Assuming you are open to the idea of someday getting married....
What traits/characteristics are the most important to you when thinking of a (futuristic) spouse?
AND...
What traits/characteristics do you think YOU most need to work on to become the right person for them? :)
:beret:
BOL I've answered the first question so many times and each time the list gets longer, until I finally decided: God knows me better than I know myself, whoever He provides is gonna be the perfect match...that and I can't be bothered typing it all out again. :-?
The second question is more interesting, and, I think, more relevant...and...in my case....would result in an ever bigger list. :oops:
The most important is the obvious "God first" item. Someone who puts God absolutely FIRST in everything and every aspect of his life, from his career and church work to his family, friends, and even day-to-day "small" choices.
At the top of my personal list of what I pray God sees fit to give me in a man is a good sense of humor - the kind that laughs WITH people, not AT them (I don't think much can make me upset faster than someone who feels the need to put others down in order to get laughs, or to feel superior themselves; do NOT get me started!).
For me: *sigh* I apparently have a lot to work on, and God has been merciful enough to show me some of them one at a time while giving me the tools to help work on them.
I can only pray that God will send someone who is a bit ahead of me on some things, who will help me grow... someone who can encourage me in my growth... someone who will grow WITH me.
Nicely put, Elona. Nicely put. :)
:beret:
*curtsies*
Thank ye, missy.
:chairspin:
Quote from: RainbowJingles on March 26, 2010, 08:19:26 AM
The most important is the obvious "God first" item. Someone who puts God absolutely FIRST in everything and every aspect of his life, from his career and church work to his family, friends, and even day-to-day "small" choices.
At the top of my personal list of what I pray God sees fit to give me in a man is a good sense of humor - the kind that laughs WITH people, not AT them (I don't think much can make me upset faster than someone who feels the need to put others down in order to get laughs, or to feel superior themselves; do NOT get me started!).
For me: *sigh* I apparently have a lot to work on, and God has been merciful enough to show me some of them one at a time while giving me the tools to help work on them.
I can only pray that God will send someone who is a bit ahead of me on some things, who will help me grow... someone who can encourage me in my growth... someone who will grow WITH me.
I agree!!
I agree completely with RainbowJingles...someone who puts God first even in small matters and someone who can help you grow in God also. But for me, its also important that a guy actually has life goals. I know we don't have to have the best of everything and thats perfectly fine with me. I hope i'm not wrong in this, but if i've gone to college like 6 or 8 years of my life to become something and have a pretty good job, I wouldn't really be satisfied with a partner that was ok with working temporary from job to job. And i'm not necessarily ONLY talking about job situations thats just an example. Is that wrong to look at it like that?
Let me re-phrase the question before I answer it. :-)
Is it wrong to want someone who is on the same page as you intellectually and spiritually and emotionally? Nope.
You want someone who has a brain and knows how to use it. If you know how to use your brain and he doesn't, then he won't be able to lead you the way God wants him to.
If a lady can't respect her man, she shouldn't be marrying him.
*end rant*
I'm looking for a woman who has the right mix of personality and intelligence and traits and whatever else to make me fall head over heels in love. That mix is not constant but can vary (yet be just as potent) from one woman to another.
I'd like to be this perfect guy before I get married but I'm starting to think it doesn't happen that way. If she can love me and I her in spite of our humanity then I think that's a great place to start.
What traits/characteristics are the most important to you when thinking of a (futuristic) spouse?
Must love God more than he loves me. A worshipper- he HAS to be bold enough to shake it down in church.
Must have a respect for my pastor- who would probably be cleaning his gun when you come to meet him... [my pastor is super protective of me]... And his own pastor.
I eat sleep and breathe ministry. So... I have to have someone who greatly respects the advice and warnings of a pastor.
Hmmm... He's GOTTTTTTTA love kids. I've been 13+years in the children's ministry. And don't be surprised if you don't catch me making you balloon animals and pipe cleaner glasses on our first date. I have tons of requirements.... but my list has dwindled down over the years, since I know I am not perfect. ;)
AND...
What traits/characteristics do you think YOU most need to work on to become the right person for them?
I am sarcastic, and I have guy friends. I have a hard time separating friends from family, and most men I meet
have a problem with me having so many guy friends.
him-someone who loves God first and foremost. who is forgiving. sense of humor. someone who is alright with the fact i'm divorced [it seems to be an issue with just about every guy i've met]. can get along with my family. who doesn't try to change me, but it compatable with me. who has a job [also an issue around these parts]. who isn't a puppy-kicker.
me-oh boy. i need alot of work on myself. the top of the list is forgiving myself for things and learning to trust people.
I am already married, but here were the traits I looked for and found
(As a Christian and minister there are obvious traits / requirements that do not require repeating.)
1.) Accept me as me.
Not what you want me to be, not some ideal out of a book, a movie or a dream. I am not a clone, I am not Rhett Butler, nor Fabio, nor that cool smooth talking dude in the romance book.
I come from a family of hillbilly rednecks, I will say y'all and yonder from time to time. I don't say ''hi'' too often, chances are I will say ''hey'' instead.
There will be guns in the house
I do stutter from time to time, not bad, but I do.
In the winter time, I will pull into an empty parking lot from time to time - simply to spin donuts - no matter who is in the car.
I collect comic books
I like sports
When I read, it might be a mystery, a western, a sci fi, a religious book or whatever looks interesting at the library.
I am not fan of country music or rap, if she is, use earphones.
If this is unacceptable, move on to the next guy.
2.) I like humor - deal with it. Not all the jokes will be good, some will be bad and sometimes the puns will make you cry. Again: If this is unacceptable, move on to the next guy!
As far as ''working on'' - accept your spouse for who he / she is and they need to accept you as you are. When you get married you will make changes and those changes will come naturally.
:great:
:beret:
not real picky just would be
#1 dont try to "change" me. love me or dont.
#2 be yourself, not what you think i want you to be.
#3 if you say it, do it.
and would be the same for me.
*rWooby does this: :great: again*
:beret:
Here are the basics for finding your life companion.
1.) Someone you get along with
2.) You can accept each other as you are
3.) You must be able to get along with their family.
