Should a guy actually ask a girl to date him?

[Sis]

Sis gives RJ a cracker with sugar free preserves on it. Strawberry.

[RainbowJingles]

Can't do sugar-free, Sis.  lol  Just a plain cracker would be fine.  Or maybe just a plain strawberry! 

[Sis]

Can't do sugar-free, Sis.  lol  Just a plain cracker would be fine.  Or maybe just a plain strawberry! 

How come?  It's not with any artificial sweetner, just made without sugar. The natural sugars from the strawberries was enough. It's good and tastes fresher.

[RainbowJingles]

Now THAT sounds PERFECT!!!  Sign me up like YESTERDAY!!!!!!!

[BeccaBoo]

[SippinTea]

*Hugs* Elona because she's wonderful.

[Amelia Bedelia]

Good post Elona... however I think one can avoid such confusion without being pushy and having such a conversation - conversations like that just make a guy feel like he's out of control and makes the chick come across pushy or needy

You gotta keep it light and encourage him to the next level
clarification questions like: "So is this a date or should I bring my wallet?" make it jokey... but you'll get an answer and he has to acknowledge the signals being sent by him

this is the oldest and stupidest rule in the book but it has been there for generations for a reason.... don't say yes everytime....

if he's not clarifying where he stands then let him know you're seeing other guys or at least busy... but not confrontationally... just when he asks, pause and go through your calendar mentally or for real and talk to yourself aloud... mutter things like: I think that was the night <insert male name here> (even if its your cousin) asked me to accompany him to <mutter unintelligble event and quickly say louder or was that the next week... or no that was <insert another male name here> (even if its your grandfather)  then louder say back to him: ya know, I'm not sure let me check the dates and get back to you

Lets him know he'll have to make his intentions a littler clearer if he hopes to mean something in your life.  You want a guy that thinks you're worth working a little harder for anyway.  Its not playing hard to get, its called not putting all your eggs in one basket, don't clear open your schedule and life for a guy that isn't clear what he's going to do with it.

And say its progressing but hits a rut and gets stale... there are non-pushy ways to nicely and casually encourage him to evaluate the relationship and make a move one way or another.

One guy I was seeing... non-exclusively, and we clarified that status many times (LOL, communication was and still is rather incredible between us) it was naturally becoming more and more exclusive and we even had deposits down on neighboring apartment units and generally getting closer in a lot of regards.... anyway, was to that "go or get off the pot" point... he never told his mom about me so I casually asked one day what it would take for a girl to exist to his mother... and he gave some vague answer that fit our relationship at the moment and I laughed and teasing him said "so tell me about the girl you've been doing all that with" and we laughed and kissed and moved on to discussing other subjects... not pushy or confrontational... but awakened a realization in him that he had a responsibility and that I wasn't going to hang out on a backburner forever.  He broke it off a few weeks later cause he realized it was at that point and if he couldn't take it further then he shouldn't waste our time.  It hurt sure but in the end no hard feelings and no confusion.

A no might be harsh but is much better than a maybe that strings along forever
if a relationship is stuck in a stalemale... stick up for yourself... don't sacrifice your mental and emotional wellbeing - if you're not comfortable enough with him to find a way to clarify things... maybe thats telling enough, as how could you expect to communicate later in a relationship?

However, I admit I'm attracted to guys that know what they want... so usually that includes being able to verbalize intentions...  but I think even for guys that don't know... they only figure it out by not being with you and watching you from a distance

[Amelia Bedelia]

My hair gets a reddish/orange tint if the sun shines on it just right...

Vince, wanna go out for an evening in grand ol' NYC?  Maybe sometime around New Years?   

[RainbowJingles]

Good post Elona... however I think one can avoid such confusion without being pushy and having such a conversation - conversations like that just make a guy feel like he's out of control and makes the chick come across pushy or needy

lol  That conversation was a purely hypothetical/silly one.  :-)  Very much hyperbolic.  Sort of like the one Dave Barry wrote some time ago, titled, "She Drives for a Relationship. He's Lost in the Transmission".

Contrary to what many women believe, it's fairly easy to develop a longterm, stable, intimate, and mutually fulfilling relationship with a guy. Of course, this guy has to be a Labrador retriever. With human guys, it's extremely difficult. This is because guys don't really grasp what women mean by the term "relationship."

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later, he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud; "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

See this link for the full article: http://www.skrovan.com/joe/html/driving.html
I found it to be quite funny.  :-)

[World Traveler]

YEAH!!!!

Wooo hooo!

Ok, calm down. Ha ha.

(checks his calendar since he is a guy who knows what he wants)...

I will know after next week if I am making it to NYC this year. I have an appointment next week that will determine my Christmas break plans. I will be able to give a solid answer after that.

Oh, and you won't have to bring your wallet. :-)

[SippinTea]

*watches for Mary to show up*

[MelodyB]

Wow.

[iridiscente]

Is that all she should leave at home?

[World Traveler]

Well, it is NYC. So she better bring her pepper spray or mace. Not for use against me, of course. 

[Sis]

Been there many times. Never needed pepper spray. 

[Newsman]

But, never with WT, Lady Sis!

Actually, she'd be safe with him.


John 

[Sis]

OOOHHH Would need the pepper spray FOR wt?  I get it!

[World Traveler]

<~~~ sweet and innocent. Wouldn't need protection from me. :-)

[Sis]

<~~~ sweet and innocent. Wouldn't need protection from me. :-)

   

[RainbowJingles]

My hair gets a reddish/orange tint if the sun shines on it just right...

Vince, wanna go out for an evening in grand ol' NYC?  Maybe sometime around New Years?  

Okay...  the press will correct me if I'm wrong, BUT...



Miss Mary just ed this thread about a guy asking a girl out.

The new topic that she brought up?
Her hair color.

The question she *cough* proposed?
Would WorldTraveler like to have a New Year's date in NYC? (presumably with her)

The problem with this?
The hair color that WT loves so much would likely not even show up in the lack of light that is generally present (or absent, depending on your propensity for grammatical twists) for New Years' dates.

The issue?
This thread is officially
Who is at fault?
TBD

The original topic?
Should a guy ask a girl out?

The new topic?
Should a girl ask a guy out?!?!!??!?!?!



Really, AB!  Of all the ways to   At least you coulda been remotely on topic, but you done totally turned this one upsideDOWN!  Everyone knows that you don't ask a guy out in the "Should a guy actually ask a girl to date him" thread!

[Sis]

RJ?   You goin' over to the dark side?   Just for the cookies?

[World Traveler]

Really, AB!  Of all the ways to   At least you coulda been remotely on topic, but you done totally turned this one upsideDOWN!  Everyone knows that you don't ask a guy out in the "Should a guy actually ask a girl to date him" thread!

I'm not complaining. :-D

[RainbowJingles]

RJ?   You goin' over to the dark side?   Just for the cookies?

Ummm...  dunno, Sis.  What flavor are they!?!?!?! 

[Sis]

Well, if I know the dark side, it's chocolate chip. FRESH! Warm!

[iridiscente]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!