Godplace/Mission238 forums

I will come back and fill in the details when i have time... and i will give my opinion on it at that time too... I just wanted to go ahead and start the poll and see what you people think...

I say yes.  It helps prevent confusion.  Assuming something is never a good thing.

Quote from: teacheroftheLord on August 30, 2008, 03:09:46 AM
I say yes.  It helps prevent confusion.  Assuming something is never a good thing.

Yeah, what she said.

  i voted it doesn't matter, i am married... lol  :laughhard:

Yeah but you had your fair share Jonathan!

Yes I think they should. Keeps the girl from having to wonder where she stands in their relationship.

What's the alternative?  Playing caveman and clubbing her over the head and dragging her out by her hair? 

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v286/jenbungo/caveman-1.gif)

this reminds me of the old childhood rhyme...Georgie porgy, pudding and pie....

Alternative is she gets to go out with whoever she wants with a clear conscience and he has no right to get jealous or hurt if she's already accepted a date for next week that isn't him.

If a guy wants to date a girl exclusively and wants her to date him exclusively then ABSOLUTELY he should ask and clarify his intentions
anything else is just silly and self absorbed

QuoteAlternative is she gets to go out with whoever she wants with a clear conscience and he has no right to get jealous or hurt if she's already accepted a date for next week that isn't him.

I agree.  The twist here is that so does he.

I don't want a gal thinking she's tied to me by her word (or vice versa), if she wants to be with me, fine.  If she wants to go out with someone else, that's also fine.  No ring, no promise.  No ring, No "going out" status.  "Going steady" without a ring, or promise, or intent to marry is just a made-up "license to sin".

To me, there is no such thing as "going out", or "going steady" - IMO, that's authentic seventh grade.

If there is intention ON BOTH SIDES to make "the relationship" (uggh...we need to add that phrase to the profanity filter, the replacement needs to be "I need to leave junior high school behind") permanent, then there should be a ring and a promise not to "see" anyone else.

AT THAT POINT, they are considered a "couple", and should (theoretically) be free from all the silliness.

***edit***

Define: "date" him.

As in, will you go out with me Friday to ?

or

Do you like me, circle yes or no...  :roll:

If a guy never asks a girl to date him how can they go out?  How do they get to know each other?  The alternative to me is arranged marriage.  A guy HAS to ask her out, or vice versa. SOMEBODY has to ask or they'll never get together enough to see if they want to have a relationship.

Going steady only means you are steadily seeing each other and nobody else. *Shrug* Don't need jewelry to steadily see each other.

Quote from: Sis on August 30, 2008, 07:09:12 PM
If a guy never asks a girl to date him how can they go out?  How do they get to know each other?  The alternative to me is arranged marriage.  A guy HAS to ask her out, or vice versa. SOMEBODY has to ask or they'll never get together enough to see if they want to have a relationship.

Going steady only means you are steadily seeing each other and nobody else. *Shrug* Don't need jewelry to steadily see each other.

But if they know each other at all in any way and have any sort of contact or conversation about anything at all, then they already have a "relationship".

"Going steady" is a by-product of the sexual revolution and did not exist as is (in the US) prior to about the mid 1930's.  It had its roots in 17th-century Germany, the practice it came from was called "fenstering" - they were considered already "married".  This included cohabitation and well, "relations".  Then when the man could prove his financial ability to provide for a family and she could prove her ability to take care of said family - and they had enough money to marry - they were officially "married" (by the church, which was the ONLY "marriage" recognized).

"Going steady" without clearly stated intent to marry is an open invitation to sin.  No NO!!

***edit***

I don't know about anyone else, but I have more than enough trouble behaving myself already without adding the temptation that premarital exclusivity can bring.  Just IMO...

   A bit of an alternate viewpoint from me on this. In most relationships, there has to be a period of 'dating' before people decide they are ready for marriage. Courtship is not a relaistic alternative to people who don't really know what it means and/or is foreign to their customs. There are even those who fully know what courthsip means that still choose to date, and it doesn't neccesarily lead to sin.

   Thus, there often has to be something akin to what we call 'dating'. And, as I recall from a relationship I had many years ago, when she and I started dating I spoke with her, and we agreed we would not be dating anyone else.

   As in so many things, though, YMMV. What works for my friend Chris may not work as well for another, and vice versa. Just as people are unique, the ways people approach romantic relationships can vary greatly, from person to person.


John  :waving:

I think they would call that betrothal. Going steady is no more than an exclusive relationship, whether stated that way or not. *Shrug* no big deal.

As for the other, I was joking around. If you don't ask her out, and she doesn't ask you out, how do you get on that date?

I'm confused.  Things sure are different in different parts of the world. 

Chris..are you saying that to be someones boyfriend that you would give her a ring just to be her boyfriend?

If I was "going" with someone, I would say that he is my boyfriend. If it was going out to dinner, like on a date, but not "dating" they would not be considered my boyfriend. Just two people enjoying dinner and each others company, but not "dating". I go out with guys all the time, but just as friends, and I dont call it a date either. It just depends on the situation I guess.

But I have never heard of exchanging rings without the intent to marry.

I just wanna know if you give out a ring to your girlfriend.

Wow. Interesting discussion. :)

I believe in the seventh-grade 'going out' period, I guess - a time of exclusive dating - not as a license to sin, but as a mutual agreement to build a solid foundation of trust with the understanding that the relationship will proceed to marriage.

Handing out rings to girlfriends would put some guys into serious debt. ;) (Just teasin' - I knew that wasn't what anyone meant! *grin*)

Quotenot as a license to sin, but as a mutual agreement to build a solid foundation of trust with the understanding that the relationship will proceed to marriage.

Or you may find out you aren't on the same page and break up.

 :sing: breakin' up is hard to doooooo  :sing:

Yeah, right..like the IBOB and GotG would know!  ;) err,  :roll:


John  :waving:

I guess my viewpoints on this subject are influenced by two things:

One:  Kids already have an abundance of hormones.  They don't need any further inducements to get into things that will get them into trouble.

Two:  No matter hard hard our preachers preach against it, our apostolic young people are lining up left, right and center to get pregnant at 15, 16, 17.  I have seen this at three churches here so far...

This may just be a Houston area thing, but what gives here?

I'm TIRED of this.

OK, I do think there is a time to declare the relationship "exclusive" and that time is engagement or betrothal or whatever it's called.  I think it should be decided by both people, and if both people decide it's so, what need for "do you like me? check the box."?

No ring, she's fair game - and don't whine at me, little fellers.  Having an "exclusive" relationship without absolute intent to marry is sophistry.  Pure baloney.  What's to try out?  Each other?  To "make sure you're physically compatible"?  lol  That's called "fornication".

Trust me, you can't get to "know" someone until you have lived with them for years.  You will find things about them that you dislike immensely, and they you - things that might have made you go, "hmmmmmm, maybe not". 

So that's my position.  An "exclusive relationship" outside of the intent to marry is allowing latitude for "romantically inclined physical contact", as my old principal used to say.  Until the two become married, they don't really know if that's who God has for them - and when they do become married, (hopefully it's a decision based after seeking God's will!) it's too late to change their mind.  And if they "consummate the relationship" on the grounds of "just checking for compatibility" and then decide he or she is not for them, how exactly does that differ from just plain sleeping around?  Answer:  It doesn't differ at all.   

""OK, I do think there is a time to declare the relationship "exclusive" and that time is engagement or betrothal or whatever it's called.  I think it should be decided by both people, and if both people decide it's so, what need for "do you like me? check the box."?""

I'll agree with that, assuming one is Ok with rings, if not, that the engagement/betrothal takes place in any case.

Maybe it's a culture thing...or maybe it's just me, which is more than likely. Personally 'exclusivity' to me means finding out if their personalities are compatible, without the issue of physicality. Maybe I'm just naive, which is probable, but to me I won't date someone *at all* if I didn't think they were a compatible candidate for a life partner, which is one of the many reasons why I have never dated. To me, if and when I date, the exclusivity is a given. And to me the whole physicality issue is a big 'not gonna happen, mate' until after the marriage vows are said and the wedding cake is eaten.

To me 'casual' dating is callous and time wasting.

And on the topic: Yes a guy should ask a girl to date him, otherwise how would she know that he wants to date her?

Well, some people think they'll work out together because they "know" each other pretty well, but as they date, they find they are opposites in many things, and they quit dating because they're really not as compatable as they thought they would be. Some people date as friends because it's just fun to go out to parties, etc together with someone.

As two people get closer, and they have dated for awhile to find they ARE compatable, they become exclusive and then after a bit they become engaged.

You think you know someone pretty well, but if you only talk to them casually or know them from church or whatever, you really don't. Dating is a way to find out if two people agree on important things. And if not, they quit seeing each other. It's not rocket science.

Would you like to become engaged to someone and find you are polar opposites when it comes to the amount of children you want, if any. How about finding out that one person doesn't want children at all and the other one wants two or three?  How about if you're engaged and find out that you believe in holding standards and the other one doesn't?  This is what you find out when you're dating, and so much more.

if you're not being physical what's the point of being exclusive? you don't have to be wary about disease control.

if you are marriage oriented you should be able to accept dates from a different person every night of the week.  if someone keeps rising to the top and wants to be exclusive, do it with an official proposal.

if you are mature enough to be ready to get married you should know what you want and be able to identify it within a relatively short period of time

if for some reason you still don't know what you want yet, do the single world a favor and don't demand exclusive relationships while you figure yourself out!

its not really rocket science, if you aren't  sure, step back and pray and get an answer, don't prolong it by going exclusive - you'll just form a habit and get their hopes up

exclusive dating, especially for long periods of time is selfish. go or get off the pot.  biological clocks are real, don't convince someone to put their eggs in one basket (forgive the pun and cliché two for one) without a deadline to make good on it!

I didn't see sis' post before I posted, silly phone.

just wanna add that all those topics can be discussed without being exclusive

I've gone on dates and discussed many a topic, you have to approach it as two singles with the same goal of Find 'The One', you might be it, you might not, lets do us both a favor and talk about it.  are we supposed to both pretend that's not why we're both here? 

there is nothing wrong with open communication, I've made some great friends, we've talked, realized we aren't  for each other and its no hard feelings cause we never wasted time getting hopes up. went straight for what's important, got the answer and left with a good, intact, open communication, honest friendship

its issues we all deal with and think about.  its tragic when people can't talk about stuff.

if someone gets skittish about the idea of talking about stuff then in my opinion they aren't ready to get married and communicate in a relationship.  your issues, ideas and goals aren't that unique and you won't be that vulnerable, you are who you are and if you want someone who fits you, you'll have to be honest with them and you about who you are

do them a favor as a fellow singleton and let them know who you are... and let them let you know who they are, don't project on them, don't debate them, don't try to change them, don't get your hopes up about them either... let them be who they are and be honest with yourself as to the compatibility, don't force it

Quotejust wanna add that all those topics can be discussed without being exclusive

No, I said/meant that's the reason for dating. To learn that kind of information. Some seem to think dating = sex and it doesn't.

When you get closer while dating, most start being exclusive. Some become exclusive right away. That's their thing. But dating is the time to find out what you want from another person and to find if the person you are with is someone you are compatable with.

*Sigh* maybe I'm just being naive and idealistic in a real world scenario...for some reason this thread is depressing me.

Hearing you all talk about dating in this way makes me wonder if I ever will date or if I'll stay single for the rest of my life out of preference and/or because it's easier and less painful re: childbearing etc. Maybe I'm in the wrong frame of mind at the moment.

To me, dating definitely doesn't equal that, marriage does...and marriage equals quite a few other things as well. To me the whole point of dating is finding a compatible life partner and...okay...maybe exculsivity is unrealistic in that sense.

Not to mention that the idea of a relationship on that level terrifies me (probably the fear is unfounded)

Quote from: upcchris on September 18, 2008, 10:50:04 AM
*Sigh* maybe I'm just being naive and idealistic in a real world scenario...for some reason this thread is depressing me.

Hearing you all talk about dating in this way makes me wonder if I ever will date or if I'll stay single for the rest of my life out of preference and/or because it's easier and less painful re: childbearing etc. Maybe I'm in the wrong frame of mind at the moment.

To me, dating definitely doesn't equal that, marriage does...and marriage equals quite a few other things as well. To me the whole point of dating is finding a compatible life partner and...okay...maybe exculsivity is unrealistic in that sense.

Not to mention that the idea of a relationship on that level terrifies me (probably the fear is unfounded)

In that case, have you ever considered being a mail ordered bride?  You wouldn't ever have to worry then about the fear of dating!

 :o :lol: Say what?

*nwlife wonders which is cheaper to send a lady  from Australia to the US ---- US postal service or FedEx?*

:biglaugh: :biglaugh:

Chris, fear of the unknown is natural. When God puts someone in your path, you will be compatable and you will love him and depend on him but it's God's timing. So, in the meantime, just keep on keepin' on.

 :lol: Far too many thing can go wrong in the mail order bride scenario, so I'm not going to consider it.

Thanks Sis

:o  Did Brandon just propose to you, Chris?!?!?  :o

I dunno, I wouldn't know a proposal if someone hit me over the head with it. :lol:

Hmmm...


John  :waving:

Oh boy.

I think someone is about to be investigated.

My opinion for what it is worth. 

Chris made some valid points and some very good ones.

My pastor is very much anti "dating" as the world sees it.    We don't encourage it in the high school or with the youth.

Now people do fall in love, etc....    Our youth leaders got married last year with the first kiss at the altar -- plenty of chemistry there believe me (there's a whole story there).

I do want to know what a guy's intentions are  -- clear and laid out and where things are going.    That way I know which way things are going.

And yes, I want HIM to lead the relationship not me.

Nai

Quote from: Chinadoll on October 23, 2008, 06:47:33 AM
I do want to know what a guy's intentions are  -- clear and laid out and where things are going.    That way I know which way things are going.

And yes, I want HIM to lead the relationship not me.

Nai

Amen! :great:

Quote from: Newsman on October 23, 2008, 06:34:10 AM
Hmmm...


John  :waving:

:couch:

Quote from: sunlight on August 30, 2008, 12:02:37 AM
I will come back and fill in the details when i have time... and i will give my opinion on it at that time too... I just wanted to go ahead and start the poll and see what you people think...

Hmmm... I note that she never came back in and filled in the details. It has been nearly two months!

As for me, I don't even think much about marriage anymore. My future dreams seem to focus on preparing for my second retirement and spending my waning years sitting on the swing on the front porch drinking fruit juices and shaking a cane at those young whipper-snappers! Ha ha.

*nwlife proposes that upcchris should answer the following question...."What should I eat for breakfast?"*

:o  He DID propose, Chris!!!!  :o

:chatter: Spread the news! :chatter:

:beret:

Oo la lah!  :thumbsup2:


John  :waving:

Quote from: nwlife on October 23, 2008, 01:32:39 PM
*nwlife proposes that upcchris should answer the following question...."What should I eat for breakfast?"*

A hearty breakfast, whatever breakfast foods you prefer

I heard a quote somewhere, I forget how it goes but the essential gist is this:

Eat breakfast like a king
Lunch like the middle class
and dinner like a pauper

:o

She ACCEPTED!!!!!

:o

 :freaky2: And there's the juicy GP gossip for the week! :chatter:

:beret:

:freaky2:

We all know she is a lovely, respectable, young lady, but the question remains, how well can she or her mom cook?  :fork:

*sigh* I had a feeling I'd be food for GP gossip sooner or later since I registered


As far as I go: not at all well...well more to the point that, in all honesty, I can never really be bothered cooking, my mum cooks well though, but I think every child thinks that of their mother.

So I take it you can burn water fairly well?

When I can be bothered to cook, I can cook fairly well, it just takes a little longer because I'm so pedantic....I said I can't cook at all well because I'm usually so pedantic about cooking to be bothered.

Pedantic: meaning in the dictionary...
: narrowly, stodgily, and often ostentatiously learned
1. ostentatious in one's learning.
2. overly concerned with minute details or formalisms, esp. in teaching.

Then that means we can look forward to a beautiful meal, once we can ever convince you to step into the kitchen and step up to the stove!!! :freaky2: :fork:

Ahhh...  :clap2:


John  :waving:

Showing my youth a little here when I say: I'd rather play video games :hypocrite: j/k

Showing my youth, too. I agree!   :laughhard:

Quote from: World Traveler on October 23, 2008, 11:48:27 AM

Quote from: sunlight on August 30, 2008, 12:02:37 AM
I will come back and fill in the details when i have time... and i will give my opinion on it at that time too... I just wanted to go ahead and start the poll and see what you people think...

Hmmm... I note that she never came back in and filled in the details. It has been nearly two months!

As for me, I don't even think much about marriage anymore. My future dreams seem to focus on preparing for my second retirement and spending my waning years sitting on the swing on the front porch drinking fruit juices and shaking a cane at those young whipper-snappers! Ha ha.

In all honesty... I started out asking this question because I had never heard of anyone thinking it was normal for a guy to not ask a girl to date him... that is until the question came up with a few friends of mine, and as we were discussing it, they presented the idea that the girl should be able to tell, that they shouldnt have to ask.

Although they do have a point, I have to honestly say that I strongly disagree. I still think that the guy should ask the girl to date him. There are a lot of different people and personalities in this world, and many different definitions of what a relationship consists of. If nothing else... the 2 people involved in the relationship might find it very informative, if not essential to discuss just what the definition of a relationship is. But i digress.

I still think that the guy should ask the girl to date him.
Why?

- because its important to the girl. I'm not sure if there are any girls out there who actually like answering "i dont know"  when they are asked "so how long have yall been dating?"  Not knowing sure raises questions in a lot of people eyes when a girl doesnt know just how long she has been dating a certain guy. If you do tell someone that you dont know, the first question they always seem to ask is... "well, when did he ask you? " and when you say he didnt... "then how do you know you are dating?" :sigh: good question...

- people have imaginations... and one person may think that something is there when there isnt, and one person may thing something isnt there, and they are just having fun. When people dont ask, they dont know, and thus a bit of uncertainty is present in the relationship. One of the individuals in the relationship may wonder "did i imagine this whole thing, and turn things into things they wernt really?"

- people assume things...or dont want to assume things. By asking the girl to date him, the guy lets her know that is he interested, and it may also let her believe that some of the things she was too afraid to ask and too afraid to assume were really ok. It's not fun going around wondering... "ok, i know i like him, and i know he likes me, but is it safe to assume that i am his friend?" or... "i know he calls me, so i want to assume he is interested, but i also have 4 other guys that call me that just want to talk, and i dont know which category he fits into, and i dont want to assume..." or... or... or... or...

- if there is not a beginning is there going to be an end? Maybe this is a rather backwards way of thinking... but it is still a point to consider. If a guy thinks he should not have to ask a girl to date him... that she should be able to tell just by how he acts... does that same reasoning go for if/when the relationship ends? And if so... at what point is it ended? when he is only calling once a week? when he never calls? when he stops visiting? when he stops returning IM's and emails? Where is the end? and much more importantly... where was the beginning?



so yeah... That is part of what i think.
~ Chel

Well put, Chel.

*Hugs* Chel because she makes so much sense to a gal's brain. Well, this gal's brain, at least. ;)

:beret:

Yes...I agree...makes a LOT of sense, and it was VERY well worded.

Thanks Chel.

*HUG*

yea,
I have been sitting here thinking, someone I have liked attends a church of the denomination I grew up in.  For a year now I have debated to ask her out.  but since I am no longer a part of that denomination and preparing to enter the ministry of a denomination that is the polar opposite but yet is a predecessor in denominational history, Should I still consider asking her out seeing she is a steadfast part of that which I grew up in, and I - while having not rejected it, but have went another direction in theology, though my former denomination's theology is still part of the fundamental basis of what I am.

But now because of my waiting so long and debating within my mind, I hear there is a possibility she is dating someone who has only attended church sporadically in his existance.

Not making light of your situation at all, but some thoughts that may apply to others also.

1) You point out your polar opposite denominal direction from her..yet object to his lack of spirituality.

2) In a blessed man's life, there comes a woman who is worth struggling for, fighting for, courting and winning the hand of..or sit back and wonder 'what if' for a lifetime.

You know the Truth spiritually..you should come home to it.


John

For point 1, I never said I objected.  It would be her choice as to who she would choose. 

As for point 2, I already have too many "what ifs"


But in examining everything I am, I can never return to the denomination I grew up in.  I can visit, can consider them as fellow believers, but never again will I be able to call that place and branch of christianity home- regardless of what sentamentality and memories it holds.

Then no, in my opinion, you should not ask her out. It wouldn't be fair to cause her confusion, and considering that you said she is a "steadfast part" of that church... I don't recommend you ask her to cross that many lines in her own life. It strikes me that you'd be asking her to make all the changes and adaptions to date you, rather than there being a healthy give and take.

My two cents.

:beret:

Let me clear one thing up, I am not that dis-simillar  from the church I grew up in. Quickly stating, in the history of the pentecostal movement, there were the two groups that merged to form the UPC,  PCI and PAJC.  PAJC taught what the UPC does today.  PCI had two mixes in it, one that taught the same as the UPC now, and the other who taught the salvation process is only repentance and possibly baptism (that group was a mix of both views.)  I am of the later mix that was repentance or repentance/baptism. 
I also see the oneness a little differently, but am not going to diverse into that subject here.  The oneness still forms most of the basis of the theology of how I view God and his revelation into our lives and world.

So it doesn't mean I am not the polar opposite of the church I grew up in, only the church I attend now-- you would consider to be the polar opposite.

But because of the views I have are just enough difference that most of the apostolics either 1. consider me backslid 2. consider me to never have been saved. or 3, as I have heard recently, a traitor to the apostolic movement. 

If I was to ask the girl out, I would not ask her to change her views, or leave the church she attends.  But if it would have gone as far as marriage, then she would have to understand, that if I am in the ministry of the church I now attend, I may have to move every few years due to the circut arrangement of the church.

But thats enough of the hijacking of the thread.

(And  newsman, the girl I was talking about is Not who you think she is!  But there is still the one you do know, similar situation though)

But to address the original question, if a guy seems to be interrested and takes a while to ever "pop a question" to you, it could be that he is just wrestling with all pros and cons in his mind as I have over the years.   But eventually he should ask, and find out one way or the other.  If he waits too long and the girl becomes interrested in someone else.  He will just have to do like I have done, and wonder what if.

I suggest you start a new thread about churches and let this one be unpinkwinked.

That was why I made a seperate post in order to bring the thread closer to the orginal thoughts that were posted by the author of the thread.

good post chel

if a couple can't even communicate enough to establish a relationship they shouldn't be in one

I've always thought you were a better writer than I was Chel... you just did an excellent job of proving that! I love the way you express yourself!

I am still waiting for Amelia Bedelia to ask me out.  :biglaugh:

She's not a redhead.  :laughhard:

Yeah, what Lady Sis said! :highfive:


John  :waving:

This topic always causes confusion, it seems.  From the beginning of my posting on Godplace, there were discussions on what it all meant.

The main issue in our personal confusion seems to stem from the fact that "asking a girl out" can be seen in a variety of ways.

For some, "asking a girl out" is simply saying, "Hey, can I take you to Burger Shack and get you a double-cheese burger?"
For others, "asking a girl out" is asking her to be his girlfriend, as in making things exclusive.

Let's say that a "date" is a casual get-together of a guy and a girl.  The "traditional" date if you will.
Let's say that "dating" is a string of aforementioned "date"s.

So we have established that "dating" is a guy and a girl going places/doing things together.

The confusion comes into play when a guy and a girl go places together and have fun together and do this many times in succession (not a "problem" really, but I'm making a point; bear with me).  After more than a handful of "dates" it is likely that one or the other of the two will begin to wonder if they are "dating."

The conversation will probably go something like this:
Girl: Ummm...  Seems like we're sort of "dating."
Guy: I thought we were just friends.
Girl: Well, we've been together a lot.
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: So are we?
Guy: What?
Girl: DATING!
Guy: Aren't we on a date?
Girl:  Ummm...  Yes.
Guy: Then I guess we're dating.

What the girl REALLY wants to know is whether or not they are in an exclusive relationship, or if the guy has a whole bunch of other girls that he treats the same way.  She wants to know if he treats others like he treats her.  She wants to know how she compares to other women.  She wants to hear him say, "Well, you're the only one I've been out with in the past three months, and I enjoy our time together to the point that I think I don't mind the world knowing that we have spent every evening together for the last three months...  Do you mind if I call you my girlfriend?"