Don't worry about the rest.. Don't make it too hard, don't over analyze it.
Quote from: Scott on July 07, 2010, 12:07:10 AM
Here are the basics for finding your life companion.
1.) Someone you get along with
2.) You can accept each other as you are
3.) You must be able to get along with their family.
Don't worry about the rest.. Don't make it too hard, don't over analyze it.
actually i disagree with #3 lol just dont move near their family if you cant get along with them lol for either party
The majority of the married people I know would still be single if they had followed #3. :smirk2:
:beret:
#3 is what my dad insisted was the most important thing. He said if you cannot get along with your spouses family, do not marry.
Quote from: SippinTea on July 07, 2010, 12:48:05 AM
The majority of the married people I know would still be single if they had followed #3. :smirk2:
:beret:
Perhaps they should have!
I do not believe that inter family negative relationships are good for a marriage.
Quote from: Scott on July 07, 2010, 01:32:27 AM
Quote from: SippinTea on July 07, 2010, 12:48:05 AM
The majority of the married people I know would still be single if they had followed #3. :smirk2:
:beret:
Perhaps they should have!
I do not believe that inter family negative relationships are good for a marriage.
i dont either, but i will say that way too much of the time said families should mind their own business and let the couple have their own life. that is one of the biggest stress in a marriage is family meddling. i really think there was a very good reason God said, a man should leave his family and cleave to his wife. IMHO :twocents:
I work with a guy whose life is so stressed out by his mom and dad in law along with his sister in law. They all want to run his life.
I watched one lady pushed away by her mom in law to the point where she left her husband
As for me, I met my in laws before I met my wife. I was friends with them before I knew she existed.
Quote from: Scott on July 07, 2010, 01:32:27 AM
I do not believe that inter family negative relationships are good for a marriage.
I definitely agree with you there!
But... in your opinion...
Does "getting along" with family mean that all members of said family approve of the person and/or marriage? or just that all (or most) of the family is at least civil and polite to the couple? or that they can have fun and enjoy being with the couple in question?
:beret:
In my experience--I like my inlaws but I don't agree with a lot of things they do and they don't understand our need to be involved in church. We are civil and polite to each other and have gotten to the point where we DO have fun together. I don't think they would have picked me out for their son. It made for a tense few years but when they realized Im good to him and I wasn't going anywhere it got better.
/me thinks that a new thread needs to be started on the importance of families in laws- or their role in marriages...
Quote from: SippinTea on July 07, 2010, 03:01:58 AM
Quote from: Scott on July 07, 2010, 01:32:27 AM
I do not believe that inter family negative relationships are good for a marriage.
I definitely agree with you there!
But... in your opinion...
Does "getting along" with family mean that all members of said family approve of the person and/or marriage? or just that all (or most) of the family is at least civil and polite to the couple? or that they can have fun and enjoy being with the couple in question?
:beret:
The parents on both sides should agree with the marriage, it does make life easier. I asked my father in law for his permission to marry my wife. He gave it with pleasure. Her Pastor was a friend of mine and I even asked his blessings.
You should be able to get along with as much of the family as possible. It is not always easy to do, my sister doesn't try to get along with many people and it makes it difficult at times.
There are people in my wife's family that I am closer to than she is, some of her cousins kids thought I was the cousin and she was the in law. :freaky2:
My dad loved Stevebert. He thought Stevebert straightened me out by dragging me to church. (I dragged him kicking and screaming. My daughter was the first one to go)
His mother didn't like me totally. She was nice to my face but she thought I was responsible for taking him from the one, true, Catholic church.
So my dad thought church was Stevebert's idea, and his mother thought church was my idea. LOL
My dad learned first hand that it is important to get along with the in-laws.
My dad's mother and youngest sister were always rude to my mother, the rest of the family loved her to death and still keep in contact with her even 15 years after his death.
My dad on the other hand was embraced, adopted and loved by his in laws. He was overwhelmed.
I cannot stand it when people bad talk their in laws, complain about them and discuss the friction.
My wife's parents and I get along great. I love it when my mother in law comes to visit, she cooks, cleans, does laundry, mends clothing and I sit back and enjoy!
My father in law and I (both are ministers) can sit down for hours on end and keep each other laughing or preach at each other.
My wife's nieces insist on having my cell number and from time to time will send me text messages.
That's nice, Scott. I can't help but think you may be the exception to the norm, though.
Quote from: The Purple Fuzzy on July 07, 2010, 07:59:15 PM
That's nice, Scott. I can't help but think you may be the exception to the norm, though.
Indeed.
And I've seen both sides of the in-law issue firsthand... both the completely accepting and loving side, and the "we don't like you and we'll even make up lies about you to spread around" side.
I know which one we'd all prefer, but unfortunately, life isn't perfect and ideal like the picture in our heads. *sigh*
:beret:
I hope my Mother in Law... whoever she ends up being, is like Scott's... lol. Most mom's love me... just getting the daughters to realize they love me is the issue... ahh, but that is another topic... not to be discussed! LOL!
MIL's get a bad rap a lot of times, but a lot of them earn it by not being nice, I know I have seen how my mom and step-dad treat some of the new additions to the family, and if that happened... I would not be going to family functions, and the same with my Bio-dad and step-mom at their family functions... seems like all sides of my family are poisonous, and I honestly hope my wifes family... again... whoever she ends up being, is not like that. I would hate to have to avoid all family functions on her side as well!
Quote from: YooperYankDude on July 07, 2010, 09:53:33 PM
I hope my Mother in Law... whoever she ends up being, is like Scott's... lol. Most mom's love me... just getting the daughters to realize they love me is the issue... ahh, but that is another topic... to be discussed! LOL!
MIL's get a bad rap a lot of times, but a lot of them earn it by not being nice, I know I have seen how my mom and step-dad treat some of the new additions to the family, and if that happened... I would not be going to family functions, and the same with my Bio-dad and step-mom at their family functions... seems like all sides of my family are poisonous, and I honestly hope my wifes family... again... whoever she ends up being, is not like that. I would hate to have to avoid all family functions on her side as well!
