first of all, i want to start out saying that i have a real problem apparently, and that i am having a really hard time knowing how to deal with some of the things coming to a head recently.
The deals:
1. There is a guy who is a few years younger than me at church who is a few fries short of a happy meal who seems to have a fixation with me. It has gotten to the point that I feel very uncomfortable any time he is around, and often times i do not go with my youth group to do things if i know that he is going to be there. I NEED to find a way to get him to leave me alone... but since he is not really all there, I feel really bad just treating him bad until he goes away. I am considering going and talking to his dad, but i dont really know how to tell this guy that his son makes me uncomfortable. :sadbounce:
2. There is this random dude at the drive through at Chicken Express who after taking and delivering my order for sweet tea- comes out and leans on my car and keeps talking to me until its past time for me to be with the group i was supposed to meet... and he ends up telling me all about how he has had a divorce, and how he wants to never get married again, and such, and then askes how i got the scar on my arm, and when i told him how he was like, well why didnt you call me (yeah, i know, i kinda had a hard time following that line of convo myself) and ends up standing there till i would put his number in my phone and call him, so he could get my number. :sigh: (which i guess isnt really that big of a deal cause i can always just ignore all of that till it stops)
3. There are another couple stories but i dont feel like sharing it at this time because i most certanly dont want to seem like i am bragging. maybe in a later post...but the main problem is that i cant seem to find a way to nicely say no and them get the point. Do most guys not understand that no is no? Is there a way to get the point across without being rude... especially to people who just dont understand why?
Another thing i dont get...
Why do some people judge you on what you drive? :banghead: I have gotten a different car recenly, and its amazing how people treat you differently depending on what you drive. Ya know... i kinda like driving my old beat up car around just because its like i dont know... a [hahaha... im not who you think i am] type mentality... hehe!
:o
Tell them you're gonna sick your mama on them! ;)
I have no idea, Chel. Most of the guys I've said 'no' to seemed to think I was issuing a challenge. :roll:
:beret:
And yet another thing i dont get... (this is an old rant... BOL) why do people have to know what you look like before they decide if you are worth talking to or not? grrrr, this one is more of a chat manifestation, but yeah. it grates on my nerves. Its not all about looks people! what about personality? what about character? what about dreams, and aspirations! and initiative, and stuff that's going to last!
Hey, I have a big stick and if that don't work your daddy has something more powerful. But I seriously doubt many guys could make it past a mad mama bear with a stick. :bigcheese:
*laugh* at Sandra. I'm right behind ya with my Daddy's gun. ;)
*pats down Chel's ruffled feathers*
:beret:
:grin: and while im in the ranting mode... lol... whats up with it being so easy to be negative? why is it so much easier to knock somebody down in the ground and then trample them, and then dig a hole and bury them than to know that they are down and in need of encouragement? Why? why? why?
God is love, and we are supposed to be like him, and yet its so hard for us to talk nice? grr...
Quote from: sunlight on December 29, 2008, 08:00:33 AM
And yet another thing i dont get... (this is an old rant... BOL) why do people have to know what you look like before they decide if you are worth talking to or not? grrrr, this one is more of a chat manifestation, but yeah. it grates on my nerves. Its not all about looks people! what about personality? what about character? what about dreams, and aspirations! and initiative, and stuff that's going to last!
The only thing I can say here, is that I can tell alot about a person when I look in their face and see their expressions...
Girlie! You're on a roll tonight! :o
*hands Chel some chocolate and a good book to get her mind off of rants* :lol:
:beret:
Is this the point where I tell you that's it all your own fault for drawing so much attention from men, because you're such a Wonderful and Lovely Lady?
Did I at least get a smile out of that?
Back MANY years ago, I used to ride around with one of my older sisters..she was quite attractive, and the guys noticed.. I remember while one would be talking to her, taking a 12 oz can and turning it into nearly three feet of stringy metal, with my bare hands, then asking what she wanted me to do with it..want me to practice up, and come down and ride around with you? :)
John :waving:
and you know another thing?
Whats the deal of not just letting people be wrong? sometimes its ok to have a different opinion. Just because i think something is pink when its actually maroon... who cares? why argue?
Because you're fun to argue with! :D
And just for the record, the guys in the hallway of the motel did NOT say that!
CHEL! Go to bed! *glare*
:beret:
and another thing... you know, attitude really does have a lot to do with how you go through life. There is a choice to like, or to hate something. I choose to like my job. Its hard, its challenging, and it makes me cry at times... but that doesnt mean that its bad. but the deal is this... if i choose to be happy and like my job, dont be mad at me for it. :grin:
Ya know, someone has told me a million times that if you dont like it, its ok, you dont have to, just do it and get it over with and it will make you stronger from the experience. totally random post i know... but the point of this rant is this... Everyone has things that they dont like to do that have to be done. Everyone has hurts and pains. everyone has things they have to get over in life. Treat them like they are human.
Quote from: SippinTea on December 29, 2008, 08:15:18 AM
Because you're fun to argue with! :D
And just for the record, the guys in the hallway of the motel did NOT say that!
CHEL! Go to bed! *glare*
:beret:
are you sure you wanna open that can of worms? :lol: i would be glad to spill that whole story and get others input as well, but you know they will agree with me... so are you sure you wanna do that? :lol:
Ummm.... :searching:... Maybe I don't. :lol:
:beret:
yeah... :lol:
I dont get it.. guys think your beautiful, and hit on you and you have a problem with that!? lol.. I dont understand girls.
Well, with #1, talk to the pastor. Maybe he will talk to the guy or his parents. Just because he has mental problems, doesn't mean he won't understand the pastor if he asks him to stop bothering you.
