If You Ever Lost Him/Her...

[myhaloisintheshop]

Not to dampen your tender moment, Sarba....but I just have to comment....NOW it's all clear why Cletus is the way he is...LOL

I KNEW you or Germ would show up...lol

It was a big fall.....lol....real big....lol

Come on tho....seriously...he married ME---kinda obvious that God is a healer and Clint is in his right fram of mind.

[Newsman]

Umm..or maybe the reverse? he never recovered?


John 

[Jallen]

Losing a family member, especially a young one, brings you face to face with how unnatural death really is. The mind, the body, the spirit... it can't really adjust because it's not supposed to ever have to deal with death. We weren't designed to lose people, we were designed to have new people come into our lives through birth and then have that relationship go on and on forever. Imagine what it's been like for the Lord, watching generation after generation of people He loves pass away.

[sunlight]

To revisit this topic and put a whole new spin on it...

What are your thoughts on people who feel that because they have certain issues health-wise, they make the decision to not get close to anyone, or become a recluse because they are going to- eventually- along with the rest of the population of the earth- die.

or. . .

What are your thoughts on people who counsel others to be careful about who they get in a relationship with because they have ____ health concerns.

[Melody]

those ideas seem to be rooted in fear...

I think it's sad to make decisions without God.  You're bound to lose a great degree of happiness and blessing when one comes to conclusions without seeking God and looking to His Word.

There are people who care more about love than health conditions.  We can't compare what we see in some or even most people or other relationships to a fake, insecurely inspired, relationship that hasn't even occured yet.

Seek God and be honest, that should cover the advice I would think.  It may be a valid issue to take into consideration but not to limit what God can and may want to do.  imo anyway.

[The Purple Fuzzy]

I agree with MY.  If it's God's will, he will make a way.  He can also heal.  Our ways are not his ways. If it came down to it there's also that old saying "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

[Sis]

As I get older (Somewhat. LOL) I want to do as much as I can, health concerns or not. I want to see as many people as I can, build new bridges that I thought I had burned. Organize things for my posterity (Like photo albums).  I want to crochet as much as I can to leave those who might want something of mine. I want to get together, even if it's online, with whom I've lost touch.

I want to help where I can, and quit nit-picking. When I'm about to get irritated about something, I start thinking, what if he/she isn't there tomorrow, how will I feel for blowing my top over something so insignificant?  It could happen to anyone any time. My big car accident showed me how fast your life can be over. One minute I was at Sam's Club angry about someone, the next minute I woke up in a smashed up car. Thank God I woke up. The anger I was feeling might have been my last thought.

I don't want to hole up, I want God to lead me to a shut-in that I can be a friend to. I've wanted that for a long time. There might be one right here in the complex. I've tried to reach out to help in the past, but have been turned down many times, but one of these days someone will want the help.

The trouble would be to convince someone who is depressed and wants to hide away, not to.

[SippinTea]

I'm 100% with MY.

I feel strongly about the honesty factor - as in, I have a friend who wasn't told about her husband's health issues before they got married (intentionally - because he wanted to someone to take care of him while he was dying). I think that was totally wrong of him to do, but she did the right thing and stuck with him.

As long as both people are told the things they need to be told, and as long as they communicate well about the problems (or possible problems), I think it should be a decision the two of them reach together.

Otherwise, one person is making the decision for BOTH of them, and that hardly seems fair.

I suppose there are people who wouldn't want to marry someone with significant health issues, but I know a lot of happy couples who knew something of the risk (for lack of a better word) and chose love over a bigger sense of security.

My two cents.

[Sis]

That's for sure. Even if they marry the person anyway, they made the decision while being informed. I think I  might lose a lot of respect for my husband if he had lied to me about something major.  And not telling something is lying by omission.

[Newsman]

The subject is near to me--as I'm not the healthiest of guys, though many have much worse health conditions, and at least my ego tells me I can still go out and thump heads and take names

It's both a real issue, and can be a cop-out. As the world would say, the odds grow long against my ever having a wife and children, but much of that has been my own fault in not pursuing matters earlier in life.

At the same time, I kniow what I've felt in prayer, and know God is able to give that 'extra 15' (or 30 or 50) years of life. He's also able to give that child in older ages.

Honesty would definintely be a crucual thing, however. Not telling the other person beforehand about such matters would be despicable.


John  

[Newsman]

Oh, and Lady Chel, the second question you had.. I think advising 'caution' to another looking at this _might_ be all right.. but never to _discourage_ them.. does that make sense?

To encourage them to think about it, without overtly OR couched in subtle terms advise them against it.. it's between them and God.

What God has joined together, let no man try to pull apart.


John

[SippinTea]

Oh, and Lady Chel, the second question you had.. I think advising 'caution' to another looking at this _might_ be all right.. but never to _discourage_ them.. does that make sense?

To encourage them to think about it, without overtly OR couched in subtle terms advise them against it.. it's between them and God.

What God has joined together, let no man try to pull apart.


John

Sir John.... that was wonderful advice - and not just for the situation brought up by this thread. I wish more people thought as you do on this one. *sigh*

[Sis]

He's also able to give that child in older ages.

John  

Stevebert had two boys. When we got married he got his girl. He was happy she was housebroken, though. He didn't really want to go through the diaper thing again. LOL

[YooperYankDude]

I guess I have been blessed not to lose too many people I know thus far. I know everyone is gonna die at some point in time, health problems or not. So I figure for me, it is best to spend what time I do have getting to know the people I care about.

But death can hit at any time. About a month ago, there was a guy who was maybe 30 yrs old, with a wife not much younger than him, and 3 small boys that died of complications from Leukemia. He was in church, and so to some degree, I am happy for him, because he has all the answers that I want to know.

But in another respect, now his widow, who was planning to grow old with him died, and his 3 little boys will have to grow up without dad there for all of the major important things in their lives.

My bio-father left when I was little, and I have no real memories of him, but he is still alive at this point in time, not in church, but still alive.

I ache for these youngsters, cause even though it isnt the same situation, not even close, I know how it is to know Dad is never coming home. That's tough on boys, yeah, God has a plan, but still it is difficult.

I would rather love and lose them to God in death, than never love and always wonder what could have been.

I don't know how I would react to losing a wife, or even a child, but it happens to people everyday. Guess I'd rather just focus on what time I do have.