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Infidelity a Bonus in a Marriage? (Sen. Ensign)

Started by Newsman, June 17, 2009, 02:55:23 AM

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Newsman

Never been married. Don't know all the temptations there.

The female staffer and her husband were friends with the Ensigns. Now, neither friend works for Ensign any longer, and Sen. Ensign's wife sayes their marriage is "stronger"

Unless she means 'stronger than when he committed the eight-month long affair" then her statement seems little more than political scammery worthy of nothing but scorn and contempt.

And, he apparently wanted Sen. Craig out for the foot-tapping sex sting cntroversy that politician got into (see story below.)

Sen. Ensign has been mentioned as a potential Republican Presidential hopeful. I would vote for President Obama for reelection, before I'd vote for Sen. Ensign.


John
---------------------
Sen. Ensign admits affair with ex-campaign staffer
By KEVIN FREKING and KATHLEEN HENNESSEY, Associated Press Writer Kevin Freking And Kathleen Hennessey, Associated Press Writer 51 mins ago
LAS VEGAS – Republican Sen. John Ensign of Nevada, a leading conservative mentioned as a potential presidential candidate, admitted Tuesday he had an extramarital affair with a woman who was a member of his campaign staff. "Last year I had an affair. I violated the vows of my marriage," Ensign said at a brief news conference. "It is the worst thing I have ever done in my life. If there was ever anything in my life that I could take back, this would be it."

Ensign spokesman Tory Mazzola said the affair took place between December 2007 and August 2008 with a campaign staffer who was married to an employee in Ensign's Senate office. Neither has worked for the senator since May 2008.

Ensign, 51, said he would not mention the name of the campaign aide involved in the affair. He described the woman and her husband as good friends.

"Our families were close," a weary-looking Ensign said. "That closeness put me into situations which led to my inappropriate behavior. We caused deep pain to both families and for that I am sorry."

Ensign made it clear he did not plan to resign. Ensign did not participate earlier Tuesday in a Senate vote concerning the ailing travel industry, an unusual absence considering the topic's relevance in his home state.

It was unclear why Ensign decided to disclose the affair Tuesday. He took no questions from reporters at the news conference.

Ensign's wife, Darlene, also released a statement about the affair.

"Since we found out last year we have worked through the situation and we have come to a reconciliation. This has been difficult on both families. With the help of our family and close friends our marriage has become stronger," Mrs. Ensign said.

The Ensigns have three children.

Ensign was first elected to the Senate in 2000 and quickly rose through the GOP ranks. He chaired the GOP's Senate campaign operation in 2007 and 2008, and last year was named chairman of the Republican Policy Committee, the No. 4 position in the party's Senate leadership. The committee coordinates the GOP's legislative efforts in the Senate.

Last month, Ensign traveled to Iowa for a speech organized by a conservative advocacy group, sparking speculation that he had an interest in possibly running for president. Aides said the visit was about staking out a leadership position within the GOP.

Ensign has been a rising star among conservatives, speaking out against President Barack Obama's stimulus package, statehood for the District of Columbia and union-organizing legislation and in favor of gun owners' rights. Ensign has been a member of the men's group the Promise Keepers, a Christian ministry.

He had been highly critical of former Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho, who served in Congress for a quarter-century when he was arrested in an airport bathroom sex sting. Ensign stopped short of urging him to resign but suggested strongly that he should.

"I wouldn't put myself hopefully in that kind of position, but if I was in a position like that, that's what I would do," Ensign said. "He's going to have to answer that for himself." In the end, Craig served out his term.

Ensign is the latest member of Congress who has acknowledged infidelity. Sen. David Vitter, R-La., is rebounding from being linked with a prostitute.

Over the years, Ensign and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., have worked closely on issues affecting Nevada and have an agreement not to criticize the other publicly.

"Sen. Reid's thoughts are with Sen. Ensign and his family at this time," Reid spokesman Jon Summers.

Republicans lost eight seats last November under Ensign's campaign leadership, with one race, in Minnesota, still undecided. The losses put Democrats within one seat of having a 60-40 majority, enough to prevent the GOP from blocking bills and appointments if all of them vote together.

Ensign is a veterinarian and adopted son of a Nevada casino mogul. He clearly was the most influential Republican in his state as the governor, Jim Gibbons, struggled with a horrendous economy and accusations of infidelity as well.

___

Freking reported from Washington.


Newsman

Additional Details, maybe other couple not so nice, after all.


John  :waving:
--------------------
Ensign admits affair; sources say blackmail involved
Manu Raju, Alexander Burns Manu Raju, Alexander Burns Tue Jun 16, 6:47 pm ET
Sen. John Ensign (R-Nev.) acknowledged Tuesday that he had "violated the vows" of marriage by having an affair with a campaign staffer.

The admission — made in a televised appearance in Las Vegas — shocked Ensign's Senate colleagues and delivered a serious blow to any hopes he might have had of seeking the GOP presidential nomination in 2012.

Political insiders in the Senate and in Nevada told POLITICO that Ensign began the affair with the staffer several months after he separated from his wife, Darlene. When Ensign reconciled with his wife, the sources said, he gave the aide a severance package, and the two parted ways.

Some time later, a Nevada source said, Ensign met with the husband of the woman involved and had what this source described as a positive encounter. Sources said that the man subsequently asked Ensign for a substantial sum of money — at which point Ensign decided to make the affair public.

Ensign did not provide specifics about the affair Tuesday, nor did he identify the woman involved, except to say that she and her husband "were close friends, and both of them worked for me."

"Last year, I had an affair," Ensign said. "I violated the vows of my marriage. It is the worst thing I have ever done in my life. If there was ever anything in my life that I could take back, this would be it. I take full responsibility for my actions."

Ensign said he deeply regretted the affair — and that he remains committed to his Senate duties.

//
In a statement to the Las Vegas Sun, Darlene Ensign said: "Since we found out last year, we have worked through the situation, and we have come to a reconciliation. This has been difficult on both families. With the help of our family and close friends, our marriage has become stronger."

Ensign informed fellow Nevadan Harry Reid, the Senate majority leader, about his situation prior to making his public announcement.

"I don't know the details. I talked with him today," Reid told POLITICO Tuesday afternoon. "Of course, he's my friend. This is a private, family matter. I just hope that Darlene and he work things out."

Reid said he didn't offer any advice on how to handle the situation. "I didn't give him any advice," he said. "I just told him he's my friend. I'm pulling for him. Anything I can do to help, let me know."

Ensign is chairman of the GOP Policy Committee, making him the highest-ranking Republican senator in Nevada's history.

Ensign was absent from Capitol Hill on Tuesday, skipping the weekly lunch that his committee hosts for GOP senators and its ensuing news conference, where party leaders espouse their weekly message.

His announcement stunned colleagues, who were preparing for this summer's big battles over the Supreme Court nomination of Sonia Sotomayor and health care reform but now have to contend with a drama hovering over one of their leaders.

Elected in 2000, the 51-year-old Ensign has moved up the leadership chain in the Senate. As chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee in 2008, Ensign oversaw the devastating losses by GOP candidates. But his party largely spared him of blame, casting it instead on an unpopular president who dragged down the party's brand. Since then, Ensign has sought to articulate conservative principles and is a mainstay at GOP news conferences deriding Democrats' domestic policies.

Ensign ran for the Senate in 1998 against Reid in a nasty cliffhanger race that Reid won by a razor-thin 428 votes. Reid and Ensign have since reached a détente; neither man criticizes the other by name back home.

A staunch fiscal and social conservative, Ensign has been considered a rising star in his party, recently making headlines by speaking at events in Iowa, raising speculation about his interest in a run for the GOP presidential nomination in 2012.

A born-again Christian, Ensign has been a member of the Promise Keepers, a male evangelical group that promotes marital fidelity.

When former Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) was arrested in an airport men's room in the summer of 2007, Ensign was among Craig's toughest critics, saying Craig should step down because he had been charged with a crime.

"I wouldn't put myself, hopefully, in that kind of position, but if I was in a position like that, that's what I would do," Ensign told The Associated Press at the time.

During the 1998 impeachment of President Bill Clinton, Ensign, then a Senate candidate, called on Clinton to resign.

John Bresnahan contributed to this story.


bishopnl

It's probably too much to ask politicians to resign when they are caught in immoral or unethical acts...they are a corrupt group to start with.

But as a self proclaimed Christian, Ensign should resign.  that's my 2 cents.
~Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.~
- Mark Twain, a Biography

~There are more instances of the abridgment of the freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power than by violent and sudden usurpations.~

- James Madison, speech to the Virginia Ratifying Convention, June 16, 1788

World Traveler

#3
I can't see how infidelity would make a marriage stronger. I am of the mind (although not in the position) that if I was married and my wife cheated, I would end the relationship.
I would expect the same thing of my wife if I cheated.
I think the same analogy should be applied if I was in a position of trust, such as an elected office. I would need to resign. If the infidelity was never made public, there is still the problem of those who are in the know having power over you, something to hang over your head so to speak. If it is public knowledge, then there is always the power of doubt. People you work with, people you work for, etc wondering what else you have been doing to compromise your relationship with them.
There is no statute of limitations on murder or bad first impressions.

I am enjoying my second childhood.
It is a lot of fun.
I have money this time!!

Marry, divorce, marry someone new, divorce, marry again, divorce, marry again... Polygamy on the installment plan.

Melody

I don't think we're dealing with strong spined moral folks here.  So, for her to say it made their marriage stronger is as John said, for politics, or they had issues that his affair caused them to look seriously at and work on afterwards.  Of course it would be horrible but Jesus showed us that more forgiveness can cause greater love and appreciation.  He also said divorce was permitted not because of infidelity but for "hardness" or unforgiveness.  If going through hard times brings folks closer, I can see how she could say that, if it's genuine.

It's so hard with leaders.  We're not close enough to their lives to know whether there is real repentence and change until it plays out.  Sometimes you can tell and they need outed, other times we have to give them a change.  I have no idea about this case cause I haven't followed any history but I probably wouldn't trust a politician with much anyway.

Gingerale

my hubby cheated on me a month and a half after we were married. since working through that, and with the help of God, our marriage is stronger that our 4 year relationship has ever been.  *shrugs* it takes a really sincere heart, and a forgiving heart on the other side, to be able to work through such conditions.

Sis

Some people can work through that. Especially if they have God in their lives.

But I wouldn't suggest someone go out and cheat in order to try to make a marriage stronger. *Shakes head*

If two people want to work through problems before either of them cheats, go to a counselor.  They will have one less thing to work through.


Chérie

#7
I don't understand how some men or women put up with that sort of mental/emotional abuse. (because that's what it is) For better or worse, does not include breaking vows. Thankfully I'm in a stable relationship with someone who is just as baffled by that type of behavior as me. I have trust issues anyway. If Travis ever cheated on me, I'd forgive him, but I wouldn't nor couldn't stay with him - it would totally destroy my psyche and sense of self worth.

I understand why some people would want to work thru their problems, I just couldn't stomach it. I'd forever be wondering why he came home late or if he was where he said he was - that's not really fair to the truly repentant.
religion, tv, and media have powerful effects on the way people see the world. - maynard james keenan

Amelia Bedelia

Quote from: MellowYellow on June 17, 2009, 03:43:40 PM
or they had issues that his affair caused them to look seriously at and work on afterwards. 
I think you've probably hit the nail on the head here
From what I've heard of marriages that have survived affairs, the affair was the long overdue wake up call from problems that had been ignored too long.  If they decided to both recognize their failures in the marriage and work through it then I could totally see how it would be stronger - but it still would have been better to notice the warning signs and do repair and maintenance work along the way rather than an entire re-build after the catastrophe

I plan on "affair-proofing" my marriage to the best of my abilities if I ever get married and work towards never letting my marriage get so out of control that it would open the door to that... but if it ever did happen it wouldn't be an automatic out - depending on the circumstances I'd try to work through it

Sis

I agree with Dani. I'm surprised some people CAN work through things.

There is another side of the "problems" coin. There are guys who cheat whether there ARE problems or not. It's just their self-centered thinking. The woman can be sitting there thiking everything is fine and he's out cheating. It's true that this kind of thing is abuse. it may not be any problem in THEIR marriage, it could be a problem in HIS makeup. I'm not saying in every case, I'm saying sometimes. 


Amelia Bedelia

and I would say those are the ones you don't work through cause you can't.  but I think there are more work-through-able situations than people want to realize and its out of hardness, pride and unforgiveness that they don't work through it and why God gave the out that he did.  but I hope for me I would never be that hard and unforgiving and for me an affair wouldn't be an auto out, it would depend entirely on all surrounding  circumstances

Chérie

Men who habitually cheat are the stuff Scott Peterson and Chris Coleman are made of. Not that all men who have affairs are murderers, but if you can cheat on your wife and keep it a secret, you are pretty much capable of anything.

I hate hearing the "I didn't mean to" excuse. What? How can you not mean to do something like that? There are no "accidents" in adultery.

religion, tv, and media have powerful effects on the way people see the world. - maynard james keenan

Sis

Quote from: Amelia Bedelia on June 20, 2009, 06:20:13 PM
and I would say those are the ones you don't work through cause you can't.  but I think there are more work-through-able situations than people want to realize and its out of hardness, pride and unforgiveness that they don't work through it and why God gave the out that he did.  but I hope for me I would never be that hard and unforgiving and for me an affair wouldn't be an auto out, it would depend entirely on all surrounding  circumstances

Agree 100%


The Purple Fuzzy

:offtopic:  I just want to comment that the misspelling in the title line of this thread drives me nuts.

Sis



Newsman

 :hi:

Quote from: The Purple Fuzzy on June 20, 2009, 08:33:14 PM
:offtopic:  I just want to comment that the misspelling in the title line of this thread drives me nuts.

The Purple Fuzzy


Newsman

You are welcome... although, as much as I like to be a pest....


John  :waving:

Melody

is the word "infidel" that muslims use toward none muslims related to infidelity then or am I mixing up words?