Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. -Steven Wright
Started by taco_harvell, March 29, 2018, 11:19:40 am
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Quote''Care Package Agreement of 2010In a meeting of the minds which will henceforth be known as "The Founding Documents", YooperYankDude and taco_harvell which from henceforth will be known as the "The Founding Bachelors" have set into the public record "The Care Package Agreement of 2010". This poor college student and this unemployed missionary to ORPHANS, being of great intellect and empty stomachs saw the need for said agreement. Also, knowing that "Apostolic Women Can Cook", saw a way of supplying this urgent need.We place the following into public record:The Founding Bachelors set forth the request for care packages from all Apostolic Women. These would include but are not limited to items such as brownies, sweet potato pies, pecan pies, and various other tasty treats. Which will be accepted as a no strings attached care offering to the poor college student and the unemployed missionary to ORPHANS.These same care packages should not contain poisons, bombs, or any person. Although after much thought if the bomb or poison is hidden inside a tasty treat, we are willing to take some risk.To all married men who are to henceforth be known as "Former Bachelors", you know our plight so we will accept all care packages you can convince your wives to send as well.If a package arrives and appears to have "strings" attached or if we believe there to be a person inside we are not above marking a package "Return to Sender". This will henceforth be known as the "No Thanks Clause".If you are a stalker please let us know so we can give you the address of a bachelor of our choosing.If you are the rare Apostolic female that can't cook we don't feel this should cause you to feel left out of such a great undertaking. So we have decided all gift cards for food or food-related products shall be accepted in lieu of a care package, and shall henceforth be known as "The Please Don't Kill Us Clause".All other bachelors may sign onto this agreement with the understanding that as the "Founding Bachelors" we will require equal amounts of said care packages be sent to us. If we find that said requirement is not adhered to we will have to remove said bachelor from all future care package agreements.You may ask "What's in this for me?". Well, we are not bachelors who are just willing to take and not give something in return. For every care package received the sender shall receive a phone call of thanks, or an autographed photo of the empty plate or dish once the treats have been consumed. This shall be known as "The Gratitude Clause". However, request for this picture implies no poisons were sent so we are still alive to take and sign said photo.The Founding Bachelors reserve the right to make amendments to this agreement without notice.Your Hungry FriendsThe Founding Bachelors"
Quote from: mini on March 29, 2018, 01:03:05 pmI remember this. I was upset because bachelors were getting free food.Miss those guys.
Quote from: Lynx on March 29, 2018, 05:51:52 pmNow I'M upset because I'm not getting in on all these free goodies...
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