Relationship Questions

[Cody P]

I have been thinking the last few weeks about relationships. I have never dated a apostolic/pentecostal girl.  And I was just wondering if anyone else out there feels like God wants you to be single the rest of your life?

[newkris]

would that be such a bad thing? 

once you come to accept the fact that you may never marry and find ways to be happy without a "significant other" you will find yourself happy in whatever state God puts you.

[TRAV]

I have been thinking the last few weeks about relationships. I have never dated a apostolic/pentecostal girl.  And I was just wondering if anyone else out there feels like God wants you to be single the rest of your life?

Try dating an apostolic/pentecostal girl. You might change your mind about the whole "eternally single" thing.

[Cody P]

I would but I cant find any that is interested in me.

[TRAV]

I would but I cant find any that is interested in me.

What is it that people in general like about you? That's what girls will like anyway. Shoot for the stars!

It was interesting that you specifically mentioned "apostolic/pentecostal" girls. It shouldn't make a difference. If non-pentecostal girls like you, then pentecostal girls will like you. They are the same human beings, just hopefully a bit more spiritually aware.

[Newsman]

Lady Newkris,

  Of course it's not great being single without prospects , unless
1) God has called you to be single
--or----
2) You are single at a particular point in your life for a particular and non-permanent purpose..either personal or God preparing you for something.

That said, UPC guy, I have found, in general, women like a guy who is friendly, not stuck on himself, but with the self-assurance to be able to ask someone out, who can with grace accept either a 'yes' or a 'no' answer.

Getting a date is one thing..treating a woman like the Lady she is will be your best chance of getting second and subsequent dates.

Good luck!


John  

[apsurf]

I would but I cant find any that is interested in me.

I know that feeling...

[newkris]

Lady Newkris,

  Of course it's not great being single without prospects , unless
1) God has called you to be single
--or----
2) You are single at a particular point in your life for a particular and non-permanent purpose..either personal or God preparing you for something.

That said, UPC guy, I have found, in general, women like a guy who is friendly, not stuck on himself, but with the self-assurance to be able to ask someone out, who can with grace accept either a 'yes' or a 'no' answer.

Getting a date is one thing..treating a woman like the Lady she is will be your best chance of getting second and subsequent dates.

Good luck!


John  

i guess i was trying to say that if you're not happy with who you are . . . . and what life has brought you . . . then you probably won't be happy in a relationship either. 

if you are happy with who you are and your lot in life, you automatically become more attractive to other people and you might possibly find it easier to find someone to date and begin a friendship with.  and if you don't find someone interesting enough to date . . . then you're happy with life in general and you'll be okay without a date.

at least, that's what i think in my "mom's opinion" 

[sunlight]

if you are happy with who you are and your lot in life, you automatically become more attractive to other people and you might possibly find it easier to find someone to date and begin a friendship with.  and if you don't find someone interesting enough to date . . . then you're happy with life in general and you'll be okay without a date.

Wow, i like that! what a statement, mind if i quote you on another site?

[apsurf]

i guess i was trying to say that if you're not happy with who you are . . . . and what life has brought you . . . then you probably won't be happy in a relationship either. 

if you are happy with who you are and your lot in life, you automatically become more attractive to other people and you might possibly find it easier to find someone to date and begin a friendship with.  and if you don't find someone interesting enough to date . . . then you're happy with life in general and you'll be okay without a date.

at least, that's what i think in my "mom's opinion" 

The part in bold, I have found isn't always true...even when I was happy in the lot I have in life...then there still wasn't anything to be found.  But then again, I have gotten where I don't really care either way any more!!!! LOL!

[newkris]

go ahead and use the words if you find them helpful, sunlight. 

and nwlife, it's not that you are "guaranteed to find your mate" it's more like . . . you are content with where you are and who you are and so if someone is interesting to you, you will be more interesting to them if you are happy.  does that make sense?  there may or may not be someone eligible and interesting around you, but you'll be okay with that because you are already content.

at least . . . that's what i see from my aged perch.   

[apsurf]

actually nothing really makes sense any more.....

[Cody P]

The problem I am really having is that all the apostolic / pentecostal girls in my area are either dating someone or they are to young for me. I have had several girls tell me that was old enough for me that I wasnt there type one reason being that I am not skinny. Which I dont belive is really fair because you shouldent judge someone by there looks.

[Backseat Radio]

I have been thinking the last few weeks about relationships. I have never dated a apostolic/pentecostal girl.  And I was just wondering if anyone else out there feels like God wants you to be single the rest of your life?

I've been faced with the possibility that God wants me to be single the rest of my life.  That doesn't mean I don't sometimes ache watching my peers marry off and start their family.

Apparently some remain unmarried for the kingdom's sake...

Matthew 19:12  For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

The problem I am really having is that all the apostolic / pentecostal girls in my area are either dating someone or they are to young for me. I have had several girls tell me that was old enough for me that I wasnt there type one reason being that I am not skinny. Which I dont belive is really fair because you shouldent judge someone by there looks.

If they're judging based on looks they're not the sort you want because they're still immature.

[Sis]

Look around you. There are lots of overweight people with a mate. Many (I hate to use the word but...) homely people have mates.

It's not the looks. You must project yourself as unworthy or not sure of yourself.  People don't like to be around that. Do you try too hard?

You need to let your true personality show. Don't be concerned with how you look or what you are. Be interested in others. That's what usually draws people together.  I'll tell you that people who are concerned with others will have friends all around them. One day one of those friends can become more than that, but you need to get to know people and what they're interested in first.

Now, you all are pretty young to be worried. If you were 50-60, that would be different. I know many people who didn't get a serious relationship going until they were in their 30s, and now they are more settled and really happy.

Spend your time on group outings in the meantime. Don't cut yourself off because you're not a couple. That's how hermits get started! LOL 

[Chseeads]

I have been thinking the last few weeks about relationships. I have never dated a apostolic/pentecostal girl.  And I was just wondering if anyone else out there feels like God wants you to be single the rest of your life?

I'm planning on being single the rest of my life.  Not because I think it's something "God wants" for me, but it's what I want compared to the alternatives.

[Cody P]

Well I dont really try to hard. I am thinking about joining a apostolic/pentecostal dating website. However im not sure what my philosphy is on that.

[Sis]

I donno. It just seems coming in here looking for women, and going to dating sites sounds desperate to me. Relax. Go out and find a way to meet people in real life.

[Cody P]

I am currently doing that also. However it isnt working that well for some reason. I need someone with connections. lol.

[Chseeads]

I don't think finding a relationship is worth the hassle. 

But I'm not a good one at all to give positive advice about such things, so if you want someone to encourage your search, don't listen to me.  lol

[Cody P]

Oh ok well dont feel bad. I have had nothing but bad luck usually with the whole dating scene.

[Chseeads]

Well, I can kinda sympathize with that.

[Cody P]

lol yea join the club.

[*~Trina~*]

Whether looking online or at youth gathering, its a lot of how you present yourself the first time you talk to someone.  you cant talk to them and right away know that you are falling for them.  you have to take things slow.  I think you have to try being friends first and let God do the rest.  


as far as bad luck in the dating scene -- me too!!  lol

[Cody P]

I know Trina , I am sorry for coming onto you so quickly, please forgive me.