Ages and relationships *Updated 8-20-9*

[Newsman]

   A little bit different than the other thread on questions about relationships..so I started a new thread.

  We have discuused before, and can here again, age differences in a relationship,,new people through, different perspectives, ol perspectives change. But more than just the age differences, what are good ages to marry and 'settle down.'?

  I know we need to be led of God, but the Bible tells the man he has found a good thing when he finds a wife..find denotes looking, to me, to search.

  I see people write of being married by 18 or it's too late, and I wish this didn't get pushed off on people.

  There are different perspectives among men, surely, and it may be vastly different for women, but here are some thoughts from me;

  I wasn't ready to get married at 21..I don't necessarily think it was maturity, but the fact I was still out doing things with my friends, hanging out with them, and the ones who had a wife back then we felt dragged them down..in essence, if they were going to make that work, then we needed to be the weights they let go in hanging around so much with.

  I think, looking back over the years, that 25-30 would have been a good age to have gotten married in. You are working as an adult, but haven't gotten so hooked into the career thing that it becomes an obsession. While you can be very active in church, you probably still have enough freedom in your positions to be able to take off a few weekends a year, and go on fun vacations.

  For me, 30-40 was when I really buckled down in the field of work I'm in, and God has bleesed me to advance in some areas in. It's not a high-paying career according to some fields, but advancement came during this area.

  I have heard that Rush Limbaugh has said you really don't start to succeed until you turn 40. I notice about that time I was accepted by almost all age groups, only occasionally thought of as 'a kid' but still accepted by much younger folks.

  Professionally, God has blessed me to where I've probably won more awards in the past four years than I did in all my years working before that. Dating opportunities in your early 40's are great, too, lots of people you can ask out. The thing about the single in their 40's is, when really cool stuff happens and God blesses, you have no one to fully share that with ithout running the risk of being thought a braggart.

  Still, looking back, I think 25-30 would have been the best time to marry..what do you folks think?


John  

[SippinTea]

I think you might be right.   

[RainbowJingles]

I think I agree as well.

HOWEVER, since I've passed that age range, I think that 36 is the PERFECT age to get married. 

[MelodyB]

I agree as well...too bad Im not getting married.

[Raecheal]

I agree.. I think 23-28 is a great age for most women.. with men.. I'd say 25-30 (give or take a year or two in each direction). Granted.. many who marry younger will make it work but I do think there will be some difficulties because the majority of 18 or 19 year olds do not fully who they are (yet).

If you are 18 or 19.. you might disagree.. but I'm not trying to be insulting. But ask anyone a few years past those ages.. and most will say they have changed quite a bit since that age.. At 18 and at 20 and at 22 ... I was still becoming more and more 'me.' Now.. I'm quite comfortable in my skin .. Should a man like that? Great. If he doesn't.. tough.

[B]

They ("they" being one Apostolic psych-guy...can't remember his actual doctorate. lol) actually say that it's best to get married sometime before the age of 24. Supposedly, after that, people are pretty much set in their ways and don't like/want to deal with change (which obviously occurs when you get married). Getting married before that happens makes the adjustment needed for marriage easier to handle.

Just repeating what I've heard. If it's true, then I have about 7 months to get married. lol

B

[Chseeads]

You better get up that tree man. 



Actually, I'm so jaded on it all, that I wouldn't wish it on anybody.  lol  (Marriage, that is...)


I'm not willing to change my life for marriage or a romantic relationship, there's other things that mean too much to me and have a greater value.

[B]

You might actually be a perfect example of what that guy was talking about. lol

B

[Chseeads]

Awesome, my case has a diagnosis!   

[apsurf]

age.....wasn't long ago I was visiting a church and met a nice lady who had a strong interrest in cooking, very pretty, very secure in herself and job, lived in my local area, very active in her church, was a widow.   Anyway, I almost asked her out when I realized she wasn't 35 like I thought, but 50!!!

The last girl I actively dated was 5-6 years older than me.  So age isn't a big deal, but something I do consider.

[B]

As far as age goes, it doesn't bother me. What bothers me is when a person doesn't even give someone a chance based solely on their age (and assumptions they've made or conclusions they've drawn about that age).

My parents are 18 years apart with my mother being the older, which is probably why I feel the way I do.

B

[Sis]

I agree.. I think 23-28 is a great age for most women.. with men.. I'd say 25-30 (give or take a year or two in each direction). Granted.. many who marry younger will make it work but I do think there will be some difficulties because the majority of 18 or 19 year olds do not fully who they are (yet).

If you are 18 or 19.. you might disagree.. but I'm not trying to be insulting. But ask anyone a few years past those ages.. and most will say they have changed quite a bit since that age.. At 18 and at 20 and at 22 ... I was still becoming more and more 'me.' Now.. I'm quite comfortable in my skin .. Should a man like that? Great. If he doesn't.. tough.

We had a 13-year-old in church that claimed she was an adult. She said, that by 13, she was mature enough to make her own decisions and should be able to get married if she so desired.

When she was 20 and engaged, I reminded her of her words and asked her if she still felt the same way. She laughed and said, NOOOOO! I was so stupid back then.

Sometimes you can only know those things in hindsight.

If the young people would realize that their marriage is supposed to last a lifetime, in some cases 70-80 years. That's an awfully long time to live with the same person. You should take the time to make sure you get it right.

... actually say that it's best to get married sometime before the age of 24.

The ones I know personally who have married around 30, are better together. Better parents, more calm have more experience. The women have been out in the work world and are ready to settle down. The ones who marry younger, get into this thing about what they missed and sometimes even cheat because they think they jumped in too soon. God will work it out no matter what age you marry.

[Tsalagi]

The ones who marry younger, get into this thing about what they missed and sometimes even cheat because they think they jumped in too soon.

Amen to that.  Or they leave and run around 'looking for themselves'.  A while back, I asked the ex if she had ever 'found herself', and if she was happier now?

The answer?

"No.  I wish to God I had stayed where I was."

Sad.

Back on topic, I don't really care if a lady is older than me, or younger than me [but not too much].  I'm 34, so 10 years is about the max, with some few exceptions.

[Sis]

That happened to a woman at work, too. She said she read Cosmo and it made her think she was missing something. So she left a good guy and regretted it. She ended up married again to a jerk. He was a gambler, and he morgaged her house behind her back and blew all the money, and never paid it back. She found out when it went into foreclosure. She had lost almost everything because of this jerk.

She started telling me this because she had seen her ex and was crying because of what she had lost.

If it's true love, it can stand a few years wait. It's just that the physical things are so pressing that people get married way too soon. Maybe going back to the old courting rituals could be a good thing, huh?

[Amelia Bedelia]

good time to get married... hmmmm  yesterday?!?  :grin:

I almost got married when I was 18, thankfully I didn't. I've gotten to do a lot of things I otherwise wouldn't have and I've enjoyed my singleness however I think if I had gotten married at 18 I would have been fine as well - just different

I know I've changed and matured (and in some areas un-matured haha) but I don't think being married the last five years would have changed that, I would have still changed and matured - probably differently but I think still equally well or whatever

Since I'm single I'm having a grand time being single - get to go out with lots of different guys and play that field a little bit      I'm plenty ready to settle down for the right guy though.  It gets old being out, some nights it would be wonderful to have a home to go to with someone
So as much fun as I've been having I'm fairly sure if I'd been married at 18 I'd be having a grand time being married and I wouldn't be wondering what I was missing out on in the single world

So, when I'm married, I'll be married
but now, I'm single... and my calendar is rather booked 

[Classicrambler]

.

[TRAV]

..

[NessasMama]

I was 27 when I got married. I think it was a great age for me. Of course, due to circumstances beyond my control I'm no longer married.

I think the age a person is ready to get married depends on the maturity level of the individual.

And, in my opinion age difference between two people doesn't matter. I would date someone who is 23 or someone who is 43 if they were stable and mature enough!!!!!

That's just my 2Cents for the evening. I'm outta here! LOL!!!!!!

[Sis]

..

Snake bite, Trav?

[TRAV]

..

Snake bite, Trav?

more than once.

[RainbowJingles]

Awesome, my case has a diagnosis!   

Yup.  You're officially old. 

[RainbowJingles]

As far as age goes, it doesn't bother me. What bothers me is when a person doesn't even give someone a chance based solely on their age (and assumptions they've made or conclusions they've drawn about that age).

My parents are 18 years apart with my mother being the older, which is probably why I feel the way I do.

B

Every time I hear that I just smile and think, "wow."  lol  Then I laugh about the fact that I was nervous about dating a guy 9 years younger.

[B]

I take that back. It's actually 19 years. I haven't done the math in awhile. lol Oh, and they got married when my dad was 18.

B

[RainbowJingles]

Scandalous!  lol  Downright funny!

[Chseeads]

Holy cow....your momma took him right out of the cradle....