I remember in MSN messenger, that guys wanted to know statistics before they'd talk to me. So I'd tell them I was 105. If those empty-headed morons are only looking for a pick-up, they would leave suddenly. The others thought it was interesting to talk to an older person.
You gonna tell Ruby's secrets? I'm ready!
Eric, girls don't like to be "hit on". That implies they just want sex and nothing more. Girls want to be treated with respect. Plus, some of these guys are really pushy. Won't take no for an answer. May even follow her around until she feels like she's being stalked. Not fun, believe me.
na. I wont tell her secrets, and she knows that, but it sure is fun to pick on her, esp when i am making a point. :lol:
I like this thread! Rant on Chel rant on!
:bigcheese:
Quote from: Sis on December 29, 2008, 09:02:10 AM
Well, with #1, talk to the pastor. Maybe he will talk to the guy or his parents. Just because he has mental problems, doesn't mean he won't understand the pastor if he asks him to stop bothering you.
I remember in MSN messenger, that guys wanted to know statistics before they'd talk to me. So I'd tell them I was 105. If those empty-headed morons are only looking for a pick-up, they would leave suddenly. The others thought it was interesting to talk to an older person.
You gonna tell Ruby's secrets? I'm ready!
Eric, girls don't like to be "hit on". That implies they just want sex and nothing more. Girls want to be treated with respect. Plus, some of these guys are really pushy. Won't take no for an answer. May even follow her around until she feels like she's being stalked. Not fun, believe me.
yeah, I could see that.. I guess.. I dunno - I still think its one of those 'girl things' I will never understand! lol.. --- Or maybe theres just a 'creepy limit' where its different if the guy is all fly about it, compared to him knowing your not interested he stares at you continuously like he wants to taste your liver kinda thing..
Quote from: EricShane on December 29, 2008, 11:29:56 AM
Quote from: Sis on December 29, 2008, 09:02:10 AM
Well, with #1, talk to the pastor. Maybe he will talk to the guy or his parents. Just because he has mental problems, doesn't mean he won't understand the pastor if he asks him to stop bothering you.
I remember in MSN messenger, that guys wanted to know statistics before they'd talk to me. So I'd tell them I was 105. If those empty-headed morons are only looking for a pick-up, they would leave suddenly. The others thought it was interesting to talk to an older person.
You gonna tell Ruby's secrets? I'm ready!
Eric, girls don't like to be "hit on". That implies they just want sex and nothing more. Girls want to be treated with respect. Plus, some of these guys are really pushy. Won't take no for an answer. May even follow her around until she feels like she's being stalked. Not fun, believe me.
yeah, I could see that.. I guess.. I dunno - I still think its one of those 'girl things' I will never understand! lol.. --- Or maybe theres just a 'creepy limit' where its different if the guy is all fly about it, compared to him knowing your not interested he stares at you continuously like he wants to taste your liver kinda thing..
right. exactly.
Right. Exactly. Times 2. :lol:
I.E. the guy that comes to my church every Christmas. *shudder*
Eric, the only way I know how to explain the difference between creepy staring and a guy that's showing genuine interest is: one of them makes you feel leered at and stalked and, in a sense, violated... the other leaves you feeling that while they may fully appreciate what they see, you're valued for more than just one thing.
:beret:
Chel, Darlin, if you'd just marry me and get it over with, then you'd have a plain reason you could tell all these other losers that are bothering you. :ugly:
Quote from: EricShane on December 29, 2008, 11:29:56 AM
yeah, I could see that.. I guess.. I dunno - I still think its one of those 'girl things' I will never understand! lol.. --- Or maybe theres just a 'creepy limit' where its different if the guy is all fly about it, compared to him knowing your not interested he stares at you continuously like he wants to taste your liver kinda thing..
EEEWWWW! Sounds like Lecter is watching! *Shiver*
It used to be considered rude for guys to whistle and make mention of a girl's appearance in public (If he didn't know her) They used to call these guys wolves. It makes a girl feel creepy if some complete stranger whistles or makes coments like, "Hey baby wanna go _________!" (Whatever)
Quote from: Sis on December 29, 2008, 07:17:12 PM
Quote from: EricShane on December 29, 2008, 11:29:56 AM
yeah, I could see that.. I guess.. I dunno - I still think its one of those 'girl things' I will never understand! lol.. --- Or maybe theres just a 'creepy limit' where its different if the guy is all fly about it, compared to him knowing your not interested he stares at you continuously like he wants to taste your liver kinda thing..
EEEWWWW! Sounds like Lecter is watching! *Shiver*
It used to be considered rude for guys to whistle and make mention of a girl's appearance in public (If he didn't know her) They used to call these guys wolves. It makes a girl feel creepy if some complete stranger whistles or makes coments like, "Hey baby wanna go _________!" (Whatever)
right, but the Hood has changed these days.. The sanctity of everything is different.
Quote from: Chseeads on December 29, 2008, 05:47:50 PM
Chel, Darlin, if you'd just marry me and get it over with, then you'd have a plain reason you could tell all these other losers that are bothering you. :ugly:
:o
Quoteright, but the Hood has changed these days.. The sanctity of everything is different.
Not in some circles. Maybe in the ghetto it's acceptable, but not in "nice" company.
*HUGS* Chel
See, you could be like me, and be so repulsive that no guy ever stalks you of makes you feel uncomfortable...well, there was Mickey. *shudder*
you're not repulsive mel!!! oh my word
I didn't understand it either in similar situations but my mom said it was probably more the Holy Ghost and goodness shining through that made me such a novel concept to these guys and they'd get fixated... made me feel better anyway, that these losers weren't really thinking I was on a level with them relationshipwise - kind of insulting if you're trying to be a classy lady and some creep honestly approaches you... like did he really think it would be acceptable?!?!?
