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Open Discussion => General Discussion => Topic started by: Newsman on July 02, 2008, 08:14:07 PM

Title: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Newsman on July 02, 2008, 08:14:07 PM
Dating Secret Exposed: Why Nice Guys Finish Last


By April Masini

Special to Yahoo! Personals


Are you a nice guy who has always wondered why the cocky guy -- the one who barely appears interested in the girl -- is usually the one who gets the girl?

Have you suffered from hearing the words, "You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend," from a woman who you would do (or may, in fact, have already done) just about anything and everything for -- only to turn around and watch her date (or even chase) a guy who treats her like she's nothing special? And are you stumped wondering why she would date a guy who treats her like that when she could have you who would treat her like a princess and give her everything she wants? Well, you better brace yourself because I'm going to tell you a couple of secrets that you might not want to hear.

First, "nice" equates with boring and predictable. Look up "nice" in the dictionary and you find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy.I'll bet you've never heard a woman say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard women say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry. He just doesn't turn me on." Sadly, I hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. Nice Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you. And as obvious as that sounds, if you are one of those guys I described that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work.

Please understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or disrespect them in any way.

What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.

What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.

To illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable.

It works like this:

Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation.

Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Men in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value.

Translation: Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value... it's human nature.

The secret to why the cocky guy wins with women, over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one woman's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options.

Relationship Advice Expert April Masini: Nicknamed "The New Millennium's Dear Abby" by the media, April Masini writes what "Dear Abby" will never print, and what your shrink doesn't have the guts to tell you. That's why she is America's foremost online dating and relationship advice expert, as well as the best-selling author of four books: "Date Out Of Your League", (dating tips for men), "Think and Date Like a Man" (relationship advice for women), "50 First Dates" (ideas for a fun date) and "The Next 50 Dates"(romantic date ideas).
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Sis on July 02, 2008, 08:32:55 PM
QuoteTo illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable.

Although this is true ^  The ones the girls chase after are usually the jocks, good looking, popular, etc. They don't want to be caught dead with some based on appearance only. It's their loss. I, and a lot like me, have never depended on looks. The two times I did, I ended up in bad relationships. I even married one, just to be jilted in the end..... in a strange city to boot.

We have to learn to look at the person who is self-assured, kind and friendly. So the other parts are also true. Be true to yourself. Like yourself first, and don't push yourself too fast. You'll likely be used instead of loved. Do it after you've won her but not on the first date.

Stevebert refers to himself as a music jock. :rofl:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Ashlee on July 02, 2008, 09:31:03 PM
I've never agreed with this.  My problem has always been that the nice guys show no interest in me.  Always the jerks, and the sickos. *shrug*
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: apsurf on July 02, 2008, 10:36:28 PM
actually in my experience, the article is right on.  So many women I have met said, "Oh I want a nice guy....someday."     I have found that being a nice guy, doesn't cut the mustard with alot of women.  


it seems to me,  the guy also gets caught in a double bladed situation many times.   If he doesn't seem to care too soon, he gets the boot, or if he shows he cares too soon, he gets the boot.  And women wonder why we are so confused much of the time.

Oh well, in my mind anymore, if the girl I ever happen to be interrested in doesn't want a nice guy (or appears to not want a nice guy), then she isn't worth the time to pursue that depth of relationship with.  Just leave it at friends.  (and this doesn't mean that I base that decision on a few min encounter.   It does take a little time to arrive at the conclusion.  For me though that time has shrank of course.)

And I say that respectfully.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Ashlee on July 02, 2008, 10:41:14 PM
I guess it's also nice if the nice guy shows interest.  lol  I've held on for a long time waiting for the nice guy to get interested and then he introduces me to his new girlfriend.  :roll:

So, how do I know if the nice guy is interested and just being nice about it?
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: apsurf on July 02, 2008, 10:44:09 PM
Another twist to that question is this .....how does the nice guy know the girl is interrested in him....or the girl might be interrested in him pursuing her?
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Newsman on July 02, 2008, 11:16:49 PM
   I think there's both something to the article, and something unique about each person.. I don't think any woman likes what they consider a man when he's acting 'desperate.' An interesting corollary to that is, I think what constitutes 'desperate' can vary form woman to woman. Does calling her twice in one day, especially if he didn't speak to her the first time, constitute desperate? Or does she really like/want/expect 4-5 calls per day?

   The level of closeness and contact desired can vary between folks a lot, as well. Go out once a week? Twice? Less often? Drop by after work? etc.

   There's a couple of very attractive and nice women I've taken out, who seem pleased and willing to talk/go out again, whom I may not have contacted for several weeks, or maybe up to a couple of months. My nature is to be a bit embarassed that I haven't talked to them for so long, but that (as per the article,) may play to my advantage.

   Then, how much of the 'macho' , for lack of a better term, image and pattern(s) of behaviour a woman wants  in a man? Some women llook for the "Mr. Mom' type, an appalling and detestable situation for a man to want to be in, IMO. Some want a 'man among men' and will settle (understandably,) for nothing less.. it varies from woman to woman.

   Need to leave for church...perhaps more later.


John  :waving::bustamove:

   

   
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: apsurf on July 02, 2008, 11:20:53 PM
The mr. Mom role..... :laughhard:

I can bust a gut laughing trying to imagine John in that role.....It would be so out of character for him!!! :laughhard:

But on the serious side....he's right.  It does vary from lady to lady what they want.   
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Sis on July 03, 2008, 01:27:45 AM
Well, having been a girl, Hee hee, and having worked with lots of girls, here's some of it.

Girls don't like to be "persued" any more than guys do. Girls don't like desperate people any more than guys do. In other words if you're trying to get too close too soon, a person feels like they're being stalked and that's not a pleasant feeling at all.

People are people. Get to know someone as a friend, then if there's a spark, you will BOTH know it.

If you haven't spoken to someone you like for a long time, call as soon as you can or you're cutting off someone that you enjoy being with totally. So it's been awhile?  You're a newsman. Many times your time isn't your own. A true friend will know that.

I liked Stevebert right away, and he liked me, too. But we just went out with the crowd from work and reacted in public only for a long time before we got serious. Remember we weren't in church but that seemed the best way to go about it.

A woman who's been burned by the jocks and the popular might very well be waiting around the corner. Someone looking for YOU.

If you find yourself liking someone, ask her out. If she goes out with you, ask right at the end of the night if she'd like to do it again. You will get your answer right there. If she says no, honor that and move on. If she says yes, take it slow and don't push her away.

There are some things that really turn PEOPLE of both sexes off. Getting into serious conversations about things you feel deeply about. Religion or politics can be pushing too hard too fast. Looking at a woman and telling her she's a lousy sinner who needs the Holy Ghost isn't exactly good conversation for a first date! :rofl:  Lighter conversations about those subjects will let a person kind of know where you stand, but if you get into a really deep one, you may find out you're doing most of the talking. LOL   Or if she disagrees with you, she may not ever give you another chance.  Keep things light and nothing should be a big deal until you really are "going together".

Newsman is right about most of what he said.

Macho?  Macho is really male dominance. Men acting like polite men?  If you open the door for her and she doesn't seem pleased, don't do it next time. If she acts like she appreciates it, keep doing it up. But even manners can get stifling if you go too far.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Sis on July 03, 2008, 01:32:13 AM
P.S.  Nice guys finish last isn't necessarily a bad thing.  Get the jocks and jerks out of the race first, then the field is wide open.  :laughhard:

If you finish last, it may be because you're out stargazing.   :laughhard:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: SippinTea on July 03, 2008, 02:59:50 AM
Quote from: Sis on July 03, 2008, 01:27:45 AM
There are some things that really turn PEOPLE of both sexes off. Getting into serious conversations about things you feel deeply about. Religion or politics can be pushing too hard too fast.

Ummm... *big grin*

Wooby da Webel respectfully disagrees. ;)

Quote from: Sis on July 03, 2008, 01:32:13 AM
If you finish last, it may be because you're out stargazing.   :laughhard:

*sudden coughing fit*

:beret:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Newsman on July 03, 2008, 03:12:53 AM
You rang, dear?


John  :waving::bustamove:

Quote from: teacheroftheLord on July 02, 2008, 09:31:03 PM
I've never agreed with this.  My problem has always been that the nice guys show no interest in me.  Always the jerks, and the sickos. *shrug*
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: sunlight on July 03, 2008, 03:16:47 AM
:reg:
/me respectfully disagree's with this...  
QuoteGirls don't like to be "persued" any more than guys do.

I think most girls like being persued... BUT, there is a difference in persuing and stalking...
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Ashlee on July 03, 2008, 03:18:25 AM
Yeah, I tend to get in serious deep discussions with a person if I'm really comfortable with them.  So, that's a plus

If you don't know if a girl is interested in you being interested in her, how about you ask?  I've enjoyed getting to know you, but I'd like to get to know you even better.  Would you consider joining me for dinner on such and such date?  *shrug*
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Sis on July 03, 2008, 03:20:32 AM
Showing interest and persuing are two different things. Persuing = chasing? 

Addition: I meant when guys do that they do all the talking. ALSO when you put all your cards on the table on the first date, the person you're with might get a wrong opinion of you. You may say something in a wrong way to make them think you're a communist or something. LOL 

It's best to just keep things light on the first couple of dates until you get to know each other a bit. Stick to likes and dislikes, what church you go to, what types of people you like to spend time with, hobbies, talents. That's plenty to hand out to new people in the first couple of get togethers.

Save your deep philosophies for the third date!   :laughhard:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Newsman on July 03, 2008, 03:23:10 AM
I'll share my 'line' for asking a woman out to dinner

"Would you do me the honor of allowing me to take you out to dinner?"


John  :waving:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Ashlee on July 03, 2008, 03:34:06 AM
John, that works too.


Sis, If I can't talk about deep philosophies, then I can't talk about my day job.  *sigh*
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Sis on July 03, 2008, 03:43:20 AM
LOL Talk about them with the kiddos during the daytime. They'll take their naps for sure.   :laughhard:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Ashlee on July 03, 2008, 03:50:02 AM
Hmmm. might have to try that. lol
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: upcchris on July 03, 2008, 04:34:50 AM
Hmm. I'm clueless when it comes to trying to tell if a guy is interested, and I mean clueless, I don't know if he's interested or just being nice.

re: above posts: too much too soon (esp if you're not friends first) = overwhelming + makes girl uncomfortable + makes girl avoid you
too little for a substaintial amount of time = girl thinks guy's not interested + moves on

It's a delicate balance, as with all thinks...but once you got hook line and sinker(i.e the lady as a gf), go for gold (i.e. be the nice guy the article's describing)
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: SippinTea on July 03, 2008, 04:42:45 AM
Quote from: Sis on July 03, 2008, 03:20:32 AM
Showing interest and persuing are two different things. Persuing = chasing? 

All depends on who's pursuing and/or chasing. I've no opposition to being chased, provided it's the right guy after me. *ornery grin*

Quote from: Sis on July 03, 2008, 03:20:32 AM
It's best to just keep things light on the first couple of dates until you get to know each other a bit. Stick to likes and dislikes, what church you go to, what types of people you like to spend time with, hobbies, talents. That's plenty to hand out to new people in the first couple of get togethers.

Now there you're getting to the real issue. *grin* How well do you already know the person before you go on that first date?

I guess I'm weird that way, but I won't date someone I don't already know fairly well. *shrug*

:beret:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Newsman on July 03, 2008, 09:57:02 AM
Lady WdW (Wooby da Webel) Brings up another point that must be considered.

   What do we purpose in a date? Is it a social interaction that perhapos has some possibility to develop into a serious relationship, or is it a more serious seeing if the other is compatible for a life mate, having already 'screened' them in some preliminary process.

   I have no axe to grind with this topic, nor am I bitter: I see some of the author's points firsthand, yet see room for uniqueness (you neek up on them. ya know,)


John  :waving:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Sis on July 03, 2008, 06:39:27 PM
Most women don't go out with total strangers, especially Christian women. But even though you are acuqainted with someone, doesn't mean you know EVERYTHING about them.

I knew Stevebert for two years before we started going out. But I knew him at work. I knew he was a nice guy, but I didn't know what he liked and didn't like. We had never talked about his kids. I knew he had two because of the pictures on his desk but not much else.

We talked about those things.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Newsman on July 03, 2008, 06:52:31 PM
   This doesnt just happen for me, so don't incorreectly assume I'm this popular with women, but there was a print and voice mail mesaage for me when I returned to the orffice this afternoon.

   It was from a woman that married my first best friend, and they split up (understandably on her part.) She worked about 14 years ago at a nursing home in another town that I did nursing home services at, for a time.

   She moved to this area, married again, and works for a state agency. She and a friend have decided they want to fix me up with a friend of theirs and that what the calls were about. It was flattering, but I told them one of my many faults, and told them I'd think about it and call them back Monday.