:cloud9:

THAT is what this thread is about, people.  lol

At least, that's my feminine take on what the thread is about.  lol

I think I'm going to bake Elona a cheesecake...

I think I will too. She put that perfectly. :)

lol  Just throw loose change.  I just had one too many Chips Ahoy cookies at lunchtime.

Change Ahoy!

Sis gives RJ a cracker with sugar free preserves on it. Strawberry.

Can't do sugar-free, Sis.  lol  Just a plain cracker would be fine.  Or maybe just a plain strawberry!  :bigcheese:

Quote from: RainbowJingles on October 30, 2008, 12:16:12 AM
Can't do sugar-free, Sis.  lol  Just a plain cracker would be fine.  Or maybe just a plain strawberry!  :bigcheese:

How come?  It's not with any artificial sweetner, just made without sugar. The natural sugars from the strawberries was enough. It's good and tastes fresher.

Now THAT sounds PERFECT!!!  Sign me up like YESTERDAY!!!!!!!

:lol:

*Hugs* Elona because she's wonderful. :)

:beret:

Good post Elona... however I think one can avoid such confusion without being pushy and having such a conversation - conversations like that just make a guy feel like he's out of control and makes the chick come across pushy or needy

You gotta keep it light and encourage him to the next level
clarification questions like: "So is this a date or should I bring my wallet?" make it jokey... but you'll get an answer and he has to acknowledge the signals being sent by him

this is the oldest and stupidest rule in the book but it has been there for generations for a reason.... don't say yes everytime....

if he's not clarifying where he stands then let him know you're seeing other guys or at least busy... but not confrontationally... just when he asks, pause and go through your calendar mentally or for real and talk to yourself aloud... mutter things like: I think that was the night <insert male name here> (even if its your cousin) asked me to accompany him to <mutter unintelligble event and quickly say louder or was that the next week... or no that was <insert another male name here> (even if its your grandfather)  then louder say back to him: ya know, I'm not sure let me check the dates and get back to you

Lets him know he'll have to make his intentions a littler clearer if he hopes to mean something in your life.  You want a guy that thinks you're worth working a little harder for anyway.  Its not playing hard to get, its called not putting all your eggs in one basket, don't clear open your schedule and life for a guy that isn't clear what he's going to do with it.

And say its progressing but hits a rut and gets stale... there are non-pushy ways to nicely and casually encourage him to evaluate the relationship and make a move one way or another.

One guy I was seeing... non-exclusively, and we clarified that status many times (LOL, communication was and still is rather incredible between us) it was naturally becoming more and more exclusive and we even had deposits down on neighboring apartment units and generally getting closer in a lot of regards.... anyway, was to that "go or get off the pot" point... he never told his mom about me so I casually asked one day what it would take for a girl to exist to his mother... and he gave some vague answer that fit our relationship at the moment and I laughed and teasing him said "so tell me about the girl you've been doing all that with" and we laughed and kissed and moved on to discussing other subjects... not pushy or confrontational... but awakened a realization in him that he had a responsibility and that I wasn't going to hang out on a backburner forever.  He broke it off a few weeks later cause he realized it was at that point and if he couldn't take it further then he shouldn't waste our time.  It hurt sure but in the end no hard feelings and no confusion.

A no might be harsh but is much better than a maybe that strings along forever
if a relationship is stuck in a stalemale... stick up for yourself... don't sacrifice your mental and emotional wellbeing - if you're not comfortable enough with him to find a way to clarify things... maybe thats telling enough, as how could you expect to communicate later in a relationship?

However, I admit I'm attracted to guys that know what they want... so usually that includes being able to verbalize intentions...  but I think even for guys that don't know... they only figure it out by not being with you and watching you from a distance

My hair gets a reddish/orange tint if the sun shines on it just right...

Vince, wanna go out for an evening in grand ol' NYC?  Maybe sometime around New Years?   :freaky2:

Quote from: Amelia Bedelia on October 30, 2008, 04:46:14 AM
Good post Elona... however I think one can avoid such confusion without being pushy and having such a conversation - conversations like that just make a guy feel like he's out of control and makes the chick come across pushy or needy

lol  That conversation was a purely hypothetical/silly one.  :-)  Very much hyperbolic.  Sort of like the one Dave Barry wrote some time ago, titled, "She Drives for a Relationship. He's Lost in the Transmission".

QuoteContrary to what many women believe, it's fairly easy to develop a longterm, stable, intimate, and mutually fulfilling relationship with a guy. Of course, this guy has to be a Labrador retriever. With human guys, it's extremely difficult. This is because guys don't really grasp what women mean by the term "relationship."

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later, he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud; "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

See this link for the full article: http://www.skrovan.com/joe/html/driving.html (http://www.skrovan.com/joe/html/driving.html)
I found it to be quite funny.  :-)

YEAH!!!!

Wooo hooo!

Ok, calm down. Ha ha.

(checks his calendar since he is a guy who knows what he wants)...

I will know after next week if I am making it to NYC this year. I have an appointment next week that will determine my Christmas break plans. I will be able to give a solid answer after that.

Oh, and you won't have to bring your wallet. :-)

:spitlaugh:

*watches for Mary to show up*

:beret:

Wow.

Is that all she should leave at home?

Well, it is NYC. So she better bring her pepper spray or mace. Not for use against me, of course.  :hypocrite:

Been there many times. Never needed pepper spray.  :laughhard:

But, never with WT, Lady Sis!

Actually, she'd be safe with him.


John  :waving:

OOOHHH Would need the pepper spray FOR wt?  I get it!

<~~~ sweet and innocent. Wouldn't need protection from me. :-)

Quote from: World Traveler on October 30, 2008, 10:37:43 PM
<~~~ sweet and innocent. Wouldn't need protection from me. :-)

:rofl: :rofl:  :laughhard:  :laughhard: :rofl: :rofl:

Quote from: Amelia Bedelia on October 30, 2008, 04:49:34 AM
My hair gets a reddish/orange tint if the sun shines on it just right...

Vince, wanna go out for an evening in grand ol' NYC?  Maybe sometime around New Years?   :freaky2:

:spitlaugh:
Okay...  the press will correct me if I'm wrong, BUT...

:reporter:

Miss Mary just :pwink: ed this thread about a guy asking a girl out.

The new topic that she brought up?
Her hair color.

The question she *cough* proposed?
Would WorldTraveler like to have a New Year's date in NYC? (presumably with her)

The problem with this?
The hair color that WT loves so much would likely not even show up in the lack of light that is generally present (or absent, depending on your propensity for grammatical twists) for New Years' dates.

The issue?
This thread is officially :offtopic:
Who is at fault?
TBD

The original topic?
Should a guy ask a girl out?

The new topic?
Should a girl ask a guy out?!?!!??!?!?!
:o


Really, AB!  Of all the ways to :pwink:  At least you coulda been remotely on topic, but you done totally turned this one upsideDOWN!  Everyone knows that you don't ask a guy out in the "Should a guy actually ask a girl to date him" thread!

:roll:










:laughhard:

RJ?   You goin' over to the dark side?   Just for the cookies?

Quote from: RainbowJingles on October 31, 2008, 12:40:22 AM


Really, AB!  Of all the ways to :pwink:  At least you coulda been remotely on topic, but you done totally turned this one upsideDOWN!  Everyone knows that you don't ask a guy out in the "Should a guy actually ask a girl to date him" thread!

:roll:










:laughhard:

I'm not complaining. :-D

Quote from: Sis on October 31, 2008, 01:20:14 AM
RJ?   You goin' over to the dark side?   Just for the cookies?

Ummm...  dunno, Sis.  What flavor are they!?!?!?!  :bigcheese:

Well, if I know the dark side, it's chocolate chip. FRESH! Warm!

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

*goes to the dark side*
*grabs a cookie*
*runs back to the light side*

:bigcheese:

:hypocrite:

Ok, so what kind of cookie was it?  :hypocrite:

Mrs. Fields' Milk Chocolate Macadamia!  :bigcheese:

:cloud9:

Sounds good...

Warm.  Soft.  Slightly chewy.

