Untitled Poem

[Chinadoll]

Unarmoured at last
I stand before my church
The winds blow cool
Against my now exposed self
I look around me
Wanting to believe
In the protection of those over me
But it's difficult
When all I see are too human failures
I long
To retreat into my armour
Into its safety and warmth
I'm used to the numbness
And the weight of it all
On putting off the armour
I've let in feeling
Harsher then I recall
I am afraid
Afraid of those around me
Afraid of what I see in the mirror
But the armour won't protect me from that
-- N. Banta 10/28/07