ISG's Testimony.

[IowaSkirtGirl]

I've been reading about how to do a testimony. I've never really read anyone's and I only read a few articles on the "order" and such. So this might be a little jumbled, hard to follow, and extremely personal and emotional. I know none of you will think less of me for the person I've been.

Here goes....

My childhood was riddled with disappointment. The man my mom was with the longest, that I called my "dad" was a drug dealer. Not a side business with real job, that was his job. So I was exposed to drugs at a very young age. With that came alcohol and parties. My little 8 year old world fell apart when they divorced. It was a horrible thing. My mom cheated. My dad hit her, a lot. So then we are going to skip about 10 years of my life, I did normal kid things, my mom WAS a pretty heavy drinker and drug user then. I started drinking off and on in middle school. Sneaking shots before I went to school and refilling the bottles with water. I was 17 the first time my mom actually gave me a drink. I grew up in a house that after that it was alright for me to drink if I asked and stayed home.  My mom went from abusive relationship to abusive relationship. I got married as soon as I turned 18. I moved as far away and as fast as I could. I cheated on my then husband before and during our marriage. It lasted 18 months before he decided he'd had enough. I spent every penny we had partying with my friends and he had met someone who was a lot nicer than me. I tried to kill myself when he told me. That was the first of a long string of serious mental illness. He sent me packing. I went back to Kansas to live with my "dad". Who was then manufacturing methamphetamine. I got a job working nights at a gas station and other nights at a bar. I drank more, did more drugs. Life wasn't so great. I ended up back with my mom in IL and found a job, a new better boyfriend, and a new "club" scene. Not good. Lost that boyfriend, found another, lost that one, found my way to Iowa. Found husband 2. Insert hospitalization 1-3 for suicide. I spent 18 hours plus in a coma. He left me. Decided he didn't like women. It devastated me. Insert boyfriends, alcohol, drugs, illegal activities. I was on a very fast downward spiral. So I ran to Chicago. Thinking the man I had been talking to online would save me from it all. Never met him in person, only knew him online and for a few weeks. In the 9 months I lived in Chicago I left the apartment we shared with his mother less than 10 times. I was told what to wear, what to eat, who to talk to online or on the phone. Eventually I had enough and thought I found a way out. He found out. I found out how hard it is to leave. I got out, thanks to my bff coming to get me. So then I ended up back in Iowa. Drinking, drugs, jail, suicide attempts. I walked right back into all of it. It was so surreal at first...I really thought I missed Chicago.

Then I met Nich. He and I had a crazy relationship. I had been back in Iowa less than a month. He was dark and mysterious and had connections. I lived with him at his parents off and on for about 6 months, he and I broke up about once every 3 months. He would threaten to kill himself, cheat on me, and I'd scream and yell then we'd kiss and make up, get drunk, and forget any of it happened. I spent about 18 months of my life doing that. Then around Easter 2009 we were in Walmart and this very nice happy man comes up and starts talking to Nich. Introduces himself to me as  Jay White. He smiles at Nich and says something about me being a keeper and that it was nice to see him with someone normal. Nich later explained that Jay had been the man that had done Bible studies with him when he was in jail. Nich worshiped some weird devil army that I never really understood and thought he was a vampire. Add another year of the off and on again. Then Nich and I broke up for a few months. Eventaully I started talking to him again. I had decided I wanted to go to church, but I hadn't found one that fit, he said he would go to "Jay's Church" if I would go with him. I'm thinking, that might be nice. Nich and I end up back together...and in church.

I remember like it was yesterday the FEAR I felt walking into Apostolic Assembly of Anamosa. I had been told to wear a skirt, so I wouldn't feel out of place, and I didn't and no one made me feel out of place. I tried to sing the songs I didn't know any of the words to. Then came alter call. I remember standing there...in the back...crying. Thinking to myself..Why are you crying? I thought church would make all this better!...Then a very nice lady laid her hand on my shoulder and started to pray for me. *insert five minute pause of typing because I can't see through my tears* I couldn't see anything I was crying so hard. I was sobbing. Nich was looking at me like I was crazy. I remember walking out and it had just rained. This is in early October of 2010. And everything smelled fresh and I couldn't stop smiling...I wanted to run and scream and play. That was an amazing feeling. So that's how I got to church.

I lived with Nich. We both got baptized the Sunday after Thanksgiving 2010. I rarely missed church. He started going with me less and less. We fought about it. I'd lay in bed and read my Bible. It made him uncomfortable. I started having convictions about the way we were living and I wanted to be married. I wanted it to be RIGHT! Soon after the first of the year. I left him. He had given me a beautiful ring on Christmas. He started drinking. He went back to doing drugs. We fought. We fought. We fought. I did get him to go to Watch Night Service. Less than a week later, I was putting everything in bags and boxes. I had went to church that morning for AM service, alone. I prayed and cried and prayed and cried. I wanted the Holy Ghost but I was too afraid to go to the alter. Something in my mind changed that day. I heard a voice say RUN LEAVE GO HOME! When I got to Nich's I packed everything in my car. I cried the 40 minute drive back to church. I told him I still wanted to get married, but I didn't want to live in sin. So until we said I do I wanted to live with Alicia again. He said NO! that wasn't what he wanted. We didn't talk for a few days. He called me crying, saying he'd change, but I needed to come see him right that minute. I said no. He screamed and yelled. I knew he hadn't changed..and wouldn't...

Middle of January on a Sunday Night. I got the Holy Ghost. It was like someone pouring icy hot all over me with a cool fan pointed at my face. Like a million butterflies landing on me at once. It was then that I knew I was on the right path. Everything was clearer and brighter and I felt so real.

In the last 10 months of my life I have paid off over 10,000 dollars in fines from my past, with community service and actual cash. Two of my counts of theft have been dismissed, even though I never paid anything on them.  I have been drug free for over a year. I do still battle being an alcoholic but it's a LOT easier than it was before. I obey the law. I have made such great improvements through Jesus and my church family that my blood family is starting to welcome me into their lives and into their homes. My mom has been drug free since 2001. She and I actually get a long most of the time now, she encourages me to go to church. I can talk to people and look them in the eye because I don't lie. I have been suicide free for over a year. I was recently able to quit taking the meds I was on for Bi-Polar.  The power of prayer is astounding to me. How can anyone not believe in a miracle? I have a greater understanding of what is right and wrong. I feel guilt, remorse and hope. I don't get depressed for months and months, still a few hours here and there, but there are too many wonderful people in my life who love me, especially the man who died for me. Jesus is amazing. I cry a lot more now. Church hits home in my heart a lot.

I have battles to be fought and I know they will be won...with my GPer's, my wonderful family, my amazing church family and friends, and Jesus...how can I lose... Honestly....How...can...I...lose?

[MelodyB]

[Roscoe]

ISG- Awesome testimony. It is stories like yours that make me so thankful for the life I have had, which was a breeze compaired to yours. It also shames me, since I see what you went through and have came out victorious, while I struggled over little things. My dad was an alcoholic as well- not an abusive alcoholic, thank God, but an alcoholic nonehteless. My entire family has that history. And even though I've never drank alcohol in my life, if I get depressed or down, it is (or was) the first thing I thought of. Weird, huh? I was fortunante, in that my Mama had gotten ahold of God  about four years before I was born, and she promised God she would raise me for Him.  And believe me, when Mama made her mind up, all of hell couldn't change it.
   I am so glad to hear of how God has helped you straighten your life out. You see, in my line of work, I've dealt many times with people who have fought the battles you have, but who have never gave in to God. As a result, I watch them slowly self destruct. Good people, who for some reason took the wrong path, and have became what society views as cast-offs. You are one of the fortunate .It is apparent that God has works for you to do- sitting on the pew being a saint, prayer warrior, soul winner, sunday school teacher...... whatever it is, your testimony can take you places with people that I will never be able to reach.
   I am impressed and thankful for you and rejoice with you in God's saving grace. I have in my youth class a young lady that has just recently left the drug scene. It had taken her quickly, to the depths of a suicide attempt that she recovered from. It scared her, and she called her Mama and remembered Mama and Grandma had a connection with God in an apostolic church. I had the unspeakable pleasure of preaching a message a few services ago and seeing her start speaking in tongues as the spirit gave the utterance. No one can tell the tale of forgiveness like one that has been set free. Once again- awesome testimony!

[IowaSkirtGirl]

I needed to write this. There are a lot more details. Horrible memories that I'm not quite ready to face. But I have court again Aug. 22nd. So say a little prayer the judge can see the light shining like everyone else does

[myhaloisintheshop]

Incredible testimony 

[mini]

*looks for the shouting smiley*

DATS SUM GUD STUFF!

Proud of you ISG!

[IowaSkirtGirl]

Thank you all for the support. I used to think being a Christian was soooo easy....it's more of a battle than sin ever was...but it's worth every struggle!

[mini]

ISG, just read this and thought of you:

[17] no weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed,
   and you shall refute every tongue that rises against you in judgment.
   This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD
      and their vindication from me, declares the LORD."
(Isaiah 54:17 ESV)

[Melody]

So powerful sis!  Amazing people have amazing testimonies!  Thank you so much for sharing.

[Niki]

   Praise God! Awesome testimony!

[upcchris]

all I can say is: thank you so much for sharing your testimony, sister. Hearing what God does in people's lives...it's incredible how encouraging it is, it builds up hope, especially hope for those as yet unsaved in our lives.

It took a lot of courage for you to share that with us, and I want to thank you so much for sharing your testimony with us.

I praise God so much for what He's done in your life, and mine also, and all of us. Thank You Lord!!!