News:

:teeth: To crack the Top 10 posters, you must have over 11,000 posts. :teeth:

Main Menu

what are some of the funniest FB statuses you have seen?

Started by Babs, June 11, 2010, 07:00:51 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

SippinTea

QuoteDan ***** ‎....Saved a bunch of money on my Mental Insurance by switching to Psycho!

:beret:
"Not everything that is of God is easy." -Elona

"When you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything." -F. Chan

"A real live hug anytime you want it is priceless." -Rachel

MelodyB

Have you slapped that one dude from Indiana with a pie in the face today?
 

Tricia Lea

Here were 2 statuses that made me laugh being one after the other on my news feed board lol

Seth ~~~~ Referring to the sweat that this weather brings on: "yeah, but it's better for you than it staying in...

it's like your skin is peeing and getting rid of all the toxins in your body..." ~ Nurse Chel ~~~~

~~~Then this was next~~~~

Elona ~~~~~ is enjoying the coolness of this August day. No idea what the temp is, but the breeze from the window is GORGEOUS! Inspires spring cleaning!

SippinTea

Katie **** - So, I'm baking chocolate chip cookies while Jeff and the kids play in the living room. Benjamin was pretending to be a tow truck driver, but that the tow hook part of the truck was broken. So, he drove it to the "shop" and announced "I need a new hooker!"

:laughhard:

"Not everything that is of God is easy." -Elona

"When you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything." -F. Chan

"A real live hug anytime you want it is priceless." -Rachel

Tricia Lea

David ------‎"The new airport security motto: 'Can't see London, can't see France, until we see your underpants.' " :)

MsJennJenn

BAHAHA I so should not have come into this thread I'm dying laughing!

These are all from my friend Tyson he's hysterical!

Tyson -  Monday just gave me a wedgie and took my lunch money.

Tyson - Women here's hint #5. When trying to make light of a bad spousal day your husband is joking. He is not bright enough to realize you'd check his facebook. Slap him and move on.

Tyson- Women heres man hint #4. We will act 10 years old when we teach our sons to *I like to use words that offend people. I don't think it's wrong, and I don't care if it offends people* on each other. However we did not tell them to do it to mom. That's on them, not us.

Tyson - Women here's man hint #3. When we are being silent we are not trying to hack you off. We are scared, and don't want to repeat the initial thing that made you mad.

Tyson - Women man hint #2. We ask "what did I do?" you respond " you know". We don't really know I promise. See man hint #1.

Tyson - Women here's man hint #1. We can't read your minds. We can barely string together a coherent thought ourselves, much less know yours. Learn this.
 "When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower."
-Alexander Den Heijer-
"When I wait, you strengthen my heart."
-Psalms 27:14-
:shine:

upcchris

 :rotfl: :spitlaugh: :uhoh: :rofl: :laughhard:

Oh my word, these are hilarious! I may use some of these later.
Television is proof the people will look at anything rather than eachother

Life would be so much easier without hormones

Of all God's creations, humans are the only ones with enough imagination to be bored

Humans are fallible, and they unreasonably expect everyone else not to be

Tina~Chris

(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude

Quote from: MsJennJenn on November 29, 2010, 05:33:52 PM
BAHAHA I so should not have come into this thread I'm dying laughing!

These are all from my friend Tyson he's hysterical!

Tyson - Women here's man hint #3. When we are being silent we are not trying to hack you off. We are scared, and don't want to repeat the initial thing that made you mad.

Tyson - Women man hint #2. We ask "what did I do?" you respond " you know". We don't really know I promise. See man hint #1.

Tyson - Women here's man hint #1. We can't read your minds. We can barely string together a coherent thought ourselves, much less know yours. Learn this.

I might borrow them as well... might garner some interesting comments! LOL... but I will credit Tyson... lol  :)   

These 3 are awesome! LOL!


Feed The Bachelors 2010

Sis

Tyson must not be married, or married to the wrong person. He doesn't know women very well. Some may act that way, but I don't know any who do.


MsJennJenn

Quote from: Sis on November 30, 2010, 10:22:15 AM
Tyson must not be married, or married to the wrong person. He doesn't know women very well. Some may act that way, but I don't know any who do.

No he is married - thus the reason for #5....lol his wife got on his FB and read his postings...LOL
It's all good now - he is right on some account though.
 "When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower."
-Alexander Den Heijer-
"When I wait, you strengthen my heart."
-Psalms 27:14-
:shine:

Chseeads

I had never looked at this thread before.....

I'm famous.  :freaky2:

Sis



Chseeads

Joshua, playing w/ Jordan: "I circumcised the demon." Jordan: "WHAT???" Joshua: "You know, cast it out." Jordan: "You mean exorcised, doof."
----------


(Joshua and Jordan are his two sons.)

(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude

Quote from: Chseeads on December 10, 2010, 06:48:27 PM
Joshua, playing w/ Jordan: "I circumcised the demon." Jordan: "WHAT???" Joshua: "You know, cast it out." Jordan: "You mean exorcised, doof."
----------


(Joshua and Jordan are his two sons.)

:laughhard: :laughhard: :laughhard:


Feed The Bachelors 2010

The Purple Fuzzy

Quote from: Chseeads on December 10, 2010, 06:48:27 PM
Joshua, playing w/ Jordan: "I circumcised the demon." Jordan: "WHAT???" Joshua: "You know, cast it out." Jordan: "You mean exorcised, doof."
----------
(Joshua and Jordan are his two sons.)
:laughat:

Tricia Lea

Thomas __________ I had an omelet for supper last night and then dreamt that I was served steamed baby chicks and ducklings at a fancy Chinese restaurant.

Chseeads

Quote from: Tricia Lea on December 16, 2010, 05:12:20 AM
Thomas __________ I had an omelet for supper last night and then dreamt that I was served steamed baby chicks and ducklings at a fancy Chinese restaurant.

lol


MsJennJenn

Again from my friend Tyson:

"Monday just tried to tattle on me to Santa. Monday it's on like Donkey Kong."
 "When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower."
-Alexander Den Heijer-
"When I wait, you strengthen my heart."
-Psalms 27:14-
:shine:

MsJennJenn

from my friend Jerry:

Just saw a girl in a plain push wheelchair holding on to her guy's motorized wheelchair and rolling behind him. Dude, she's using you. --- Anonymous
 "When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower."
-Alexander Den Heijer-
"When I wait, you strengthen my heart."
-Psalms 27:14-
:shine:

Tricia Lea

Wicky------- Tommy has a terrible cough! I just gave him 2 ounces of dark chocolate, hot herbal tea with honey, and now I'm about to put vicks vapor rub on his feet with socks and put him to bed. If that doesn't stop the cough tonight, I'll try exlax. He won't cough for a million dollars!

MelodyB

This was AMAZING! LOVED it!

QuoteTiffany **** If I lived in the snow.... I'd carry an ice cream scoop....hello?! Instant snowball!
Have you slapped that one dude from Indiana with a pie in the face today?
 

Melody

Family from NM: One of these days I am going to slam on my brakes and some unfortunate tailgater is going to run into the back of my car.


Friend from KC: If you ever fund yourself frustrated or annoyed because you have 10 cars tailgating you, do us all a favor. Cut up your license, sell your car, and call a taxi.


Lynx

Ever do a reverse pass?  Something I only do if someone is riding my tail really close. Get in the passing lane, hit the brakes and let him go past.  He's in front so he's happy, I don't have anyone on my bumper so I'm happy.
"Do you sing at church?"
"Yes I sing at church, I sing at home, at work, in the car, at the supermarket, at Wal-Mart..."
:sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing:

Tricia Lea

I am not forgetful~ I just need to defrag my brain and free up space for new information!

MsJennJenn

From my friend Jerry this morning:

is proud somebody actually complimented him on his driving abilities today. They left a little note on the windshield, it said 'Parking Fine'
 "When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower."
-Alexander Den Heijer-
"When I wait, you strengthen my heart."
-Psalms 27:14-
:shine: