I came home from church one Sunday and was eating lunch. I had dropped some food on my skirt so I took my skirt off and put in the washing machine.
That evening I was in a hurry to get to Sunday evening service. I brushed my teeth, slipped on my shoes, grabbed my purse and hurried out the door. When I got inside the church and started up to the front pew and sat down. A dear sister behind me tapped me on the shoulder and whispered, "Sis, You forgot something". I was only wearing a blouse and a half-slip.
Can you imagine what all everybody had to talk about on the phone that night!! <a href="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fwww.smileycentral.com%252F%253Fpartner%253DZSzeb008%255FZKxdm021YYUS%2526i%253D36%252F36%255F13%255F1%2526feat%253Dprof/page.html" target="_blank">(http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_13_1.gif)
Funny things at Church?
We had one lady at church (that will remain namelss because some members of that church post here) who was a very excited shouter. One night she started dancing & Jumping then suddenly fell flat on her face. She had danced her panty hose down around her ankles and tripped herself.
I was visiting a church when a larger guy jumped up and started running the isles with his EYES CLOSED! As he rounded the back turn we heard a loud
SMACK! He ran right into a brick wall. He was ''slain in the spirit'' for a while.
One young man stood to testify and meant to say '' I was visiting my dad in the hospital and had a chance to witness to his roommate''.
What he said was
'' I was visiting my dad in the hospital and had a chance to witness to his BED-mate''.
:popcorn:
We had one old man at our church that fell asleep in the altar EVERY NIGHT! You could hear him snoring.
One minister preached that Jonah was swollowed by a whale of a belly. When he realized what he said he laughed for nearly 15 minutes. We almost had to dismiss that night.
Once a minister mentioned a 6 shot revolver, but had a slip of the tongue and inserted an I for the O.
One well known preacher started running the isles and when he came to himself, he was 5 blocks from the church.
OH, LAWD!!! My side is splitting! :laughhard: I have a big visual image in my imagination!
One night my aunt was tesifying and she was trying to say " Ya'll just pray for me that I'll always be a bright and shining light." But she had to catch her teeth and got her tongue tangled up and said, " Ya'll just pray for me that I'll always be a light and brinning shite!
{Another one} I dont know if this really happened, but I read it as a joke.
A woman said to another, "that sermon was so long I almost fell asleep in church."
The other lady said, "well I sat there so long my 'behind' went to sleep". The first woman said,"Yeah
I know, I heard you snore 3 times."
My two stories:
Logan Burpo is now a precocious 7 year old but then he was two. This happened within two weeks of each other...
1. Brother Seniour was PREACHING. As in shouting, and pounding the pulpit preaching. And Logan, wide eyed looks up and YELLS "Preach it bonehead!"
(Yeah, his Mom was red and Bro. Seniour lost us for a bit)
2. Logan was playing with the pastor's daughter a few weeks later... Cammie had her barbies (why she didn't give him Ken I don't know) but she gave him one. Being two, he strips her down to her nothins' and then announces quite loudly at a serious point in the sermon "She's not wearing any underwear"
yeah
ROFL
Nai
AHHHH! I imagine everybody cracked up!
That reminds me of something else a long time ago. I was visiting a church and it was so crowded that I had to sit in a fold-up chair behind the back pew.
A woman was sitting on the pew in front of me and had two rowdy little boys that kept squiggling around. She stood up with a very long testimony. (I dont know how to put this nicely)
Her skirt was stuck up in her 'nether- regions' on her backside. So her little boy, trying to do his mom a favour, reached up his little hand and pulled her skirt out.
She stops testifying really quick and says, "STOP IT< SIT DOWN!" Then she goes on with the rest of her testimony. The little boy didn't really know what to do, he was just trying to correct his mistake, So he quickly poked it back up in there! SMACK!
I thought I would laugh my spleen up!
:laughhard: :laughhard: :laughhard: :laughhard: :laughhard: :laughhard: :laughhard: :laughhard: :laughhard: :laughhard: :laughhard:
Tears are flowin' down my cheeks!
Oh my!
Well , we can add another one onto the pile!
Before church everybody was shaking hands and greeting on another and talking. A preacher who was standing in front of me had on a pair of suspenders to hold his pants up. The back of his suspenders lost grip and flew up. Popped me right in the nose! Left a blood blister.
When he got up to preach, he just looked back there at me holding my nose. He almost started laughing as he was turning red from embarrassment. He was trying to find something he could say, He said, "Well I guess if I cant step on your toes, I'll just pop you in the nose".
Everybody was laughing! <a href="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fwww.smileycentral.com%252F%253Fpartner%253DZSzeb008%255FZKxdm021YYUS%2526i%253D10%252F10%255F1%255F129v%2526feat%253Dprof/page.html" target="_blank">(http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/10/10_1_129v.gif)
well when I was 11 My dad and this other preacher were doing a revival.. I had got up to go to the bath room and as I rounded the back corner this girl reached over and pulled my skirt down... in front of the guy I liked at the time (me and the guy are now best friends and he still doesn't let me live it down and its been 7 years ago)!!!!
One Sunday night I was going to be playing the piano for my dad while he sang I had on a bright lime green outfit on that night well when He called me up he said will kermit the frog please join me on the platform then spent like 5 minutes making fun of my outfit...
