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Started by Sis, December 20, 2008, 10:11:44 PM

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Sis

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'

'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?'


iridiscente


SippinTea

"Not everything that is of God is easy." -Elona

"When you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything." -F. Chan

"A real live hug anytime you want it is priceless." -Rachel

Sis



almondjoy


Sis



BeccaBoo



Do Justly, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly. Micah 6:8

The Purple Fuzzy

#7
Woo hoo. 
Now you and have two for and one boo and one woo hoo. ;)

BeccaBoo

I see 3 for, 1 whoo hoo, and 1 boo...

:bigcheese:


Do Justly, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly. Micah 6:8

EricShane

Hebrews 12:12-16 Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed. Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you

The Purple Fuzzy


almondjoy

*sigh*

Thanks for reminding me.  :smirk2:

BeccaBoo

Oooo...

I REALLY REALLY like that one...

:thumbsup2:


Do Justly, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly. Micah 6:8

Gingerale

lololololol. hilarious. ima gunna use it.

Sis

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Christian elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The teacher made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving fu...rther along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.


Sis

The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. 'Well, Honey,' he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages. 'I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon.''How come He doesn't answer it?' she asked.


Sis

A man once had a farm that sat on the border of Minnesota, and Iowa. He was always wondering which state his farm was actually in.

One day he had a land surveyor come to find out. After some time the land surveyor came back to the man and informed him that he was a proud owner of an Iowa farm.

With a sigh of relief the... farmer looked back at him and with a smile on his face said, "Yes! No more Minnesota winters!"


samzup


yosemite

one day a father went to discipline his child and told him "this is gonna hurt me more than you". the child responded and said, " yeah, but not in the same place"!! :cry2:
My conscience is captive to the Word of God.Thus I cannot and will not recant, for going against my conscience is neither safe nor salutary. I can do no other, here i stand, God help me. Amen      -Martin Luther

The Purple Fuzzy

Quote from: yosemite on March 11, 2010, 10:51:37 AM
one day a father went to discipline his child and told him "this is gonna hurt me more than you". the child responded and said, " yeah, but not in the same place"!! :cry2:
LOL!

EricShane

Hebrews 12:12-16 Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed. Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you

taco_harvell

The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased with his meal that he asked to speak to the chef.  The owner proudly led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef.

"Your veal parmigiana is truly superb," the customer said.  "I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there!"

"Naturally!" the chef said.  "Over there, they use domestic cheese.  Ours is imported!"
In love with RainbowJingles

http://lessonsintrust.blogspot.com/

yosemite

My conscience is captive to the Word of God.Thus I cannot and will not recant, for going against my conscience is neither safe nor salutary. I can do no other, here i stand, God help me. Amen      -Martin Luther

taco_harvell

Tom was invited to his friend's house for dinner. He found that his buddy called his wife every cute name in the book: honey, darling, sweetheart, pumpkin, and baby.

When she was in the kitchen, he leaned over to his friend and said, "I think it's nice you still call your wife all those pet names." "To tell you the truth," his friend said, "I forgot her name abut three years ago."
In love with RainbowJingles

http://lessonsintrust.blogspot.com/

yosemite

boy if she ever found out..... :pound:
My conscience is captive to the Word of God.Thus I cannot and will not recant, for going against my conscience is neither safe nor salutary. I can do no other, here i stand, God help me. Amen      -Martin Luther