Godplace/Mission238 forums

Has anyone in here read this book ?   I have started reading it and have started to realize what it is that we (men) need from our wifes.  However my wife has not read the book and started discussing some of the issues in the book with her and she said it was hogwash.  Anyways, what is some of ya'lls opinions ? ?

People are people. If you treat them with love and respect you're likely to get it back, especially from your spouse. In the event you don't, you need to talk about things, not hide them and try to bury them inside. Because if you do, you are likely to be resentful and that's not good for any relationship.

*Men need respect, so do women.
*Men need love, so do women.
*Men need to be leaders of their household but that doesn't mean that he is a dictator. My former pastor used to say to the guys, you're crazy if you don't talk things out with your wife, especially large matters and expenditure's. Just because he's the head, doesn't mean she's a child and needs to do as ordered.


Again, people are people. If you treat them well, they will love and respect you. If you treat them like trash, you get what you give.

if there are points in the book that create a basis for conversation, encourage your wife to talk with you about them.  let her know that you're serious and you feel like the book says.  ask her, kindly, to consider what the book says.

leave the book out for her to read.

give her time to think about what she's read.

she may never have had experience with a relationship where thoughts and feelings are dissected and discussed.  if her parents didn't openly communicate, she may not be comfortable with the idea for awhile.

give it time.

Quote from: Sis on February 20, 2008, 11:50:10 PM
People are people. If you treat them with love and respect you're likely to get it back, especially from your spouse. In the event you don't, you need to talk about things, not hide them and try to bury them inside. Because if you do, you are likely to be resentful and that's not good for any relationship.

*Men need respect, so do women.
*Men need love, so do women.
*Men need to be leaders of their household but that doesn't mean that he is a dictator. My former pastor used to say to the guys, you're crazy if you don't talk things out with your wife, especially large matters and expenditure's. Just because he's the head, doesn't mean she's a child and needs to do as ordered.


Again, people are people. If you treat them well, they will love and respect you. If you treat them like trash, you get what you give.

i agree with that whole statement. . . . . I mean I can't even get her to talk to me about it.....

Do you want to talk to her about the book? Or do you have problems in your marriage that she won't discuss? Big difference. If it's your marriage, counseling is the best thing to do. Talking to us won't do much but a professional can help. Even if she won't go with you, go alone.

 oh no, our marriage is great !    She just isn't interested in the book  (which i could really care less) i just wanted some talk about the book.   I love to read and discuss things i find interesting.

PHEW! That's great to hear. I haven't read the book. Give us some of the information from the book and those of us who haven't read it can get in on it, too!

Quote from: NathanTodd on February 21, 2008, 03:43:22 AM
oh no, our marriage is great !    She just isn't interested in the book  (which i could really care less) i just wanted some talk about the book.   I love to read and discuss things i find interesting.

Sounds to me like the two of you did discuss the book. You told her what was in it and she doesn't agree with it.  :grin:

I think that book is fabulous. It's one of the best books on marriage from a Biblical basis that I'm aware of. (Yes, I'm single... and yes, I've read a number of books about marriage... for multiple reasons. *smile*) My dad is a pastor, and since he first discovered that book, he's used it with a number of couples he's counseling.

I do think that both men and women need love AND respect. But Eggerichs has some very valid arguments for why men and women see these issues differently, and has a wonderfully warm, down to earth way of writing.

A lot of people I know had a little lightbullb go on in their heads after reading The Five Love Languages by Chapman, and realized people hear and see love very differently. Love and Respect made a little lightbulb go on in my own head about how men hear and see respect.

It's an excellent read, in my opinion.

:beret:

:lurk:

I'm looking at the love and respect website now.  He's hilarious, and so far everthing is true.  However, as for the spiderwebbing thing, I know guys who do that too.  It is soooo hard to interpret for spiderwebbers.

Quote from: teacheroftheLord on February 21, 2008, 06:15:54 AM
I'm looking at the love and respect website now.  He's hilarious, and so far everthing is true.  However, as for the spiderwebbing thing, I know guys who do that too.  It is soooo hard to interpret for spiderwebbers.

Post the site.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus had some good things about the difference between the way men and women approach things.

*laugh* The site is just loveandrespect.com, Sis. Just like the title.  :thumbsup2:

:beret:

I love and respect you Ruby!

BOL!

http://www.loveandrespect.com/ (http://www.loveandrespect.com/)  I clicked on media center and then clips of the conference

We studied Women are from Mars, Women are from Venus in school.  Because of that, I no longer have a respect for that book. Not because of the book itself, but because of the environment I was in while studying it.  It didn't help that the teacher was a.....well.  nvm.  I'll just have to wash my mouth out with soap if I say it.  :hypocrite:

Quote from: Sis on February 21, 2008, 06:36:04 AM
I love and respect you Ruby!

BOL! Uuuhhhh.... thanks, Sis.... I think.  ;)

:beret:

Quote from: teacheroftheLord on February 21, 2008, 06:36:48 AM
http://www.loveandrespect.com/ (http://www.loveandrespect.com/)  I clicked on media center and then clips of the conference

We studied Women are from Mars, Women are from Venus in school.  Because of that, I no longer have a respect for that book. Not because of the book itself, but because of the environment I was in while studying it.  It didn't help that the teacher was a.....well.  nvm.  I'll just have to wash my mouth out with soap if I say it.  :hypocrite:

So PM me! *Grin*

:laughhard: Thanks Sis, I needed that.  First time I've laughed out loud and meant it in awhile.  lol

I try! I try!  :spam:

  So the wife and I had a talk about the book..... Pretty good. Not bad, very good. . . . :-D

You gonna share?

    Nothing really to share. . . Not on here anyways   :freaky2:    We meet on a middle ground on the subject. . .

Speaking as a man, the key to a happy marriage is more than just loving and respecting your wife.  The key is to "cherish" your wife.  Cherish includes love and respect plus a lot more.  I believe a marriage can be successful with love and respect, but a marriage will not be truly happy until a man can cherish his wife.

Very good book.  It's opened up doors of communication between my hubby and I.  We're considering attending a conference this fall.

Quote from: M‡¢ĦÆŁ Ҝ on April 05, 2008, 07:09:14 AM
Speaking as a man, the key to a happy marriage is more than just loving and respecting your wife.  The key is to "cherish" your wife.  Cherish includes love and respect plus a lot more.  I believe a marriage can be successful with love and respect, but a marriage will not be truly happy until a man can cherish his wife.

for those of you wanting practical advice - there's a man who has a very happy wife.  he knows what he's talking about.  that's good stuff.

and it appears from all we hear that his wife could give some good thoughts on how to treat a husband.  he, apparently, is a very satisfied husband.

seems to be a trend . . . he's happy and she's happy.  hhhhmmm . . ..