for a mate"

I don't know who coined that phrase or where that thought process came from, but I have heard it for years: it is not biblical.

When I met my wife, I was not looking for a wife and I was not planning to meet anyone. In fact, I met three girls that week, my wife was girl #2. I don't know what happened but something just *clicked*.  An Angel did not appear, skywriting in the sky did not appear and a voice of prophecy did not come forth saying "THUS SAYETH THE LORD OF HOSTS......"

We just met, spent some time together and the rest is history.

The only advice I can give is to be open and friendly.  Don't rule anyone out based on your initial impression and do not let pop society control your views. The most important thing to any relationship is to spend time with someone that you get along with. My wife's aunt always says that you have to be friends first.



 

[TRAV]

yeah, I'm only waiting because thats my only option right now  LOL

though I guess I don't really have to wait for a mate to start a family... I could buy a house and have (or adopt) kids without one but that doesn't seem fair to the kiddos - so I'll choose to wait on a mate for that

imagine if you could just go place your order at the Mate Store... LOL   "I'd like one tall and scruffy to go please"

[terp]

Scott, that's exactly what I was trying to say (thanks for the clarification ).  Quit looking...be yourself and live your life.  Period.

[TRAV]

THREAD LOCKED.














just kidding.hahaha. always wanted to do that.

[newkris]

oh my word . . .this is out of control and hasn't even started.

trav - you forgot the police car.

okay.  back to working and making a living all my own lonesome self . . which is NOT a bad option for life.   

[Newsman]

I was about to delete your post, TRAV, then saw your small-script note at the bottom..then I got a laugh.


John 

[nicolejoy]

it cracked me up too I was like... what's going on here!?!?!?

[RainbowJingles]

I often quote the Proverb: He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing.
It doesn't seem to address the woman finding a husband that I know of.

In our 90 day Bible challenge, I saw three instances within days of each other in my Scripture reading where the ladies were found at the well going about their daily business of life, and ended up with marriage proposals.
-Rebekkah
-Rachel
-Zipporah
(any ladies want to help me build a well?)  ;-)

As to Ruth's story, I'm still not sure what that one was all about, but I'd love to know.  I know there were some redemption things going on, but she still put herself on the line in that situation.  She obviously let him know she was interested.  Was she setting herself up for rejection?  There are times where I want to just put my cards on the table, but if the man is to be the head of the household and the leader in life, why should the lady start on the wrong foot, so to speak, by taking initiative and making the first move?

[Chinadoll]

Ruth was following her mother in law's instructions!

Nai

[Amelia Bedelia]

guys can be dense chickens... I figure sometimes you gotta make the first move so then he can make all the rest 

and hey, didn't you read the fishing thread?  http://godplace.com/forum/index.php?topic=24296.0

"Now the world is upside down," complained 90-year-old Cesar Okrane, his eyes obscured by a cloud of cataracts. "Men are running after women, instead of waiting for them to come to them."

For a man to go so far as to openly propose marriage is dangerous, say traditionalists on this island of 2,000 people.

"The choice of a woman is much more stable," explains Okrane. "Rarely were there divorces before. Now, with men choosing, divorce has become common."

See? We're smarter at picking and make better choices  :grin:
They can lead the family and household... after we set up who is in the household LOL

[Amelia Bedelia]

and Trav.....  you're a nut     

[apsurf]

well, a girl doesn't have to make a blatent first move.  It could be at church or a fellowship meeting...where a group is going to braums, or pizza place , etc... and she just asks the guy are you going to join us?  You know a few times of that or something similar...he might get the hint to at least consider it...

[RainbowJingles]

well, a girl doesn't have to make a blatent first move.  It could be at church or a fellowship meeting...where a group is going to braums, or pizza place , etc... and she just asks the guy are you going to join us?  You know a few times of that or something similar...he might get the hint to at least consider it...

In my experience, most guys don't get hints.


And yes, AB, I did see that thread.  lol

And Nai: I don't have a mother-in-law to tell me what to do!   
Somehow, that suggestion just defies logic.  lol
Listen to your mother-IN-LAW and she'll tell you how to find a husband...   

[Amelia Bedelia]

well, a girl doesn't have to make a blatent first move.  It could be at church or a fellowship meeting...where a group is going to braums, or pizza place , etc... and she just asks the guy are you going to join us?  You know a few times of that or something similar...he might get the hint to at least consider it...

see what happens there is the girl makes all the first moves, being extra friendly to him, encouraging him that there is interest, inviting him to stuff, making it easy for him... she's working hard! and then if he ever reciprocates he'll think he came up with the idea and that he made the first move and take the credit for it! (not that it matters, as long as she finally snags him)

I think girls make the first moves all the time, just the guys don't realize what is being done 

And then some of us are really blatant, aggressive and straightforward and then we scare guys...
oh well if I'm gonna scare him I'd rather find that out at the beginning 
can't be a chicken and be with me 

[Scott]

THREAD LOCKED.














just kidding.hahaha. always wanted to do that.

No kidding, we all want to do that..... 

[newkris]

why don't you just be yourself?  if you're shy, be shy and allow God to set someone in your path?  don't you think He can?  if you're outgoing, be friendly.  don't you think God can help you keep from making the wrong impressions? 

why not . . just live your life and be yourself and be happy at each leg of the journey? 

the scripture in Isaiah that says, "they that WAIT upon the Lord shall renew their strength"?  that WAIT means to get tangled up in, involved with, actively doing something . . .so what if while you WAIT upon your spouse you are tangled up in life, involved with life, actively living? 

i think you would be surprised at what you'd find.

but that's only my opinion, for what it's worth.