I think you're like me and too kind and caring... save that for women and children. give guys the arched brow, I see right through your lame self and am not impressed treatment.
I told one sorry case to basically get over himself, be a man and straighten out his life, don't give me a sob story... I refuse to be a sympathetic ear to some people
Nuturing types attract all the stray dogs... but doesn't mean you have to agree to it... save your nuturing for a man that deserves it and not the dogs out there - once u get that mindset and vibe down they back off
/me plots and plans.
Quote from: sunlight on December 30, 2008, 06:06:30 AM
/me plots and plans.
Who should be worried? :eyebrow:
:beret:
someone should... thats for sure... :freaky2:
Okay, I need to borrow your rant thread for a minute, Chel. Do you mind? If so, just ignore my post and move on. ;)
Why do people feel the need to give un-asked-for advice, and why do they feel compelled to studiously point out things they perceive as 'red flags' or dangers in someone else's life? If I listened every time someone said they saw a 'red flag' in my life, I couldn't do anything at all. Sometimes I just have to get alone with God for a while until I REALLY hear from Him. And I'm finding more and more that I have to tune out all the voices around me, and really, really listen for His still small voice. That's the only safe voice to listen to, anyway. Because no matter how much someone cares about me or my situation, they can't possibly know the future like He does. And I'd be a fool to listen to doomsday prophets all the time, and live in fear of everything they say will/could/might happen.
I guess I'd like to be known as someone who encouraged people and gave them hope. Not someone who constantly pointed out everything of concern and danger.
Blah.
Okay, I'm done for now. You can have back your thread. ;)
:beret:
I totally know what you mean. And I am pretty sure I know what you are referring to, at least one thing that triggered that, and I felt the same why when I saw it a few mins ago. :smirk2: Im with you...if it is God telling you, then it is no one elses business. Its you and God.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you know too. :smirk2:
Maybe I need to go stick my head in a lake somewhere so I won't take someone's head off. *siiiiiiiigh*
It's just plain wrong, that's all. And I'm afraid I'm human, and it made me really angry.
*mumbles: think happy thoughts, think of things you're grateful for, think of Jan 1, think of hugs, think of... something, anything, other than that*
:beret:
Quote from: SippinTea on December 30, 2008, 07:14:51 AM
Okay, I need to borrow your rant thread for a minute, Chel. Do you mind? If so, just ignore my post and move on. ;)
Why do people feel the need to give un-asked-for advice, and why do they feel compelled to studiously point out things they perceive as 'red flags' or dangers in someone else's life? If I listened every time someone said they saw a 'red flag' in my life, I couldn't do anything at all. Sometimes I just have to get alone with God for a while until I REALLY hear from Him. And I'm finding more and more that I have to tune out all the voices around me, and really, really listen for His still small voice. That's the only safe voice to listen to, anyway. Because no matter how much someone cares about me or my situation, they can't possibly know the future like He does. And I'd be a fool to listen to doomsday prophets all the time, and live in fear of everything they say will/could/might happen.
I guess I'd like to be known as someone who encouraged people and gave them hope. Not someone who constantly pointed out everything of concern and danger.
Blah.
Okay, I'm done for now. You can have back your thread. ;)
:beret:
So true. It's not so bad when it's someone that you KNOW really cares and kinda has their own life together, but it's kinda interesting the folks that give advice sometimes.
Yes. Think of anything but that.
*HUG*
I also agree with you too, Sandra.
Exactly, Sandra. When it's family or really close friends, it's all fine. And I would hope they _would_ warn me if they saw dangers. But.... yeah, anyhow. ;)
*Hugs* Mel.
:beret:
Well just so ya know, I havent seen any dangers for you OR for the other person we are talking about...I would tell yall if I did, and I have a right...I know BOTH of yall personally and you are BOTH close enough to me that I can tell that sort of thing to, but there wasnt a need on either one of yall.
I know. ;)
And just for the record, I wasn't upset for me. But you probably already knew that, too. ;)
:beret:
Yep I did. ;) Naturally!
While we are on the topic... why do some people you meet for the first time think that they have to 'fix' all of your percieved problems they think you have? GRR... Just because i dont wanna tell you something that you want to know does not mean that i have trust issues... and even if i do have trust issues, its not something that is going to be fixed with a perfect STRANGER telling me that "you need to work on that, its not good for you"
on the other hand... maybe this rant thread wasnt such a good idea... lol! I seem to have more rant in me than i knew about. oops...lol
Quote from: sunlight on December 29, 2008, 07:53:17 AM
first of all, i want to start out saying that i have a real problem apparently, and that i am having a really hard time knowing how to deal with some of the things coming to a head recently.
The deals:
1. There is a guy who is a few years younger than me at church who is a few fries short of a happy meal who seems to have a fixation with me. It has gotten to the point that I feel very uncomfortable any time he is around, and often times i do not go with my youth group to do things if i know that he is going to be there. I NEED to find a way to get him to leave me alone... but since he is not really all there, I feel really bad just treating him bad until he goes away. I am considering going and talking to his dad, but i dont really know how to tell this guy that his son makes me uncomfortable. :sadbounce:
2. There is this random dude at the drive through at Chicken Express who after taking and delivering my order for sweet tea- comes out and leans on my car and keeps talking to me until its past time for me to be with the group i was supposed to meet... and he ends up telling me all about how he has had a divorce, and how he wants to never get married again, and such, and then askes how i got the scar on my arm, and when i told him how he was like, well why didnt you call me (yeah, i know, i kinda had a hard time following that line of convo myself) and ends up standing there till i would put his number in my phone and call him, so he could get my number. :sigh: (which i guess isnt really that big of a deal cause i can always just ignore all of that till it stops)
3. There are another couple stories but i dont feel like sharing it at this time because i most certanly dont want to seem like i am bragging. maybe in a later post...but the main problem is that i cant seem to find a way to nicely say no and them get the point. Do most guys not understand that no is no? Is there a way to get the point across without being rude... especially to people who just dont understand why?
