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Waiting for the Last One to Die

Started by RainbowJingles, March 20, 2008, 06:27:19 PM

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RainbowJingles

Waiting for the Last One to Die
by Elona

They gathered at her bedside wondering how much longer she could possibly last.  Only 61 years old, she looked aged well beyond her years.  Her rugged lifestyle had taken its toll on her body, and the lines across her face were deep as she looked sadly at her family, knowing that she would not last much longer.

Weakly, she turned her head to look at her children and grandchildren who had gathered together in her tent when they realized her time was so close.  Her words were like a mere breath, but the children gathered by her understood when she said, "Children, I have to go so you can move forward.  Please know that I wish I could have gone with you, but it is time to go now.  The promises I once had can now be yours."  Her breathing became more labored as she reached her hand up to caress the cheek of her beloved 18-year old granddaughter and wipe away a trear that trickled down her face.  "I am the last to go.  Do not cry.  Now you may move forward.  Remember what I have taught you.  Never complain.  Always believe.  Serve... our... LORD."

She took one long, labored breath, and then her eyes closed.  Her children looked at one another with tears streaming down their faces.  They knew that it must be so.  They knew that their mother was the last to go, and that now their journey to their promises could begin, but something inside them wanted to hold on.  Something within them craved the comfort of their mother's  arms.  Something within them cried out to her to come back.  At the same time, a part of them rejoiced in their freedom.  The freedom to move into their promises had been denied for 40 long years, since their mother was just barely out of her teens.  Their mother had taught them all that she could about the One True God, for she knew her time was short.  She always looked forward to the time that she would leave them to proudly inherit the land that God had promised.  Yet the children looked at her still face and wondered if it was worth it.  Would the journey they were about to make be worth losing their family?  Would the journey and the Promised Land be worth this great loss?

While they pondered these things, sounds of supressed celebration began to mingle with mournful cries throughout their camp as news of their mother's death spread...



What would it have been like to be at the deathbed of the last Israelite from the complaining era?  I began to ponder this recently as I read of the children of Israel and their years of wandering.  They circled and traveled, waiting for the last one of the complaining era to die.  What was it like to be the last one, knowing you had to go so that God's promises could be fulfilled?  Would it have been lonely, knowing that no one wanted you to live?  What would they have taught their children and grandchildren?

I started thinking about the times that I have things that I need to give to God: things in my life that don't belong there; things that need to die; things that need to be gone before I can enter into the promises of God.  They have near-death experiences, and I cry.  They have times of sickness and weakness, and I weep.  These things in my life struggle to remain, even though I know that they must die.  I must let them go.  I know this.  But as I wait at their deathbed, I feel a slow tear escape as I think of how much I will miss them.  As long as I sit at the side of their bed, I pity them and wish for the return of their strength.

Once I remove myself from the bedside and bury the things that I have allowed to die, I realize that I must move on with my life, and that God has the most awesome blessings and victories of my life waiting for me just beyond the deathwatch.

End your deathbed vigil.  Bury the things that needed to die.  Travel toward your Promised Land.






May God bless you in your journey.

Elona  :-)


MelodyB

Wow Elona, just WOW.

Thanks, That was so timely. But yet, you knew that already. ;)

*Tight HUG*

Have you slapped that one dude from Indiana with a pie in the face today?
 

Sister_Mom

Very timely indeed. Thank you for posting this Elona.
God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.


Sister_Mom

I've been thinking on this all afternoon and now this song is really speaking to my heart:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6beNoG0H0E0

I posted it in the "What Song is on Your Mind" thread, but thought it just might be appropriate here.
God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.


RainbowJingles

**HUGS** Mel back

Thanks, ladies.  Sometimes life is like that, I guess.  I know that God's plan is perfect, but sometimes it feels like dying out to self is so painful that we'd rather live with our self-will.

Oh phooey.  Here I go preaching to myself again.  lol


Can't watch the youtube link at the moment at work.  What song is it?


MelodyB

Have you slapped that one dude from Indiana with a pie in the face today?
 

RainbowJingles


MelodyB

Have you slapped that one dude from Indiana with a pie in the face today?
 

Sister_Mom

Quote from: RainbowJingles on March 21, 2008, 05:05:18 PM

I know that God's plan is perfect, but sometimes it feels like dying out to self is so painful that we'd rather live with our self-will.


Just because there are things in our lives that must change in order for us to be in God's will and it's hard to give up something in order to get there, doesn't mean we would rather live with our own self-will. The battle between flesh and Spirit will always be there as long as we live in these bodies here on earth (yes, Melody.... while we're in "this stuff" *slightly waves hands back and forth*). I think many times we want to be in the will of God and go where He leads and do what He wants, we know that getting there is the hard part and that's where the battle is. Yes, we have to want to make the change first, but making the flesh do what we have to in order to get to where God is leading and/or do what He wants us to do. Life would be a lot easier if all we had to do was want to be obedient and want to give up the things we know we should. Sometimes there has to be a sacrifice - giving up something(s) we cherish, sometimes we have to go through the refiners fire.

Our flesh fights what we know is necessary, not because we want to stay where we are and continue in the way we are going, but because the flesh knows the pain that must be suffered in order to get where we should be.



1) The desire to obey God out of love
2) Bringing the flesh under submission to the Spirit
3) making the necessary sacrifices


That's where this part that you said comes in RJ:

4) Once I remove myself from the bedside and bury the things that I have allowed to die, I realize that I must move on with my life, (and this is #5) and that God has the most awesome blessings and victories of my life waiting for me just beyond the deathwatch.



Our sacrifices don't earn our blessings, but when God wants to bring about a change in our lives, it is always for our good. Sometimes there are things we must give up in order for God to make the change. Sometimes He makes the change through our willingness to make the sacrifice, and sometimes we are made stronger by getting to the point where we are able to make the sacrifice therefore preparing us in some way for what God has planned for us on the road He has prepared for us to travel.

Just because there is a struggle, don't beat yourself up thinking that you prefer to live in your own self-will. Allowing God to examine your heart and some self-examination will reveal to you if your motives are selfish, or if it's simply something difficult to do because of the natural continuing battle. You may very well "want" to do God's will, but just because it's difficult doesn't mean you are selfish or self-centered which is the basis of self-will, it doesn't necessarily mean it's not what you prefer or want.
God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.


MelodyB

Have you slapped that one dude from Indiana with a pie in the face today?
 

RainbowJingles

Quote from: Sister_Mom on March 22, 2008, 06:17:11 AM
Quote from: RainbowJingles on March 21, 2008, 05:05:18 PM

I know that God's plan is perfect, but sometimes it feels like dying out to self is so painful that we'd rather live with our self-will.


Just because there are things in our lives that must change in order for us to be in God's will and it's hard to give up something in order to get there, doesn't mean we would rather live with our own self-will. The battle between flesh and Spirit will always be there as long as we live in these bodies here on earth (yes, Melody.... while we're in "this stuff" *slightly waves hands back and forth*). I think many times we want to be in the will of God and go where He leads and do what He wants, we know that getting there is the hard part and that's where the battle is. Yes, we have to want to make the change first, but making the flesh do what we have to in order to get to where God is leading and/or do what He wants us to do. Life would be a lot easier if all we had to do was want to be obedient and want to give up the things we know we should. Sometimes there has to be a sacrifice - giving up something(s) we cherish, sometimes we have to go through the refiners fire.

Our flesh fights what we know is necessary, not because we want to stay where we are and continue in the way we are going, but because the flesh knows the pain that must be suffered in order to get where we should be.



1) The desire to obey God out of love
2) Bringing the flesh under submission to the Spirit
3) making the necessary sacrifices


That's where this part that you said comes in RJ:

4) Once I remove myself from the bedside and bury the things that I have allowed to die, I realize that I must move on with my life, (and this is #5) and that God has the most awesome blessings and victories of my life waiting for me just beyond the deathwatch.



Our sacrifices don't earn our blessings, but when God wants to bring about a change in our lives, it is always for our good. Sometimes there are things we must give up in order for God to make the change. Sometimes He makes the change through our willingness to make the sacrifice, and sometimes we are made stronger by getting to the point where we are able to make the sacrifice therefore preparing us in some way for what God has planned for us on the road He has prepared for us to travel.

Just because there is a struggle, don't beat yourself up thinking that you prefer to live in your own self-will. Allowing God to examine your heart and some self-examination will reveal to you if your motives are selfish, or if it's simply something difficult to do because of the natural continuing battle. You may very well "want" to do God's will, but just because it's difficult doesn't mean you are selfish or self-centered which is the basis of self-will, it doesn't necessarily mean it's not what you prefer or want.

Yeah.  That's what I REALLY meant.  ;)  lol

Seriously, though, I do know what you mean.  Makes a lot of sense.  I guess I basically just mean that it's easier to put things on life support sometimes than think about the pain of letting them die.

The Purple Fuzzy

Saw a guest reading this.  Good post, Elona.