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Friendships - age limits?

Started by SippinTea, January 19, 2011, 06:05:09 AM

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SippinTea

January 19, 2011, 06:05:09 AM
I was inspired by Tricia's FB status from today (and the ensuing comments) to start a thread regarding friendships and age limits.

Are most of your friends near your age?
Do you have friends younger than you?
Older than you?
Much older than you?

I'm not meaning friends in the sense of "I know these people". I'm meaning friends in the sense of quite close friends.

If you think there are age limits on your friendships, what are the factors the limit them?
Circumstance?
Choice?
Common interests and/or lack of common interests?

:beret:
"Going somewhere means leaving somewhere. Choosing something means choosing against other things. Gaining something means losing something else. And between the old and new--the 'was' and the 'not yet'--there exists only one thing: a very frightening journey called faith."
--taken from the book Coming Up For Air

SippinTea

#1
January 19, 2011, 06:24:58 AM
I think I'm spread out pretty evenly as far as age brackets go.

I've almost always had good friends that were younger than me. They seem to think I'm a leader, and that can be both flattering and a bit annoying at the same time. ;) But I've also found that even in situations where I was (theoretically) the leader/teacher, I've learned a great deal from people younger than me. Some of my friends that are considerably younger than I am have put a whole new twist on life and the way I view things.

I've also almost always had friends older than me. Often, MUCH older than me. Currently I have very good friends that are 30, 40, even 60 years older than me. Some people think that's odd. I think it's normal. :) I like it when they share their wisdom from down the road a ways. Sometimes I can feel so stupid about trying to make life decisions with the limited info and knowledge I have. I really appreciate gaining wisdom from someone much further down the road of life. I also appreciate when they trade views on things, and are genuinely interested in the view from my side of the world. Age really does have a lot to do with your view of things, and it's nice when we can learn from each other.

As far as WHY I have friends in various age brackets...
I've purposely tried to pursue that. I LIKE have friends that are different than me.

I LIKE having friends younger than me, because they remind me to lighten up, to have fun and relax now and then, to concentrate for a while on the day and the people in front of me.

I LIKE having friends older than me, because I can learn so much from them, and because they remind me of the things that truly matter in life (since they've lived long enough to figure out what things really don't matter). And because they remind me to weigh today's choices in light of the future.

:beret:
"Going somewhere means leaving somewhere. Choosing something means choosing against other things. Gaining something means losing something else. And between the old and new--the 'was' and the 'not yet'--there exists only one thing: a very frightening journey called faith."
--taken from the book Coming Up For Air

MelodyB

#2
January 19, 2011, 06:47:11 AM
Ditto. Word for word.

Naturally. ;)
Have you slapped that one dude from Indiana with a pie in the face today?
 

Scott

#3
January 19, 2011, 08:02:52 AM
My friends simply depend on how much money I have and which friends I can afford.
"I find your lack of faith disturbing." (Vader)

People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf (Orwell and Churchhill)


The Never Ending Battle

Lynx

#4
January 19, 2011, 01:29:18 PM
My grandmother is over 75.  Our youth pastor's son, Tucker, is 8.  They have struck up a friendship because they are both into painting, sketching, drawing, etc.  Go figure.
"Do you sing at church?"
"Yes I sing at church, I sing at home, at work, in the car, at the supermarket, at Wal-Mart..."
:sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing:

Roscoe

#5
January 19, 2011, 03:01:05 PM
 No age limits on friendships here. My hobbies are somewhat varied- shooting guns, old cars, motorcyles, ect. As a result, my friendships are too, as each activity draws the attention of different age groups. My shooting buddies are typically younger, often cops. My "biker friends" are usually middle aged,( and have been known to scare the elderly). My antique car friends run the list from teenagers to nearly 90.
I guess it's mostly common interests that draws me to my friends. One of my close friends is a retired cop, in his 60s. I can talk about cop work around him and he understands all of the stress because he's been there. He also is a car nut- he's got a sweet '46 Merc I'm scheming to acquire and I recently assisted him in locating a Corvette that he bought. And on top of all of that, he likes to cook, and we swap receipes frequently.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I've made several friends in their late teens, early twenties, that are into car shows and swap meets and we hang out occasionally. They look nothing like the good kids that they actually are- tatoos, tongue peircings, holes bored through their ears. :o  Sometimes, I have to remind myself not to judge based on someone's appearance.