Start wearing Billy Bob teeth.
Ok...so I have gotten several reprimanding PMs and comments about that I am NOT repulsive...maybe that was too strong a word...BUT, I was making a point, I just dont have that problem with the guys stalking me cause I am unusually beautiful, so I was just saying that it would be kinda nice sometimes to actually be noticed like some of the prettier girls on this site. (ie, Chel, Mary, Ruby...those that have this "stalking creep" problem)
Am I being called a stalking creep? :eyebrow:
If the pantyhose fit....
BOL! Oh, my...
How'd you find out about the pantyhose? :o
I have my ways. :up2:
:spitlaugh: Only on GP.
*wanders off shaking her head*
:beret:
:laughhard:
LOVE this thread!
Quote from: Chseeads on December 30, 2008, 06:55:36 PM
Am I being called a stalking creep? :eyebrow:
LOL, no cheese. I have never felt uncomfortable around you like i have some of these creeps. I know that you wouldnt really try to do anything to hurt me... some of these other people i wonder.
You are just picking (i think?)
*cough*
:lol:
Quote from: Chseeads on December 30, 2008, 06:55:36 PM
Am I being called a stalking creep? :eyebrow:
Quote from: MelodyB on December 30, 2008, 06:58:07 PM
If the pantyhose fit....
That was AWESOME! Way to go MEL!
ROFLOL
Chel: How much more than a proposal does it take for you to think that someone is stalking you? :eyebrow:
ya know... sometimes its not so much the proposal as the attitude. Seth doesn't go out of his way to irritate me, and go out of his way to be where i am going to be... and honestly, its not the proposals that get to me. (and working with people... well... sometimes ya get a few) Actually, i took what Seth said as more of a compliment...
Its the ones that hang out where i work, or hang out where they know im going to be, and stare, or do something else to make me majorly uncomfortable...
I have been stalked, and i have been proposed to. There is a definite difference. one isn't necessarily the other.
*sigh* this sounds like a huge oxymoron, but i dont know how to say what i feel. Sorry!
lol I knew what you meant. I was being silly.
**HUGS** Chel
You're up against it, huh, girlie?
*Hugs* Chel.
This thread amused me. If I need to rant, I know where to come. (I meant amused as in relate-able).
Quote from: The Purple Fuzzy on December 29, 2008, 08:03:51 AM
Quote from: sunlight on December 29, 2008, 08:00:33 AM
And yet another thing i dont get... (this is an old rant... BOL) why do people have to know what you look like before they decide if you are worth talking to or not? grrrr, this one is more of a chat manifestation, but yeah. it grates on my nerves. Its not all about looks people! what about personality? what about character? what about dreams, and aspirations! and initiative, and stuff that's going to last!
The only thing I can say here, is that I can tell alot about a person when I look in their face and see their expressions...
I used to attend a church where the pastor's wife told me that when I would get mad I looked like Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbes) when he got mad.
Quote from: RainbowJingles on December 31, 2008, 12:19:47 AM
Chel: How much more than a proposal does it take for you to think that someone is stalking you? :eyebrow:
What if they propose to her while wearing her pantyhose?
:o
Run, Chel! RUN!!!!
ohh my... :o
I really hope i never see you in pantyhose cheese...
:freaky2:
Seth, do you prefer Suntan, or Nude?
Hope he prefers to wear suntan....cause im betting he needs to tan his moon!
:yikes:
Suntan DOES seem to hide more when you have missed your BBW appointment.
sheer toe, reinforced or toe-less?
control top, panty or sheer?
silk or matte?
support or non-support legs?
women face too many choices in every area except men, ever noticed?
*shakes head*
:eyebrow:
Quote from: Amelia Bedelia on December 31, 2008, 06:19:14 PM
sheer toe, reinforced or toe-less?
control top, panty or sheer?
silk or matte?
support or non-support legs?
women face too many choices in every area except men, ever noticed?
Yes I have...well, SOME of us dont have many choices like OTHERS do. *cough*
RJ
ohh the things you see and the things that some people come up with... OHH MY! :o
but on a totally unrelated note that just happens to be another rant by me... :grin:
WHY ohh why do some people decide to tell you things that put you in a compromised position? Cant we all be friends and get along? grr...
Quote from: sunlight on January 01, 2009, 01:20:08 AM
ohh the things you see and the things that some people come up with... OHH MY! :o
but on a totally unrelated note that just happens to be another rant by me... :grin:
WHY ohh why do some people decide to tell you things that put you in a compromised position? Cant we all be friends and get along? grr...
Drama Drama girl.. lol I try to stay out of that stuff lately..
*sigh*
*Hugs* Chel really, really, really tight.
:beret:
Quote from: sunlight on December 29, 2008, 07:55:59 AM
Another thing i dont get...
Why do some people judge you on what you drive? :banghead: I have gotten a different car recenly, and its amazing how people treat you differently depending on what you drive. Ya know... i kinda like driving my old beat up car around just because its like i dont know... a [hahaha... im not who you think i am] type mentality... hehe!
I know how this feels!