   Got some political stuff going, as well, today..bah. :)


John  :waving:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Sis on July 03, 2008, 06:58:22 PM
OOOO la la To steal a phrase from someone who shall remain nameless but his initials are Newsman.    :laughhard:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Newsman on July 03, 2008, 07:05:44 PM
 :hypocrite:


John  :waving:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Envelope on July 06, 2008, 02:14:26 AM
Years ago........I used to be a HUGE HUGE HUGE fan of dr. laura.  I finally had to quit listening to her because of her language (I had/have Very YOUNG impressionable kids and I didn't want them to know it was OK to cuss, because it's unacceptable in this house!!)

Anyway, she had a letter from a listener that put in a "nice guy" ad in a singles ad paper.  He said things like he just wanted to love and cherish a lady and have a family.  Stated he would treat her nice and provide for her properly, etc etc etc...........just went out of his way to emphasize his "nice guy" persona!!!

He got ZERO Responses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Same guy??  Puts a NEW ad in the singles ad paper and said "Straight out of prison and going to rehab, AA, NA, etc"  I have cheated on my wife and am wanted for embezzlement and there's probably a warrant out for my arrest!!

He got 35 (yes THIRTY FIVE) responses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just goes to prove your point, John!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sharon
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: upcchris on July 07, 2008, 02:41:25 AM
Then am I the only one who does go for nice guys? I wouldn't answer singles ads because I don't like the 'game', but I'm more inclined to talk to nice guys rather that guys who exude the 'rebel without a cause' vibe...they're a walking heartbreak waiting to happen
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Sis on July 07, 2008, 02:44:19 AM
People who want nice guys must not read those things. LOL  :laughhard:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Ashlee on July 07, 2008, 03:00:17 AM
Well, all my friends are nice guys.  Bad thing is, they all stay my friends.....
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Sis on July 07, 2008, 03:41:51 AM
God's watchin' you. In His time you will fall in love and stay there. I know it is hard to wait but it will be well worth it.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Ashlee on July 07, 2008, 03:59:06 AM
:hyper:  it's really hard to wait.  *sigh*  I kept hearing them announce about a baby from my church was just born.  My Sis told me that it was the baby of someone I went to school with.  :roll:  Why are all my friends from school all married with kids already and I'm not?  I was the one everyone thought had it all together.  lol.  I'd italicise or whatever the word thought, but I'm too lazy.  lol
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Sis on July 07, 2008, 04:29:35 AM
Maybe they rushed into it and it won't be a great marriage further down the line. Just wait and you will have a perfect one.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Ashlee on July 07, 2008, 04:34:40 AM
Maybe nice girls finish last too.  Wait...I'm not nice.  *grin*
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Sis on July 07, 2008, 04:36:23 AM
Quote from: teacheroftheLord on July 07, 2008, 04:34:40 AM
Maybe nice girls finish last too.  Wait...I'm not nice.  *grin*

:yikes:  You're not?  You can't say that about MY friend!
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Ashlee on July 07, 2008, 04:43:03 AM
LOL.  Well, I'm not.  I try to be nice to some people some of the time though.  *grin*
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: SippinTea on July 07, 2008, 04:44:24 AM
Quote from: teacheroftheLord on July 07, 2008, 03:59:06 AM
:hyper:  it's really hard to wait.  *sigh*  I kept hearing them announce about a baby from my church was just born.  My Sis told me that it was the baby of someone I went to school with.  :roll:  Why are all my friends from school all married with kids already and I'm not?  I was the one everyone thought had it all together. 

Ashlee, I totally understand how you feel. But... when I'm realistic about all those friends of mine that married young, it's scary to me to look around and see how many of them have already divorced. Sometimes even two or three times. And right now, I can't even tell you how extremely glad I am that I wasn't in a hurry.

God's gifts are never second-best.

:beret:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Newsman on July 07, 2008, 09:48:53 AM
:sing: You can't hurry love..no, you'll just have to waittttt  :sing:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Newsman on July 07, 2008, 09:49:56 AM
Hey, who posted from my account, singing some love song?? Grrr


John  :waving::bustamove:
Grumpyest of the Grumpye
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Newsman on July 07, 2008, 09:55:36 AM
I need to start a new investigations thread..we had a Lady visiting at church yesterday that is single, and a young cousin to our pastor's wife.. I went over that way before service, and joked a bit.

Initially, I was 'bah, humbug' and wasn't going to follow up, but decided to go over after service and talk to her..as we had a missionary service, responsibilities with pastor on stuff meant she was gone before I got through.

But, who did I see over there after service? You guessed it, he of even more bah humbugs about women than me, could he be the Playa of the Summah? Nwlife.

Come to think of it, he left the church before I did..hmmmmmm


John  :waving::bustamove:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: apsurf on July 07, 2008, 03:26:53 PM
1. I wasn't feeling good.
2. there were 2 cousins, 1 married, 1 not married
2.  I thought that the single cousin was only about 15... (She was cute, wore very stylish frames, long blond hair that was down to her knees *melts in awe at the hair*)
Do you mean  to tell me she was older?? :o
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: apsurf on July 07, 2008, 03:40:20 PM
well Joel did keep insisting on me joining them for dinner at the restuarant.....

But I had went home to rest a bit, and then went to service at a friends church where I got to see a missionary to the muslims.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Newsman on July 07, 2008, 07:14:58 PM
   The younger (single) of the two sisters is 22, I was told. That was (I think,) the one with the fabulous hair. The older, married sister is 24, Holly also told me.


John  :waving:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: apsurf on July 07, 2008, 10:36:02 PM
GRRRRRR...     

seems like Every time i see someone I think is in the proper age range, she isn't.....then if I think she isn't in the proper age range, she IS.... :frustrated:

There is always hope maybe that she will remain single and unattached and return for a family trip back to macalester within the next year..
At least now I could say and not be completely out of line.....She was Hot!!!!
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Newsman on July 08, 2008, 02:21:38 AM
   Umm....she lives in Arkansas...and Arkansas isn't the end of the world..though you may be able to see it from there!  :laughhard:

   With ze data I have supplied here..ya ought to be able to track down a town, and you're able to visit on weekends to other areas, sooooo...


John  :waving::bustamove:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Newsman on July 08, 2008, 02:23:28 AM
My favorite of Sis Price's nieces didn't make it to church yesterday  :sadbounce:


John  :waving::bustamove:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: upcchris on July 08, 2008, 02:29:53 AM
Quote from: teacheroftheLord on July 07, 2008, 03:59:06 AM
:hyper:  it's really hard to wait.  *sigh*  I kept hearing them announce about a baby from my church was just born.  My Sis told me that it was the baby of someone I went to school with.  :roll:  Why are all my friends from school all married with kids already and I'm not?  I was the one everyone thought had it all together.  lol.  I'd italicise or whatever the word thought, but I'm too lazy.  lol

I know what you mean re school friends with kids! I see/hear about it and inwardly go 'woah nelly' I mean... I knew what these people were like in hs and now they've got kids?! Sometimes I think my emotional mentality/growth may be stunted.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Newsman on July 08, 2008, 02:33:05 AM
But, Lady Chris,

   If both you and Lady Ash do get married, there are two VERY fortunate men out there, walking the face of the Earth!


John  :waving::bustamove:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: apsurf on July 08, 2008, 03:13:22 AM
Quote from: Newsman on July 08, 2008, 02:33:05 AM
But, Lady Chris,

   If both you and Lady Ash do get married, there are two VERY fortunate men out there, walking the face of the Earth!


John  :waving::bustamove:

:hi:  well, here is one who is walking the earth....  :hypocrite:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: apsurf on July 08, 2008, 03:17:30 AM
Quote from: Newsman on July 08, 2008, 02:23:28 AM
My favorite of Sis Price's nieces didn't make it to church yesterday  :sadbounce:


John  :waving::bustamove:

She stayed at the hotel I worked at (according to what I was told) but I never saw her either....and though she may be older than me, she is very beautiful ...
Had a crush on her when I was alot younger.. :)

Quote from: Newsman on July 08, 2008, 02:21:38 AM
   Umm....she lives in Arkansas...and Arkansas isn't the end of the world..though you may be able to see it from there!  :laughhard:

   With ze data I have supplied here..ya ought to be able to track down a town, and you're able to visit on weekends to other areas, sooooo...


John  :waving::bustamove:

Hmmm.....Not sure which relative of the pastor lives in Ark.   Didn't know they had any relatives there.   Though it wouldn't be hard to hogtie ole' joel to force the info out of him, or just sweetly ask sis price the next time I visit.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Ashlee on July 08, 2008, 04:43:32 AM
Quote from: [{(nwlife)}] on July 08, 2008, 03:13:22 AM
Quote from: Newsman on July 08, 2008, 02:33:05 AM
But, Lady Chris,

   If both you and Lady Ash do get married, there are two VERY fortunate men out there, walking the face of the Earth!


John  :waving::bustamove:

:hi:  well, here is one who is walking the earth....  :hypocrite:

:roll: 
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: upcchris on July 08, 2008, 09:45:39 AM
Quote from: Newsman on July 08, 2008, 02:33:05 AM
But, Lady Chris,

   If both you and Lady Ash do get married, there are two VERY fortunate men out there, walking the face of the Earth!


John  :waving::bustamove:

That's debatable in my case. But thank you anyway :grin:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Newsman on July 08, 2008, 10:20:28 AM
That's all right..you can be wonderful and still be wrong on things like this!


John  :waving::bustamove:

Quote from: upcchris on July 08, 2008, 09:45:39 AM
Quote from: Newsman on July 08, 2008, 02:33:05 AM
But, Lady Chris,

   If both you and Lady Ash do get married, there are two VERY fortunate men out there, walking the face of the Earth!


John  :waving::bustamove:

That's debatable in my case. But thank you anyway :grin:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Legendary_roxy_girL on July 13, 2008, 05:13:28 AM
Nice guys don't finish last in my world!

I think nice guys are great! And smart guys too..

bad boys are so overrated.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: upcchris on July 15, 2008, 02:27:01 AM
Quote from: Legendary_roxy_girL on July 13, 2008, 05:13:28 AM
Nice guys don't finish last in my world!

I think nice guys are great! And smart guys too..

bad boys are so overrated.

Amen! :thumbsup2:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Rae on July 25, 2008, 08:22:16 PM
Quote from: SippinTea on July 07, 2008, 04:44:24 AM
Quote from: teacheroftheLord on July 07, 2008, 03:59:06 AM
:hyper:  it's really hard to wait.  *sigh*  I kept hearing them announce about a baby from my church was just born.  My Sis told me that it was the baby of someone I went to school with.  :roll:  Why are all my friends from school all married with kids already and I'm not?  I was the one everyone thought had it all together. 

Ashlee, I totally understand how you feel. But... when I'm realistic about all those friends of mine that married young, it's scary to me to look around and see how many of them have already divorced. Sometimes even two or three times. And right now, I can't even tell you how extremely glad I am that I wasn't in a hurry.

God's gifts are never second-best.

:beret:

True!

It's so sad, Ruby.. I'm quite excited about what God has for my future. I'm willing to wait..
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: RainbowJingles on July 26, 2008, 08:09:54 AM
:lurk:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: noodle on July 26, 2008, 11:33:14 PM

it's really hard to wait.  I kept hearing them announce about a baby from my church was just born.  My Sis told me that it was the baby of someone I went to school with.  :roll:  Why are all my friends from school all married with kids already and I'm not?  I was the one everyone thought had it all together.  lol.  I'd italicise or whatever the word thought, but I'm too lazy.  lol


Many young people are led by emotion rather than the Lord when getting married. things aren't always what they seem. many married couples have painful struggles that are to difficult for them to discuss. i think being patient is a wise thing to do. i also believe you can't apply wisdom without first excercising patience.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Ashlee on July 27, 2008, 01:09:06 AM
Noodle, I had to look for the username to see who had written that post.  I've said that very thing for so long.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: noodle on July 29, 2008, 03:48:44 AM
Does anyone else wonder why the whole relationship thing is so complex? I want things to be like they were in the Old Testament. Like maybe I could just give some guy a bag of cheetos or something in exchange for his daughter to wife. Wouldn't that make it easier on all of us?
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Sis on July 29, 2008, 03:56:53 AM
Not for the woman who was being sold for a bag of Cheetos.  :(
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Scott on July 29, 2008, 04:18:20 AM
Quote from: noodle on July 29, 2008, 03:48:44 AM
Does anyone else wonder why the whole relationship thing is so complex? I want things to be like they were in the Old Testament. Like maybe I could just give some guy a bag of cheetos or something in exchange for his daughter to wife. Wouldn't that make it easier on all of us?

certain Indian Tribes required horses in exchange for Females

Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: RainbowJingles on July 29, 2008, 04:44:05 AM
lol  My Dad loves cheetos.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: The Purple Fuzzy on July 29, 2008, 01:43:54 PM
Quote from: RainbowJingles on July 29, 2008, 04:44:05 AM
lol  My Dad loves cheetos.
Is that a hint? :freaky2:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: RainbowJingles on July 29, 2008, 11:19:09 PM
lol  I just found it amusing that the price suggested was cheetos.

No hints here.


:hypocrite:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: The Purple Fuzzy on July 30, 2008, 01:09:41 AM
We might need an investigation...
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: noodle on July 30, 2008, 01:35:25 AM
Hmmmm. A cheeto investigation.......you may be on to something. You catch my drift though. Surely not all women abuse the nice guy. (However, that has been my experience).
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Sis on July 30, 2008, 02:43:49 AM
If anyone needs investigating, I'd say it was cheeto breath!   :laughhard:




(http://www.pukit.com/drupal/files/images/cheeto.jpg)
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: upcchris on July 30, 2008, 03:04:30 AM
 :o That is a lot of twisties
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Ashlee on July 30, 2008, 03:39:24 AM
twisties?  I thought they were cheetos???
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: noodle on July 30, 2008, 03:44:26 AM
I believe the terms are used interchangeably. I'll initiate another cheeto (twistie) investigation and get back with you on my findings.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Ashlee on July 30, 2008, 03:46:34 AM
ummm. ok.  We don't talk like that where I come from.  lol  In fact, the word investigation is normally not used.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: The Purple Fuzzy on July 30, 2008, 03:54:46 AM
Psst.. Noodle, she's from Louisiana. ;)
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: noodle on July 30, 2008, 03:58:32 AM
Quote from: practicalme on July 30, 2008, 03:54:46 AM
Psst.. Noodle, she's from Louisiana. ;)

Yeah, that might have something to do with it. I think Louisianans talk with their hands most of the time.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Ashlee on July 30, 2008, 04:06:59 AM
Quote from: noodle on July 30, 2008, 03:58:32 AM
Quote from: practicalme on July 30, 2008, 03:54:46 AM
Psst.. Noodle, she's from Louisiana. ;)

Yeah, that might have something to do with it. I think Louisianans talk with their hands most of the time.

Well, I can't speak for everyone, but I know I speak with my hands on a regular basis.  *grin* 

Mom:  She has NO idea does she?  lol
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: The Purple Fuzzy on July 30, 2008, 04:09:44 AM
I think Noodle is a "he".  But you are right.

Noodle, Teacher of the Lord is a deaf interpreter, so she "really" talks with her hands. ;)
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Ashlee on July 30, 2008, 04:12:14 AM
Quote from: practicalme on July 30, 2008, 04:09:44 AM
I think Noodle is a "he".  But you are right.

Oops.  lol.  Sorry Mr. Noodle.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Sis on July 30, 2008, 04:21:11 AM
Quote from: noodle on July 30, 2008, 03:44:26 AM
I believe the terms are used interchangeably. I'll initiate another cheeto (twistie) investigation and get back with you on my findings.

We let Newsman twist the truth, so twisties might be right up his alley. :rofl:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: noodle on July 30, 2008, 04:21:32 AM
Yeah! It's Mr. Noodle to you! (Your not really a def interpreter are you)?
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Sis on July 30, 2008, 04:32:16 AM
Quote from: noodle on July 30, 2008, 04:21:32 AM
Yeah! It's Mr. Noodle to you! (Your not really a def interpreter are you)?

To whom were you speaking?  Me?  I call only those older than me Mr or Mrs. And that's rare these days. When  you're 105 there are few older than you.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: The Purple Fuzzy on July 30, 2008, 04:34:52 AM
I think he was talking to Ashlee
Quote from: teacheroftheLord on July 30, 2008, 04:12:14 AM
Quote from: practicalme on July 30, 2008, 04:09:44 AM
I think Noodle is a "he".  But you are right.

Oops.  lol.  Sorry Mr. Noodle.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: RainbowJingles on July 30, 2008, 09:32:14 PM
Quote from: noodle on July 30, 2008, 01:35:25 AM
Hmmmm. A cheeto investigation.......you may be on to something. You catch my drift though. Surely not all women abuse the nice guy. (However, that has been my experience).

:pound: s the nice guy

:hypocrite:

Oops.  Did I just abuse the nice guy?  Or are you a nice guy?  :eyebrow:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Ashlee on July 31, 2008, 04:13:19 AM
Quote from: noodle on July 30, 2008, 04:21:32 AM
Yeah! It's Mr. Noodle to you! (Your not really a def interpreter are you)?

Yes.  I have been an interpreter for the Deaf in the church setting for almost 10 years.  I am going on my 4th year of working in the school system as an interpreter for the Deaf/Hard of Hearing.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: noodle on July 31, 2008, 10:36:05 PM
Quote from: RainbowJingles on July 30, 2008, 09:32:14 PM
Quote from: noodle on July 30, 2008, 01:35:25 AM
Hmmmm. A cheeto investigation.......you may be on to something. You catch my drift though. Surely not all women abuse the nice guy. (However, that has been my experience).

:pound: s the nice guy

:hypocrite:

Oops.  Did I just abuse the nice guy?  Or are you a nice guy?  :eyebrow:

I am a nice guy. But also a smart el-lick. And from what I've seen so far on GP, I should fit right in.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: RainbowJingles on July 31, 2008, 10:37:56 PM
lol  Now THAT is an understatement.

How did you happen upon us?  Who are you?  Did someone here tell you about our little house of fun?

Oh, yeah!  Lest I forget...

Welcome!!!
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: noodle on July 31, 2008, 10:41:45 PM
Quote from: teacheroftheLord on July 31, 2008, 04:13:19 AM
Quote from: noodle on July 30, 2008, 04:21:32 AM
Yeah! It's Mr. Noodle to you! (Your not really a def interpreter are you)?

Yes.  I have been an interpreter for the Deaf in the church setting for almost 10 years.  I am going on my 4th year of working in the school system as an interpreter for the Deaf/Hard of Hearing.

Oh, I thought you all were just messing with me.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Sis on July 31, 2008, 10:56:01 PM
Quote.... our little house of fun

Oh, is that what they call them these days? :rofl:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: RainbowJingles on July 31, 2008, 11:32:03 PM
Call what?  :eyebrow:

lol  I was actually referring to one of the GP lines that scrolls across at the top of the page somewhere.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Sis on August 01, 2008, 12:20:38 AM
Is that what they nuthouse these days?  A house of fun?   :laughhard:
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Amelia Bedelia on August 01, 2008, 01:55:56 AM
*Hugs* my cute scruffy nice guy

Nice guys that feel they are being overlooked for bad boys need to make sure they don't get whiny.... be confident in who you are as a nice guy and don't whine about the bad boys getting the chicks.... and really, do you honestly want a girl who is silly enough to go for a bad boy type??
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: upcchris on August 01, 2008, 02:36:40 AM
I know, I mean how silly are you to go for someone who'll treat you badly...or use you, or all but ignore you...or all three?

(Ban the badboy!)  :lol: j/k
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: noodle on August 02, 2008, 01:07:57 AM
Quote from: Amelia Bedelia on August 01, 2008, 01:55:56 AM
*Hugs* my cute scruffy nice guy

Nice guys that feel they are being overlooked for bad boys need to make sure they don't get whiny.... be confident in who you are as a nice guy and don't whine about the bad boys getting the chicks.... and really, do you honestly want a girl who is silly enough to go for a bad boy type??

True. Problem is, some guys are suckers for good looking women. Not me of course. But......you know.......others guys that I know of. But the good looking chicks are the ones that jack you up.
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Melody on August 02, 2008, 02:40:48 AM
gosh. thanks.  My hubby was/is a nice guy, a great guy, I don't consider him finishing last.  Unless maybe I didn't count as a good looking chick.  lol
Title: Re: Singles: Nice Guys Finish Last?
Post by: Ashlee on August 02, 2008, 04:52:17 AM
Quote from: noodle on July 31, 2008, 10:41:45 PM
Quote from: teacheroftheLord on July 31, 2008, 04:13:19 AM
Quote from: noodle on July 30, 2008, 04:21:32 AM
Yeah! It's Mr. Noodle to you! (Your not really a def interpreter are you)?

Yes.  I have been an interpreter for the Deaf in the church setting for almost 10 years.  I am going on my 4th year of working in the school system as an interpreter for the Deaf/Hard of Hearing.

Oh, I thought you all were just messing with me.

Nope