did you live alone first?

[Amelia Bedelia]

LOL  come on, can she share with us just a little bit?     

[LarryTheCucumber]

no!!

[LeahMarie]

Aw! Haha! Why not?

[SippinTea]

*pat pat pat* Don't worry little bro...I'm not tellin' nothin'. 

[LarryTheCucumber]

'cause then I'd have to kill her, and I'd really, really hate to have to do that 


.....let's just say that my ant colony still hasn't recovered from her visit 

[Amelia Bedelia]

LOL 

[LeahMarie]

Got'cha!

[M‡¢ĦÆŁ Ҝ]

While I still enjoy the occasional times when I have the house to myself, living on my own taught me the importance of companionship.  Honestly, there were times when I didn't feel like going back to an empty apartment after work.

Living on your own, by yourself, has it's positive side, but there is just nothing like coming home to be with the one you love and who loves you.  It makes coming home after work worth it.

[Scott]

It has always been my opinion that before getting married, everyone needs to live in an apartment on their own for at least 6 months. We all need to learn to be self sufficient and know how to take care of ourselves without anyone around to back us up.

Reason?

Too often a couple is married and goes from mom and dad's house to co habitation with their spouse.  Then somewhere down the line a divorce or death happens and you are suddenly alone with no clue how to live alone.  I have known too many people suddenly left alone who suffer depression because they just do not know how to handle living on their own.

When I first moved out, I lived in a furnished apartment owned by the nicest lady who ever lived.  This lady went to my church and had several apartments that she rented out.  I paid cheap rent and had great neighbors (all church people).

I learned to pay the rent, the phone bill, car payments, car insurance, visa bill, buy my own gas, get the oil changed, budget for groceries, and other expenses.  I found out that I didn't run around as much as I used to run around (I had bills to pay), I started reading more, had a great stereo system and started to mature faster.

Soon AFTER my company transfered me to a different state and I KNEW how to survive without anyone.  That is the most important thing that you learn living on your own.

We all want to believe that our marriages will last or that our spouses will live forever, but sad to say that doesn't happen.

A great friend of mine died a few months ago, leaving her husband and several kids behind.  I grew up with her and we ran around together in our younger years. Suddenly she developed Cancer and lost the battle. Now her husband is alone trying to raise kids.

I just got the word that another friend of mine has cancer and they do not know how long she has to live. I don't know her hubby, but he will be facing life alone soon.

When we were teenagers, both of these gals were full of live, loud, God Loving, good Christian holy ghost filled girls, full of talent and a heart full of service for God.

They never planned for early deaths and their husbands didn't marry them expecting them to die.

I have a good friend who fights depression and anger.  Twice he was left high and dry by a wife that backslid after having affairs.  He did not know how to live alone and had to force himself to learn how to live alone.

He forced him self to go out to a nice restaurant on a Saturday night and take a book along. It was hard to sit alone while couples around him looked at each other with goo goo eyes. It has taken him several years of depression and loud whining to learn how to be alone. Had he learned that prior to marriage, he'd know how to handle it better.

[LarryTheCucumber]

 

excellent observations

[Geri]

I am living on my own (getting married in 1 month 3 weeks and 6 days), I always wanted to live on my own at least a little while before I got married because I have always been so dependent on my parents. I interviewed for a couple different jobs my last year in college, and it just happened that one was in Cincinnati (where I lived my whole life and only an hour away from Tyler), one was in Columbus, and the last one was in Cleveland.  Well I learned pretty fast that I didn't want the one in Cincinnati. The one in Columbus had a lot of unanswered questions and some of the stuff they were telling me made me take a step back. The one in Cleveland was a perfect fit from day one. Everything positioned itself perfectly for my to take the job in Cleveland. My mom was even dealing with it ok, and that's saying something. I'm an only child, her "Holy Ghost baby" as she calls me (my parents found out I was commin along about a month after she received the Holy Ghost). Needless to say she is a little protective and...um...smothering...um...yeah *cough*

Anyways, I talked to Tyler about it and I told him honestly that if he did not want to move to Cleveland, I would turn down the job and keep looking. Without hesitation he said "I'll go wherever you want to go", even though I know he really really really wanted to move to Montana to be near his dad and that side of his family.

Anyway, I started my new job in June. So by necessity I have had to grow up and be responsible for myself pretty quickly. And I am so glad that I did for a couple of reasons....

1. I discovered that there is absolutely not one iota of doubt in my mind that I want to spend the rest of my life with Tyler. Being so far away from him made me realize how much being even an hour away from him means to me. I miss him and can't see myself ever living without him.

2. On the other hand, I have discovered that I am very independent. Who knew? I have always been a follower, and I'll admit, a little clingy. Being on my own, far enough from home that i can't depend on anyone but myself day to day has taught me that no matter what happens in life, I WILL BE OKAY! I can take care of myself, and I am really good at it! I have developed so much more self-esteem, self-worth and self-admiration in the few months I have been here, than I ever did the first 24 years of my life! I really feel that I am so much more prepared and able to take care of Tyler and our children now that I have learned how to take care of myself lol

3. I'm away from my parents so they can't spoil me and do everything for me. And that's about all I'll say about that point

About the apartment thing...I'm living in a two bedroom, two full bath 1060 sqft apartment with a 20' long living room and a matching balcony off the living room. I NEVER could have afforded this in Cincinnati. I LOVE CLEVELAND!!(Well, Mayfield Heights actually, but neways...)

I have rambled on long enough, but I just wanna say this. I know living on your own before marriage just isn't right for some people, but for me it completely changed my life. I wish I had done it sooner.

Geri

[Amelia Bedelia]

Awesome!  Glad to hear its all working out so well for you!

but for me it completely changed my life. I wish I had done it sooner.

I hear ya!!! LOL

I'm finally on my own now and LOVING it!!!!!! 

No big revelations or huge learning adjustments so far, I was already as independent as possible before but boy is it sure nice to actually live it
My life is all my own, just me and God living it up - doors opening and me getting to walk right through :grin:
The stress is all my own and its a happy sort of stress LOL

Alone yet sooooo NOT lonely

This rocks  :grin:

[terp]

While I still enjoy the occasional times when I have the house to myself, living on my own taught me the importance of companionship.  Honestly, there were times when I didn't feel like going back to an empty apartment after work.

Living on your own, by yourself, has it's positive side, but there is just nothing like coming home to be with the one you love and who loves you.  It makes coming home after work worth it.

Aww...that's really sweet. 

[terp]

Four years on my own and I'm soon to be back with the 'rents. 

Living alone is a challenge.  Living as an adult with your parents could present it's own set of challenges.

I love a challenge.  Smile.

[NessasMama]

I lived alone and I'm glad I did. I also had a child though, so, I kinda had no choice but to live on my own.

[MelodyB]

I moved out when I was 21, moved BACK at 23, and back out at 25.

Living alone is nice. I love the fact that I can come and go as I please, and I dont have to do anything I dont want to do. I love the fact that I can get a phone call, and I can rush right out and take care of something or somebody and not have to worry about telling anyone anything, or finding a sitter or whatever. I just jump up and go.

I do not like being alone ALL the time, but I dont think I would like anyone there all the time either. And I dont like being responsible for all the bills and not having a hot meal unless I cook it myself, and I hate eating alone when I do fix a good hot meal.

So it has its ups and downs, but I might as well get used to it, cause Im not getting married anytime soon, and I dont plan on moving back in with my parents either.

But I have learned alot, and I have grown up too, since that first run-down-leaking-over-my-bed-no-heat-no-stove-flames-shoot-out-of-the-light-socket-Cat-goes-outside-thru-a-hole-under-bathroom-sink-bed-fill-up-the-whole-bed-room-Ill-have-company-over-anyway trailer I used to live in! But I lived there for a year and a half and I was the happiest there! GO FIGURE!

[LeahMarie]

I'm planning on living alone a good while before I get married..

[kkay]

I've been on my own since I was 18 but have always had at least one roommate. As of April, however, I'll be living in my own apartment before Taurean and I get married (if we do).

I think it's a good idea to be able to live on your own before you get married, even if you need to have a roommate. It creates a lot of responsibility and also lets you get the feel of what it's like to pay your own bills and be your own person.

To each his/her own though

[Sis]

Lived alone for awhile. Had a roommate, but when I was working nights, she was partying and everyone was eating us out of house and home so I had to tell my best friend to move. She hasn't spoken to me since. It was necessary. When I got home, I was dead tired and wanted to sleep but couldn't with a house full of people. We only had four rooms.

[Niki]

I didn't live on my own before getting married. I wouldn't want to live alone. Which is kind of funny, considering I tend to be a loner. lol But I would be too lonely and bored if I lived alone. Besides, I didn't have any money.

My husband and I lived with my mom (parents separated some time around the time I got married - they divorced a few years later) for over a year before we got our own place in eastern NC, where the cost of living is lower. We moved back to the city we're in now almost a year later, but didn't move back in with my mom. We were doing fine financially by then and could afford our own place here.