Quote from: SippinTea on December 30, 2008, 07:14:51 AM
Okay, I need to borrow your rant thread for a minute, Chel. Do you mind? If so, just ignore my post and move on. ;)
Why do people feel the need to give un-asked-for advice, and why do they feel compelled to studiously point out things they perceive as 'red flags' or dangers in someone else's life? If I listened every time someone said they saw a 'red flag' in my life, I couldn't do anything at all. Sometimes I just have to get alone with God for a while until I REALLY hear from Him. And I'm finding more and more that I have to tune out all the voices around me, and really, really listen for His still small voice. That's the only safe voice to listen to, anyway. Because no matter how much someone cares about me or my situation, they can't possibly know the future like He does. And I'd be a fool to listen to doomsday prophets all the time, and live in fear of everything they say will/could/might happen.
I guess I'd like to be known as someone who encouraged people and gave them hope. Not someone who constantly pointed out everything of concern and danger.
Blah.
Okay, I'm done for now. You can have back your thread. ;)
:beret:
Are you holding a bunch of red flags in your picture? :P
Quote from: The Purple Fuzzy on December 29, 2008, 08:01:10 AM
Hey, I have a big stick and if that don't work your daddy has something more powerful. But I seriously doubt many guys could make it past a mad mama bear with a stick. :bigcheese:
Man, that was classic! BOL!
Quote from: sunlight on December 29, 2008, 08:03:24 AM
:grin: and while im in the ranting mode... lol... whats up with it being so easy to be negative? why is it so much easier to knock somebody down in the ground and then trample them, and then dig a hole and bury them than to know that they are down and in need of encouragement? Why? why? why?
God is love, and we are supposed to be like him, and yet its so hard for us to talk nice? grr...
Yeah Cheese.
Quote from: sunlight on December 29, 2008, 07:53:17 AM
first of all, i want to start out saying that i have a real problem apparently, and that i am having a really hard time knowing how to deal with some of the things coming to a head recently.
The deals:
1. There is a guy who is a few years younger than me at church who is a few fries short of a happy meal who seems to have a fixation with me. It has gotten to the point that I feel very uncomfortable any time he is around, and often times i do not go with my youth group to do things if i know that he is going to be there. I NEED to find a way to get him to leave me alone... but since he is not really all there, I feel really bad just treating him bad until he goes away. I am considering going and talking to his dad, but i dont really know how to tell this guy that his son makes me uncomfortable. :sadbounce:
2. There is this random dude at the drive through at Chicken Express who after taking and delivering my order for sweet tea- comes out and leans on my car and keeps talking to me until its past time for me to be with the group i was supposed to meet... and he ends up telling me all about how he has had a divorce, and how he wants to never get married again, and such, and then askes how i got the scar on my arm, and when i told him how he was like, well why didnt you call me (yeah, i know, i kinda had a hard time following that line of convo myself) and ends up standing there till i would put his number in my phone and call him, so he could get my number. :sigh: (which i guess isnt really that big of a deal cause i can always just ignore all of that till it stops)
3. There are another couple stories but i dont feel like sharing it at this time because i most certanly dont want to seem like i am bragging. maybe in a later post...but the main problem is that i cant seem to find a way to nicely say no and them get the point. Do most guys not understand that no is no? Is there a way to get the point across without being rude... especially to people who just dont understand why?
:sigh:
Ok people, this is not getting any better, and it just got worse. There is a pharmacy tech that works here, and apparently has taken my being nice as flirting or something... because he just called up to the floor on his cell phone and asked to speak to me... and proceeded to ask me out. :sigh:
will someone please let me know the nicest way to say no and yet get the point across!
grrr....
/me walks off mumbling again.
Just say...
No.
I dont think there is really a nice way to let someone down...
*shrug*
Tell him you're flattered but you aren't interested in dating anyone at the moment. If he keeps pushing, tell him you are SERIOUS. If he keeps on, just :pound: for awhile. Maybe then he will get it.
Tell him that you're flattered, but your dating rule is that the first date is at your church. The second date, your Dad chaperones. The third date is with your entire family, and if he makes it that far, THEN you can let your dad set the shotgun outside the door and stand beside it when he makes it to the one at your house.
Or you could just tell him "no" now and get it over with.
Tell him you're an ice maiden and you're afraid that if you let him melt you that he might slip in the puddle.
Tell him that you only date within your species.
Tell him that you don't date on days that end in "y"
Or you could just tell him "no" and get it over with.
Or....Sunshiney could point out that that is sexual harassment, its against company policy, and that she will be speaking to HR about the incident and that she hopes that the Pharmacy Tech enjoys unemployment and having to register as a sex offender.
That should shut him up.
Or, you could just give him another number like 972-836-0066. :-)
Quote from: sunlight on January 10, 2009, 09:21:27 AM
Quote from: sunlight on December 29, 2008, 07:53:17 AM
first of all, i want to start out saying that i have a real problem apparently, and that i am having a really hard time knowing how to deal with some of the things coming to a head recently.
The deals:
1. There is a guy who is a few years younger than me at church who is a few fries short of a happy meal who seems to have a fixation with me. It has gotten to the point that I feel very uncomfortable any time he is around, and often times i do not go with my youth group to do things if i know that he is going to be there. I NEED to find a way to get him to leave me alone... but since he is not really all there, I feel really bad just treating him bad until he goes away. I am considering going and talking to his dad, but i dont really know how to tell this guy that his son makes me uncomfortable. :sadbounce:
2. There is this random dude at the drive through at Chicken Express who after taking and delivering my order for sweet tea- comes out and leans on my car and keeps talking to me until its past time for me to be with the group i was supposed to meet... and he ends up telling me all about how he has had a divorce, and how he wants to never get married again, and such, and then askes how i got the scar on my arm, and when i told him how he was like, well why didnt you call me (yeah, i know, i kinda had a hard time following that line of convo myself) and ends up standing there till i would put his number in my phone and call him, so he could get my number. :sigh: (which i guess isnt really that big of a deal cause i can always just ignore all of that till it stops)
3. There are another couple stories but i dont feel like sharing it at this time because i most certanly dont want to seem like i am bragging. maybe in a later post...but the main problem is that i cant seem to find a way to nicely say no and them get the point. Do most guys not understand that no is no? Is there a way to get the point across without being rude... especially to people who just dont understand why?
:sigh:
Ok people, this is not getting any better, and it just got worse. There is a pharmacy tech that works here, and apparently has taken my being nice as flirting or something... because he just called up to the floor on his cell phone and asked to speak to me... and proceeded to ask me out. :sigh:
will someone please let me know the nicest way to say no and yet get the point across!
grrr....
/me walks off mumbling again.
well, heres what you do..
act like your interested..
Its a BIG turn off when a girl acts like shes interested..
wait..
maybe thats just..
nevermind..
forget I said that..
:smirk2:
lol
Quote from: sunlight on January 10, 2009, 09:21:27 AM
:sigh:
Ok people, this is not getting any better, and it just got worse. There is a pharmacy tech that works here, and apparently has taken my being nice as flirting or something... because he just called up to the floor on his cell phone and asked to speak to me... and proceeded to ask me out. :sigh:
will someone please let me know the nicest way to say no and yet get the point across!
grrr....
/me walks off mumbling again.
Well, Chellay, what can you expect? You're a hottay!
:freaky2:
*mumbles with Chel and commiserates*
*laughs* at Sethers
Quote from: minnesota68 on January 10, 2009, 02:56:43 PM
Or....Sunshiney could point out that that is sexual harassment, its against company policy, and that she will be speaking to HR about the incident and that she hopes that the Pharmacy Tech enjoys unemployment and having to register as a sex offender.
That should shut him up.
Wow! Why didn't I think of that one years ago? That would have worked with... at least three guys I can think of right off the top of my head. NOW you tell me?!? *siiiiigh*
Unfortunately for me, I highly doubt I could do that. Being nice stinks sometimes. :smirk2:
:beret:
lol.. you'd be surprised what actually constitutes as sexual harrasment and what doesnt.. and, Ive never heard of anyone having to Register as a sex offender for getting fired to sexual harrassment.. wow.. lol thats a lil extreme
It is, but in this day and age it's probably enough to scare off a guy.
QuoteOr you could just tell him "no" now and get it over with.
Tell him you're an ice maiden and you're afraid that if you let him melt you that he might slip in the puddle.
"
These will only serve as a challenge to most guys. They will want to be the ONE to break through.
QuoteTell him that you only date within your species.
An insult could make her life miserable at work. When there's someone at work that you insult, they can say and do things just under the wire to make it difficult to work with them, especially if there's a lot of contact during the day.
*sigh*
Back to the drawing board.
:idea:
Okay... tell him that you are busy that night.
When he says, "...but I haven't even told you which night," say, "I know, but whatever night it is, I'll be busy." :bighceese:
Quote from: EricShane on January 10, 2009, 06:10:18 PM
well, heres what you do..
act like your interested..
Its a BIG turn off when a girl acts like shes interested..
wait..
maybe thats just..
nevermind..
forget I said that..
:smirk2:
lol
I think it's more when you act desperate than just plain interested.
Some guys get off on desperate, too, though. :laughhard:
Quote from: iridiscente on January 12, 2009, 12:39:59 AM
Quote from: EricShane on January 10, 2009, 06:10:18 PM
well, heres what you do..
act like your interested..
Its a BIG turn off when a girl acts like shes interested..
wait..
maybe thats just..
nevermind..
forget I said that..
:smirk2:
lol
I think it's more when you act desperate than just plain interested.
yeah, your right.. Guys love it when a girl plays hard to get.. its a challenge!
This is more of a Revelation from a few years back than it is a rant, But i wanted to share it because I have had to come back and reread it quite a few times to remind me of what God reminded me of.
I really love and appreciate all of my GP friends, even if i am not on here as much anymore, and do not get to talk to yall much.
Quote
Borrowed Friends.
In the bible, it tells us that we are not our own... for we are bought with a price. I belong to God. But... not only do I belong to God... so do my friends... they are people who God saw fit to bring into my life for one reason or another, for me to use... not to hide for a later date. Sooo, who am I to get angry if one of my friends decides to move... or to hang out with someone else? Who am I to be jealous? no-one. They didnt belong to me in the first place! I can not force anyone to be my friend. All I can do is pray for them and be avaliable.
now... for the rest of the story... or more of the story anyways.
I was reading in the bible where it talks about how we are not our own... when I had the above thought come to me. I was really glad it did too at the time, because I had been praying about my jealous thoughs... about how I am jealous over some stupid stuff... like who is liked the best. Who cares? Why should I be worried about that anyways? At the time... I was really glad that God had given me this thought... cause one of my friends is getting married... and she is wanting me to be the maid-of-honor, but there is this other girl who has been her 'friend' for longer... and wanted the position. I personally didnt care either way... and since the other girl was so pushy... I didnt really want to do it... and be the person with all the hate directed at me. Sooo, I was like... God, please change me if I am like her... dont let me be so jealous of who I can and can not claim to be as my friend.
I was initally glad that he gave me the insite for that situation... But now i think he knew what was going to happen and was preparing me for this as well.
Then... things change. Some of the people I had been talking to stopped calling. and you know what? I am really glad that God gave me that... because i know that it would have normally bothered me... really bad. But it dont. And to think that he let me know what i needed to do 2 days before it actually happened. I am so glad for God's timing. I dont know that i could have acted as nice to people without him. lol, let me rephrase that. I know I wouldnt have acted as nice to people if it wernt for him... I would have been having a major pity party probably, and then had an attitude.