I've been best friends with one of my biker friends since before we were into bikes. He's ten years older than I, but knows things about me no other living soul does. He's the friend I can count on to come help me hide any bodies.  :biglaugh:

And my best friend in the world, the One that has always been there for me- well, He's older than dirt, literally. We talk daily, and He's laid down His life for me, despite my many failings. And that's why I serve Him and love Him so. :thumbsup2:
Potstirrer and snoop extraordinaire   "I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world."- Thomas Edison

Melody

#6
January 19, 2011, 05:58:10 PM
Actual "close friends" I have is a small cluster. They are around or older than me.  I do not have any teenage close friends. There are a couple of kids around my kids' age that have a special place in my heart and I guess I would consider them a friend.  I'm not sure what defines a friend when it comes to kids, I may tend to see them from a parental perspective more often than not, even before I was a parent, but that is changing as God is teaching me to be a better parent if that makes any sense?  As Andrew aproaches his teen years, I forsee some of my kids' friends becoming like part of our family and thus my friend, even if it's down the road when they're grown. 

Amelia Bedelia

#7
January 19, 2011, 06:38:26 PM
I have mostly my age to much older friends... Can't think of any significantly younger friends - teenagers generally annoy me and I thankfully have few interactions with them and kids are well, kids and its more of an aunt/parental relationship

sunlight

#8
January 19, 2011, 11:12:58 PM
my favorite friends all my life have either been way younger, or way older. I am very awkward with my own age group. :grin: not that i mind.... It's just obvious that my priorities and theirs are usually very different.
  :attackhug: Be full of hugs!

Lynx

#9
January 19, 2011, 11:27:37 PM
Quote from: sunlight on January 19, 2011, 11:12:58 PM
my favorite friends all my life have either been way younger, or way older. I am very awkward with my own age group. :grin: not that i mind.... It's just obvious that my priorities and theirs are usually very different.
Awkward my adam's apple!  If you are, you sure don't show it.

Personally I always preferred to hang out with people older.  They know more and their perspective on life is (in general) more balanced.
"Do you sing at church?"
"Yes I sing at church, I sing at home, at work, in the car, at the supermarket, at Wal-Mart..."
:sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing:

taco_harvell

#10
January 20, 2011, 03:00:31 AM
This thread has made me think about myself and my friends a lot. I have a few friends around my on age that I have known most of my life. I have a few friends online around my own age that I have known several of them for a very long time.

I have many friends who are way younger than me including my little buddy who is 2. I like being around the younger friends sometimes because it makes me more thankful for being past my teens and early twenties. lol

My closest friends though the ones who would refer to me as there best friend and usually me to them the same way are almost all at least 10 years older than me. Had a long time friend recently accuse me of lying because he thought I was in my mid forties like he was and not in my early thirties. Several times i have been called an "old soul" by people who just think I am much older than my real age.

So, I guess my friends cover the entire spectrum of ages but my closest friends are usually older than me. Not sure why that is.
In love with RainbowJingles

http://lessonsintrust.blogspot.com/

The Purple Fuzzy

#11
January 20, 2011, 03:59:59 AM
I don't really have any friends unless you count my family. :smirk:

Roscoe

#12
January 20, 2011, 04:03:13 AM
Quote from: The Purple Fuzzy on January 20, 2011, 03:59:59 AM
I don't really have any friends unless you count my family. :smirk:
I guess we're family then. I've decided I'm gonna adopt you as another Mom. :biglaugh: Maybe that'll get me baked goodies. :laughhard:

:cophat:
Potstirrer and snoop extraordinaire   "I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world."- Thomas Edison

Lynx

#13
January 20, 2011, 04:06:24 AM
Fer sure, she does some good cooking.  Her husband barbecues, her youngest daughter bakes stuff and her eldest daughter knows all the local places to get good produce.  That was a yummy visit, almost like being back home with my family.  I think there's something in my family's by-laws that says you have to be a good cook to be a member.
"Do you sing at church?"
"Yes I sing at church, I sing at home, at work, in the car, at the supermarket, at Wal-Mart..."
:sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing:

SippinTea

#14
January 20, 2011, 04:52:08 AM
Quote from: The Purple Fuzzy on January 20, 2011, 03:59:59 AM
I don't really have any friends unless you count my family. :smirk:

:o

*hopes she's been officially adopted*

:beret:
"Going somewhere means leaving somewhere. Choosing something means choosing against other things. Gaining something means losing something else. And between the old and new--the 'was' and the 'not yet'--there exists only one thing: a very frightening journey called faith."
--taken from the book Coming Up For Air

The Purple Fuzzy

#15
January 20, 2011, 04:53:25 AM
Well, I have cyber friends. :P

Lynx

#16
January 20, 2011, 04:58:56 AM
No close friend at church?  Work?  Even guys need a close friend to talk to sometimes, someone outside the family, who is probably not connected to whatever is going on.

