Those Independent Women!

[Ashlee]

I guess

[RainbowJingles]

When? 

[Ashlee]

Hmph!

[RainbowJingles]

That hardly qualifies as an answer, you know.  lol

[nicolejoy]

Also, once we got back to TX, someone else paid for our dinner.  I had to be careful at my reaction although I still didn't sound as grateful as I should have.  I know this isn't exactly the kind of thing that was meant when this thread was started, but it's true.  I think financially is my worst downfall, because I don't want anyone to get me anything or buy me anything.  Although, it's ok for me to spend 100 dollars on you even if I don't have it.  You just can't give me anything in return.  lol.  That's just how I am, but I'm working hard on putting away my pride and being thankful

That's actually a BIG DIFFERENCE between my culture (white Aussie) and my hubby's (professional class Chinese from Hong Kong)

We are more like "Lets go dutch" or "I'll pay this time, you pay next time"... In his culture, people make a bigger deal out of paying. And it's not always "fair" like that. There have been times where we took someone out and my husband insisted on paying, and instead of being grateful, our guest acted like it we should have let them pay instead - that attitude is actually SOOOOOOOO rude and ungrateful in my hubby's culture, where as in mine, it's somewhat normal.

It's also more important in my hubby's culture to REALLY say "thank you" after people buy you a meal - even if it is a sibling or a parent, even if it's "their turn" or something like that. People here in Hong Kong will generally say thank you probably at least 5 times!! It's reeaaallyyy different - but if you don't understand the other culture, it's really easy to be misunderstood, even with good intentions, and then you appear to be rude when you were just being "normal" for your culture.

[Ashlee]

Yeah.  That's why if you're planning to interact with someone of another culture you spend time learning about them. It's so easy to offend if you don't know the culture.

[The Purple Fuzzy]

I could probably unintentionally offend whether I knew the culture or not...

[Ashlee]

True.  However, it does make it easier if you know something about the background of the person you are communicating with.

[The Purple Fuzzy]

For sure.

[Sis]

I could probably unintentionally offend whether I knew the culture or not...

Me, too! Most of the time. I have asked people of other cultures loads of questions. It makes them feel good that you care, that they can teach Americans something while in America, and that you don't want to insult them.

The Arab guy, I babysat for,  cracked up at me when I told him I had studied comparative religions mainly because I didn't want to say anything stupid and insult others.

I did get told off by a ten-year-old when I had handled their family Koran without washing my hands first. Those books are beautiful like the old illuminated manuscripts you see in museums.

[faith2u35]

  i do the same thing, when i am anything but happy and am at the store its like a challenge to me, no i dont need help i have two hands and am perfectly capable of doing what i need to, i think to me it shows a side of weekness they might not intend for it to be that way, when they ask, but if im mad, im thinking , what the heck does this person think im a invalad, when im sick its like, sighhhhh, no i can do it, stubburness bigtime, and when im stressed out its a power issues in my mind, i will take my own groceries ty very much, course them being just nice and helpfull doesnt cross my mind in the least, `lol 

[upcchris]

Stubborness? Did someone say my name?
Lol, it's true, I can be really stubborn about things too, not to an independant stance - as in I can do it myself. Except when at dinner people put stuff on my plate - it's a pet peeve, I can do it myself and I'll take the pportions I want from the dishes I want to eat. But usually I'm not fussed when people do stuff for me.

But when I broke my elbow recently, it was a bit of a lesson in humility and gratitude, I couldn't use my left arm at all, I really had to depend on others to do stuff for me, from assistance with hair, clothes, cutting my meat, and other stuff into bite-size pieces, thankfully I could pull on my uggs without much trouble. But it was a bit embarassing to need the help, when you're used to being self sufficient in the more minor things...but like I said, a lesson in humility and gratitude. And also that you don't know what you have until you don't have it any more, even if it's temporary incapacitation of a left arm.

[RainbowJingles]

Chris?  How on earth did you break your ELBOW?!!??!
Are you okay??

[upcchris]

lol, yeah I'm ok, still can't stretch my left arm out as much as my right and it still gets stiff and sore sometimes, and I still can't pick up heavier objects, I'm sure I posted it on ask upcchris. I broke it on April 1st (yes I broke my funny bone(not really) on April Fools day, only I wasn't fooling) I slipped and fell badly on my lunch break right outside the front door of my work. I could feel myself slipping and put out my hands to regain my balance or to break my fall, neither happened and I landed quite heavily on my arms and fractured my left elbow. I had two months off work and quite a bit of physio to get all better...well mostly. I'm back at work now, praise God! And I can do most of that stuff myself now, again Praise God!

[RainbowJingles]

Goodness!    Sounds like you had a rough time for sure!

**HUGS** Chris

[nicolejoy]

I could probably unintentionally offend whether I knew the culture or not...

I think whenever you have a lot to do with another culture, both sides will "offend" at times - but generally people are understanding and they know you don't mean it and people "get over it" pretty quick! The key is to be adaptable, flexible, willing to learn and do things a bit differently. When people have an attitude "This is how I do it, so this is the best way. I'm not gonna listen to another perspective, EVERYONE I know has ALWAYS done it this way", they can't learn anything from ANY other culture... but when people are curious and interested and willing to learn and try something different, little "mistakes" and misunderstandings are no big deal!!

[upcchris]

Nik, you're post reminded me of a quote by Dr. Jeffers: Blessed are the flexible for they will never get bent out of shape. lol, we watched a dvd BOTT 2007 yesterday and he was preaching on intimacy with God...wow, that was an awesome message.

Aww thanks Elona, at least I got some paid downtime, I'm ok now, but thanks **HUGS**

[nicolejoy]

Blessed are the flexible for they will never get bent out of shape.

Great quote - it's sooooo true... People get aggravated and all that not because of situations, but because of their OWN attitude and mindset...

[Rae]

Blessed are the flexible for they will never get bent out of shape.

Great quote - it's sooooo true... People get aggravated and all that not because of situations, but because of their OWN attitude and mindset...

Tis true!



I read this thread over again. It amused me.