Quote from: YooperYankDude on July 07, 2010, 09:53:33 PM
Most mom's love me... just getting the daughters to realize they love me is the issue... ahh, but that is another topic... not to be discussed! LOL!
Ooo... sounds like a great topic! Let's start a new thread.... :cool:
:beret:
Quote from: SippinTea on July 07, 2010, 10:36:37 PM
Quote from: YooperYankDude on July 07, 2010, 09:53:33 PM
Most mom's love me... just getting the daughters to realize they love me is the issue... ahh, but that is another topic... not to be discussed! LOL!
Ooo... sounds like a great topic! Let's start a new thread.... :cool:
:beret:
Ummm... maybe not! LOL!
Quote from: SippinTea on March 26, 2010, 01:28:40 AM
What traits/characteristics are the most important to you when thinking of a (futuristic) spouse?
I'm already married, but if I were looking for a futuristic spouse I think a flying car and robotic household servants would be at the top of my list.
I didnt realize until quite recently just how far up the list honesty was... total honesty.
Hmmm...
John :waving:
Quote from: sunlight on September 21, 2010, 07:32:58 AM
I didnt realize until quite recently just how far up the list honesty was... total honesty.
Quote from: The Purple Fuzzy on July 07, 2010, 07:59:15 PM
That's nice, Scott. I can't help but think you may be the exception to the norm, though.
My sister has not always been nice to my wife, but my mom just adores my wife as did my dad when he was alive. My grandparents thought the world of her... she and my grandmother used to talk about the piano and music a lot, and my wife would politely listen to my grandfather prattle on with stories the rest of us could quote from memory.
We are far from a perfect family, but we are a Pentecostal Family on both sides, we have many common interests and both of us are from a band of rednecks. My wife's family are northern back woods rednecks, while mine are ridge running, mountain dwelling, good old fashioned southern hillbilly red necks. It is amazing how much alike these groups are.
As far as it being rare, I disagree 100%; I know many people who have great in law relationships. I think that T.V. and Movies tell us that it is rare for the in laws to get along, it has been a running gag in the comic pages (i.e Dagwood was disowned for marrying Blondie, he was a rich kid who married a dancer).
I watch couples in my church who have parents attending the same church and I am impressed by the Mothers in law who go out to dinner with their daughters in law, go to ladies retreats with them and spend time together. The fathers in law who spends time with their sons in law in much the same way.
When I had surgery a couple of years ago, my mother and father in law and my wife's older brother were at the hospital with me for hours. My wife had to work and couldn't get off work to be there. No one thougth anything of it, because we are family and that is what family does.
Do we always get along? No, we have disagreements from time to time, but in the end when they realize that I am right, all is good! :laughhard: :laughhard:
Praying that is how it is when I find someone to marry... cause my family is whacked... it would be nice if we could at least get along with hers! LOL!
Quote from: YooperYankDude on September 21, 2010, 08:31:19 PM
Praying that is how it is when I find someone to marry... cause my family is whacked... it would be nice if we could at least get along with hers! LOL!
I stand by my belief that if you cannot stand your potential spouses family, run!
My family is nuts too, I have family members that my wife and kids have only briefly met at funerals for just a few moments.
Ex Cons, Biker gang girlfriend, dope dealer, welfare cheats, moonshiners, and those are the good ones.
Quote from: Scott on September 21, 2010, 08:59:16 PM
I stand by my belief that if you cannot stand your potential spouses family, run!
I will keep that in mind... but... do the in-laws change once you are actually married to their daughter? That is what I want to know... because before you marry her... depending on the family situation... her parents have A LOT of say and influence in the life of their daughter... once she is married... it all but evaporates... especially if she ends up moving to a far off land with her husband... lol
I've never had a problem with the in-laws..does that count? :hypocrite:
John :waving:
Quote from: YooperYankDude on September 22, 2010, 12:57:21 AM
Quote from: Scott on September 21, 2010, 08:59:16 PM
I stand by my belief that if you cannot stand your potential spouses family, run!
I will keep that in mind... but... do the in-laws change once you are actually married to their daughter? That is what I want to know... because before you marry her... depending on the family situation... her parents have A LOT of say and influence in the life of their daughter... once she is married... it all but evaporates... especially if she ends up moving to a far off land with her husband... lol
nope they didn't change...in fact my father in law and me together = two brats!
LOL... Good to know...
Quotemine are ridge running, mountain dwelling, good old fashioned southern hillbilly red necks.
I KNEW there was a reason I liked you, man! LOL
As long as my wife and I are the same sort of friends AFTER the fact as BEFORE, I'm all good.
Can't stand the 'gender war' thing. If a gal (OR fella!) has done drunk the Kool-Aid and buys into any of that garbage, RUN AWAY!! It's a marriage, not "the battle of the sexes"
Guys don't need a mommy and gals don't need a daddy. They had one of those already; if they treat each other that way, they ain't ready to get married.
It helps a marriage if you are friends prior to marriage!
Ahh, but some may think I am just making a funny, but I am amazed at the number of people who were not friends before getting married. Seriously, you need to spend time hanging out, going to zoos, plays, concerts, long drives, picnics, circus' or even amusement parks. Do none dating stuff, none romantic stuff.
Spend the day at a museum, go to a ball game, hit an arcade, play some pinball or pac-man. Spend some time on the play station or something fun. All dates do not have to be a romantic dinner a nice restaurant. You need to find time to connect
I remember one of the first dates my wife and went on. We spent the day at a Zoo, watching the bird show (hawk ate a live mouse, owl flew over our heads, whales and dolphins splashing and getting us wet), ate at dairy queen, watched and Imax show, drove around the country side then hit a local restaurant around 9pm. It was not that romantic, but we hung out, talked, told jokes and just acted like friends.
I see too many dating couples that don't do things like that. They go to church, talk on the phone, text, go to dennys after church and repeat the process. Then 2 years into the marriage, they find out that they don't really like each other.
My wife and I hung out a little while before we went out our first date. We did outreach together, knocked on doors, talked to people, played music at the church, played volleyball at church outings Then I asked her out and she had been waiting for me to get around to it.
Scott, you are my hero! Seriously!
I am a genuinely sweet person, so I generally get along with the in laws. But.... I've seen some difficult parents. lol.
And -MY- family is soooooooooo easy to get along with. I am not very close to my mom- though I love her to death... and my daddy died in 2005, so
the hard part of asking the father for his blessings is thrown out the window. lol. but my mom is a sweetheart to get along with, and my older sister
(my dad's daughter from another marriage) is more like a mom to me, and she is AWESOME!
Quote from: YooperYankDude on September 24, 2010, 01:07:29 AM
Scott, you are my hero! Seriously!
if that is the case, you have my pity!
:laughhard:
QuoteAnd -MY- family is soooooooooo easy to get along with.
I have a family member that is very hard to get along with, and this person has been very rude to my wife over the years. I cannot remember more than 10 or 15 times in the last 25 years that this individual has really tried to hold a conversation with my wife. This person also calls me simply to yell at me and cuss me out on a regular basis. So it is not an in law thing, it is that person's personality.
I can't imagine someone being so rude to someone I love. Now, my brother is a pain in the rump. But he isn't rude. He is just 40 years old and living at home. No job.
My momma raised 5 kids almost single-handedly. So she is not rich, but she sure instilled in me how to cook, clean, and take care of my hubby (whomever he might be)... lol...
The ideal woman would have to love the Lord with her whole heart., and fit the criteria listed in a ten page document full of pentecostal cliches. KIDDING. A woman should just be herself, not who she thinks a guy wants her to be. That would prevent a lot of problems in the marriage. You think you're marrying someone when in reality you fell for a facade. She can not commit to me with the idea that she is going to change me. I am what I am. :hypocrite: She is what she is. ;)
since this thread has come back up it reminded me of an article a friend's mom printed out for me the other day. I'll share it here with you guys and get your thoughts. I thought it interesting and probably quite true for some. I assured the mom that this wasn't what was wrong with me :smirk2: but that it did have interesting points I'd take into consideration. LOL
Some friends of mine have decided that this area in particular suffers from something they have dubbed FMS, Fear of Missing Something. Commitment-phobia is in the water.
__________________________________________
http://www.usatoday.com/news/opinion/editorials/2006-02-13-love-ipod_x.htm
Love (or not) in an iPod world
By Laura Vanderkam
You could never call me an early adopter. I just got an iPod this Christmas. Even if I'm late to the party, though, I adore the thing. Often I marvel that all the music I love is available at the touch of a button in a device smaller than a graham cracker. It fills me with peace and goodwill toward men; I spent much of the holidays on a family car trip, and so I plugged in my iPod whenever I wanted to tune out the inevitable noise six people in a van produce.
Yes, the toy made my Christmas merrier, but as we celebrate Valentine's Day, here's a less merry idea: Modern youth culture's love affair with the iPod may explain why this holiday will be lonelier for many people of my generation.
It's no secret that, when it comes to love, today's twentysomethings aren't settling down. The median age at first marriage is 25 for women and 27 for men, but among the college-educated, it's higher. Among urban twentysomethings, people sporting wedding rings seem rarer than young people walking around without iPod cords dangling down their necks. About a third of men and a quarter of women ages 30-34 have never tied the knot. That's 3 to 4 times the 1970s rate. There are more reasons for this than megabytes of space in my iPod, from economics to sexual freedom.
Dating goes digital
One of the biggies is that the modern approach to dating takes its cues from our digital music players. Marriage, on the other hand, is more like a car radio.
Your whims and checklists matter a lot less than your commitment to go with the flow. That sounds so old-fashioned. But when it comes to love, what's new isn't always better.
First, forget the stereotypes that men are responsible for the decline in marriage, or that modern young people think marriage is passé. Jillian Straus grilled 100 twenty- and thirtysomethings for her new book, Unhooked Generation: The Truth About Why We're Still Single.
"The thing I was most surprised about in my interviews was how eager men were for a long-term relationship," she says. "Of course, women were, too." What they shared was that they didn't know how to get there.
Her book documents why we're clueless. As I was reading, I realized she could have been talking about the reasons I love my iPod.
First, we live in a culture of infinite choice. With my Internet connection, I can have any song imaginable — early 1990s Indigo Girls to Renaissance motets — in my iPod in five minutes. Likewise, with 40 million singles using online dating sites, you could date someone new every night for the rest of your life.
Second, we believe it's all about us. On my iPod, I can arrange my playlists any way I want them. The fact that no one else on the planet enjoys both early '90s Indigo Girls songs and Renaissance motets is of no matter to me.
Likewise, Straus discovered that modern young people have long checklists of what they want in a mate. One man rattled off 25 "must-have" qualities, from being "ambitious" to "patient," from being a "team player" to having "the ability to be herself." Oh, and she needed to be sexy and like sports. After all, we can customize our playlists. Why not a spouse?
Third, we cherish our ability to skip to the next song. If a tune on your iPod bugs you, no worries. Just shuffle forward. Likewise, Straus kept hearing young people express a fear of "settling." If you get married, the next person you meet at a bar might be your soul mate. Better, we think, to keep that shuffle option open.
Too much choice
iPods make music lovers swoon. There's a problem with following their dictates, though, when it comes to finding a partner. Too much choice makes people less likely to commit. In a famous study, business professor Sheena Iyengar and social psychologist Mark Lepper had two displays of jams set up in a grocery store. One had six varieties, the other 24. The larger display lured more tasters, but people were 10 times as likely to buy jam from the smaller one.
No wonder U.S. album sales (which require committing to one artist) fell about 7% in 2005 — and fewer young people are willing to commit to a special someone.
Our checklists also make it harder to let ourselves love that special someone. "On iPods we have just what we want, but there's nothing surprising," says Scott Haltzman, co-author, with Theresa Foy DiGeronimo, of The Secrets of Happily Married Men. "You never get a 'Whoa! I haven't heard that song before.' "
When I was 24, I thought I'd marry an artsy type around my age after a multiyear courtship. I wound up saying "I do" 18 months after being swept off my feet by a business guy 10 years my senior. He feigned not knowing who James Joyce was when we met.
