Ok, Who's Got The Best Blonde Jokes? Hit Me With Your Best Shot.

[Mrs. Yosemite]

Everywhere I go, people (total strangers) walk up to me and share blonde jokes. Do I have Blonde Jokes written on my forehead? Well, Let me see if ya'll can come up with something I havent already heard. lol

[Sis]

The last time I told a blond joke, I got put down. No more for me.

But let me say this, the blond jokes are for proxy locks and not natural blonds. The women/men who bleach their hair let some of the bleach get down into their hair folicles and it affects the brain. Natural blonds don't have that trouble.

[Mrs. Yosemite]

So youre saying that our brain was already effected and it didnt need the bleach?? lol  I went to a fellowship meeting at another church two weeks ago. After church a whole bunch of them wanted to meet up at a restaurant so we went.

Over at another table, one of the young ladies in the group started to tell a  blonde joke. I saw an older sis elbow her and said in a whisper, "SHHH that woman's got blonde hair! "  I said, OH go  ahead. Im used to it.
So the girl went on and told her blonde joke.

But I didnt get it. 

[Sis]

So youre saying that our brain was already effected and it didnt need the bleach?? lol  I went to a fellowship meeting at another church two weeks ago. After church a whole bunch of them wanted to meet up at a restaurant so we went.

Naaaaa!  Saying that ONLY proxy locks are affected. The natural blonds are kinda normal.

[Ashlee]

Sis, what's "normal"? 

[Sis]

If you do what everyone else is doing, and what's acceptable for the society you live in, you're normal, or you're hiding your real self.

[Mrs. Yosemite]

Do you know why most blonde jokes are one liners?   So men can understand them.   

[mini]

Logically, with that statement, we must therefore conclude that no blonde joke can be understood by a woman.

:grin:

[Mrs. Yosemite]

Thats cause most cant remember the joke anyway, so when they try to tell it, NOBODY gets it!   

GIT IT???

[Tricia Lea]

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.

Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch with $600, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word.' Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'

The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big. She'll read it very slowly.... 'com-for-da-bul.'

[Tricia Lea]

A blond walks into a Doctors office and tells him, " I hurt everywhere doc".

He says "where exactly?"

She says " everywhere! watch!"
She touches her face and says "oww!"
Then touches her foot and says "oww!"
Then touches her arm and says "oww!"

So he examines her and says "You have a broken finger".

[Tricia Lea]

Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes,
charter
a double-Decker bus for a weekend trip to Louisiana. The Brunette
team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Blonde team rode on the top
level.

The Brunette team down below really whooped it up, having a great
time, when one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the
Blondes upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate.

When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the Blondes in fear,
staring straight ahead at the road, clutching the seats in front of
them
with white knuckles. the brunette asked, "What the world's going on up
here?
We're having a great time downstairs!"

One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered...
"YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!?!"

[Tricia Lea]

How do you keep a blonde busy?
Give her a bag of M&M's and tell her to sort them alphabetically.

How do you kill a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

What is the definition of Mass Confusion?
4 blondes at a 4-way STOP sign.










ok I better quit whileI am ahead lol

[Tricia Lea]

OK one more for all you starbucks fans lol


Blonde at Starbucks....


A blonde goes into a coffee shop and notices there's

A "peel and win" sticker on her coffee cup.



So she peels it off and starts screaming,

"I've won a motorhome!

I've won a motorhome!"



The waitress says, "That's impossible.

The biggest prize is a free Lunch.?"



But the blonde keeps on screaming,

"I've won a motorhome!

I've won a motorhome!"



Finally, the manager comes over and says,

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken.

You couldn't have possibly won a motorhome

Because we didn't have that as a prize.



The blonde says, "No, it's not a mistake.

I've won a motorhome!"



And she hands the ticket to the

Manager and HE reads...


"W I N A B A G E L"

[Mrs. Yosemite]

Ha! Tricia I havent heard some of those. Those are pretty good. Sorry it took me so long to get back online. When we finally get back home, ya'll know who hAWGS the computer. I dont get to say anything much on here unless I catch him asleep. Gonna have to put some more sleeping pills in the mountain dew around here! 

[Sis]

Well, if it's real mountain dew, you won't need the sleeping pills!   

[Scott]

There is no such thing as a blond joke!

You see, they are all true stories!

[yosemite]

hahahahahahaLOL

[upcchris]

I know a few

A blonde was low on cash, so she decided to kidnap a child and hold it ransom, so she went to the park, grabbed a kid and wrote the ransom note, the note read: if you ever want to see your son again, put ten thousand dollars in a duffel bag and stuff in in the hollow of the oak tree at the park by tomorrow morning. signed, The Blonde Menace. But she didn't know where the kid lived, so she gave the note to the kid and told him to go home and to give it to his mum. The kid went home. THe blonde went to the oak tree the next morning anf found a duffel bag with ten thousand dollars in it and a note on top, the note read: How dare you ask ransom from another blonde!


A blonde, a brunette and a redhead found a magic mirror, the mirror told them, tell me something true and I'll grant one wish, but if you lie, I'll swallow you up.
The redhead went first and said, I think one of the other girls is prettier than me, the mirror said that was true so it granted her wish of a all-expense paid trip to the Bahamas.
The brunette went next and said, I think both the other girls are prettier than me, the mirror said that was true, so it granted her wish for a new, fully furished, paid off house.
On seeing the results for the other two, the blonde went up to the mirror and said I think, but before she could say any more the mirror swallowed her up

A blonde wearing earphones went to a hairdresser to get a hair cut and told the haridresser to cut around the earphones. The hairdresser did so and the blonde went her way after the haircut, a month later the same blonde came back and said the same thing, for the hairdresser to cut around the earphones, again the hairresser did and the blonde went her way after the haircut, a month afterwards the blonde came back and told the haridresser again to cut arounf the earphones, curious, the hairdresser took off the earphones and the blonde toppled over, dead. The ambulance and police came, the hairdresser explained what had happened, the police picked up the earphones and listened, it said breathe in, breathe out over and over

[rootbeer]

There was a tour bus going through Arizona and it went by a crater where a meteor had hit the earth.  The bus driver was telling the passengers all about the crater and how big a hole it had made, and a blonde on the bus said, "It almost hit the highway."

[Mrs. Yosemite]

HUH? I didn't "git it". <a href="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fwww.smileycentral.com%252F%253Fpartner%253DZSzeb008%255FZKxdm021YYUS%2526i%253D4%252F4%255F12%255F4%2526feat%253Dprof/page.html" target="_blank">

[MelodyB]

I dont either, and I am not a blonde.

[Ashlee]

I got it.  It was a more complicated joke.  Apparently, the joke of it is that they created the road there for easier access to the crater later on, and she thought the road was already there.  At least, that's from my perspective.  I just didn't think it was that funny

[mesipie]

lol

those r cute

i like the *i think* one

[The Purple Fuzzy]

Another Blonde Joke

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and
was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her
purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

'What does it look like?' she finally asked

The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on it..'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and
handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, OK, you
can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.'