News:

What happens if you get scared half to death twice? -Steven Wright

Main Menu

What is Love? by Gila Manolson

Started by apsurf, February 15, 2007, 04:54:35 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

TRAV

 

For God so loved the world that He gave Himself that whosoever....... He loves us regardless of what we do or who we are - even if it's despicable. He doesn't love conditionally. It is our choices that make the difference.
PROVERBS 3:5,6

newkris

back to actions being loving or not . . . you know . . . each of us perceives the actions of the others around us through our own set of expectations.  sometimes . . people are trying to be loving according to what they expect to receive - and it doesn't meet what we expect to recieve and . .  so we're hurt, even though no hurt was intended.  know what i mean?

it's important in receiving love that we consider the giver and what their intentions are.

as for God loving everyone, that's obvious, trav, you're preaching to the choir on that.  but  . .  .we are not God and sometimes people hurt us. 

my question remains:  how long do we have to stay on the path of those who hurt us?  do we have to continue because we have to continue forgiving them?  at what point is it doing more harm than good?
\\\\\\\"i want to say more than words when i write\\\\\\\" - kent d. curry
me, too.


myspace.com\\\\\\\\krisknowshim
there are times in the whirlwind of my fragile life that i have hidden under your words, your voice.

TRAV

Quote from: newkris on February 16, 2007, 05:59:56 AM

as for God loving everyone, that's obvious, trav, you're preaching to the choir on that.  but  . .  .we are not God and sometimes people hurt us. 



Maybe it's not so obvious after all.
PROVERBS 3:5,6

apsurf

Kinda like today I was called a hater by my boss because I am a CHristian and believe in the exclusiveness of Christ being the only way of salvation.  He would not give me a chance to say anything of what I believed, but expected me to listen to him spout about how "accepting" hinduism is, and respectful it is, and how any religion that doesn't accept others doing good are ok are a bunch of haters....I finally had to tell him and the other girl there to "let me finish, I listened to you, now hush up and listen to me...."  (of course this is after a couple hours of standing there being yelled at- when on the clock there isn't much one can do...)


He has this bright idea that Jesus and mary Magnelene did get their "thing on"  (not the words he used of course)... and if we deny that then we deny the truth, and if we say we are exclusive, then we are    wrong of course...and not telling the truth that Christ taught. :roll:

I remembered as I woke up tonight the words I should have said...It is not me who made the claim of exclusiveness of the path to come to God, it was God himself.  While the path is exclusive in the fact it is the only path, it is open to all who will follow it of their free choice. 

SippinTea

Quote from: newkris on February 16, 2007, 05:59:56 AM
back to actions being loving or not . . . you know . . . each of us perceives the actions of the others around us through our own set of expectations.  sometimes . . people are trying to be loving according to what they expect to receive - and it doesn't meet what we expect to recieve and . .  so we're hurt, even though no hurt was intended.  know what i mean?

it's important in receiving love that we consider the giver and what their intentions are.

as for God loving everyone, that's obvious, trav, you're preaching to the choir on that.  but  . .  .we are not God and sometimes people hurt us. 

my question remains:  how long do we have to stay on the path of those who hurt us?  do we have to continue because we have to continue forgiving them?  at what point is it doing more harm than good?

Kris, I know where you're headed with this....and my thoughts are that if someone's actions are destructive to those around them, and if after a reasonable effort is made to offer them help they still show no signs of changing, than distance should be put between them and those they are hurting. Forgiveness still has to be extended, yes, but the behavior should not be allowed to continue. And sometimes that means putting a great deal of space between parties. There is no excuse for intentionally harming others, and if they refuse to deal with the root of the problem, then there really isn't anything you can do to help them, besides prayer. But forgiveness does not mean that you leave yourself in a position of continual hurt and harm.

I'm still praying!