So what? Kindness and humor count for a lot more. As for shuffling, well, the fear of settling is based on the idea that demand for our company is infinite. Part of married happiness is realizing that your spouse is doing a lot more settling than you are. Even if I am the queen of my iPod.
Indeed, studies show that married people are happier than are singles. They're healthier, wealthier, and have more and better sex. "Marriage, like the car radio, is not as predictable, may not always have things in it that are to your tastes, but occasionally provides an experience that is deeper, more moving, and more exciting than anything you expected," says Haltzman.
There's great joy in listening to what the DJ chooses for you.
Laura Vanderkam is a member of USA TODAY's board of contributors.
______________________________________
So, is it general traits that draw you or do you have a checklist? Is there truly flexibility for a bad trait to be counterbalanced by a good one?
...
hmm, interesting...
I kind of agree with that article. It's so true in so many ways, that even us "twentysomethings" don't even see it, or we overlook it.
This past weekend we had a Young Adult (Twentysomethings) retreat we have here in our Texas District called Fuel, and Bro. Aaron Soto from Wisconsin was our speaker, and he made a statement about how people our age group "the twenty somethings" are afraid of committing to anything! He was like "It's SO hard to get groups of twenty something age group together to hang out".
But off that note - I have a list written out, and in my mind. But I've never used it, never have had the initial hello to even whip it out!! :sadbounce: Soon...and very soooooooooooon lol
I know Bro Soto! He's good!
So is comparing marriage to an ipod the same as comparing women to cars? :teeth:
I actually like the article..interesting
Quote from: TheGirl on October 31, 2010, 04:17:41 AM
So is comparing marriage to an ipod the same as comparing women to cars? :teeth:
I actually like the article..interesting
Haha! So if a guy buys a new car and a new iPod... is he a polygamist? Is it only iPods... or do iPhones count against us as well? :P
I would seem to think that iphone could count as well..but who am I? Face it Thomas..your married to your phone :) lol
*cough*
I'm not married to MY phone though...
*chokesputtercough*
Quote from: TheGirl on October 31, 2010, 05:15:07 AM
I would seem to think that iphone could count as well..but who am I? Face it Thomas..your married to your phone :) lol
Are you jealous?? :biglaugh:
:pound: :pound: :pound: :pound: :pound:
John/IBOB :waving:
Quote from: YooperYankDude on October 31, 2010, 06:04:59 AM
Quote from: TheGirl on October 31, 2010, 05:15:07 AM
I would seem to think that iphone could count as well..but who am I? Face it Thomas..your married to your phone :) lol
Are you jealous?? :biglaugh:
Quote from: YooperYankDude on October 31, 2010, 06:04:59 AM
Quote from: TheGirl on October 31, 2010, 05:15:07 AM
I would seem to think that iphone could count as well..but who am I? Face it Thomas..your married to your phone :) lol
Are you jealous?? :biglaugh:
I couldn't admit it in front of my dear John :)
:o
Quote from: TheGirl on November 05, 2010, 03:06:44 AM
Quote from: YooperYankDude on October 31, 2010, 06:04:59 AM
Are you jealous?? :biglaugh:
I couldn't admit it in front of my dear John :)
Awww... and now Dear John is jealous and pounding me... cause your jealous of my phone... Hmmm... :laughhard:
Grrrrr....
:laughhard:
John/IBOB :waving:
Mwahahahahaha! :laughhard:
I didn't say I was...I just said I couldnt admit it :) lol
no worries John :love:
Quote from: TheGirl on November 05, 2010, 07:33:05 PM
I didn't say I was...I just said I couldnt admit it :) lol
no worries John :love:
:sadbounce: ... that's not what you said on the phone last night... before you almost got me arrested... *I think John had sometime to do with that!!* :pound:
I didn't almost get you arrested
I bet John called the popo's on ya
Quote from: TheGirl on November 05, 2010, 07:39:56 PM
I didn't almost get you arrested
I bet John called the popo's on ya
:o :nono:
Did too! Next time call John to help you out of the mully-grubs! :hypocrite:
lol..but what would I do without your wonderful advise?
Oh..and as I recall...you called me :P
*snicker*
:beret:
Quote from: TheGirl on November 05, 2010, 11:46:43 PM
Oh..and as I recall...you called me :P
Yes I did... You are one of the top people on my list of patients... And you texted me when I was heading for a night of Canasta playing... So I needed to make sure you were ok... :hypocrite:
Quote from: SippinTea on November 06, 2010, 12:39:52 AM
*snicker*
:beret:
You shush! Lol
I am awfully thankful for my theapist lol
Quote from: TheGirl on November 06, 2010, 03:16:12 PM
I am awfully thankful for my theapist lol
You should be...! :P
And sorry ST... I need to reschedule your next session for next yr! :P
Thank you, Dear!
John/IBOB :waving:
Quote from: TheGirl on November 05, 2010, 07:33:05 PM
I didn't say I was...I just said I couldnt admit it :) lol
no worries John :love:
lol....
:sing: I only have eyes..for you :) lol
Awww...
:freaky2:
Quote from: TheGirl on November 10, 2010, 02:04:45 AM
lol....
:sing: I only have eyes..for you :) lol
Quote from: MsJennJenn on November 10, 2010, 09:38:35 PM
Quote from: Newsman on November 10, 2010, 08:44:57 PM
Awww...
:freaky2:
Quote from: TheGirl on November 10, 2010, 02:04:45 AM
lol....
:sing: I only have eyes..for you :) lol
Where is Five-Oh when you need him!! lol
:laughhard: Trust me Jenn- It has been seen and duelly noted. You'll probably see it again in the Investigation/trial thread if Cheesie will agree to be my prosecutor. :thumbsup2:
Quote from: five-oh on November 10, 2010, 11:53:23 PM
Quote from: MsJennJenn on November 10, 2010, 09:38:35 PM
Quote from: Newsman on November 10, 2010, 08:44:57 PM
Awww...
:freaky2:
Quote from: TheGirl on November 10, 2010, 02:04:45 AM
lol....
:sing: I only have eyes..for you :) lol
Where is Five-Oh when you need him!! lol
:laughhard: Trust me Jenn- It has been seen and duelly noted. You'll probably see it again in the Investigation/trial thread if Cheesie will agree to be my prosecutor. :thumbsup2:
oh mercy.. let me respond to this..
I want someone that can work for God, well with me..
I want someone with a heart for worship and to live for God and to help me, live for God better..
I want someone who is absolutley gorgious, but plain and simple..
I want someone who would compliment me and make me feel good about myself sometimes
oh.. and I want a really rich girl! (jk!!! lol)
:highfive: Lady Stacey!
Wonderful, Dear! :)
John :waving:
Quote from: TheGirl on November 14, 2010, 04:39:29 AM
Quote from: YooperYankDude on November 10, 2010, 09:52:53 PM
Quote from: TheGirl on November 10, 2010, 02:04:45 AM
lol....
:sing: I only have eyes..for you :) lol
OGG!
Now its my turn...are you jealous? :biglaugh:
Even if I was... I wouldn't admit or deny it on here! LOL :P My eyes are Brown... not green... :)
I dont understand ...your eye color is an issue with jealousy? lol
Quote from: TheGirl on November 14, 2010, 07:00:54 PM
I dont understand ...your eye color is an issue with jealousy? lol
My eyes are brown... not green with envy! LOL :P
Quote from: YooperYankDude on November 14, 2010, 07:07:48 PM
Quote from: TheGirl on November 14, 2010, 07:00:54 PM
I dont understand ...your eye color is an issue with jealousy? lol
My eyes are brown... not green with envy! LOL :P
Hmmm... brown, huh. That's because you're full of it. :laughhard:
Quote from: five-oh on November 14, 2010, 08:02:20 PM
Quote from: YooperYankDude on November 14, 2010, 07:07:48 PM
Quote from: TheGirl on November 14, 2010, 07:00:54 PM
I dont understand ...your eye color is an issue with jealousy? lol
My eyes are brown... not green with envy! LOL :P
Hmmm... brown, huh. That's because you're full of it. :laughhard:
:pound: 's BOB... :P
:sing: I can't smile without you....... :sing:
Quote from: TheGirl on November 10, 2010, 02:04:45 AM
lol....
:sing: I only have eyes..for you :) lol
Quote from: Newsman on November 14, 2010, 11:03:39 PM
:sing: I can't smile without you....... :sing:
Quote from: TheGirl on November 10, 2010, 02:04:45 AM
lol....
:sing: I only have eyes..for you :) lol
BOB! This is very beneficial... I didn't have to even resort to the normal Newsman (mis)quoting...
:noo: YUCK! You two need to get a room! :pound:
Well because Mr Newsguy put his on top, it looks like he started it! :goodmod:
Quote from: Sis on November 15, 2010, 12:57:15 AM
Well because Mr Newsguy put his on top, it looks like he started it! :goodmod:
:hypocrite: He did start it! *snicker*
Quote from: five-oh on November 14, 2010, 08:02:20 PM
Quote from: YooperYankDude on November 14, 2010, 07:07:48 PM
Quote from: TheGirl on November 14, 2010, 07:00:54 PM
I dont understand ...your eye color is an issue with jealousy? lol
My eyes are brown... not green with envy! LOL :P
Hmmm... brown, huh. That's because you're full of it. :laughhard:
Took the words out of my mouth..so to speak :)
Quote from: Newsman on November 14, 2010, 11:03:39 PM
:sing: I can't smile without you....... :sing:
Quote from: TheGirl on November 10, 2010, 02:04:45 AM
lol....
:sing: I only have eyes..for you :) lol
lol
Quote from: TheGirl on November 16, 2010, 12:10:34 AM
Took the words out of my mouth..so to speak :)
:pound: 's Dimples!
More later..feeling really strange in a not good way
Quote from: Newsman on November 21, 2010, 05:26:54 AM
More later..feeling really strange in a not good way
Praying for ya... hoping whatever it is goes away! :)
Thanks..feeling marginally better..went home and slept a while..I seem to be doing a bit better as long as I don't eat anything or drink much..will cause problems soon re blood sugar and trying to teach/preach if I can't eat..covered the mnimum work just a bit ago..add some more notes for the lesson today and I'm going back hom til late this morning (we have afternoon services.)
John/IBOB :waving:
I was reading back through this thread and wanted to pop in with a quote and a question:
QuoteYes, the toy made my Christmas merrier, but as we celebrate Valentine's Day, here's a less merry idea: Modern youth culture's love affair with the iPod may explain why this holiday will be lonelier for many people of my generation.
Was I the only one mildly grossed out by this statement? I don't know the author's age, but this sentence sounds as though she is encouraging the cougar.
Gag.
On the original topic... Wait, why am I even in this thread? I'm over 20 and have never even been on a single date. Oh well, this is the traits list anyway:
A lady who complements me. Not one who throws complIments at me, but one who's life, abilities and viewpoints complEment mine, so that her strengths make up for my weaknesses and mine make up for hers. A lady who will be willing to do the things she is good at, let me do the things I am good at and have the wisdom to know the difference.
A lady who will not let pride get in the way of common sense, and will bring it to my attention if I do so (sometimes I still do.)
A lady who is not afraid to state her opinion when she thinks it will contradict mine, and who can bear it if I state an opinion that contradicts hers. One who has the perspective to know when disagreements are not worth resolving. A lady who can agree to disagree, and has the wisdom to know what can be left alone.
A lady who can correct me without belittling me. One who can show me where I am wrong without putting me down. Sometimes I am in fact wrong. One who will have patience with me while I figure something out, and will graciously accept it if it turns out she is wrong.
A lady who is close enough to God to ask Him about matters we will face. One who is sensitive enough in the spirit to know if something is wrong with me and gentle enough to bring it up the right way. One who hears God clearly enough that I won't even have to tell her what I feel is the right choice - we will both be getting our direction from the same source. (Yes these DO exist, but they're either all married or too far away from where I live.)
A lady who is good at talking to people (this is one of those weaknesses I was talking about I have - I'm a semi-pro listener, but not a good conversation starter.)
A lady who does not talk bad about people. I know firsthand how much damage gossip can do, in my own family. :argue: I have also known some good ministers who will never be back to our church because their wives were verbal wrecking balls, constantly tearing down people.
A lady who can stand me singing or humming to myself all the time. I mean ALL the time. This is probably asking a lot, but it's a fact that I will be singing very often and for great lengths of time, usually quietly, but sometimes constantly. Just something she'll have to put up with I'm afraid.
As for things I have to work on, that is a bit personal and I don't want to list those here. Sufficient to say I have some faults to work on, but God and I are working on them.
Quote from: Scott on September 21, 2010, 08:59:16 PM
My family is nuts too, I have family members that my wife and kids have only briefly met at funerals for just a few moments.
Ex Cons, Biker gang girlfriend, dope dealer, welfare cheats, moonshiners, and those are the good ones.
Wow, sometimes I need something like this to remind me to appreciate my family. Maybe I should have read through this thread before posting that last post.
Reading this thread, I see a lot of things in my list haven't been mentioned by anyone else. Maybe I'm more weird than I thought...
.
You know, my friends and I were discussing something very similar to the original topic today. After giving it "due" consideration, I'm still a bit fuzzy on the details. As often as I've chosen the wrong fellow, I've decided to kick back and let Jesus deliver my victim, er, dood! He knows the desires of my heart and the needs of my soul, so I trust Him to provide the perfect frame for the canvas that is me.
As to myself, I am, perhaps, a tad too independent. Also, working in law enforcement, I cannot help but feel as if I've been robbed of a great deal of my innocence and trust in mankind. I miss the days in which I never thought to thoroughly "audit" people, looking for the rip in the seam. Thankfully, I'm not a naturally suspicious person. Otherwise, I'd be wearing a foil hat in a tiny, darkened room, staring obsessively at news articles covering every available space... :biglaugh:.
P.s.
I'm back. :freaky2:
Quote from: Kloey on April 02, 2011, 04:51:49 AM
You know, my friends and I were discussing something very similar to the original topic today. After giving it "due" consideration, I'm still a bit fuzzy on the details. As often as I've chosen the wrong fellow, I've decided to kick back and let Jesus deliver my victim, er, dood! He knows the desires of my heart and the needs of my soul, so I trust Him to provide the perfect frame for the canvas that is me.
As to myself, I am, perhaps, a tad too independent. Also, working in law enforcement, I cannot help but feel as if I've been robbed of a great deal of my innocence and trust in mankind. I miss the days in which I never thought to thoroughly "audit" people, looking for the rip in the seam. Thankfully, I'm not a naturally suspicious person. Otherwise, I'd be wearing a foil hat in a tiny, darkened room, staring obsessively at news articles covering every available space... :biglaugh:.
P.s.
I'm back. :freaky2:
So true! I went from a kind, trusting, naive kid to a paranoid, suspicious, pain in the hind quarters over the past ten years. :laughhard:
Oh ,and you got something against foil hats?!? That's my favorite head gear. They even issue them to cops around here after five years. :laughhard:
Quote from: Roscoe on April 02, 2011, 02:48:40 PM
Quote from: Kloey on April 02, 2011, 04:51:49 AM
You know, my friends and I were discussing something very similar to the original topic today. After giving it "due" consideration, I'm still a bit fuzzy on the details. As often as I've chosen the wrong fellow, I've decided to kick back and let Jesus deliver my victim, er, dood! He knows the desires of my heart and the needs of my soul, so I trust Him to provide the perfect frame for the canvas that is me.
As to myself, I am, perhaps, a tad too independent. Also, working in law enforcement, I cannot help but feel as if I've been robbed of a great deal of my innocence and trust in mankind. I miss the days in which I never thought to thoroughly "audit" people, looking for the rip in the seam. Thankfully, I'm not a naturally suspicious person. Otherwise, I'd be wearing a foil hat in a tiny, darkened room, staring obsessively at news articles covering every available space... :biglaugh:.
P.s.
I'm back. :freaky2:
So true! I went from a kind, trusting, naive kid to a paranoid, suspicious, pain in the hind quarters over the past ten years. :laughhard:
Oh ,and you got something against foil hats?!? That's my favorite head gear. They even issue them to cops around here after five years. :laughhard:
Nope. Have one myself. It's even self-heating...lol. Besides, I know why they issue 'em to you fellas. Can't have the extraterrestrials reading your minds and discovering the location of the doughnut cache!
Quote from: Kloey on April 02, 2011, 06:34:28 PM
Quote from: Roscoe on April 02, 2011, 02:48:40 PM
Quote from: Kloey on April 02, 2011, 04:51:49 AM
You know, my friends and I were discussing something very similar to the original topic today. After giving it "due" consideration, I'm still a bit fuzzy on the details. As often as I've chosen the wrong fellow, I've decided to kick back and let Jesus deliver my victim, er, dood! He knows the desires of my heart and the needs of my soul, so I trust Him to provide the perfect frame for the canvas that is me.
As to myself, I am, perhaps, a tad too independent. Also, working in law enforcement, I cannot help but feel as if I've been robbed of a great deal of my innocence and trust in mankind. I miss the days in which I never thought to thoroughly "audit" people, looking for the rip in the seam. Thankfully, I'm not a naturally suspicious person. Otherwise, I'd be wearing a foil hat in a tiny, darkened room, staring obsessively at news articles covering every available space... :biglaugh:.
P.s.
I'm back. :freaky2:
So true! I went from a kind, trusting, naive kid to a paranoid, suspicious, pain in the hind quarters over the past ten years. :laughhard:
Oh ,and you got something against foil hats?!? That's my favorite head gear. They even issue them to cops around here after five years. :laughhard:
Nope. Have one myself. It's even self-heating...lol. Besides, I know why they issue 'em to you fellas. Can't have the extraterrestrials reading your minds and discovering the location of the doughnut cache!
Dougnut cache?!? What donut cache?!? You're crazy, there is no donut cache!
* Roscoe hurridly scuttles away to attend to moving things that are alleged to exist before the MEDIA (aka Newsman) comes snooping and takes any donuts that *might* exist.
:laughhard:
Quote from: Roscoe on April 02, 2011, 06:56:03 PM
Quote from: Kloey on April 02, 2011, 06:34:28 PM
Quote from: Roscoe on April 02, 2011, 02:48:40 PM
Quote from: Kloey on April 02, 2011, 04:51:49 AM
You know, my friends and I were discussing something very similar to the original topic today. After giving it "due" consideration, I'm still a bit fuzzy on the details. As often as I've chosen the wrong fellow, I've decided to kick back and let Jesus deliver my victim, er, dood! He knows the desires of my heart and the needs of my soul, so I trust Him to provide the perfect frame for the canvas that is me.
As to myself, I am, perhaps, a tad too independent. Also, working in law enforcement, I cannot help but feel as if I've been robbed of a great deal of my innocence and trust in mankind. I miss the days in which I never thought to thoroughly "audit" people, looking for the rip in the seam. Thankfully, I'm not a naturally suspicious person. Otherwise, I'd be wearing a foil hat in a tiny, darkened room, staring obsessively at news articles covering every available space... :biglaugh:.
P.s.
I'm back. :freaky2:
So true! I went from a kind, trusting, naive kid to a paranoid, suspicious, pain in the hind quarters over the past ten years. :laughhard:
Oh ,and you got something against foil hats?!? That's my favorite head gear. They even issue them to cops around here after five years. :laughhard:
Nope. Have one myself. It's even self-heating...lol. Besides, I know why they issue 'em to you fellas. Can't have the extraterrestrials reading your minds and discovering the location of the doughnut cache!
Dougnut cache?!? What donut cache?!? You're crazy, there is no donut cache!
* Roscoe hurridly scuttles away to attend to moving things that are alleged to exist before the MEDIA (aka Newsman) comes snooping and takes any donuts that *might* exist.
:laughhard:
Yes, yes, of course. What is this doughnut cache of which we speak? If such a thing indeed existed, surely the government would make its presence known.''
*Snicker.*
I bake. John can be bought... :freaky2:
Quote from: Kloey on April 03, 2011, 04:27:32 AM
Quote from: Roscoe on April 02, 2011, 06:56:03 PM
Quote from: Kloey on April 02, 2011, 06:34:28 PM
Quote from: Roscoe on April 02, 2011, 02:48:40 PM
Quote from: Kloey on April 02, 2011, 04:51:49 AM
You know, my friends and I were discussing something very similar to the original topic today. After giving it "due" consideration, I'm still a bit fuzzy on the details. As often as I've chosen the wrong fellow, I've decided to kick back and let Jesus deliver my victim, er, dood! He knows the desires of my heart and the needs of my soul, so I trust Him to provide the perfect frame for the canvas that is me.
As to myself, I am, perhaps, a tad too independent. Also, working in law enforcement, I cannot help but feel as if I've been robbed of a great deal of my innocence and trust in mankind. I miss the days in which I never thought to thoroughly "audit" people, looking for the rip in the seam. Thankfully, I'm not a naturally suspicious person. Otherwise, I'd be wearing a foil hat in a tiny, darkened room, staring obsessively at news articles covering every available space... :biglaugh:.
P.s.
I'm back. :freaky2:
So true! I went from a kind, trusting, naive kid to a paranoid, suspicious, pain in the hind quarters over the past ten years. :laughhard:
Oh ,and you got something against foil hats?!? That's my favorite head gear. They even issue them to cops around here after five years. :laughhard:
Nope. Have one myself. It's even self-heating...lol. Besides, I know why they issue 'em to you fellas. Can't have the extraterrestrials reading your minds and discovering the location of the doughnut cache!
Dougnut cache?!? What donut cache?!? You're crazy, there is no donut cache!
* Roscoe hurridly scuttles away to attend to moving things that are alleged to exist before the MEDIA (aka Newsman) comes snooping and takes any donuts that *might* exist.
:laughhard:
Yes, yes, of course. What is this doughnut cache of which we speak? If such a thing indeed existed, surely the government would make its presence known.''
*Snicker.*
I bake. John can be bought... :freaky2:
I am offended. Sir John cannot be bought, he has way too much integrity for that. He can, however, be rented or leased for an extended period of time, however. :laughhard: Fairly cheaply,too, I'm told. :lol:
A gas station hot dog, a honey bun and a two liter of Pepsi works well as payment to John I'm told.
:hypocrite:
:laughhard:
*skimming a few posts and adding my own thoughts to what I think was the original topic*
lol
Happily, my ever-so-long list went out the window recently, and was replaced with a much much shorter list:
1. A man who loves God with all of his heart, soul, mind and strength.
2. Someone I can respect, even when I find out he's not perfect.
3. Someone who would dare to love me in spite of my imperfections.
Quote from: RainbowJingles on April 07, 2011, 12:55:09 AM
*skimming a few posts and adding my own thoughts to what I think was the original topic*
lol
Happily, my ever-so-long list went out the window recently, and was replaced with a much much shorter list:
1. A man who loves God with all of his heart, soul, mind and strength.
2. Someone I can respect, even when I find out he's not perfect.
3. Someone who would dare to love me in spite of my imperfections.
I think this is quite possibly the absolute, perfect answer!
:like:
Quote from: RainbowJingles on March 26, 2010, 08:19:26 AM
The most important is the obvious "God first" item. Someone who puts God absolutely FIRST in everything and every aspect of his life, from his career and church work to his family, friends, and even day-to-day "small" choices.
At the top of my personal list of what I pray God sees fit to give me in a man is a good sense of humor - the kind that laughs WITH people, not AT them (I don't think much can make me upset faster than someone who feels the need to put others down in order to get laughs, or to feel superior themselves; do NOT get me started!).
For me: *sigh* I apparently have a lot to work on, and God has been merciful enough to show me some of them one at a time while giving me the tools to help work on them.
I can only pray that God will send someone who is a bit ahead of me on some things, who will help me grow... someone who can encourage me in my growth... someone who will grow WITH me.
I apparently already answered this before.
Wow... Amazing what a year can do in your life, isn't it?
someone who thinks i'm worth their time.... :roll: