Ask Burrito

[Roscoe]

We might as well make Burrito's funeral arrangements.. First thing you will learn is , if it needs to be spoken- she'll speak it.

[Melody]

LOL

[Scott]

It might be anything you don't say can and will be used against you!! LOL Some things need to be spoken...

Yup... he is a single guy.  Trust me dude, that will change.

You will be allowed to say what you want, once you are told what you want and when you can say it.   

Once that ring is on her finger and the honeymoon is over - it all changes.  You need to learn the following phrases that will get you threw life safely.

1.) Yes Dear
2.) You are right dear
3.) It's my fault dear
4.) That dress makes you look great
5.) Yes dear
6.) You are right dear
7.) Of course your mom can move in
8.) No, I don't need to visit my family
9.) I hate sports
10.) Yes dear, your burned roast is so much better than my moms
11.) You are right dear
12.) No, I really don't want to go to the men's breakfast at church, I want to stay home with you this morning
13.) Yes dear
14.) You are right dear
15.) I am wrong dear

[Scott]

Remember, is she wants your opinion - she will tell you what it is.

[mini]

My marriage advice for Burrito:  http://mission238.com/forum/index.php?topic=27997.msg951791#msg951791

[Scott]

As you are embarking on this new phase of life - on Aug 10 which as I said before is the same date my wife and I got married in the last century. Let me share a few things with you that I hope will help.

• You will get out of marriage what you put into it.  Just like the concept of sowing and reaping; if you plant corn, you get corn, if you plant beans, you get beans. You cannot plant watermelon and hope to get tomatoes.


• If you want your wife to love you, love her.


• If you want her to wait on you hand and foot, good luck pal, it ain't gonna happen.


• If you don't know how to cook, learn to cook.  My mom and grandmother insisted that I learn to cook before I moved out of the house. By age 13 I was cooking most of the suppers we ate in our family. I hated it back then, today I am pretty glad they did.
  
  My wife brags at work that her husband knows how to cook. Once on a very cold day -30 or so, she was on the bus talking to her bus pals. One lady said it was so cold and she had to thaw out then cook supper for the family. My wife smiled and said " I have homemade chili waiting for me when I get home, my husband is cooking dinner for me".  Trust me Burrito, woman want men to cook for them. 
  
  I have dinner in the crock pot for tonight's supper, she will brag about to someone.


• You will have arguments/disagreements. Get them over and done with sooner than later. Don't let it build or last long. Remember, that face you yelled at?  You need to be able to kiss it later.   


• No matter what, love each other. If she gains 100 pounds or you gain 100 pounds, love each other. If you go bald, if she grows a mustache, love each other.   


• If there is a conflict in her family, let her deal with it - you avoid the situation. It works in the reverse.   


• She is your #1 priority, you are hers. You stick up for her to your family and she sticks up for you to hers.   


• Work out holidays in advance. 


• My wife talks to her sister, brothers, mom on the phone all the time. Don't hinder your wife from talking to her family. If she is in the other room talking on the phone you have free time to play Madden Football or Medal of Honor!     


• Find time for her, don't neglect personal private times.   


• Date Night is important. If all you can afford is a trip to Wendy's on Friday night - do it.  To this day, we try to go out one night per week by ourselves.  Coupon books with buy one get one's are great.  50% off appetizers at Applebee's - God send. 


• Share a meal with her.  We go to Don Pablo's and order a $13.00 meal and an extra plate. There is something about sharing a meal that women like.   


• When at all possible, let her pick where you are eating out at. 


• Watch a chick flick with her once in a while. She will reward you later. 


• Let her drive the car once in a while, try to avoid passing out or crying out in fear. Those are no - no's!   


• Music - she may be country and you may be rock-n-roll; you will have to man up and go to her concert with her. Do not ask her to go to yours, you can tell her you plan to do, but she doesn't have to come if she doesn't want to. Leave her an out, you don't get that out, you have to Man up.  After 10 to 15 years, you can suggest that she take her sister or cousin.   


• You buy her a good Christmas Gift and don't complain if you don't like yours. MAN UP!   


• You don't lose your man card if you let her make some decisions.   


• Never complain about her friends. If she does, listen or point out their positives.  Also, don't complain about her family; if she does, stick up for them. The moment you talk negative - her defensive shields will pop up.     


• Find out what her favorite perfume is - fail safe Christmas gift.   


• Always make a mistake when buying her a dress, blouse or skirt. If she wears a 12, buy an 8. Never ever buy too large.. ever! No I mean it, never. Always and I mean always buy small.
  
  The only time I buy the correct size is in emergencies.  Example: we were in route to a relatives house once and she snagged her skirt in the van and it ripped bad.  I stopped by a store, ran in and grabbed a new jean skirt for her. I was a hero to her - my mom and sister bragged on me (they were with us). Next time I went shopping, I bought small.
  
  Of course, there was that Awkward "odd, he never buys the right size'' to which I say "I got lucky".   

[mini]

Scott:  May I copy that?  Thats pure gold right there...

[Newsman]

A rare bit of non-sarcastic relationship commentary from me -- that was good stuff, Scott!

[Burrito]

As you are embarking on this new phase of life - on Aug 10 which as I said before is the same date my wife and I got married in the last century. Let me share a few things with you that I hope will help.

• You will get out of marriage what you put into it.  Just like the concept of sowing and reaping; if you plant corn, you get corn, if you plant beans, you get beans. You cannot plant watermelon and hope to get tomatoes.


• If you want your wife to love you, love her.


• If you want her to wait on you hand and foot, good luck pal, it ain't gonna happen.


• If you don't know how to cook, learn to cook.  My mom and grandmother insisted that I learn to cook before I moved out of the house. By age 13 I was cooking most of the suppers we ate in our family. I hated it back then, today I am pretty glad they did.
  
  My wife brags at work that her husband knows how to cook. Once on a very cold day -30 or so, she was on the bus talking to her bus pals. One lady said it was so cold and she had to thaw out then cook supper for the family. My wife smiled and said " I have homemade chili waiting for me when I get home, my husband is cooking dinner for me".  Trust me Burrito, woman want men to cook for them. 
  
  I have dinner in the crock pot for tonight's supper, she will brag about to someone.


• You will have arguments/disagreements. Get them over and done with sooner than later. Don't let it build or last long. Remember, that face you yelled at?  You need to be able to kiss it later.   


• No matter what, love each other. If she gains 100 pounds or you gain 100 pounds, love each other. If you go bald, if she grows a mustache, love each other.   


• If there is a conflict in her family, let her deal with it - you avoid the situation. It works in the reverse.   


• She is your #1 priority, you are hers. You stick up for her to your family and she sticks up for you to hers.   


• Work out holidays in advance. 


• My wife talks to her sister, brothers, mom on the phone all the time. Don't hinder your wife from talking to her family. If she is in the other room talking on the phone you have free time to play Madden Football or Medal of Honor!     


• Find time for her, don't neglect personal private times.   


• Date Night is important. If all you can afford is a trip to Wendy's on Friday night - do it.  To this day, we try to go out one night per week by ourselves.  Coupon books with buy one get one's are great.  50% off appetizers at Applebee's - God send. 


• Share a meal with her.  We go to Don Pablo's and order a $13.00 meal and an extra plate. There is something about sharing a meal that women like.   


• When at all possible, let her pick where you are eating out at. 


• Watch a chick flick with her once in a while. She will reward you later. 


• Let her drive the car once in a while, try to avoid passing out or crying out in fear. Those are no - no's!   


• Music - she may be country and you may be rock-n-roll; you will have to man up and go to her concert with her. Do not ask her to go to yours, you can tell her you plan to do, but she doesn't have to come if she doesn't want to. Leave her an out, you don't get that out, you have to Man up.  After 10 to 15 years, you can suggest that she take her sister or cousin.   


• You buy her a good Christmas Gift and don't complain if you don't like yours. MAN UP!   


• You don't lose your man card if you let her make some decisions.   


• Never complain about her friends. If she does, listen or point out their positives.  Also, don't complain about her family; if she does, stick up for them. The moment you talk negative - her defensive shields will pop up.     


• Find out what her favorite perfume is - fail safe Christmas gift.   


• Always make a mistake when buying her a dress, blouse or skirt. If she wears a 12, buy an 8. Never ever buy too large.. ever! No I mean it, never. Always and I mean always buy small.
  
  The only time I buy the correct size is in emergencies.  Example: we were in route to a relatives house once and she snagged her skirt in the van and it ripped bad.  I stopped by a store, ran in and grabbed a new jean skirt for her. I was a hero to her - my mom and sister bragged on me (they were with us). Next time I went shopping, I bought small.
  
  Of course, there was that Awkward "odd, he never buys the right size'' to which I say "I got lucky".   

Great stuff, I really like the "man up"

[Lynx]

Now for the most important question:  How is the upcoming marriage going to affect Chel's trips?  Will she:
Take fewer trips?
Take no trips?
Keep gallivanting around the country and drag you along?
Keep gallivanting around the country solo?

Many people are somewhat nervous about this.  The prospect of fewer or (gasp!) no Chel visits at all fits in the "bad things" category.

Also what will your presence do to the spontaneity of said trips?  Will we get more warning that Our Lady Of Short Notice is coming in the future?

[SippinTea]

That WAS good advice.

The one thing I'll add to the list is..... hugs fix an awful lot of things. More than most guys realize. And I mean SILENT hugs - don't try to verbally fix the problem while hugging. Just hold her. Talking it out can wait a bit. Even when you think (or she thinks) it can't.

[MelodyB]

Hes gonna marry CHEL...Im pretty sure he knows how to HUG! LOL

[Scott]

Scott:  May I copy that?  Thats pure gold right there...

sure

[The Purple Fuzzy]

Good job, Scott.

[sunlight]

And this is why GP is my favorite place! Why I have so many of my favorite friends from here!

[Burrito]

Now for the most important question:  How is the upcoming marriage going to affect Chel's trips?  Will she:
Take fewer trips?
Take no trips?
Keep gallivanting around the country and drag you along?
Keep gallivanting around the country solo?

Many people are somewhat nervous about this.  The prospect of fewer or (gasp!) no Chel visits at all fits in the "bad things" category.

Also what will your presence do to the spontaneity of said trips?  Will we get more warning that Our Lady Of Short Notice is coming in the future?

She knows how to budget so she is free to go on trips, just may need to budget for 2. :grin:
We already have a few places in mind... just Time and money...

[Burrito]

That WAS good advice.

The one thing I'll add to the list is..... hugs fix an awful lot of things. More than most guys realize. And I mean SILENT hugs - don't try to verbally fix the problem while hugging. Just hold her. Talking it out can wait a bit. Even when you think (or she thinks) it can't.

Hes gonna marry CHEL...Im pretty sure he knows how to HUG! LOL

Chel will have to answer that one... If I know how to hug or not.

[sunlight]

It took some practice.... :grin:

[MelodyB]

Was he as bad as Seth?

[MsJennJenn]

That WAS good advice.

The one thing I'll add to the list is..... hugs fix an awful lot of things. More than most guys realize. And I mean SILENT hugs - don't try to verbally fix the problem while hugging. Just hold her. Talking it out can wait a bit. Even when you think (or she thinks) it can't.

I don't have anything to add to anything in here except this.....yes....I'm most assured guys have NO clue how much a silent hug can do. Thanks Ruby!

[Scott]

One more very important thing to remember:  Marriage is work, it takes effort and it is not always easy.  In our current society and yes, even in the church too many couples break up and divorce early because a problem hits.

Too many movies and books tell us that marriage and love is ''Happy Ever After'' - that is not always the case. Problems will happen, difficult times will happen, you will get mad at each other, you will get angry at each other and you will say things to each other that you wished later had never come out of your mouth.

This is where the work and effort comes in...

You don't bail, you don't run home to mommy, you don't move out, you don't sleep on the couch, you don't get a different bed room, you don't pick up the phone and call your best friend to whine and complain.

I don't care how good a friend you have - you never ever ever ever for any reason call that friend to tell about any argument or love making. Those two things are off limits.  If you are mad at your spouse,  you don't call to tell someone - that is Junior high and immature.  If you had a wild time in romantic arena the night before, you don't call to tell someone, that is junior high, immature and a sin.  A sin?  Yes you are planting sexual thoughts about your spouse in someone's head.

Marriage takes maturity and hard work.

In the 28 years years (this Aug 10) my wife and I been married, it has not always been easy. Two times we've been homeless, more than once we've been in the E.R. with a child not knowing if they were going to live, die or be crippled for life. We've both lost jobs, had utilities shut off, we know what it is like to own just a couple changes of clothes and have had to go the the Salvation Army for food. There have even been times when we both thought the other was going to die.

Yet on the other hand - we've been on Cruises twice, walked on foreign soil, driven across the country, felt the spray of Niagara falls on our faces, watched baseball, basketball, hockey, football and Rodeo in person. We've heard fantastic concerts, great church services, I baptized both of my sons, we've fished in the Rocky Mountains, sailed on the Atlantic, rode bicycles in Key West, walked in caverns, gold mines, submarines, visited museums, zoos, rode many types of trains. We've shook hands with a U.S. President (Jimmy Carter - wimpy hand shake), met celebrities (sports stars), we've laughed a lot, watched parades in 20 degree weather with snow coming down and so much more. Over the years we've helped people in distress, saved a few people stranded in -30 weather, found a 4 year old girl without a coat walking in -40 weather, protected some battered women and prevented a couple of suicides and watched the sun set on the ocean.

You notice that I mentioned more good than bad?  Marriage is up and down, good and bad, hard and easy - it is work.   The difficult times seemed to last for ever and the fun times seen so short. Take lots of pictures, look at them often and remember them when things go bad.

Learn to laugh and tell jokes.  Laugh at yourselves, laugh at your problems and it is okay to laugh at each other - without being mean.

Work at it, don't bail when the going gets rough. 

[Heather]

Why would anyone move from my beautiful niche of the US of A to Texas? 

I don't trust him already.....

[The Purple Fuzzy]

Texas is the best!

[Roscoe]

Texas is the best...except for Arkansas, which won't let me in to stay!

[The Purple Fuzzy]