Overeacting, Motherly, What am I ?

[EmmazMommy]

Ok, as all of you know I have always had issues with Ryans Sis and her husband. From the way they treat their kids, to the way they scream fighting in restaurants, alot of stuff.

Well their daughter, Bre is 22 months. Evertime we go around Bre hits, pinches, etc. Emma. So this week while we were decorating, rehearsing, etc for MILs wedding it started again. Bre pinched her, slapped her, pushed her down the steps to the platform, a buncha stuff. well to keep peace
( like I always have to do) I made Emma stay by me. She sat where I was working and played with HER OWN toys. Well then Bre comes over and starts pinching Emma taking her toys. So we moved. THEN, a little later Emma was walking playing with HER TOYS and Bre walks over, jerks away emmas toy and shoves her, well my BIL (bre's dad) just sits and watches it. So my other SIL, alyssa, makes the statement/question " why is bre always pushing n pinching emma" and BIL ( bres dad, Bryan) replies " bc Emma is mean, bullies bre around and she has to FIGHT BACK !!! " so alyssa replies " i have NEVER seen Emma touch Bre" and Bryan just gets mad.Excuse me, he watched what she did and wouldnt say anything. They NEVER get on to Bre, Emma gets spanked for pinching, hitting, etc...even if shes doing it bc it was done to her first. Emma knows better.
I spanked her this weekend even if she was hit first. I keep a "hawks eye" on Emma when we are around them. I make sure she doesnt touch Bre in any way, bc if she hugs her, Bre starts screaming and they get mad at Emma. Bc Bre is PERFECT! I get soooo tired of spanking emma for fighting back and takin up for herself. and then Bre can do whatever and not get in trouble bc "Emmas a stupid little whiny brat" ( so they say)!

Emmas not perfect, I know that! She gets spankings for doing stuff wrong! But it woudl be different if we had this problem with other kids, but we dont. She gets along fine with other kids! Bre is the only one its like this with! She plays great around other kids!! shes with church kids, friends kids, etc...allllll the time and we dont have a problem!!! Emma cries when she sees Bre bc she is afraid of her. Doesnt that say SOMETHING???

Emma was walking with MIL and Bre started screaming and pinching to the point I just took Emma away from MIL bc Bre was pitching such a fit bc MIL was paying attention to Emma. I know thats jealousy but still uncalled for!! Tisha (bres mom) throws a fit when MIL pays any attention to Emma! Its like Emmas not good enough!! MIL just ignores her and plays with Emma anyway, but Im tired of it!

Then after the wedding, a lady from their church asks if we are planning on more kids and we told her the way things are with Ryans health probably not. Then Tisha (ryans sis, bre's mom ) tells the lady (who me n ryan dont even know!) " after their first, who would even want another kid, shes nothing but a  whiny stinking brat!!)" then goes on to say " where is that little brat anyway? " !!!! I was ticked beyond everthing and Ryan just walked off, We didnt want to ruin MILS wedding day !

Am I overreacting by being upset. I kept my mouth shut, didnt say a word, but it makes me mad!!
Im just tired of her being called bratty, a stupid brat, a stupid whinybag, etc.... and im tired of having to spank her for takin up for herself!!!

I mean Bre is almost 9 months OLDER, shouldnt BRE be the one who gets in trouble? Especially, since shes the one pinching, shoving, etc?

Well, after the weekend Emma has 2 bruises on her face from Bre shoving her down the steps to the platform , I am  beyond upset and I dont know what to do!

[randerzforya]

You are definitely NOT overreacting!

You have a right to want to protect your baby, and Emma should not have to be beaten up just because it's family. My suggestion would be to get your husband to sit down with his sister and have a serious talk with her. I know sometimes it just doesn't sink in or go down well when the person telling you that your kid is being mean isn't family. But I definitely wouldn't just let this go, especially if it's happening all the time. Emma shouldn't have to be scared to play with her own toys when Bre is there. That's not fair to her to be punished for another child's misbehavior. I will really be praying for you guys that the situation can be resolved in a nice way, I know these things can be tough to handle...especially since it sounds like your SIL is bitter about Emma for whatever reason. And I also think the way Bre is acting is a reflection of her mother's attitude, kids pick up on those things. So maybe once the SIL gets her act together Bre will start playing nicely with Emma.

You've done amazing not to just blow up at them, I think I would have reached my boiling point by now. Good luck, and I wish I could have been more help!

[LarryTheCucumber]

Ok, as all of you know I have always had issues with Ryans Sis and her husband. From the way they treat their kids, to the way they scream fighting in restaurants, alot of stuff.

Well their daughter, Bre is 22 months. Evertime we go around Bre hits, pinches, etc. Emma. So this week while we were decorating, rehearsing, etc for MILs wedding it started again. Bre pinched her, slapped her, pushed her down the steps to the platform, a buncha stuff. well to keep peace
( like I always have to do) I made Emma stay by me. She sat where I was working and played with HER OWN toys. Well then Bre comes over and starts pinching Emma taking her toys. So we moved. THEN, a little later Emma was walking playing with HER TOYS and Bre walks over, jerks away emmas toy and shoves her, well my BIL (bre's dad) just sits and watches it. So my other SIL, alyssa, makes the statement/question " why is bre always pushing n pinching emma" and BIL ( bres dad, Bryan) replies " bc Emma is mean, bullies bre around and she has to FIGHT BACK !!! " so alyssa replies " i have NEVER seen Emma touch Bre" and Bryan just gets mad.Excuse me, he watched what she did and wouldnt say anything. They NEVER get on to Bre, Emma gets spanked for pinching, hitting, etc...even if shes doing it bc it was done to her first. Emma knows better.
I spanked her this weekend even if she was hit first. I keep a "hawks eye" on Emma when we are around them. I make sure she doesnt touch Bre in any way, bc if she hugs her, Bre starts screaming and they get mad at Emma. Bc Bre is PERFECT! I get soooo tired of spanking emma for fighting back and takin up for herself. and then Bre can do whatever and not get in trouble bc "Emmas a stupid little whiny brat" ( so they say)!

Emmas not perfect, I know that! She gets spankings for doing stuff wrong! But it woudl be different if we had this problem with other kids, but we dont. She gets along fine with other kids! Bre is the only one its like this with! She plays great around other kids!! shes with church kids, friends kids, etc...allllll the time and we dont have a problem!!! Emma cries when she sees Bre bc she is afraid of her. Doesnt that say SOMETHING???

Emma was walking with MIL and Bre started screaming and pinching to the point I just took Emma away from MIL bc Bre was pitching such a fit bc MIL was paying attention to Emma. I know thats jealousy but still uncalled for!! Tisha (bres mom) throws a fit when MIL pays any attention to Emma! Its like Emmas not good enough!! MIL just ignores her and plays with Emma anyway, but Im tired of it!

Then after the wedding, a lady from their church asks if we are planning on more kids and we told her the way things are with Ryans health probably not. Then Tisha (ryans sis, bre's mom ) tells the lady (who me n ryan dont even know!) " after their first, who would even want another kid, shes nothing but a  whiny stinking brat!!)" then goes on to say " where is that little brat anyway? " !!!! I was ticked beyond everthing and Ryan just walked off, We didnt want to ruin MILS wedding day !

Am I overreacting by being upset. I kept my mouth shut, didnt say a word, but it makes me mad!!
Im just tired of her being called bratty, a stupid brat, a stupid whinybag, etc.... and im tired of having to spank her for takin up for herself!!!

I mean Bre is almost 9 months OLDER, shouldnt BRE be the one who gets in trouble? Especially, since shes the one pinching, shoving, etc?

Well, after the weekend Emma has 2 bruises on her face from Bre shoving her down the steps to the platform , I am  beyond upset and I dont know what to do!

I'm not a parent, but I'll post my two cents anyway...

there's NO reason why you or your daughter should have to put up with physical or verbal abuse from another member of the family--and it doesn't matter what family member it is.

Deal with the fighting between the kids however you feel is best, but I'd strongly encourage you not to allow your daughter to be verbally abused by these people.  It seems to me that the verbal abuse could be far more damaging to her in the long run than getting pushed down the stairs and getting bruised a few times.

[Sister_Mom]

You're definitely not overreacting. If anything, you're using a tremendous amount of self control. You might want to see what can be done about keeping Emma away from this family, at least from the parents. Kids can be affected more than we realize by other people's words. Sounds like you are raising Emma to be a peace keeper. That's awesome.  My sister and I had sons 7 months apart. I was often ridiculed for overly disciplining my son, not allowing him to do many things. My sister's son could do no wrong, but my son did everything wrong and things were often said about him that no adult should be saying about a child, in the presence of that child. I ignored it when my sister allowed her son to do things that I wouldn't allow my son to do, and when she couldn't say no - but I was accused of saying no too often, or when my sister would spend money she didn't have to buy her son the "finer things in life" - expensive clothes, toys, backpacks, etc. I felt like I was constantly going back and repairing damage done to his self esteem because he was also accused (by my sister) of being a brat, and trying to teach him that the kind of person you are is more important than what you have. When the boys graduated from high school, my nephew was driving a brand new Mustang Cobra, and going to college - with his college guaranteed paid in full as long as he went and passed his classes. My son was driving a $1000 car that he worked and paid for, college was an option and I told him I would do whatever I could to help with the cost, but he would have to work and pay for some of it himself.

My nephew's car was repossessed, he wound up in an abusive relationship (yes, he was the one being abused - physically) that he had a very hard time separating himself from, he got a good paying job and enjoyed having the money to spend and dropped out of college, got involved in drugs and lost his job. He is now living with his mother in a 1 bedroom apartment doing landscaping. Nothing wrong with landscaping, but he's not doing it because it's what he enjoys. He made almost straight As in school, highly intelligent, was studying to be a pharmacist in college when he dropped out.

My son is in the Air Force, loves the military life, loves his job, independent (I have helped him out a couple of times, but he has never asked... I had to talk him into allowing me to help out and he isn't dependent on me), he is very responsible and his supervisors can't brag about his character and ethics enough. He knows what he wants to do with his life, he has a plan at least, and I'm more proud of the kind of person he has turned out to be (not perfect, but a good person).

In December when my son was at home, my sister's truck was acting up on her way to my house. Her son had driven her truck the night before and had looked at the truck that morning and said nothing was wrong. While she was here, my son looked at her truck and there was no belt. none.... gone. He spent hours finding a belt for her truck (which he bought) and fixed her truck for her.


Emmas mommy, don't let what they're saying get next to you and protect your daughter from it as much as you possibly can. When your child is grown and their child is grown, you will see the results of what you taught your child. Let them worry about what they teach their child, but don't let it affect or influence how you raise yours. You are responsible for what God has given you and they are responsible for what God has given them.

[littlegal]

You're number one responsibility is taking care of Emma.  I highly suggest keeping her far away from that family.  It is Ryan's family and his responsibitlity to be open with them and let them know why you won't be around until the problem is resolved.  This woman needs to be flat out told that she is not any better and Emma is a wonderful child.
Someone has to get some open communication started.  They need to know that the way they are treating your child is completely unacceptable.  Maybe bring a mediator in for some counseling with a pastor.  But it does need to be addressed soon!

[amanda18]

I know this is way  but my mother walked by when I was reading that and saw emmas picture and she was like, Who's that beautiful little girl? i was like emma and she walked away saying that she was cute... Emma is a beautiful baby and maybe your SIL family is just jelous that their baby aint as cute..