I have an outfit that everyone calls me Madame Blueberry when I wear it! ROFL!
:laughhard: :laughhard: :laughhard: Y'all killing me!!! Kermit The Frog and Madame Blueberry :laughhard: :laughhard:
Here's a joke somebody sent me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards. The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father.' The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.' The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many.' The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!' The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds', and went back to reading his book. The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, ''Maybe you should put your pants on backwards instead of your collar.
These are so funny!!!
When I was still single and going to my home church, I was walking off the platform, when I tripped and started to fall. Well, there was a man standing there and he tried to catch me, the bad thing is I'm a rolypoly woman, and he was a little skinny man, probably about 130lbs. He held his hands out to catch me, and I took him down too.
Then, when I started praise singing at my church now, the pastor made it clear no eating or drinking in church. I had a mint in my mouth, because of course we eat mints like steak, I opened my mouth to sing and spit it out, right on pastor, it hit his shoe, he looked down and then looked at me as if to say, I said no eating. What, it wasn't me.LOL
:laughhard: :laughhard: I think I just felt my elastic snap! :laughhard: :laughhard: My sides are splitting.
One night during church, My sister was sitting on the front pew. She has a head full of long, thick hair. One Sunday night during church a huge red wasp flew into her hair and when she swatted at it with her hand it got stuck in her hair. She jumped up from the pew and was slapping and slinging her hair and squealing.
The woman sitting behind her didnt know she had a wasp in her hair. She started clapping & Praising the Lord & getting a blessing and saying , "Do it again Lord! Bless her Good! Wheew Bless her Good! WHEEEEEEW Praise The Lord!! We still laugh about that.
Im headed off to visit a neighboring Apostolic church tonight. Never can tell what might happen next!
Quote from: Chas_18 on May 14, 2008, 04:40:10 PM
One Sunday night I was going to be playing the piano for my dad while he sang I had on a bright lime green outfit on that night well when He called me up he said will kermit the frog please join me on the platform then spent like 5 minutes making fun of my outfit...
I think thats the one you guys told me about, right? I thought it was a hat, or something though... lol
----
My Most Embarrassing moment, was when I got up to sing, and my retarted aunt was behind of me, with a broom brushing my back with it... I opened my mouth to sing, and busted out laughing right in the mic... - everyone in the church lost it... - church was over at that point... - that was about a month or two ago...
----
One of my aunts one time was shouting, and her slip fell down, she kicked it under the pew behind her with her foot, and kept on shouting...
one year at camp, there was this Horsefly that bit this girl named heather, during the preaching she screamed and jumped up and ran half way down the aisle like it was chasing her, and the preacher made a funny remark, like the girl was getting in or something
My Cousin Shiela, got up to sing, and her slip fell to her ankles in the middle of her song.
Tonight, my pastor while getting up to start service looked at someone and said "Its so Good to see you tonight Ashley!" then he said "Oh wait... your not ashley!" then he said "Maybe you are Ashley, I aint saying ANYTHING else!" - lol... he was so embarrassed... in the End, it "Was" Ashley... one of our Regular members thats came to our little church for years... she just had her hair down, and he thought it was someone else for a second... lol
----------
Heres the Funniest One of All, in Crestview church, in Berea Kentucky, so I've heard..... there was a man got up to preach one night, and he said "Everyone turn to the second book of Glasses while I get my peter out of my pocket" - - - He was so embarrased, I heard he sat down right then... lol
also, in the same church an Elderly (kind of senile) woman came out of the Bathroom, and she was shouting up the ailse, there was no music and everyone in the building Got REAL Quiet because they thought she was prophesying or something... she was saying " Shooo.... ohhhhhh.... Shooooo Whhhyyyy I saaay unto you this night... There is no toilet paper!" - and flopped into her seat.
:laughhard:
:laughat:
You have a weird family. But I'd like to know why your aunt was sweeping you.
Quote from: Sis on May 18, 2008, 03:53:19 AM
:laughat:
You have a weird family. But I'd like to know why your aunt was sweeping you.
lol, I have a VERY Weird family... lol - thier hillarious! --- My aunt was sweeping me, because everyone was down praying, it was alter call she didnt think anyone would see it, and it would be a harmless little thing... - Pastor used a broom as an illistration during his preaching, and left it on the pulpit beside my aunt... she reaches over, when everyone got down to pray and right when I was opening my mouth to sing, she sweeps the broom across my back whispering "Bless him lord, Bless him lord!" ---- I instantly just burst into loud screaming laughter, right in the Microphone.......
Well, I certainly can understand that. I would've too. :laughhard:
LOL. Knowing me, I would have been the one doing the sweeping. I'm weird too. I love playing practical jokes. :freaky2:
Back in the church I grew up in my dad came into service late one evening wearing a black turtleneck and a black suit jacket that kinda had a priest look to it. The brother who was leading the service calls out to my dad from the platform "Praise the Lord Father (insert last name)".
Back when I was first learning how to dress myself, one night my mom got me to church only to realize I was that I was rather lumpy. She begin to investigate and come to find out that in dressing myself I'd put on a pair of her underware and had it wrapped around me a few times.