I dont know sometimes. a lot of times actually. (sometimes its hard to explain what you are thinking becasue you dont think totally in words. I'ts also in feelings and emotions... some of which are not explainable, or describable by words... in my mind anyways. you guys might not think like i do)
~ Chel
We're happy that you still find time even though it's not as much as before. :thumbsup2:
*hugs* for the best maid of honor in the world!
Quote from: iridiscente on April 17, 2009, 12:07:20 AM
*hugs* for the best old maid of honor in the world!
*sniff* How sweet....
:o
:pound: s Minni
/me grins
I'm gonna have old people in my wedding. :grin:
Yup. Namely the bride and groom.
:hypocrite:
:lol:
Oo, ouch! :pound: Elona.
She's not nearly so old as me or you, Grlie. There's hope for her yet. :lol:
:beret:
And neither of you kids is nearly as old as me. Enjoy your youngness while you can.
Ohhh Cheeellll...
I want to hear some more rants...
:bigcheese:
Quote from: Sis on May 04, 2009, 08:00:48 PM
And neither of you kids is nearly as old as me. Enjoy your youngness while you can.
Only person older than you is God, and hes a spirit.
:yikes: What about Scott?
Scott is Darth Vader. Nuff said.
Quote from: minnesota68 on May 05, 2009, 12:19:22 AM
Scott is Darth Vader. Nuff said.
Which one is the alter-ego?
When you have seen one, you have seen the other.
:hypocrite:
**HUGS** Ruby and Chel and all the *cough* old people on GP
:couch:
HEY!
I am in the old ppl group...
:sadbounce:
At least thats what my nine year old cousin said...
:o
lol Anything over 11 is old to a 9 year old!
*sigh*
I know...
She is also the one who asked me if I was going to have a baby pre weight loss...
:smirk2:
:lol:
lol Gotta love those questions. Actually, you DON'T gotta love 'em at all, do ya?!?! lol
:tantrum:
I cried the rest of the day after she asked me that...
I can imagine. Been there. Nearly done the same.
**HUGS** da Becca
Some kid asked me today if I was a Hibatchi Chef! LOL
bol!
Quote from: BeccaBoo on May 05, 2009, 06:15:46 PM
*sigh*
I know...
She is also the one who asked me if I was going to have a baby pre weight loss...
:smirk2:
:lol:
Be glad it was a kid. We were giving a Bible study to a couple and he asked me when I was due. :blush:
I asked one of the kids I was watching, how old he thought I was, and he said 16! He was so happy when I told him he was right! :rofl:
:lol:
Ya know... people are weird.
When I was 14, they thought I was 21.
When I was 21, they thought I was 14.
Now that I'm... well... old, I don't wanna even KNOW what they think! :lol:
:beret:
Just be glad your not a guy. You get older and you get hair...in your ears. LOL
I was asked last year at HYC if I was 14...
:lol:
i still get asked if im 16 or so....and i carry a 8 yr old and 3 yr old with me wherever i go...im like no...i just look young!
Wow...
I always looked way younger than I was until I got fat. Now I look my age....... 105!
Whatever Sis...
It's TRUE! Honest!
:roll:
I'm 25 tomorrow and today a sister said she thought I was 20...woot! 5 years younger
See, Lady Chris? Youthful as well as lovely! :thumbsup2:
John :waving:
Quote from: sunlight on May 04, 2009, 06:45:23 PM
/me grins
I'm gonna have old people in my wedding. :grin:
lol.. yeah, seth is getting up there!
ugh.
I woke up this morning in a frustrated mood. but anyways... on to a few rants.
I HATE it when people do not keep me updated on things that concern my life and property... especially when its things that i am working on, and things that involve other people. If things dont go the way you and I planned on it going the first time we talked... call me and let me know the changes... dont just let me find out and be suprised when i have something show up. At least a voice message. or some sort of information. Let me have a voice in my stuff. I dont mind lending my stuff, but i do mind when stuff happens... and it turns into money out of my pocket. :sigh:
and then i got to work, and got mad because i was expected to work.
I think part of it was because i was already in a pretty frustrated mood...but then i got up here and saw that one of the new agency workers, who knows nothing about our floor yet, and is always coming to me to get answers... which is ironic in the first place as i am not an old person there yet either... but, she was assigned to teach this new person on our floor, and the 2 of them combined had less pts than i had by myself. It just didnt seem fair. But i got over it, and had to take a few deep breaths and say its like that story in the bible where some were there early, and some were there late, and they all got paid the same. They got paid for what they were hired to do.
anyways.
ugh.
Can anyone spare a real hug? I need a real hug today.
Wish I were there to give ya one.
*hugs*
Me 2...
*HUGE HUGS*
Well, I imagine you have many admirers close to you geographically, Lady Chel, but even the Grumpyest of the Grumpye would be willing to drive 200 miles if it would help!
*Hugs the sometime-not-knowing-how-awesome-she-really-is Lady Chel*
John :waving:
*hugs chel to death*
*adds to Chel's ginormous group hug*
:beret:
so... how are you now Chel? lol.. did we work? :smirk2:
lol, yes, you did work! (or something did.) the situation hasn't changed, but i'm at least not getting so mad i start crying every time i think about it. :grin: so it's all good. right?
/me HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs Chel
Nice HUG!!
:thumbsup2:
*HUGS* Chel
I wish you would hurry and get here so I could give ya a real one!
Yeah! What SHE said! lol
/me hugs chel!!
Huggers to you Chel!!
:bigcheese:
chel, do you know.. when you move to Indianna we all got to hang out like all the time?
:smirk2:
say what? :confused:
lol.. *whistles innocently*
Hmmm... :eyebrow:
Did Seth just go shouting for joy..err, Chel? :bigcheese:
John :waving:
so yeah... I had a meeting with my boss today. I got a really good review, and a raise.. and then when we went on to talk about a scheduling issue that has been going on- shie told me that just because i was hired on with the agreement that i would not be required to work on sundays- that it has now changed, and i will now have to work on those days as well if I want to stay where I am. I was wanting to change some stuff... but I guess here is a clear sign that staying where I am is not a valid option anymore. :sadbounce:
wonder where this road is gonna take me.
*hugs* God will lead you girlie....praying here...
Praying for you!
Definitely still praying for you! :grin:
*hugs chel*
Chin up... :)
You rock, Lady Chel!
John :waving:
What an adventure, God's getting things lined up I'm sure!
:hugs:
Random quotes that I will be looking for later...
"Obsession with degrees is immature. Christian maturity, as Paul describes it, is evidenced by concern with what is beneficial, what promotes godliness, what glorifies God, and with relationships what honor her and honor him and the community around them. If, he said, we would rightly focus on what benefits God and others rather than on how close to the line we can get and still not sin, we are mature Christians. The immature need lines, and lines around those lines. The mature are so far away from the lines, they're not even thinking about the lines."
"Forgiveness is two things (probably more, but we'll focus on two): It is a decision to act, and it is a miracle. It involves your will; and it asks God for a miracle in your heart. We need a miracle to be able to forgive, because we are not naturally inclined to do it. Our "flesh," or our old nature (that which is self-led rather than Christ-led), is incapable of forgiving. To forgive requires surrendering yourself entirely to God and His economy. And since forgiveness is something God wants us to experience and walk in, we can confidently ask for His help in truly forgiving."
"Here's the thing, we're all jerks and we're all stuck up — even the best of us. What sets some apart, though, is that they know it, they hate it, they want to change, and they are changing. Those are the authentic ones. Authentic doesn't mean being perfect. It means being honest enough to acknowledge all of the imperfections, and, at least for Christians, it means being humble enough to know we can't deal with them on our own, that only Jesus offers any real hope for change, and that we must daily — moment by moment, really — lean on Him and His grace if we are to have any hope for being authentically Christ-like."
hmmm.
http://www.boundless.org/2005/articles/a0001258.cfm
Really like those quotes!
I have discovered that I really do have a hard time telling people no, especially when it involves hurting their feelings, even if I know up front that whatever is proposed is not something that I would want to be involved in for anything in the world, that it would never work. I usually just don't say anything at all, and try to wait it out, which is not a correct way to respond at times...
and I have also noticed lately that if I am unable to do stuff spontaneously, then a WHOLE lot less stuff gets done... because then there is time between the deciding and the doing thus allowing myself to reason out of it, which is sad. Why is there so much emphasis being put on being consistent? is it really better than being spontaneous? is it really worth it? where do random acts of kindness play into the constant's point of view? where is the fun of the sporadic trips to just have fun and find something to do? :sigh:
Interesting thoughts to ponder.
Opportunities for random acts of kindness are everywhere, and can be planned without being planned. It's fun to think about "what if," and then you'll have it figured out when you have an opportunity to do it.
For example, try paying the bill for the guy behind you in the drive-through. But it wouldn't work at most McDonald's because they have two windows, and between the pay window and pick-up window the guy behind you would probably run up and pay you back. But it will work at a McD's if they are running only one window, which they often do during slow times. ;)
good point Psalm. I was going to say you can be consistantly spontaneous. It does not take the fun out of it, in fact, it takes it to a higher quality than it could've been sponataneously. Plan financially for random acts of kindness. Keep your eyes peeled for things to do for others. Then it 'feels' spontaneous but your heart is consistantly generous.
While in Branson last wknd, Nathan and I went into a candy store. We came across some Ginger Altoids. Now we have 2 pregnant friends battling nausea, and I've kept that in the back of my mind. We had a little spending $$ set aside for this trip so it worked perfect. We got them and on Tuesday, I asked one of the ladies how they were doing and it wasn't great. So I got to cheerfully say, "Hold on, I got something for you." I ran over to my purse and got them. My friend said a few days later that they were really good.
I wonder, if you have to think about it, and change your mind, was the spontanaety really from a goodness of your heart or the excitement of the moment? Sometimes the fun of something can hinder good sense. If it's not good sense, was it good to it sponataneously at all? And if it was, then wouldn't it still good to do it planned?
I'm not sure what the consensus would be, but the sponaneous act done by an stranger or aquaintance pales in comparison to the person who is consistantly considerate of me. Evil people do random acts of kindness and generosity, but only truly kind people make it a part of their everyday, intentional life. It takes effort to think of others consistantly, remember little details about them, and make a place in your life to do something about it when the opportunity arises. It also means that more thought and consideration was given than a random spontaneous act.
If that is not what you mean then I wonder if you are less spontaneous than you think?
Part of it was exactly what I meant.
I have questions about ginger altoids, but that would hijack Chel's thread. :lol:
Yes, and no. Yes, I am probably less spontaneous than I think as I do have a budget that is there just for spontaneous things... but the thing that bothers me is when something that I want to do has to be planned, it usually doesn't happen because so many people and things get in the way. red tape. obligations. such. ugh.
Now THAT I can totally understand. I've had that perdicament too many times. What I have found is that I have to either improvise and roll w/ what can be done, and/or consider if this is the will of God or His timing.
Somethings I wouldn't think are necessarily a God issue that hindsight reveals otherwise, He seen some things I didn't. Other times I feel/know it's a God thing and I just need to crank those brain gears and work through the details. The latter can sometimes be the devil trying to hinder things and prayer/some fasting can take that right out!
Complications can be a sign that it isn't meant to be/right now, or that it IS meant to be and the devil or even just Life is getting in the way.
Saw a guest reading this... lol
that's scary... :grin: