Godplace/Mission238 forums

Did you live on your own before you got married or did you go directly from mom & dad to spouse?
If you had to do it over would you do it differently?

I went directly from my mom's house to Josh's apartment.  I wish I would have lived on my own first, learned some life lessons before getting married.

I'm not married. But I have lived on my own for five years now. ;)

I lived alone.  First in an apartment, and later to a house!!

Am sooooooooooooooo glad I did that!!

I may reply a bit more later when I have time...

sharon

I'm not married, but I live alone and am thankful for that.  Accountability to ones' self is a challenge.

Both my husband and I went straight from our parents homes to living together. It hasn't been easy adjusting, but we've managed. I don't regret doing it that way. It's just a lot of learning and adjusting that's all.

My hubby and I both went from our parents houses to living together, and that was the only way we could have done it. It's too expensive for young couples to live out here, muchless single people. He was making enough to probably scrape by at the time, but there was no way I could have afforded it. We adjusted to life just fine, both of our parents taught us about finances well, and we both were good with responsibility. So I'm glad we did it that way.

Went straight from my parents house to being married.  Sometimes i wish i had lived on my own a little first.  I wouldn't have been able to afford it though.  I guess i could have stayed in a dorm at college. 
either way, i think we both adjusted just fine to the way it was done.  He didn't live on his own first either, but he had stayed at a college dorm some.

I lived with my parents before we got married. I really couldn't afford to live on my own b/c I had so many bills and my parents were in no hurry to get rid of me. I'm actually glad I didn't because I've learned so much from my parents that really benefit me now in keeping my own house. Although i lived @ home I was very independent and i still am which gets on my hubby's nerves. Oh well. Sorry honey.

I was 25 when I got my first apartment by myself.  I had already been out once, but had moved home for 6 months to "regroup" so to speak.

I lived upstairs from a NOISY guy!!  I remember STOMPING out of my apt at 2 AM to go stay with dad, because the guy below me kept having wild parties!!  ughhhh

I finally told the landlord I'd had ENOUGH, when she told me about this cute little house......and if I'd wait 30 days they'd let me have it...........And the little house was PERFECT!!  It was CUTE!!  they put all new carpet and linoleum in it for me....built me a new front porch, painted it, and roofed it.  I bought the house about a year later.

The little house is right across the street from me..............that little house is what led me to my husband!!  It was right across the street and he came and asked me to dinner and I asked him to church.......and the rest is HISTORY as they say!!!

I LOVED living out on my own.  I was incredibly independent.....The only thing I didn't like, was one morning I was leaving for work, and looked out and someone had stolen my TIRE right off my car!!!  They still had the car jacked up, and just left it!! 

sharon

i had to pick other. i have lived off and on with my parents for about 3-4 years. right now i am back with them due to some other circumstances. matt is living with his mom, but will be moving into our apartment next week. he'll have a month to live alone until we get married.

I moved out when I was 19, and it was the right move for me to make


.....not sure that I'd recommend many 19 year olds to move 2500 miles away across the ocean though  :o

its definitely had its challenges, but I'm glad I did it the way I did.

I wanted to move out, but it was never practical, it wouldn't have worked!! I kinda wish there were a few things that I'd done differently so that it MIGHT have worked - but ah well!! We did ok ;)

I live alone, and I'm not married.. I think it's a good thing to be on your own before marriage - it's a great learning experience! ;)

I went straight from my parents house to being married. I haven't regretted once. It was a little bit of an adjustment, but we did just fine. We actually did alot better when we moved to Alaska away from Oregon and both set of Parents.

I lived on my own and LOVED it, infact I wish I would have done if for a few more years before getting married.  I liked having to only worry about me.  Plus I learned some valuable lessons.  :D

I lived on my own for several years and loved it.

I went from my parents' house to moving in w/ Nick in our tiny 280sq foot apartment.  Ahhh...I'll always have fond memories of that little dinky thing. lol


I don't think I could ever be happy living ~alone~ alone...  When I lived w/ my parents, I hated when they'd go away and I'd be home alone for a weekend or whatever...  Nick just went to Men's Conference last week, and I hated being alone while he was gone there for 3 days (I went to stay w/ my mom last Friday night - lol).  I just like being around people.

But if I'd had the option of having a roommate of sorts, I probably wouldn't have minded that before marriage.  *shrugs*  But I got married a couple years into college...all-in-all I was pretty young, but it was just the right time for Nick and I to get married.  We'd been friends for 4 years and dating seroiusly for 2 years...it was just...time. lol  And I really haven't regretted it at all.

Like I said, I don't think I'd enjoy living completely by myself...I'd have to have a roommate.  As it was, after I moved out of my parents' house, I moved in with my best friend. ;)  So, I don't regret it in the least.

:o You lived in a 280 sq. ft. apartment?!?!?

Whoa. I'm just ONE person living in 1000 sq. ft... And sometimes I think it's small!

280 sqr feet???

We live in a 600 sqr foot house right now and are moving into something that is between 2400 and 3600 in less than a year.  THAT will finally give us enough space.  Personally, if heating/cooling such a large place wasn't so expensive, I wouldn't mind a 10,000+ home!
Like a converted theater/school/grocery store/church........

She's an Elf, remember.....Elves live in holes in trees......  280 square feet is a pretty big pad.

I lived on my own for a few years*.  I'm glad I did, it taught me to me independent and how to manage a house and finances.  Learning to pay my own bills would not have been a good thing to learn after getting married.

*The first year or so was with roommates.  After that, it was just me.

Those of you that mentioned lessons learned... other than financial responsibilities what are some of the things you learned?  Those of you living alone, what are some of the things you're learning or hoping to learn?
Those of you that didn't live alone and kinda wish you had, what are some of the things you think you would have learned or would have wanted to learn?

thanks!

-housekeeping   (no comments, sippintea!!!!)
-time management
-resourcefulness
-budgeting
-cockroach killing


thats just a few off the top of my head---overall, just a general self-reliance that I think would be hard to learn without being on one's own.

 :ignore: :ignore: :ignore: :ignore: :ignore: :ignore:

I'm trying, I'm trying, I'm really, really trying...

:ignore: :ignore: :ignore: :ignore: :ignore: :ignore:

:beret:

LOL  come on, can she share with us just a little bit?  :up2:   :biglaugh:

no!!

:bah:

Aw! Haha! Why not?

*pat pat pat* Don't worry little bro...I'm not tellin' nothin'.  :cool:

:beret:

'cause then I'd have to kill her, and I'd really, really hate to have to do that  :o


.....let's just say that my ant colony still hasn't recovered from her visit  :biglaugh:

LOL 

:laughhard: Got'cha!

While I still enjoy the occasional times when I have the house to myself, living on my own taught me the importance of companionship.  Honestly, there were times when I didn't feel like going back to an empty apartment after work.

Living on your own, by yourself, has it's positive side, but there is just nothing like coming home to be with the one you love and who loves you.  It makes coming home after work worth it.

It has always been my opinion that before getting married, everyone needs to live in an apartment on their own for at least 6 months. We all need to learn to be self sufficient and know how to take care of ourselves without anyone around to back us up.

Reason?

Too often a couple is married and goes from mom and dad's house to co habitation with their spouse.  Then somewhere down the line a divorce or death happens and you are suddenly alone with no clue how to live alone.  I have known too many people suddenly left alone who suffer depression because they just do not know how to handle living on their own.

When I first moved out, I lived in a furnished apartment owned by the nicest lady who ever lived.  This lady went to my church and had several apartments that she rented out.  I paid cheap rent and had great neighbors (all church people).

I learned to pay the rent, the phone bill, car payments, car insurance, visa bill, buy my own gas, get the oil changed, budget for groceries, and other expenses.  I found out that I didn't run around as much as I used to run around (I had bills to pay), I started reading more, had a great stereo system and started to mature faster.

Soon AFTER my company transfered me to a different state and I KNEW how to survive without anyone.  That is the most important thing that you learn living on your own.

We all want to believe that our marriages will last or that our spouses will live forever, but sad to say that doesn't happen.

A great friend of mine died a few months ago, leaving her husband and several kids behind.  I grew up with her and we ran around together in our younger years. Suddenly she developed Cancer and lost the battle. Now her husband is alone trying to raise kids.

I just got the word that another friend of mine has cancer and they do not know how long she has to live. I don't know her hubby, but he will be facing life alone soon.

When we were teenagers, both of these gals were full of live, loud, God Loving, good Christian holy ghost filled girls, full of talent and a heart full of service for God.

They never planned for early deaths and their husbands didn't marry them expecting them to die.

I have a good friend who fights depression and anger.  Twice he was left high and dry by a wife that backslid after having affairs.  He did not know how to live alone and had to force himself to learn how to live alone.

He forced him self to go out to a nice restaurant on a Saturday night and take a book along. It was hard to sit alone while couples around him looked at each other with goo goo eyes. It has taken him several years of depression and loud whining to learn how to be alone. Had he learned that prior to marriage, he'd know how to handle it better.

 :great:

excellent observations

I am living on my own (getting married in 1 month 3 weeks and 6 days), I always wanted to live on my own at least a little while before I got married because I have always been so dependent on my parents. I interviewed for a couple different jobs my last year in college, and it just happened that one was in Cincinnati (where I lived my whole life and only an hour away from Tyler), one was in Columbus, and the last one was in Cleveland.  Well I learned pretty fast that I didn't want the one in Cincinnati. The one in Columbus had a lot of unanswered questions and some of the stuff they were telling me made me take a step back. The one in Cleveland was a perfect fit from day one. Everything positioned itself perfectly for my to take the job in Cleveland. My mom was even dealing with it ok, and that's saying something. I'm an only child, her "Holy Ghost baby" as she calls me (my parents found out I was commin along about a month after she received the Holy Ghost). Needless to say she is a little protective and...um...smothering...um...yeah *cough*

Anyways, I talked to Tyler about it and I told him honestly that if he did not want to move to Cleveland, I would turn down the job and keep looking. Without hesitation he said "I'll go wherever you want to go", even though I know he really really really wanted to move to Montana to be near his dad and that side of his family.