:hypnotized:

Quote from: RainbowJingles on November 05, 2008, 09:40:35 PM
Warm.  Soft.  Slightly chewy.

:hypnotized:

hmmm... I think it'd be better with almonds or pecans!

I am in the mood for some no-bake cookies

Rather have some steak at the moment.

Quote from: World Traveler on November 06, 2008, 01:34:14 AM
I am in the mood for some no-bake cookies

Mmmmm.  My grandma used to make those and they were so good.

I'm in the mood for a reeses cup!

Ohhh!  I love the Reeses peanut butter eggs at Easter, well now they have trees for Christmas.  I got one the other day.  YUM!  :fork:

Just had a crunchy reeses cup.  It was quite good, actually!  Now I'm feeling blah, though.  Shouldn't have eaten it.  *sigh*

wow, just reread the pertaining comments to this thread.

So... hmmm... new here... and in Wisconsin, I am not sure how cookies pertain to a guy asking a girl out... lol. Does giving a girl a cookie negate the fact of having to ask her out... I am sure in some cultures that is almost a marriage proposal... again... sorry I am new here... *runs and hides from all uncover cookie carrying people...*  But on a similar note... Peanut Butter No Bake Oatmeal cookies are good... lol

LOL!  Yooper, threads tend to get off track around here. :bigcheese:  Welcome to GP.

I have seen that from the little I have read of some of them... but what fun would it be to not get off the topic... that would be too much like school... or work, eh?

As one poster used to say, "come to the dark side............. we have cookies!"  :rofl:

Quote from: Sis on August 30, 2008, 06:11:09 AM
What's the alternative?  Playing caveman and clubbing her over the head and dragging her out by her hair? 

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v286/jenbungo/caveman-1.gif)

hmmm..... lol

:o

SANDRA!!!!  You'd best be sure Chel packs her pepper spray on that thar cruise!



;)




:laughhard:

LOL.  I'm not really worried about Chel.  First they have to be able to beat her in arm wrestling. ;)

You haven't met Jonathan yet.  :freaky2:

She will have her body guard, the big bad Mary. ;)  hehe

got that right... I'm so intimidating I scare myself

Don't make that face in the mirror if you're scaring yourself. Smile!   :hypocrite:

So to recap... was there an actual consensus on this topic...

I think if I read the last portion correctly some of the thoughts are :

a. knock her out and carry her away caveman style...
b. offer her a cookie...
c. beat her at arm wrestling...
d. dont ask and lose out...
e. ask and get turned down...
f. is there any I missed???

Yep,

G. You ask her out, you enjoy it, she enjoys it, you fall head over heels and boots for each other, THEN see how much complcation there is!  :P


John  :waving:

LOL, John has it right, a guy should take the risk, ask her out, and see what happens.

Don't worry Rainbow I would not use the caveman approach on anyone.  I just thought the post was funny.

I am of the persuasion that asking her is the best way, you'd never know if you didn't try...

Question is... how long should a guy wait, and what signs should he look for? Is there a universal sign of gals that they are interested in a guy... we guys really have the hard jobs... lol... (just kidding ladies... *ducks to get away from charging females shouting about something to do with childbirth*... lol)

I mean... even if you been best friends with her for a super long time, and are fairly sure.. there is always a chance she could say no... right?

If there was a sign that she liked the guy, that all guys could recognize instead of each one having a different one... life could be much simpler, and fit easier into a guys  boxed mind frame...

And girl's say that they are not complicated.

But there can be some fun in the finding out. 

If you are that good of friends with a young lady, you just got to ask her, something like, what would you think of going out on a date. 

Then if she says No, you can always cover with, well just wanted to be sure we were on the same page.

LOL, like that would ever work.

Haha! Nooo, it certainly would NOT work, Jon. *snicker* But I'll have to admit that's a better one than some I've heard. At least you'd make her laugh. ;)

:beret:

Ruby, getting her to laugh is always a good thing.   :cool:

Even more than you probably realize... *smile*

:beret:

Yeah, but sometime even if you had a time picked out to meet up and hang out... it could be considered a date right? Like when the guy brings her flowers, and then while they're driving, she almost stops the car and comments on how pretty some flowers are...

... so he risks life and limb to jump out of a almost stopped car to pick her some. I mean this guy was giving major hints... and she was kinda hinting back, but then all of a sudden when asked if it qualified as a date, and he gets slammed with a "no, we're just friends..."...

I mean, come on ladies... don't make us beg for one... lol... flirting maybe fun, but it can lead to improper assumptions (happened a long time ago to a guy I once knew... lol)...

Hence why to always ask for the date first!

Yea, if you do not identify it as a date prior, it is a little hard to name it a date after.  LOL

:sadbounce:

But it had all the makings of a date... flowers, car ride... sitting by a nice pretty lake... and lots of laughter... or so he thought... lol

Aren't impromptu dates an option...?

They should be, but Women make those rules, and you know the basic rules of women right?

1. All rules are subject to change from second to second depending on the mind set and viewpoints of the woman involved. 
2. A woman is always right, if you mistakenly believe that a woman is incorrect, it is probably because you have not considered rule #1.

:laughhard:

Quote from: 1legRooster on February 14, 2010, 04:30:34 PM
They should be, but Women make those rules, and you know the basic rules of women right?

1. All rules are subject to change from second to second depending on the mind set and viewpoints of the woman involved. 
2. A woman is always right, if you mistakenly believe that a woman is incorrect, it is probably because you have not considered rule #1.

:laughhard:

LOL... too funny... Well, and you know how to change a woman's mind right???

I should add that I think woman is one of God's greatest creations.  A woman has a wonderful way of leading a man to prayer.  Praying for understanding, praising God for such a wonderful gift, asking what we did to end up with her in our lives, thanking God that she is in our life.

Oh the joy and terror.  LOL

Quote from: YooperYankDude on February 14, 2010, 04:32:41 PM
LOL... too funny... Well, and you know how to change a woman's mind right???

Not sure, is it wait 5 minutes?

JK

:couch:

I think that is one of the answers... but I just wanted to type the question... lol.

But really... A woman adds a lot to a man. God put Eve there as a help-meet to Adam... we might still be in the garden if she hadn't of listened to a snake offering a pretty apple, but that is besides the point... (LOL... just kiddin...)

But really Ladies... if a snake offers you an apple... DONT TAKE IT! *Step away from the talking snake... refuse the apple!*

*is amused watching the guys dissect women*

Okay, seriously... you two seem to be able to poke fun without being mean. Thanks. :)

:beret:

All my jokes are in fun, Women are great.

Yooper, one thing to keep in mind, if God did not make Eve, Adam would be the only one in the Garden, we would not be here.  So regardless of the Tree issue, Women are important. 

Hey.. i hope i read that the way you meant it... I am not trying to be mean...

Adam didn't have to eat the fruit too... I think he ate it cause he knew what was gonna happen to the woman he loved, and rather than be separated from her, he would rather be with her in whatever future that may have been...

A woman can / should (and better if married to her) hold a special place in the heart of a man.

She, next to God, is his confidence. She can build or tear down his very fragile ego with just one word... or look, or even action.

Men are just little boys who got bigger... little boys love the attention of their mom's, and the acceptance of her, and her appreciation... Men are the same way... only with their wives...

/me thinks the poll should be altered to have a "cookie" option.

Quote from: iridiscente on February 14, 2010, 08:57:18 PM
/me thinks the poll should be altered to have a "cookie" option.

What kind of cookie... you can tell a lot about a person by which kind of cookie they suggest be eaten...!

Chocolate chip is the only option. :P

It's really always a either or with you huh? Either your way or highway... lol...


***thinking of a song about the either or gal***

Be flexible: Double choc-chip fudge is always another option :P...though it depends on your mood....and how much you like chocolate...me...not a huge fan.

*grin* I receieved an email a while back about keeping women happy...it was outrageous and hilarious....I'll post it in a thread after I've edited it a little bit (to remove some inappropriate stuff)

Yeah....make sure the girl knows it's a date...otherwise she'll just assume it's to just hang out as friends...especially if it's after church and you go to the same place everyone else has gone to fellowship.

Years ago, a complete stranger asked me to have a coffee...I saw it as an opportunity to witness to him...didn't even think it might be considered a date...I was just there to tell him about God, and to have a coffee with an acquaintance. I invited him to church...he came once and then, never since.

Quote from: YooperYankDude on February 14, 2010, 04:25:51 PM
But it had all the makings of a date... flowers, car ride... sitting by a nice pretty lake... and lots of laughter... or so he thought... lol

Aren't impromptu dates an option...?

They are fantastic... but only if the girl wants it to be a date.  Right idea, wrong girl.  Depending on the timing, springing a romantic date can scare a girl


Signals are bad, blunt honesty is good assuming all involved are emotionally mature adults.  Anytime someone mentions hints and signals I think of this quote (emphasis added):

Quote"If a man is offered a fact which goes against his instincts, he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe it. If, on the other hand, he is offered something which affords a reason for acting in accordance to his instincts, he will accept it even on the slightest evidence. The origin of myths is explained in this way."
  - Bertrand Russell

I've had guys not comprehend that when I said I wasn't interested, it meant I wasn't interested and that no, I did not want to do anything with him and it was merely a platonic arms-length friendship.  I hate having to not be friendly and sometimes downright nasty simply because I'm worried the guy is going to assault me because I smiled at him and was a good listener.   

Women are confusing and flaky, guys are stubborn and dense  :P

It is good when a girl can actually tell the guy she is not interested... just like the guy should be able to tell the girl, that he is not interested... but does this always happen?

If she tells him, no interest... than the dude should back off... but what if she says that and then still acts as though he belongs to her... even though she rejected his advances... the whole " I don't want him, but don't want anyone else to have him" syndrome...

Are there times when two friends, who for all intents and purposes, both feel like there could be something going on, but both two scared to mention it for fear of rejection?

I have had girls that have tried to date me, and I had no interest, I made it clear, and when they could not get it through their heads, I just acted oblivious to any hints and innuendo.  HA, I know a few of them were really mad at me.  Oh well, you cannot take no, I am not going to be directly mean, but you are not getting anywhere, and it helps to have good friends who found it funny as well.

Glad I have not needed to do that for a while.

Peace is a wonderful thing.

Quote from: Amelia Bedelia on February 15, 2010, 02:59:02 AM
I've had guys not comprehend that when I said I wasn't interested, it meant I wasn't interested and that no, I did not want to do anything with him and it was merely a platonic arms-length friendship.  I hate having to not be friendly and sometimes downright nasty simply because I'm worried the guy is going to assault me because I smiled at him and was a good listener.   

PREACH!! If I had a dollar for every time.... :roll:  Never mind, we won't go there for now. *lol*

:beret:

LOL... well it aint all peaches and cream for the guys either... The Single ladies outnumber the single men something like 4-1... so for every single available guy, there are 4 ladies looking for him!

And... when there are more than one single lady in the church, say like 4 of them, and then a guy moves into the area, or comes in and get the Holy Ghost... it is like "ooohhh, fresh meat!"... it can be quite disconcerting... especially if you don't wish to pursue anything with any of them.

That, and I am not the type of person interested in dating someone just to date, or just because they are there. There needs to be a concrete reason for me dating them, if I am dating them, it is cause I could possibly marry them...

Quote from: YooperYankDude on February 15, 2010, 01:12:04 AM
It's really always a either or with you huh? Either your way or highway... lol...

p´shaw, not even quite. Only in my mind are the lines so clear.

Quote from: iridiscente on February 15, 2010, 07:14:01 PM

Quote from: YooperYankDude on February 15, 2010, 01:12:04 AM
It's really always a either or with you huh? Either your way or highway... lol...

p´shaw, not even quite. Only in my mind are the lines so clear.

And for that we *sigh* in relief... and what kind of noise is this "p´shaw"... not in the dictionary...  :lol:

There should always be some sort of meeting of the minds, but both parties have to LISTEN to the other one. Not just let them talk, but really LISTEN.  So many guys are quiet because they're thinking of what they are going to say but don't hear. Not all, but when it happens, there is all sorts of miscommunication going on.

Quote from: YooperYankDude on February 15, 2010, 09:42:35 PM

Quote from: iridiscente on February 15, 2010, 07:14:01 PM

Quote from: YooperYankDude on February 15, 2010, 01:12:04 AM
It's really always a either or with you huh? Either your way or highway... lol...

p´shaw, not even quite. Only in my mind are the lines so clear.

And for that we *sigh* in relief... and what kind of noise is this "p´shaw"... not in the dictionary...  :lol:

pshaw
interj.
Used to indicate impatience, irritation, disapproval, or disbelief.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/pshaw

Quote from: iridiscente on February 15, 2010, 11:16:27 PM

Quote from: YooperYankDude on February 15, 2010, 09:42:35 PM

Quote from: iridiscente on February 15, 2010, 07:14:01 PM

Quote from: YooperYankDude on February 15, 2010, 01:12:04 AM
It's really always a either or with you huh? Either your way or highway... lol...

p´shaw, not even quite. Only in my mind are the lines so clear.

And for that we *sigh* in relief... and what kind of noise is this "p´shaw"... not in the dictionary...  :lol:

pshaw
interj.
Used to indicate impatience, irritation, disapproval, or disbelief.
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/pshaw

pshaw [pʃɔː]
interj
Becoming rare an exclamation of disgust, impatience, disbelief, etc.
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged 6th Edition 2003. © William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

***Becoming rare... maybe that is why I havent heard it till now... but points to you, cause you have!   :great: ***

I love "p'shaw"!!!  LOL I saw that in use on your facebook and it made me smile

Tee hee.

Yooper, do ya know what "piffle" means? :D

:beret:

I'd like to know what Yooper means...  must be a yankee term.

Quote from: The Purple Fuzzy on February 16, 2010, 03:15:22 AM
I'd like to know what Yooper means...  must be a yankee term.

Well sure am glad ya asked... Yooper is the term people in Upper Peninsula of Michigan use to identify them selves... lol... as far as being a "Yankee" term... nah, just UP'r term... it sound a little nicer than UP'er, lol...

Quote from: SippinTea on February 16, 2010, 02:10:35 AM
Tee hee.

Yooper, do ya know what "piffle" means? :D

:beret:

Yup... and in the dictionary under the definition there is a picture of the Ice Queen...  :laughhard:

J/k...

pif⋅fle  [pif-uhl]  Show IPA noun, verb, -fled, -fling. Informal.
–noun
1.   nonsense, as trivial or senseless talk.
–verb (used without object)
2.   to talk nonsense.


I was gonna say a picture of me... but then everyone would go look to see what this awesome Yooper looks like... (j/k... REALLY!) (about wondering what I look like, not that I am awesome... )

Quote from: Amelia Bedelia on February 16, 2010, 01:28:23 AM
I love "p'shaw"!!!  LOL I saw that in use on your facebook and it made me smile

I am sure your were talkin to Adina... but I just keep thinkin about the book character "Amelia Bedelia" everytime I see you comment... is that a coincidence, or did you plan for people to continually focus on the reason for that name rather than your posts...  ???

Quote from: iridiscente on February 16, 2010, 01:05:54 AM

Southern living earns you loquacity points from the Yooper
finally a use for those redneck expressions that are really more authentic English.

I lived in Texas, in two places... and they didn't use words the way that you do... lol. They were much more simpler, kinda like you'd expect to here in KY or TN... ya         gotta     talk      real     slow, so they understand what ya'll are saying.

I have a deep appreciation for good 'ole southern hospitality... and they have good iced tea... not like that northern tar they try to serve in some parts of the country. More like molasses on a hot day, than a cool refreshing cup of Texas tea in cup full 'o ice, with a lemon wedge... even better if it is mint.

I like picking different accents from different parts of the country and converging them into my own Yooper dialect... was real bad when I spent a month around 100 Canadians from BC... my parents could understand half of what I said, 'course that isn't exactly a rare problem anyhow...

And dont gloat 'cause you got points... ya got them 'cause you knew a word I had never heard of... this is gonna open a can o worms... I can just see it now... lol

Quote from: YooperYankDude on February 15, 2010, 04:44:42 PM
And... when there are more than one single lady in the church, say like 4 of them, and then a guy moves into the area, or comes in and get the Holy Ghost... it is like "ooohhh, fresh meat!"... it can be quite disconcerting... especially if you don't wish to pursue anything with any of them.

I know what you mean about the disconcerting bit. The last thing a recently saved bloke wants to hear is 'welcome to the family of the Lord...watch out for the sharks...oops...I mean (j/k sisters) single ladies' *quickly ducks* :couch:

QuoteThat, and I am not the type of person interested in dating someone just to date, or just because they are there. There needs to be a concrete reason for me dating them, if I am dating them, it is cause I could possibly marry them...

You took the words right outta my mouth, bro.

Quote from: upcchris on February 16, 2010, 06:41:16 AM

Quote from: YooperYankDude on February 15, 2010, 04:44:42 PM
And... when there are more than one single lady in the church, say like 4 of them, and then a guy moves into the area, or comes in and get the Holy Ghost... it is like "ooohhh, fresh meat!"... it can be quite disconcerting... especially if you don't wish to pursue anything with any of them.

I know what you mean about the disconcerting bit. The last thing a recently saved bloke wants to hear is 'welcome to the family of the Lord...watch out for the sharks...oops...I mean (j/k sisters) single ladies' *quickly ducks* :couch:

QuoteThat, and I am not the type of person interested in dating someone just to date, or just because they are there. There needs to be a concrete reason for me dating them, if I am dating them, it is cause I could possibly marry them...

You took the words right outta my mouth, bro.

LOL... HILARIOUS!

Actually, at the church I got into, I showed up on a Sunday morning at the beginning of a 5 day revival... so 6 services in all for this former AOG'er at a Onfire Apostolic Church... lol... that is another story entirely.

Anyhow, after the 3rd service (Monday Night) we went out to eat (imagine that, Apostolic going out to eat after church... lol), and pretty much immediately they started asking who I thought was pretty or cute... ugh...

Then the second Sunday I was there, I was standing in the center aisle, and a gal walked up and talked to me for a min or two, and the whole YG was sitting there smiling, and then the guys tried to talk me into liking her... lol... what a fiasco... she was very nice, and we ended up "courting" a couple of yrs later (obviously didnt work out then either!), but it was fresh meat day at the local Apostolic church... lol

Quote from: YooperYankDude on February 16, 2010, 03:17:39 AM

Quote from: The Purple Fuzzy on February 16, 2010, 03:15:22 AM
I'd like to know what Yooper means...  must be a yankee term.

Well sure am glad ya asked... Yooper is the term people in Upper Peninsula of Michigan use to identify them selves... lol... as far as being a "Yankee" term... nah, just UP'r term... it sound a little nicer than UP'er, lol...

Upper peninsula (Of Michigan)  A person who lives in the Upper peninsula = upr, or Yooper! Simple

Quote
Upper peninsula (Of Michigan)  A person who lives in the Upper peninsula = upr, or Yooper! Simple

YEA! Someone else who knows of the FAMOUS Yoopers... lol... ever heard any of the Silly Songs by the Yoopers? A real band (not christian...) named the Yoopers, sings about life as a Yooper... such amazing ballads such as the "Tirdy Point Buck...", and the "Second Week of Deer Camp"... lol... completely hilarious nonsensical fluff... LOL...

Now that you mention it, I think I HAVE heard of them. Something about a Christmas song? ? ?

Quote from: Amelia Bedelia on February 16, 2010, 01:28:23 AM
I love "p'shaw"!!!  LOL I saw that in use on your facebook and it made me smile

You just made me smile too. :)

Quote from: Sis on February 16, 2010, 09:18:07 PM
Now that you mention it, I think I HAVE heard of them. Something about a Christmas song? ? ?

I am sure they do, they usually hit the radio tunes during the holidays... I am gonna do some research on it...

I  have heard the thirdy point buck one...

They have a ton more... but that is one they play up here almost non-stop... lol

Quote from: YooperYankDude on February 15, 2010, 04:44:42 PM
LOL... well it aint all peaches and cream for the guys either... The Single ladies outnumber the single men something like 4-1... so for every single available guy, there are 4 ladies looking for him!

And... when there are more than one single lady in the church, say like 4 of them, and then a guy moves into the area, or comes in and get the Holy Ghost... it is like "ooohhh, fresh meat!"... it can be quite disconcerting... especially if you don't wish to pursue anything with any of them.

That, and I am not the type of person interested in dating someone just to date, or just because they are there. There needs to be a concrete reason for me dating them, if I am dating them, it is cause I could possibly marry them...

What war ravaged island nation where most men have died in combat, do you speak of?  I have experienced quite the opposite.

*laugh* Sorry, Randy, but I'm with Yoop on this one. Every one of the singles' events I've been to had a ratio close to that - some even higher.

:beret:

I wanna know where the nearest singles conference is in YOUR area, Randy!  lol  Sounds like a winner for sure.  Seems to me that the single women outnumber the guys most places around here, as well.  Except in my own church right now, where we're about even, but with all the ages and interests being all out of balance so no one really seems to fit well together.

Quote from: RainbowJingles on March 01, 2010, 05:10:58 AM
I wanna know where the nearest singles conference is in YOUR area, Randy!  lol  Sounds like a winner for sure.  Seems to me that the single women outnumber the guys most places around here, as well.  Except in my own church right now, where we're about even, but with all the ages and interests being all out of balance so no one really seems to fit well together.

So did you enjoy the Singles Conference in Visalia,.   Where there are more Married people then anything.  LOL

It was quite strange, Jonathan.  Made me want to organize one myself.  I've incredibly spoiled from the singles conferences that I attended at Bro. Libby's church in Maryland.  They were amazing!

Ya that was what I thought years back when I went there with a few friends.  It was fun to hang with my friends, but not worth the long drive. 

It was just like a normal church service and a couple sessions.  Not that I mind going to a normal (really good, by the way) church service, but I expected SOMETHING to be different at least a LITTLE bit.  SOMETHING should have differentiated it from a normal conference or group of services.  Ya know?

Yea you would expect that on the friday night and Saturday night that it is made clear that this is a singles event, marrieds can buy a CD.   :pound:  Hello, when you are Married, you are no longer single.   

rofl.  Indeed!  Marrieds can buy the CD...  or at least sit in the back or SOMETHING.  lol  I mean, at least let the singles have a reserved section or SOMETHING.  I would have paid money to register if that's what it would have taken.

lol  Wow.  You're smart, Rooster.

Quote from: RainbowJingles on March 02, 2010, 06:32:22 AM
rofl.  Indeed!  Marrieds can buy the CD...  or at least sit in the back or SOMETHING.  lol  I mean, at least let the singles have a reserved section or SOME MEN.  I would have paid money to register, the single guys numbers, if that's what it would have taken.

:o

The only marrieds that belong at the single's conferences are those coming with groups of teens. Other than that, they should STAY HOME!

The one in Maryland was only for ages 18 and up.  Our singles group at church is for ages 21 and up.  No chaperones need apply.  lol

I agree, Sis.  lol

Jonathan: I didn't want the single guys' numbers.  I just wanted to know who should be asking for my number.  lol
As it was, they didn't know if it was safe to ask for mine, so they didn't have the courage to approach me.

Quote from: RainbowJingles on March 02, 2010, 06:23:20 PM
Jonathan: I didn't want the single guys' numbers.  I just wanted to know who should be asking for my number.  lol
As it was, they didn't know if it was safe to ask for mine, so they didn't have the courage to approach me.

:laughhard:

I should have told you to have a shirt made up that said yes, I am single.

Or,

"Ask Me For My Number, Already!!"

Quote from: Newsman on March 03, 2010, 04:15:36 AM
Or,

"Ask Me For My Number, Already!!"

But she already has your number John...  :biglaugh:

 :laughhard: Whoo-eee!... GP is hummin' tonight!

:beret:

Well, she obviously isn't that into me, or she wouldn't be complaining abojut the lack of singles at the singles convention.

And, wasn't she talking to YOU before she called me into the conference call, the other night? Or, were you to distracted by _ _ _ _ , a southern Lady to remember these details?


John  :waving:

Quote from: YooperYankDude on March 03, 2010, 04:41:46 AM

Quote from: Newsman on March 03, 2010, 04:15:36 AM
Or,

"Ask Me For My Number, Already!!"

But she already has your number John...  :biglaugh:

Quote from: Newsman on March 03, 2010, 12:58:57 PM
Well, she obviously isn't that into yoop, or she wouldn't be complaining about the lack of Johns at the singles convention.
But were you at that one, or did you not go...! Maybe she was bemoaning the fact that you missed it!

And, wasn't she talking to YOU before she called me into the conference call, the other night? Or, were you to distracted by _ _ _ _ , a southern Lady to remember these details?
Aye, that she was...  :biglaugh: But as it has already been pointed out more than once, I am not even old enough to be an "Elder Bachelor," and therefore too young for her.


John  :waving:

Quote from: YooperYankDude on March 03, 2010, 04:41:46 AM

Quote from: Newsman on March 03, 2010, 04:15:36 AM
Or,

"Ask Me For My Number, Already!!"

But she already has your number John...  :biglaugh:

:o

:spitlaugh:

:laughhard:

You know, it's one thing to have two guys fighting over you.
It's quite another for them to be fighting to be sure the world at large (or at least GPdom) understands why they could NEVER POSSIBLY end up with you.

:sofachair:

:popcorn:
*watches the battle of wits between two very well-armed men*

Quote from: RainbowJingles on March 03, 2010, 05:31:05 PM
:o

:spitlaugh:

:laughhard:

You know, it's one thing to have two guys fighting over you.
It's quite another for them to be fighting to be sure the world at large (or at least GPdom) understands why they could NEVER POSSIBLY end up with you.
Aww... yoop feels like a jerk now!  :pound: , but i never said never to anyone... lol  :smirk2:  Just figure it isn't likely... with your age restrictions and all... lol

:sofachair:

:popcorn:
*watches the battle of wits between two very well-armed men*

lol  Don't feel like a jerk.  I was just being silly.  Didn't mean for it to come out sounding all pitiful-like.  :roll:

:attackhug: s Yoop

:freaky2:


(more than one way to get a good hug, isn't there?)
:bigcheese:

Quote from: RainbowJingles on March 03, 2010, 06:25:43 PM
lol  Don't feel like a jerk.  I was just being silly.  Didn't mean for it to come out sounding all pitiful-like.  :roll:
LOL...
:attackhug: s Yoop

:freaky2:


(more than one way to get a good hug, isn't there?)
:bigcheese:

:attackhug: s Elona back...  :lol:  and yes there is! lol  :bigcheese:

:attackhug: s too.

My apology.


John

**HUGS** John and Yoop

In all seriousness...  no need for apology, guys!  I was totally playing along with the silliness.

Now back to our regularly scheduled silliness?

I was actually enjoying watching the battle of wits, and I was quite serious when I said you are both quite well-armed.

Then you'll enjoy the point posited 'bout you and the 'youger men' you've dated...oo, la lah! what a concept! I've got to leave town in a while for a distant game, but I have a great leas for my next investigation!  :goodmod:


John :bustamove:

Quote from: Newsman on March 04, 2010, 08:48:56 PM
Then you'll enjoy the point posited 'bout you and the 'youger men' you've dated...oo, la lah! what a concept! I've got to leave town in a while for a distant game, but I have a great leas for my next investigation!  :goodmod:


John :bustamove:

Distant eh?

Game eh?

leas eh?
Would this be a game of cat and mouse in a distant state of California where your getting a new leas??   :freaky747:

Yoop!!!
:spitlaugh:

:laughhard:
Oh
:laughhard:
My
:laughhard:
Stars
:laughhard:


*goes to find the post Newsman was referring to*

And Yoop:
Most of us have learned by now that we do NOT pick on the Chief Investigator's spelling.  It will impede the speed of his investigations or perhaps even put you IN the next one even more.  Few of us want either of those options.  lol

Quote from: RainbowJingles on March 04, 2010, 11:08:16 PM
Yoop!!!
:spitlaugh:

:laughhard:
Oh
:laughhard:
My
:laughhard:
Stars
:laughhard:


*goes to find the post Newsman was referring to*

And Yoop:
Most of us have learned by now that we do NOT pick on the Chief Investigator's spelling.  It will impede the speed of his investigations or perhaps even put you IN the next one even more.  Few of us want either of those options.  lol

LOL... i kinda thrive on attention... lol... I was always the class clown...

:o

Now THERE was some major ammo for our Chief Investigator.
If that doesn't get QFTd in leopard print, I don't know what WILL.

*gives up*

:sofachair:

lol

Quote from: YooperYankDude on March 04, 2010, 11:27:04 PM

Quote from: RainbowJingles on March 04, 2010, 11:08:16 PM
Yoop!!!
:spitlaugh:

:laughhard:
Oh
:laughhard:
My
:laughhard:
Stars
:laughhard:


*goes to find the post Newsman was referring to*

And Yoop:
Most of us have learned by now that we do NOT pick on the Chief Investigator's spelling.  It will impede the speed of his investigations or perhaps even put you IN the next one even more.  Few of us want either of those options.  lol

LOL... i kinda thrive on attention... lol... I was always the class clown...

 :laughhard:

*throws :popcorn: and waits on the :sofachair: for the next investigation to appear*

:beret:

Hmmmm Class clown?  And Elona the clown?  Hmmmmmmmmmmmm    OH INVESTIGATOR! 

:sulk:
Exactly, Sis.

I'm just doomed, I tell you.  Doomed.  *sigh*

Quote from: RainbowJingles on March 04, 2010, 11:44:20 PM
Now THERE was some major ammo for our Chief Investigator.
If that doesn't get QFTd in leopard print, I don't know what WILL.

/me wonders if it is quotes like these that earned 'lona the "cougar" title.

Don't worry about the "cougar" title.  Just keep movin' on.  Nothin' to see here.  Nothin' at all.

:sulk:

Well, well, well................

*meow*  ....so where have I heard that phrase before?

Quote from: YooperYankDude on March 04, 2010, 11:27:04 PM

Quote from: RainbowJingles on March 04, 2010, 11:08:16 PM
Yoop!!!
:spitlaugh:

:laughhard:
Oh
:laughhard:
My
:laughhard:
Stars
:laughhard:


*goes to find the post Newsman was referring to*

And Yoop:
Most of us have learned by now that we do NOT pick on the Chief Investigator's spelling.  It will impede the speed of his investigations or perhaps even put you IN the next one even more.  Few of us want either of those options.  lol

LOL... i kinda thrive on attention... lol... I was always the class clown...

Quote from: RainbowJingles on March 04, 2010, 11:44:20 PM
:o

Now THERE was some major ammo for our Chief Investigator.
If that doesn't get QFTd in leopard print, I don't know what WILL.

*gives up*

:sofachair:

lol

Quote from: YooperYankDude on March 04, 2010, 11:27:04 PM

Quote from: RainbowJingles on March 04, 2010, 11:08:16 PM
Yoop!!!
:spitlaugh:

:laughhard:
Oh
:laughhard:
My
:laughhard:
Stars
:laughhard:


*goes to find the post Newsman was referring to*

And Yoop:
Most of us have learned by now that we do NOT pick on the Chief Investigator's spelling.  It will impede the speed of his investigations or perhaps even put you IN the next one even more.  Few of us want either of those options.  lol

LOL... i kinda thrive on attention... lol... I was always the class clown...

You were a little behind on the draw for that one John... they pointed it out already... lol.   :biglaugh:

'Tis true, but it can't be 'erased' now.. been out of office part of week...basketball playoffs in Tulsa, and political coverage here.


John  :waving:

THAT, my dear Yoop, is what we call QFTing (Quoted For Truth).  *sigh*  It generally means there's an investigation underway.

It appears that he is quoting someone in order to add it to his recent posts until he only has to read through his own posts to remember the ammo for the next investigation.

Quote from: RainbowJingles on March 05, 2010, 06:10:24 PM
THAT, my dear Yoop, is what we call QFTing (Quoted For Truth).  *sigh*  It generally means there's an investigation underway.

It appears that he is quoting someone in order to add it to his recent posts until he only has to read through his own posts to remember the ammo for the next investigation.

Ah hah... now I get it! 

Wow... that was fun!  "Lona the cougar..." er... RJ! We miss you!!

This
thread
is
old.

Quote from: MsJennJenn on January 03, 2011, 03:21:04 PM
This
thread
is
old.

Yes... but it has sentimental value!   :biglaugh: