• Welcome to Godplace/Mission238 forums. Please login or sign up.
 
December 11, 2019, 02:19:30 pm

News:

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. -Steven Wright


Ask Mr Minnesota

Started by Sis, March 29, 2008, 04:09:41 pm

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

sunlight

  :attackhug: Be full of hugs!

Lynx

It was too late anyway. They all frantically reached for the disconnect when they heard the callsign. They never got to hear the singing.

Once bitten twice shy y'know.  :biglaugh:
"Do you sing at church?"
"Yes I sing at church, I sing at home, at work, in the car, at the supermarket, at Wal-Mart..."
:sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing:

mini

Has it really been 2+ years since I blessed you with my (lack of) wisdom?  Anyone need enlightened? 
DISCLAIMER: All rights reserved. Meant for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Not necessarily the view of this website. This supersedes all previous notices.

I wonder if we made a wax figure of Mini, and then melted it, if we'd get Roscoe... -MellerYeller

Roscoe

Quote from: mini on December 15, 2017, 08:28:56 pmHas it really been 2+ years since I blessed you with my (lack of) wisdom?  Anyone need enlightened? 
Yes. We always need enlightenment.
Potstirrer and snoop extraordinaire   "I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world."- Thomas Edison

The Purple Fuzzy

Or maybe another story...

mini

Quote from: The Purple Fuzzy on December 16, 2017, 11:36:42 pmOr maybe another story...

I told Roscoe I had a story idea.  Ill see if I can get it all out and typed.
DISCLAIMER: All rights reserved. Meant for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Not necessarily the view of this website. This supersedes all previous notices.

I wonder if we made a wax figure of Mini, and then melted it, if we'd get Roscoe... -MellerYeller

mini

Quote from: Roscoe on December 16, 2017, 10:08:23 pm
Quote from: mini on December 15, 2017, 08:28:56 pmHas it really been 2+ years since I blessed you with my (lack of) wisdom?  Anyone need enlightened? 
Yes. We always need enlightenment.

Daily Enlightenment:  If you are at Roscoe house, and he is showing you his HAM radio stuff, pretend his computer mouse is the mic and talk to it.
DISCLAIMER: All rights reserved. Meant for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Not necessarily the view of this website. This supersedes all previous notices.

I wonder if we made a wax figure of Mini, and then melted it, if we'd get Roscoe... -MellerYeller

sunlight

What is the opposite of condemnation?
  :attackhug: Be full of hugs!

dnr1128

Sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.

mini

Quote from: sunlight on January 05, 2018, 05:28:06 amWhat is the opposite of condemnation?
Quote from: dnr1128 on January 05, 2018, 06:09:43 pmExoneration.  
I agree.  Its the not guilty charge and no fear of more charges when you should have been sent away to death.
And more simply, free.  Free from guilt, doubt, fear, anxiety.
DISCLAIMER: All rights reserved. Meant for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Not necessarily the view of this website. This supersedes all previous notices.

I wonder if we made a wax figure of Mini, and then melted it, if we'd get Roscoe... -MellerYeller

okieoliveoyl

January 05, 2018, 07:14:21 pm #285 Last Edit: January 05, 2018, 07:24:08 pm by okieoliveoyl
Quote from: mini on December 20, 2017, 03:22:02 pm
Quote from: Roscoe on December 16, 2017, 10:08:23 pm
Quote from: mini on December 15, 2017, 08:28:56 pmHas it really been 2+ years since I blessed you with my (lack of) wisdom?  Anyone need enlightened? 
Yes. We always need enlightenment.

Daily Enlightenment:  If you are at Roscoe house, and he is showing you his HAM radio stuff, pretend his computer mouse is the mic and talk to it.

don't talk sing....and only if it is a song about a Rose....  :laughhard:  :hypocrite:
Gods Promise: "This to shall pass"  not "and it came to stay"

okieoliveoyl

Quote from: mini on December 18, 2017, 10:22:39 pm
Quote from: The Purple Fuzzy on December 16, 2017, 11:36:42 pmOr maybe another story...

I told Roscoe I had a story idea.  Ill see if I can get it all out and typed.

I have one of your stories to share....it's about a plunger.......
Gods Promise: "This to shall pass"  not "and it came to stay"

Roscoe

Quote from: okieoliveoyl on January 05, 2018, 07:23:34 pm
Quote from: mini on December 18, 2017, 10:22:39 pm
Quote from: The Purple Fuzzy on December 16, 2017, 11:36:42 pmOr maybe another story...

I told Roscoe I had a story idea.  Ill see if I can get it all out and typed.

I have one of your stories to share....it's about a plunger.......
SHARE! (Or be banned, sayeth the Grand Pooba. :hypocrite: )
Potstirrer and snoop extraordinaire   "I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world."- Thomas Edison

okieoliveoyl

AT THE REQUEST OF THE GRAND POOBA HIMSELF....HERE YA BE.



THE GLORY HALLELUJAH PLUNGER

This is one of those stories that you look back on and laugh, but at the time, you are embarrassed to speak of it.  Like the time you fell in love with your first crush just to find out that they were really your cousin.  Unless you are in Arkansas, in which case, its perfectly normal.

We had been having intermittent sewer problems for a few weeks.  You might do a load of laundry, and the sink would gurgle.  Or if you took a shower, it was slow to drain.  Or if you flushed the stool, the sink would let out a low moan and gurgle that made you think seriously about calling in a priest for a exorcism.

As alpha male, husband, father, and general flunky of the house, it fell on me to fix this problem.  After a week of no laundry being washed, my wife was headed towards anxiety meds.  I was headed for a encounter with being shot, so I decided to get motivated and fix this problem.

My first step was to buy a plunger.  We had a perfectly good plunger, but alas, my son decided the dog needed to be a unicorn, and chased the dog around the house one afternoon.  The dog developed a unhealthy hatred toward plungers, and one night attacked and destroyed our faithful plunger.
The store had replacement plungers for $4.99.  But as any good store will do, they had a display, surrounded by lights, bright colors, and a church choir singing the Hallelujah Chorus of this plunger contraption that was "guaranteed to unclog any toilet." 

I had to have it. 

And it was only $39.99. 

My wife looked at me, the plunger, the price, and repeated the process about 14 times.  I told her that 1) we needed one, and 2) it was guaranteed to unclog the drain.  She rolled her eyes, looked at her phone where she had stored the local plumbers phone number, and looked back at me. 
I assured her I could do it.

When we got home that afternoon, I took my super plunger out for a test run.  Immediately, I realized one plunge from that thing sent enough air out to knock a elephant flat at 900 yards.  If you accidently had that thing down and it got a hold of your skin, it would leave a hickey that would make a pirate blush.   This was no amateur attempt at making a plunger.  A seriously demented plumber must have designed this thing.
One quarter of a plunge later, I had managed to shoot a four foot stream of water back out the shower drain.   

I decided right then, I needed to call in the big guns.  Namely, my dad.

My wife, in the bedroom at the moment, didn't see a thing.  If she had, she would have called the plumber.  But I knew my dad and I could handle it.
Dad is one of these jack of all trades who can fix anything. 

I know, I should have called him first, but I was confident in my own abilities.  Now I knew I was out of my league.

In a few minutes he was at our house, and after walking him through the customary "this is what its doing when we do that", he asked if I had checked at the clean-out.  Of course, I hadn't.  That's why I called him.

Most modern sewers have a clean-out so that you can clean your pipes.  Clog under the house?  Roots in the pipe?  Open the cleanout, run a sewer sake, and clean it out.

We walked outside, next to the house, and started to unscrew the cap on the clean-out.

At that moment, unbeknownst to us, my wife walked into the bathroom, saw my new glory hallelujah plunger, and decided to give it a go.  So, with everything in her, and all 120 pounds of her 5' 4" frame, she gave it a plunge.

And at that exact moment, the sewer clean-out cap blew off.  It sent a gusher of sewer 40 feet up in the air, covering dad and me.  At least I think it was 40 foot high.  We were both knocked flat on our backs.  My first thought was old faithful, followed quickly by "Dear Lord, this is where I meet you."

I looked at dad, he looked at me, and we both stood staring at each other slack jawed, stunned, dripping wet, and smelling like you know what.

I humbly went to the front door and asked my wife to call the plumber.

Later that night, my wife mentioned trying the plunger out, and I realized what had happened.  I still haven't told dad.  Hes been telling his buddies about our sewer pressure, and they have been amazed. 

No use in ruining a good story with facts if you ask me.
Gods Promise: "This to shall pass"  not "and it came to stay"

okieoliveoyl

Please let it be known.. I cannot attest to the truth of the above story.  Please keep in mind it was written by the Great Minnie Soda himself.  Therefore, any and all words should be read with a grain of salt. HA!
Gods Promise: "This to shall pass"  not "and it came to stay"

mini

I shared that somewhere.... lol
DISCLAIMER: All rights reserved. Meant for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Not necessarily the view of this website. This supersedes all previous notices.

I wonder if we made a wax figure of Mini, and then melted it, if we'd get Roscoe... -MellerYeller

dnr1128

Quote from: mini on December 20, 2017, 03:22:02 pm
Quote from: Roscoe on December 16, 2017, 10:08:23 pm
Quote from: mini on December 15, 2017, 08:28:56 pmHas it really been 2+ years since I blessed you with my (lack of) wisdom?  Anyone need enlightened? 
Yes. We always need enlightenment.

Daily Enlightenment:  If you are at Roscoe house, and he is showing you his HAM radio stuff, pretend his computer mouse is the mic and talk to it.

Then throw it down and say "well the bands must be dead"
Sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.

Roscoe

Quote from: dnr1128 on January 08, 2018, 02:57:42 pm
Quote from: mini on December 20, 2017, 03:22:02 pm
Quote from: Roscoe on December 16, 2017, 10:08:23 pm
Quote from: mini on December 15, 2017, 08:28:56 pmHas it really been 2+ years since I blessed you with my (lack of) wisdom?  Anyone need enlightened? 
Yes. We always need enlightenment.

Daily Enlightenment:  If you are at Roscoe house, and he is showing you his HAM radio stuff, pretend his computer mouse is the mic and talk to it.

Then throw it down and say "well the bands must be dead"
:lol:
Potstirrer and snoop extraordinaire   "I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world."- Thomas Edison