Well... some guys anyway.  The rest of the guys just hold it in and be macho, then go crazy years later from all the stress. 
"Do you sing at church?"
"Yes I sing at church, I sing at home, at work, in the car, at the supermarket, at Wal-Mart..."
:sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing:

upcchris

#17
January 21, 2011, 01:45:49 AM Last Edit: January 21, 2011, 01:49:17 AM by upcchris
Quote from: Psalm_97 on January 20, 2011, 04:58:56 AM
No close friend at church?  Work?  Even guys need a close friend to talk to sometimes, someone outside the family, who is probably not connected to whatever is going on.

Well... some guys anyway.  The rest of the guys just hold it in and be macho, then go crazy years later from all the stress.

Interesting you should mention that - I'm reading He-motions by T.D Jakes - only up to Ch 2 thus far, but he mentions things along those lines.

On the friends side....I used to only be able to make friends with people a lot older or a lot younger than me....my parents kept telling me I needed to make friends with people my own age....but I just didn't relate that well to kids my own age back then...I read constantly and as a result my vocabbulary was much larger that that of my peers. I couldn't find anyone my age who was a fellow bibliophile. Mind you....I can't really remember finding anyone who was a fellow bibliophile.

I did run the risk of encountering adults who thought 'how cute - she's trying to use big words', which was, needless to say, irritating.

As far as recent times go....younger and older again...but closer in age...maybe a few years older or younger...at the most 20.
Television is proof the people will look at anything rather than eachother

Life would be so much easier without hormones

Of all God's creations, humans are the only ones with enough imagination to be bored

Humans are fallible, and they unreasonably expect everyone else not to be

Tina~Chris

sunlight

#18
January 21, 2011, 07:38:20 PM
that's great!
  :attackhug: Be full of hugs!

Nelle

#19
January 23, 2011, 02:01:44 AM
My truly CLOSE friends are around my age. I have friends that I hang out with in an array of ages, tho. :)

MsJennJenn

#20
January 24, 2011, 03:08:41 PM
Quote from: sunlight on January 19, 2011, 11:12:58 PM
my favorite friends all my life have either been way younger, or way older. I am very awkward with my own age group. :grin: not that i mind.... It's just obvious that my priorities and theirs are usually very different.

gee thanks Chellay! lol I am your age! :sadbounce:
 "When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower."
-Alexander Den Heijer-
"When I wait, you strengthen my heart."
-Psalms 27:14-
:shine:

YooperYankDude

#21
January 24, 2011, 03:29:23 PM
Quote from: The Purple Fuzzy on January 20, 2011, 03:59:59 AM
I don't really have any friends unless you count my family. :smirk:

I know I got adopted by other members of you immediate family... Were you still in the market for a Yankee to adopt??  Or did that take place already, and I missed the memo... :P

YooperYankDude

#22
January 24, 2011, 03:37:29 PM
Quote from: upcchris on January 21, 2011, 01:45:49 AM
I read constantly and as a result my vocabbulary was much larger that that of my peers. I couldn't find anyone my age who was a fellow bibliophile. Mind you....I can't really remember finding anyone who was a fellow bibliophile.

I did run the risk of encountering adults who thought 'how cute - she's trying to use big words', which was, needless to say, irritating.
Haha... yay, I am not alone! Of course when the books weren't enough, there is always the dictionary and thesaurus... and with the invention of those two into a .com website... it is even more spectactular!

Sorry I didn't meet you when I was 9 yrs old...  :sadbounce:

I still get told that I am ambitious with my wording, but they don't use the word "cute" (in fact, they never did... lol)... more along the lines of getting annoyed because they don't know the meaning of the word... All except  Adina... she knows the meaning of every word known to humanity... in English, Spanish, and I think soon Chinese or Japanese....  :P

upcchris

#23
January 25, 2011, 01:53:38 AM
thank you, my fellow bibliophile :clap: :great:


I'm sorry too ...although I think I would've been scared of you when I was 9....I was pretty much scared of everyone then...and that wouldn't really change until I was in my twenties and got delivered from that....lol wow she sounds like a walking multi-lingual dictionary! Awesome!
Television is proof the people will look at anything rather than eachother

Life would be so much easier without hormones

Of all God's creations, humans are the only ones with enough imagination to be bored

Humans are fallible, and they unreasonably expect everyone else not to be

Tina~Chris

Tricia Lea

#24
January 25, 2011, 02:13:55 AM
Well..

I don't intentionally pick friends based on age but I tend to relate to people older than me and thus have mostly older friends. As for close friends I have few but those are generally older.
I have made some younger friends since going to school
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