:beret:
"Not everything that is of God is easy." -Elona

"When you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything." -F. Chan

"A real live hug anytime you want it is priceless." -Rachel

RainbowJingles

Love prompted some friends this week to seek professional counseling for a mutual friend of ours.
We still love.  We still forgive.  We prayed.  Now we're turning it over to God and putting feet on our faith.
And we're not being skeptical that this will be "just like last time."  Instead, we are trusting that God will work HIS divine miracle and restore the family soon.  Will the wife be able to forgive him?  I pray that she can.

apsurf

Bitten and then be shy.... so many times one opens the heart, to give, but nothing is ever replenished...One can not give what one no longer has...  But the article was right on that point. when one has nothing left to give, they must give thenselves, it is a choice.. We usually choose to cover up the wounds rather than risk exposing them to a fresh attack...But if we don't take the chance, how we will know the beauty of the friendship that can be there? (or even more so if you are lucky!)  We also must choose to continue to offer ourselves and our heart for a relationship to work...but on the occasion, we must also sense the time to not choose to stop loving them, but to walk away and let the door close.  Something of which I am not good at, closing the door at the right time, either too early or too late...or trying to force it open when it is bolted shut. or trying to make a door where there isn't one.

newkris

something else to consider:  these discussions apply not only to male/female relationships, but also to parent/child, pastor/saint, friend/friend.

and, actually, that was where i was going with the above thoughts.  often times i see parents who give to their kids until they are both hurt by the giving - honestly.  some people call it spoiling.  but it's a matter of knowing when to say, "no, I WON'T allow you to hurt me and you anymore."  same thing with an abusive marriage or .. .  . an abusive friendship. 

and it's something to consider when your pastor has behaved wrongly or your parents or children hurt you or your friends resemble Job's friends.

another thought about loving:  those of you who have very strong loving families have a foundation to draw from that not everyone has.  those of us without a strong family background, rely on our friends or church family to fill that role.  IF someone has a foundation from which to draw love from others, they are more likely to give love and not closet themselves away when they are hurt.

just a thought.
\\\\\\\"i want to say more than words when i write\\\\\\\" - kent d. curry
me, too.


myspace.com\\\\\\\\krisknowshim
there are times in the whirlwind of my fragile life that i have hidden under your words, your voice.

apsurf

But there is some of us who had great foundations, but who still end up have a great desire to curl up and hide, and not allow anyone to see the inside of who we really are.  We choose to hide behind a mask...I know from experience.  My last post in this thread was somewhat talking about that.

newkris

Here is today's Bible verse . . . do you think God is trying to tell me something?  hhhhmmmm . .  .



Love means doing what God has commanded us, and he has commanded us to love one another, just as you heard from the beginning.

2 John 1:6, NLT

   
\\\\\\\"i want to say more than words when i write\\\\\\\" - kent d. curry
me, too.


myspace.com\\\\\\\\krisknowshim
there are times in the whirlwind of my fragile life that i have hidden under your words, your voice.

terp

Quote from: nwlife on February 16, 2007, 03:01:15 PM
But there is some of us who had great foundations, but who still end up have a great desire to curl up and hide, and not allow anyone to see the inside of who we really are.  We choose to hide behind a mask...I know from experience.  My last post in this thread was somewhat talking about that.
Amen, brother.
The grace of imperfection...amazing.

SippinTea

Quote from: nwlife on February 16, 2007, 03:01:15 PM
But there is some of us who had great foundations, but who still end up have a great desire to curl up and hide, and not allow anyone to see the inside of who we really are.  We choose to hide behind a mask...I know from experience.  My last post in this thread was somewhat talking about that.

Preach it, Bro Brandon!!

:beret:
"Not everything that is of God is easy." -Elona

"When you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything." -F. Chan

"A real live hug anytime you want it is priceless." -Rachel

newkris

hhmm.  interesting.  so you mean that even with that strong of a foundation, you guys feel that relationships are just as frightening as i do with all of my dysfunction behind me?

hhhmm...


i have decided that love is fragile and ought to be handled with prayer. 
\\\\\\\"i want to say more than words when i write\\\\\\\" - kent d. curry
me, too.


myspace.com\\\\\\\\krisknowshim
there are times in the whirlwind of my fragile life that i have hidden under your words, your voice.

SippinTea

#38
*shrug* I just don't trust people easily. Maybe it started from growing up in a pastor's home and seeing too much.

But whatever the root cause, it's usually easier to hide the real me, and not take the risk of having my world blown to smithereens by someone betraying my trust.

I only partially believe the saying 'better to loved and have lost.' Sometimes love and trust is misplaced and only leaves a fog of pain and hoplessness in its wake. If that love and trust was given to someone honorable, who realized the worth of what they were given, then yes...the memory of that love would be better than never having had it.

Quote from: newkris on February 16, 2007, 06:22:59 PM
i have decided that love is fragile and ought to be handled with prayer. 

:great:

:beret:
"Not everything that is of God is easy." -Elona

"When you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything." -F. Chan

"A real live hug anytime you want it is priceless." -Rachel

newkris

i thought about that phrase a lot today . . . better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved before.

there are some people who i loved very much who i am glad, privileged even, to have known and loved even though they are gone from my path right now.  my grandma and grandpa, especially, who taught me about love, for real.

but then . . there are some people who i thought i loved, who i thought loved me . . . but when i look backwards at those relationships - that wasn't really love.  i could label them all sorts of different things and dissect them - mostly they were the result of someone else's expectations and not mine - and . . . i find i didn't really love them.  it hurt when they were gone becauase i thought i "should" have loved them, but . .  i didn't.  neither did they love me.  and so  . . . their absence in my life really isn't a loss after all.  but it has taken some time to get to that point. 

there are some very good friends that have crossed my path and made an impression and are now hither and yon who i would say i loved and lost because time and life separated us, but . . . if our paths cross again, we'll just pick up where we left off - to some degree.

taking the chance to love someone is worth it. 

and . . .if you get hurt?  you know?  it means you can feel - and you are still alive.  at some point as deep as that hurt hurts, you will feel love to the same height.

and that is the wisdom of newkris.    :hi:
\\\\\\\"i want to say more than words when i write\\\\\\\" - kent d. curry
me, too.


myspace.com\\\\\\\\krisknowshim
there are times in the whirlwind of my fragile life that i have hidden under your words, your voice.

apsurf

I agree most of your last post...  With the job I have, my sense of compassion has really lessoned. Mercy doesn't run very easy with me sometimes.  I have to force myself at times to choose to show it.  Or even choose to open myself up to the possibility of being hurt.  Sometimes I wonder if it is all a dream...But I have found when I close off, Time does seem to drag by, but it disappears with nothing to show for it.  when I have helped someone, time seems to freeze more (and I don't seem to age as fast! :clap:  LOL!)  But having been hurt fairly bad emotionally at times (check out my thread in the poetry section and you will see somewhat).... anyway water under the bridge....
time to go find my mask! :vvader:

newkris

you're right about the change in passage of time.  it also seems to go hand in hand with sadness and gladness.

hhhmmm . . . .    interesting.
\\\\\\\"i want to say more than words when i write\\\\\\\" - kent d. curry
me, too.


myspace.com\\\\\\\\krisknowshim
there are times in the whirlwind of my fragile life that i have hidden under your words, your voice.

brotodd_98

I am one of those people who perhaps Loved people for my own expectations.When I discovered I needed to love family,Friends and the lost souls in spite of what or how I thought they should act or be,it may have been too late to prove that i really was trying to be genuine.I've struggled in this area but I believe God is going to greatly enhance my witness for him at my crossroads.I believe in restoration and reconciliation for people who are trying to communicate their remorsefulness for perhaps abusing your open lovingness.Jesus did give the 7 churches a space to repent.That space of time is unknown,I think.To love your enemies and do good to those who have despitefully used you are some of the hardest commandments Jesus gave because none of us want to do that.He has shown me to love people not only because of,but also in spite of.

TRAV

How does God expect us to love ourselves? (reference to: Love your neighbor as yourself.)
PROVERBS 3:5,6

InChristGirl

We can only love ourselves when we truly see how much God loves us. And God doesn't love useless things. He see's our full potential in him.