Anyway, I started my new job in June. So by necessity I have had to grow up and be responsible for myself pretty quickly. And I am so glad that I did for a couple of reasons....

1. I discovered that there is absolutely not one iota of doubt in my mind that I want to spend the rest of my life with Tyler. Being so far away from him made me realize how much being even an hour away from him means to me. I miss him and can't see myself ever living without him.

2. On the other hand, I have discovered that I am very independent. Who knew???? I have always been a follower, and I'll admit, a little clingy. Being on my own, far enough from home that i can't depend on anyone but myself day to day has taught me that no matter what happens in life, I WILL BE OKAY! I can take care of myself, and I am really good at it! I have developed so much more self-esteem, self-worth and self-admiration in the few months I have been here, than I ever did the first 24 years of my life! I really feel that I am so much more prepared and able to take care of Tyler and our children now that I have learned how to take care of myself lol

3. I'm away from my parents so they can't spoil me and do everything for me. And that's about all I'll say about that point

About the apartment thing...I'm living in a two bedroom, two full bath 1060 sqft apartment with a 20' long living room and a matching balcony off the living room. I NEVER could have afforded this in Cincinnati. I LOVE CLEVELAND!!(Well, Mayfield Heights actually, but neways...)

I have rambled on long enough, but I just wanna say this. I know living on your own before marriage just isn't right for some people, but for me it completely changed my life. I wish I had done it sooner.

Geri

Awesome!  Glad to hear its all working out so well for you!

Quote from: Geri on July 28, 2007, 02:43:58 PM
but for me it completely changed my life. I wish I had done it sooner.

I hear ya!!! LOL

I'm finally on my own now and LOVING it!!!!!! 

No big revelations or huge learning adjustments so far, I was already as independent as possible before but boy is it sure nice to actually live it
My life is all my own, just me and God living it up - doors opening and me getting to walk right through :grin:
The stress is all my own and its a happy sort of stress LOL

Alone yet sooooo NOT lonely

This rocks  :grin:

Quote from: M‡¢ĦÆŁ Ҝ on March 17, 2007, 09:48:38 AM
While I still enjoy the occasional times when I have the house to myself, living on my own taught me the importance of companionship.  Honestly, there were times when I didn't feel like going back to an empty apartment after work.

Living on your own, by yourself, has it's positive side, but there is just nothing like coming home to be with the one you love and who loves you.  It makes coming home after work worth it.

Aww...that's really sweet. 

Four years on my own and I'm soon to be back with the 'rents. 

Living alone is a challenge.  Living as an adult with your parents could present it's own set of challenges.

I love a challenge.  Smile.

I lived alone and I'm glad I did. I also had a child though, so, I kinda had no choice but to live on my own.

I moved out when I was 21, moved BACK at 23, and back out at 25.

Living alone is nice. I love the fact that I can come and go as I please, and I dont have to do anything I dont want to do. I love the fact that I can get a phone call, and I can rush right out and take care of something or somebody and not have to worry about telling anyone anything, or finding a sitter or whatever. I just jump up and go.

I do not like being alone ALL the time, but I dont think I would like anyone there all the time either. And I dont like being responsible for all the bills and not having a hot meal unless I cook it myself, and I hate eating alone when I do fix a good hot meal.

So it has its ups and downs, but I might as well get used to it, cause Im not getting married anytime soon, and I dont plan on moving back in with my parents either.

But I have learned alot, and I have grown up too, since that first run-down-leaking-over-my-bed-no-heat-no-stove-flames-shoot-out-of-the-light-socket-Cat-goes-outside-thru-a-hole-under-bathroom-sink-bed-fill-up-the-whole-bed-room-Ill-have-company-over-anyway trailer I used to live in! But I lived there for a year and a half and I was the happiest there! GO FIGURE!

I'm planning on living alone a good while before I get married..

I've been on my own since I was 18 but have always had at least one roommate. As of April, however, I'll be living in my own apartment before Taurean and I get married (if we do).

I think it's a good idea to be able to live on your own before you get married, even if you need to have a roommate. It creates a lot of responsibility and also lets you get the feel of what it's like to pay your own bills and be your own person.

To each his/her own though ;)

Lived alone for awhile. Had a roommate, but when I was working nights, she was partying and everyone was eating us out of house and home so I had to tell my best friend to move. She hasn't spoken to me since. It was necessary. When I got home, I was dead tired and wanted to sleep but couldn't with a house full of people. We only had four rooms.

I didn't live on my own before getting married. I wouldn't want to live alone. Which is kind of funny, considering I tend to be a loner. lol But I would be too lonely and bored if I lived alone. Besides, I didn't have any money.

My husband and I lived with my mom (parents separated some time around the time I got married - they divorced a few years later) for over a year before we got our own place in eastern NC, where the cost of living is lower. We moved back to the city we're in now almost a year later, but didn't move back in with my mom. We were doing fine financially by then and could afford our own place here.