When my brother and I was little, my mom stood up one night in church to testify. My brother stood up on the pew beside her and begin to strip off his clothing. Not sure how undressed he got before my mom glanced down and realized what he was doing.
another one I thought of just as I hit post...
My mom and dad used to teach the same sunday school class years ago. That sunday they was doing the prodigal son. Dad had built a pen in the classroom and arranged with a farmer friend of his to bring in a small pig for the lesson. Well after sunday school they put the pig back into the back of the truck they was using to transport it and while they was getting other things ready to go the pig jump out of the back of the truck and started off down the road. My mom was several months pregnant with my brother at the time but had to take off and chase that pig down the road and finally caught up with it.
Everytime I come back and read this, it gets funnier!! There's no way this stuff could be made up. haha :laughhard:
Ya'll just made me remember one that happened when I was about 17 . I went to a youth camp and was staying in the girls dorms. There was this girl named Roxanne who acted very smart and rude to me the whole time. She actually told me she couldnt stand me. She was really upty and snooty. Most of us other girls who were staying in the dorms thought she was bossy and very conceited. You know how it is around other girls when youre a teenager.
I can't say I wasnt checking out the guys there myself, but I know some of the girls had their minds more on the boys than having church. Seemed like Roxanne figured all the guys there were just dying for her phone number or something.
One evening Roxanne comes twisting in wearing a very tight dress that had big buttons all the way down the back from the neck to the hem. Somehow this dress managed to unbutton itself (I guess cause it was too tight). We were all asked to give a testimony.
When Roxanne stood up, her dress was open from her bra down to her thighs. I remember when she stood up, she was tugging on her dress. Her testimony began with a very loud tearful OMG!
She tried to sit down really quick, but her seat was folded up and she couldnt get it back down. (it was those fold in auditorium seats) She took off to the bathroom almost in tears.
All I knew was, I was glad it wasnt me! :laughhard: That's what happens when you're rude to people.
I remember a lady worshipping and praising and she lost her slip. She had been losing weight, so it fell right off, when she lifted her arms. LOL She was between the pews, though so only a few of us saw it happen and it's a good thing we were all women.
My cousin told me that she was at church one night and a preacher was preaching. He threw his leg way up high in the air and shouted WHOO GLORY! His shoe went flying up in the air and came back down and hit him in the top of the head!! :laughhard: :laughhard: :laughhard: :laughhard:
:laughat:
We had this older guy, probably in his 70s, that went to our church. He wasn't the brightest crayon in the box. He had this "adopted" daughter that was probably in her late 30s to 40s that came with him to church some. She was worse off mentally than he was.
Well, apparently, one evening she was wearing a new dress or something, because there was a price tag or something sticking out. They were sitting down toward the front in the middle set of pews. He starts trying to get this tag off the daughter's dress. He couldn't seem to get it. Finally he got up on the pew on one knee and tried to bite it off with his teeth! I was laughing so hard my shoulder's were shaking. I could just see him getting that little plastic thing that attaches the tag hung in his false teeth and imagine them dangling from her shoulder. :laughhard:
We have a guy in our church who is not really bright in some ways. He doesnt notice things that you and I notice. He usually passes gas in church whenever he needs to, but it's no big deal to him, nor is it even funny to him. To him its just a common thing. Man, he has had some thunderous mishapes from time to time, but he just goes right along like it nothing happened.
I don't know if anyone else in the church has ever told him that he's not suppose to do that, or if they know how to gently bring the subject up. I don't know if our Pastor has mentioned it to him. I feel it's not my place straighten that sort of thing out. haha
The whole pew behind where he sits is usually empty unless there is someone who doesnt "know". One night my grandpa in his 80's came in and sat down and propped his walking cane up against the pew in front of him. And Papaw was the type to say what he thought.
One Sunday morning during Sunday School, Pop says out loud during church, " Somebody needs to go to the barn!!" Yep, we all knew what had happened. I thought I was going to have to crawl UNDER the pew.
ooops, this is Mrs. Yosemite, forgot to sign yosemite out.
Then you went home and cracked up?
I was at the church I was attending full time a while back, and while gathering some of my stuff from the music section as I was taking it home, the founding bishop's wife came up to chat. (she is in her late 70's if not early 80's). Well, she took a step to my left and lo and behold- as she was doing so she asked me a question (I forget), but as I look up to answer her slip fell to the floor. I turned bright red with laughter (trying not to laugh out loud!), and she doesn't miss a beat, she said "at least I can still make young men blush"!!!! She is a sweet heart!!!!
Quote from: nwlife on May 21, 2008, 09:21:42 AM
she said "at least I can still make young men blush"!!!!
That's absolutely great...lol.
We have two little boys at our church, one of whom is my two year old nephew. When we started potty training him, we told him to let us know when he had to go potty. We've maintained this course of action. A few months back, Caden jumps up excitedly from the pew and yells, "Sissy, I hafta go pee-pee!" I thought I was going to die. I don't know if embarrasment, the urge to discipline him, or the desire to laugh held first place, but I scooped him up and headed to the restroom as the congregation attempted to choke back their giggles.
About a week before that, the other little boy, Joe-man, as we call him, wanted to come sit with Caden and play. His grandmother told him he had to wait until the Pastor, Joe-man's great-grandfather, finished the sermon. Joe-man gets this thoughtful expression on his face before loudly yelling, "Shut up, Papa! I want to see him and I can't until you're quiet." Karen did her best to muffle his outburst, but Joe-man just yelled louder. A hush fell over the crowd and everyone, including the Pastor chuckled for a good minute or two.
Ah, the joys of Terrible Twos and Terrorizing Threes...
HA!! Oh man we would have a really long thread if people told what all their kids have done. lol
My grandma told me several times down thru my years how I embarrassed her in church when I was 3. She said there was this very long winded preacher who preached and preached until almost 1:00 one Sunday morning. She said when he was closed his bible and started walking away from the pulpit, I yelled out "THANK GOD!". I wonder if Grandma probably stuck her head in her purse.
My Mother likes to tell that when I was 2 I was standing on the pew, and I had emptied all the stuff out of the bag that had all my toys and things in it, and I had it on my head. The pastor stopped preaching and had everyone turn and look at my new hat, and how cute it was. :roll:
HA! I imagine you probably felt embarrassed. :laughhard: :laughhard:
I doubt it...I was always the kid who wanted all the attention. Im not like that now at all though... *cough*
I can remember somthing my brother did. Growing up before my parents divorced, we went to a presberterian church. Well they had a time for the kids to come up fromt each sunday morning. Once my brother was the last one to come up one morning so the preacher there asked him what he wanted to do when he grew up, Well my dad had taught him somthing not so nice to say when ppl asked what he wanted to do so heres the edited version of what my brother who was 4 at the time said in front of a whole church Drink liquer, chase women and (edited) like that. Needless to say my mom and dad sunk down in their pews hoping to not be noticed and that was the last so called cute saying dad taught my brother lol
Guess that'll teach him not to think teaching his kid something like that is cute. :laughhard:
My little brother came with my mother to a Christmas play the Sunday School was putting on in the evening one year. My brother was about 2 or 3 at the time. I was 4 1/2 years older. I was in the angel choir. We opened with a song, while Mary, Josheph, and the wisemen came down the aisle.
My brother shouted, "Hey! There's Robin Hood..." My mother clamped her hand over his mouth but he pulled it away and finished, "And his merry men!"
I was embarassed. Devistated. I thought I'd never live it down. LOL I did!
hahahahahha!! :laughhard: well mary men or mam, thats a gooden. hahahaha
A couple of years ago this lady had come to church with her almost 3-year old granddaughter, and right in the middle of the sermon you hear the kid call out, "Grandma, I just [let gas]! All of a sudden you hear one or two people giggle, then all of a sudden almost the whole congregation was laughing and my pastor missed it, and he's the type not to get angry but stop and ask what's so funny, so someone shouts it out. The poor grandma was dark red
About the Kermit outfit comment, I get called that at church all the time too, b/c I used to wear this neon green jacket.
One time I stepped on the hem of my really long skirt getting onto the platform and pulled my skirt down.
Another time I tripped and fell straight over the snare drum and knocked the floor tom over
This past winter we had a visiting evangelist with his wife and teenage son. After service the evangelist and his son and some of us young people got into a snowball fight after church and his son through a snowball at me that it my skirt right between the legs and ripped it down... everyone was just cracking up laughing, including the evangelist.
Before music practice one Sunday morning my pastor's wife (and worship leader) started praying, and out comes, "Thank you God for this food, I ask that you bless it..." and I looked up at her confused but she kept going so I just bowed my head again and kept praying... poor thing was so tired. She eventually realized what she had said though
During music practice one time my pastor told his son (who's like my brother bc my pastor adopted me when I was in high school so we're really close) to bring his toy remote control tarantula to church and made it crawl up the platform towards me. Never have they seen someone scream and jump up so fast I about threw the drum sticks at him
Speaking of drums, there's been services that have been really good and I've gotten off the platform with sweat stains on my clothes. Good thing I'm not easily embarrassed or I would have not raised my hands all service.
We once had an evangelist who everyone knew was single and wanted me to hook up with, but I said no you don't flirt with evangelists lol... well after service this older lady comes and tells me that the evangelist "had eyes for me". About two or three months later I invited a friend from work to church, and he looked kind of like the evangelist, and I guess the lady thought so bc she kept winking at me while I was on the platform, as if to say, "Good job!"
I can't think of anything embarrassing that happened to me at church
unless you count that time I got in a fight with the evangelists son. People still talk about that. lol
Wow Nessie!
Some of the very same things that have happened to you have happened to me too! I also play drums at my church and one night I testified and started to sit back down, but I sat too far back on the stool and fell over, You never heard such crashings and banging around. Sounded like a bull in a marching band. One of my sticks flew over and landed in the bapstry. Our pastor whirled around like WHAT IN THE WORLD!
One Sunday morning after church some kids were outside throwing snowballs, ( little snowballs) and our Pastor's wife was going toward her car when somebody threw a snowball at me and I ducked, It Hit our Pastor's wife in the back of the neck and it went down her collar!!! (oops) it was ON THEN!
And it also happened to me one night I was knelt at the alter praying. I had on a big skirt with an elastic waist band. The heel of my shoe was on the hem of my skirt when I stood up and pulled my skirt part of the way down before I grabbed it! WHEW that was close!!
OH I JUST REMEMBERED and I had forgot All about this one!!!
One night a woman of another faith/denomination or whatever came to our church. Some of the Holy Ghost filled people were shouting and then this lady comes out of her pew shouting too. Her wig fell off! She reached down picked up her wig and put it back on. Then went back to shouting and never skipped a beat! hahaha :laughhard: :laughhard:
I guess if that hadve been me, I'd have just kicked it under the pew.
:laughat:
We had a visiting preacher one night not long ago who's wife had just had a baby. He was preaching so hard that his forhead was sweating. He reached in his pocket to grab his hankerchef and patted his forehead with it. He had a funny look on his face when he noticed it was a pamper! :biglaugh:
bev,,,,,,i remember the mint thing
luke drooled m and ms on my pastors shoes...shortly after he had announced no FOOD, CANDY, OR DRINKS in the sanctuary....my mil had thought it was necessary for him to have the m&ms....lol
he was still little...luckily
i had on a flow-ey skirt 1 night...went to the bathroom and came out with part of the back tucked into my panty hose...
we had an older woman fall down the platform stairs 1 time...shouldnt be funny....but..........it was
pastor confused the saying *pitched their tents* before....it was quite funny...he ALWAYS says funny stuff...i need to write it all down
Quote from: *mesipie* on May 23, 2008, 05:39:42 AM
i had on a flow-ey skirt 1 night...went to the bathroom and came out with part of the back tucked into my panty hose...
<a href="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fwww.smileycentral.com%252F%253Fpartner%253DZSzeb008%255FZKxdm021YYUS%2526i%253D4%252F4%255F1%255F219%2526feat%253Dprof/page.html" target="_blank">(http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_1_219.gif)
luckily it wasnt too tight/straight of a skirt...lol
Quote from: *mesipie* on May 23, 2008, 05:39:42 AM
pastor confused the saying *pitched their tents* before....it was quite funny...he ALWAYS says funny stuff...i need to write it all down
He's probably glad you don't.
Quote from: Chseeads on May 26, 2008, 02:01:59 AM
Quote from: *mesipie* on May 23, 2008, 05:39:42 AM
pastor confused the saying *pitched their tents* before....it was quite funny...he ALWAYS says funny stuff...i need to write it all down
He's probably glad you don't.
yeah probably
One night a woman came to church, she came up for prayer. She said Pastor I have all these elements in my body. I just believe if I lay down on the floor and you anoint me all over my backside then I roll over and you anoint me all over my front side God will heal me. I said how about I just anoint your head.
We used to have a family in our church that a a son with a mental problem among other things. He was between 450 - 500 lbs. Well one night we were having a good service and we started a victory march. I stopped in the back of the church was going to pray for the people as they passed, I noticed no one was coming past I looked up and this Guy with the mental problem was blocking the aisle and directing traffic like a cop. He was sending everyone around a different way.
Quote from: Brother Dad on May 26, 2008, 05:29:30 PM
We used to have a family in our church that a a son with a mental problem among other things. He was between 450 - 500 lbs. Well one night we were having a good service and we started a victory march. I stopped in the back of the church was going to pray for the people as they passed, I noticed no one was coming past I looked up and this Guy with the mental problem was blocking the aisle and directing traffic like a cop. He was sending everyone around a different way.
:laughhard:
I do remember somthing funny our youth did when our pastor was turning 50. Now this was back in the 80s.
Sis Caldwell our pastors wife had went and got wal mart I think it was to loan her a store wheelchair. At the time I was a candystripper at a local hospital, So that Sunday they had me come wearing my uniform from that and we wheeled Br Caldwell in in a wheelchair and Someone had brought him a cane and a few other things to remind him he was getting old
lolol
We had a visiting preacher one night a woman who was very large famed came to church. We had folding chairs. Some were stronger than others. This woman sit in one of the weaker chairs. When the preacher started to give he altar call he said everyone stand. Well this woman didn't. The Spirit was convicting her and she was sitting there squirming the Preacher was talking real serious and everything was calm. All of a sudden we heard booooooom' I looked back and all I could see were this woman's legs sticking up in the air. The preacher was trying to hold it in but he was going, heehee heeee. I turn around and face the wall laughing as some ladies help her up. We all apologized after church but she said it was her fault she should of just came on down to the altar.
:o
our church has a fireworks stand every summer for July 4th and I took out a folding chair last summer at the fireworks stand, (learned not to trust the folding chairs there). I got reminded of that for about a month after that lol
I was preaching at Church here in NC. On Sunday night when church was finished I felt I had preached a pretty good message. I guess maybe I was getting a little too proud, because as I started to step down off the platform, which had about 5 or 6 steps, well I missed the first step. Know what happens when you missed the first step. Yeap I knew I was falling down the rest of them. But I had a brain storm and thought I know I will just jump. So I jump didn't do me anygood I still splatter on the carpet right at some of feet of the saints in the church. Only thing hurt was my pride.
gooden bro dad. no need in looking around to see if anybody saw it i guess. funny how ya do that, when ya fall and look to see if anyone saw ya goof. LOL
brief history: truck stops have started putting in some churches/chapels in semi trailers at truck stops. while on a break or a layover i attended one of these.
( at the time i was running team with a buddy of mine )
the preacher was heavy into his sermon though i was only half attentive because he was preaching something astray.
the preacher started asking the audience questions with vigor and enthusiasm.
all of a sudden he asked me a question, he asked me why the curtain was rent in the temple at the time of Crucifixion??
my answer was---because God took out the middle man, and we no longer needed a high priest, we could go to God directly without them.
the preacher, at the initial hearing of the answer his jaw dropped with a noticeable loss of enthusiasm. my running buddy, slapped me on the leg and said this is a catholic chapel...(ooopppsie daisy) ...well he asked!! -yo <a href="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fwww.smileycentral.com%252F%253Fpartner%253DZSzeb008%255FZKxdm021YYUS%2526i%253D4%252F4%255F12%255F4%2526feat%253Dprof/page.html" target="_blank">(http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_12_4.gif)
Quote from: Brother Dad on May 26, 2008, 05:29:30 PM
We used to have a family in our church that a a son with a mental problem among other things. He was between 450 - 500 lbs. Well one night we were having a good service and we started a victory march. I stopped in the back of the church was going to pray for the people as they passed, I noticed no one was coming past I looked up and this Guy with the mental problem was blocking the aisle and directing traffic like a cop. He was sending everyone around a different way.
That story is on this video too....its near the end.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lrfjfa3Og9I
Quote from: yosemite on May 26, 2008, 10:08:58 PM
brief history: truck stops have started putting in some churches/chapels in semi trailers at truck stops. while on a break or a layover i attended one of these.
( at the time i was running team with a buddy of mine )
the preacher was heavy into his sermon though i was only half attentive because he was preaching something astray.
the preacher started asking the audience questions with vigor and enthusiasm.
all of a sudden he asked me a question, he asked me why the curtain was rent in the temple at the time of Crucifixion??
my answer was---because God took out the middle man, and we no longer needed a high priest, we could go to God directly without them.
the preacher, at the initial hearing of the answer his jaw dropped with a noticeable loss of enthusiasm. my running buddy, slapped me on the leg and said this is a catholic chapel...(ooopppsie daisy) ...well he asked!! -yo <a href="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fwww.smileycentral.com%252F%253Fpartner%253DZSzeb008%255FZKxdm021YYUS%2526i%253D4%252F4%255F12%255F4%2526feat%253Dprof/page.html" target="_blank">(http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_12_4.gif)
BOL
Ok, I got to fess Up on this one. How is this one.
I was having some blood work done, and with being a commuter and really busy the only time I could get in and fulfill the fasting requirement for the blood tests was on a Sunday Morning before Church.
So I get to church after giving blood, and as is almost always the case on Sunday morning, I barely had time to get everything done before church, and had no time to eat after the blood giving.
So Church is going great, the spirit is moving, and I take off running the isles. When I get to the second turn, up in front of everybody, I just fall flat on my face and slide.
LOL This was in front of the whole church.
Naturally I decide... well I am going to just lay here for a bit.
LOL... moral of the story... if you get weak after giving blood... eat something... or at the least... don't run the isles. LOL
OH! Ya'll are killing me, killing me!!!! I think I have snapped a blood vessel. <a href="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fwww.smileycentral.com%252F%253Fpartner%253DZSzeb008%255FZKxdm021YYUS%2526i%253D4%252F4%255F1%255F72%2526feat%253Dprof/page.html" target="_blank">(http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_1_72.gif)
Quote from: 1legRooster on May 27, 2008, 06:53:16 AM
Ok, I got to fess Up on this one. How is this one.
I was having some blood work done, and with being a commuter and really busy the only time I could get in and fulfill the fasting requirement for the blood tests was on a Sunday Morning before Church.
So I get to church after giving blood, and as is almost always the case on Sunday morning, I barely had time to get everything done before church, and had no time to eat after the blood giving.
So Church is going great, the spirit is moving, and I take off running the isles. When I get to the second turn, up in front of everybody, I just fall flat on my face and slide.
LOL This was in front of the whole church.
Naturally I decide... well I am going to just lay here for a bit.
LOL... moral of the story... if you get weak after giving blood... eat something... or at the least... don't run the isles. LOL
Soooo? How many people thought you were in the spirit and knelt and prayed with you? :hypocrite:
Quote from: Sis on May 27, 2008, 06:22:10 PM
Quote from: 1legRooster on May 27, 2008, 06:53:16 AM
Ok, I got to fess Up on this one. How is this one.
I was having some blood work done, and with being a commuter and really busy the only time I could get in and fulfill the fasting requirement for the blood tests was on a Sunday Morning before Church.
So I get to church after giving blood, and as is almost always the case on Sunday morning, I barely had time to get everything done before church, and had no time to eat after the blood giving.
So Church is going great, the spirit is moving, and I take off running the isles. When I get to the second turn, up in front of everybody, I just fall flat on my face and slide.
LOL This was in front of the whole church.
Naturally I decide... well I am going to just lay here for a bit.
LOL... moral of the story... if you get weak after giving blood... eat something... or at the least... don't run the isles. LOL
Soooo? How many people thought you were in the spirit and knelt and prayed with you? :hypocrite:
Sadly no one came over to pray for me.... TSK TSK....
:o
*marks her place here to come back and read this thread and tell my story later*
one time I messed up and started singing the wrong song out of the songbook. Both songs I'll fly away, and Heavens jubilee, start out with Some glad morning... (i got them mixed up) the music was playing one song and I was singing another. kinda embarrassing.
Oh my Dad used to do that one all the time. He would read the words and start the wrong tune. Mom would have to get in the mic and overpower him till he figured it out.
Okay... here's MY "moment":
I was at senior youth camp during the service. If I recall correctly, we were having a shoutin' tearin' down time, and I totally got lost in worship, praise and dance.
The chairs in the tabernacle were folding metal chairs, and I soon felt myself back into one of the ones on the front row. I had a vague impression that I was falling backward. No one was there to catch me, and it felt as if I were going in totally slow motion, backwards on this metal chair onto the concrete floor. I was conscious of the fact that I had fallen, but didn't realize until later the full impact of what had happened. I was totally safe and completely unharmed. I have no idea if anyone saw me or not, but I felt a bit strange afterward realizing what had happened. Must be how a drunk person feels when they remember something that happened while they were under the influence.
Rainbow, I laughed at your post. :laughhard: :laughhard: Seems like whenever I fall backwards, everybody runs gets out of the way instead of trying to catch. lol Thank God for his Angels there to catch us. I know the slow motion feeling you are talking about. lol
Mrs. Y, I have the opposite effect on people. IT seems the smallest person in the church tends to try and catch me when I fall, then it turns to catastrophe. LOL
That sort of reminds me of a movie my mom bought and they were watching over at her house. It was called The Fighting Temptations. Beyonce Knowles & Cuba Gooding are a couple of the main actors in this movie. It is about a guy who is trying to find people for a church choir so he can enter a big choir competition, and nobody can sing.
And if you have ever been to an African American church, you would probably find this movie very funny. That movie was so funny I almost fell off the couch! One woman in the movie was laying in the isle, when 'sister better than you' with her nose in the air comes strutting up thru there to find her pew. She tripped and fell over the woman who was laying stretched out in the floor. She says, " Why couldnt you find somewhere else to get slayed in the spirt!".
I thought my mom was going to croak. We laughed at that stupid mess for a long time. It was a very funny movie to me.
:addnothing: (at this moment in time) :hypocrite:
Sam, that was my FAVORITE part of that whole movie!! Justin and I laughed so hard at that part!! Cause when they said it, she just got up. :roll: It was great!
Quote from: joyful 39 on May 28, 2008, 01:36:51 AM
one time I messed up and started singing the wrong song out of the songbook. Both songs I'll fly away, and Heavens jubilee, start out with Some glad morning... (i got them mixed up) the music was playing one song and I was singing another. kinda embarrassing.
I still do that every time I lead worship and pick one of those two songs..... :laughhard:
HA! I think everybody does that. lol Sometimes at our church, its either the song leader or one of the musicians, but SOMEBODY has got to mess up. lol :biglaugh:
this is the WEIRDEST thing ive EVER seen in my life...
(i know its fake and very charasmatic, but I have to laugh)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SgByE0pX1M&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SgByE0pX1M&feature=related)
On the other hand, its kind of sad these people believe this is the truth...
Quote from: Mrs. Yosemite on June 13, 2008, 05:40:22 AM
HA! I think everybody does that. lol Sometimes at our church, its either the song leader or one of the musicians, but SOMEBODY has got to mess up. lol :biglaugh:
The choir was singing, and the youth leader/assistant pastor was supposed to sing a solo. He messed up and he stopped everything and stepped down and said, "Ok, so I messed up. God will forgive me. It's in the book! My salvation isn't in danger, so lighten up, will ya?" then he stepped back and they started that part over. Everyone cracked up!
LOL. Good way to look at it.
A young guy was preaching at the church my friend goes to. He was taking his sermon from Acts 12 where Rhoda answered the door and saw Peter there when he was "supposed" to be in prison and instead of letting him in, she slammed the door in his face. I suppose he was going to title his sermon "Don't slam the door on Peter" but when he announce the title, he put "your" in front of "Peter". I'm sure he lost most of the audience's attention at that point. ;)
Quote from: practicalme on June 26, 2008, 07:44:09 PM
A young guy was preaching at the church my friend goes to. He was taking his sermon from Acts 12 where Rhoda answered the door and saw Peter there when he was "supposed" to be in prison and instead of letting him in, she slammed the door in his face. I suppose he was going to title his sermon "Don't slam the door on Peter" but when he announce the title, he put "your" in front of "Peter". I'm sure he lost most of the audience's attention at that point. ;)
:ignore: :uhoh:
Quote from: practicalme on June 26, 2008, 07:44:09 PM
A young guy was preaching at the church my friend goes to. He was taking his sermon from Acts 12 where Rhoda answered the door and saw Peter there when he was "supposed" to be in prison and instead of letting him in, she slammed the door in his face. I suppose he was going to title his sermon "Don't slam the door on Peter" but when he announce the title, he put "your" in front of "Peter". I'm sure he lost most of the audience's attention at that point. ;)
:rofl: Oh noooo! :rofl: Oh my! :rofl: I can't stop laughing! :rofl: I have tears in my eyes! :rofl:
:laughhard: I think I just felt some elastic pop. OH NOOO! :laughhard: :laughhard: That was funny!!
we have an evangelist visiting right now and this past tuesday before prayer meeting started he wanted to speak for a few minutes on prayer. Well, before he started, he looked back at these two ladies in my church who are sisters, and in their 40s I think, and he says, "So I have to know what you two were laughing about when I was preaching Sunday morning because it looked like pretty lively conversation and it looked funny." He wasn't being critical at all, just honestly wanted to know (we're pretty laid back here), and one of the sisters says, "I looked down at her shoes and told her they were ugly! They look like our grandma's shoes!" I about died laughing. I'd be killed if I disrupted church over someone's shoes, lol, tho I missed it Sunday morning cuz I was teaching
My pastor was talking about how in Germany you can go to jail for 5 years for homeschooling your children. Then he was talking about how our public school system starts so soon with everything. He said with all the k, and pre-k and and pre-KKK. :o. He then decided he better go back to stand behind the pulpit so he could read his notes and not get into any trouble.
HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! :laughhard: He almost got in trouble didnt he? lol
It was hilarious. The best part was afterwards at Dairy Queen a little kid repeated it. lol. So innocent!
I would have to say a few years back walking out of the restroom at church and having a trail of TP following me from the back of my pants, (that was before I quit wearing pants lol)
one time during an easter play i was doing a drama and somehow my skirt got stuck up im my undies so i was out on stage for like a song and a half like that till finally someone told me..... luckily i had a slip on but it was still embarrassing and i didnt wanna go back :P
A while back the pastor of my church was preaching, and as part of his message he was telling the story of Zacchaeus' encounter with Jesus. He was making the point that despite Zacchaeus' past misdeeds and terrible reputation, Jesus still treated him with love and respect.
He pointed out, "Jesus didn't look up into that tree and say, 'Get down here, you no-good Republican!' "
Quote from: titushome on September 03, 2008, 02:09:08 PM
A while back the pastor of my church was preaching, and as part of his message he was telling the story of Zacchaeus' encounter with Jesus. He was making the point that despite Zacchaeus' past misdeeds and terrible reputation, Jesus still treated him with love and respect.
He pointed out, "Jesus didn't look up into that tree and say, 'Get down here, you no-good Republican!' "
hahahaha it would sholl nuff be funny if he were a republican!! but i guess since you live on the left he might be a democrat. still funny though.
Quote from: yosemite on September 03, 2008, 06:29:29 PM
hahahaha it would sholl nuff be funny if he were a republican!! but i guess since you live on the left he might be a democrat. still funny though.
I believe the pastor is a Republican - he certainly is conservative. And so are most of us in the church, as far as I know.
That's what made it funny! :rofl:
Quote from: titushome on September 03, 2008, 07:19:45 PM
Quote from: yosemite on September 03, 2008, 06:29:29 PM
hahahaha it would sholl nuff be funny if he were a republican!! but i guess since you live on the left he might be a democrat. still funny though.
I believe the pastor is a Republican - he certainly is conservative. And so are most of us in the church, as far as I know.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: thats funny. sorry to have stereo tyed yall.
That's alright. ;)
We need more funny stories!
Quote from: titushome on September 03, 2008, 02:09:08 PM
A while back the pastor of my church was preaching, and as part of his message he was telling the story of Zacchaeus' encounter with Jesus. He was making the point that despite Zacchaeus' past misdeeds and terrible reputation, Jesus still treated him with love and respect.
He pointed out, "Jesus didn't look up into that tree and say, 'Get down here, you no-good Republican!' "
If you ever run for office, that statement will make headline news. lol
:lol:
Not sure if I shared this previously:
The most embarrassing/funny thing that's happened at church (a couple months ago), this lady that comes (but doesn't consider us her home church even though she lives right next door), stood up and testified one night. She testified that she was now wearing depends like her husband. She was extremely proud of this fact. It took everything the leader had that night not to lose it up on the platform. A few people had to get up and walk out before they "lost" it. Several of us had to smother our laughter.
:o
Awww! Isn't that cute?
So heres what happend to me,
I had surgery that morning and I was overly drugged and still loopy from anistishia stuff.. It was out patient surgery and I was like I want to go to church..
So I did... Slept through most of the service.. confessed tot he pastor after words that I slept through the service.. tried to walk around and passed out in an old mans arms.. then they made me sit and all I wanted was my coat and all these people were like hovering over me.. I still can't live it down.. That I fell in an old mans arms...
And then another thing that happend.. my pastors wife is my best friend she took me in and took care of me cuz my parents couldant, so One day I was at church and She Got out of the bathroom and her skirt was tucked into her nylons, and I was like OMG, she was talking to people, being a good pastors wife,. and I gave her a backwards hug to cover her up. so none of the guys would see her, and I was like fix ur skirt.. and she just about died.. i'm not allowed to talk about it.. but I just did.. I love my pastors wife.