What Was The Most Embarrassing Or Funniest Thing That Happened At Church?

[Mrs. Yosemite]

I came home from church one Sunday and was eating lunch. I had dropped some food on my skirt so I took my skirt off and put in the washing machine.

That evening I was in a hurry to get to Sunday evening service. I brushed my teeth, slipped on my shoes, grabbed my purse and hurried out the door. When I got inside the church and started up to the front pew and sat down. A dear sister behind me tapped me on the shoulder and whispered, "Sis, You forgot something".  I was only wearing a blouse and a half-slip.

Can you imagine what all everybody had to talk about on the phone that night!! <a href="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fwww.smileycentral.com%252F%253Fpartner%253DZSzeb008%255FZKxdm021YYUS%2526i%253D36%252F36%255F13%255F1%2526feat%253Dprof/page.html" target="_blank">

[Scott]

Funny things at Church?

We had one lady at church (that will remain namelss because some members of that church post here) who was a very excited shouter. One night she started dancing & Jumping then suddenly fell flat on her face. She had danced her panty hose down around her ankles and tripped herself.

I was visiting a church when a larger guy jumped up and started running the isles with his EYES CLOSED! As he rounded the back turn we heard a loud SMACK!  He ran right into a brick wall. He was ''slain in the spirit'' for a while.

One young man stood to testify and meant to say '' I was visiting my dad in the hospital and had a chance to witness to his roommate''. 

What he said was    '' I was visiting my dad in the hospital and had a chance to witness to his BED-mate''. 

[MelodyB]

[Scott]

We had one old man at our church that fell asleep in the altar EVERY NIGHT!  You could hear him snoring.

One minister preached that Jonah was swollowed by a whale of a belly. When he realized what he said he laughed for nearly 15 minutes. We almost had to dismiss that night.

Once a minister mentioned a 6 shot revolver, but had a slip of the tongue and inserted an I for the O.

One well known preacher started running the isles and when he came to himself, he was 5 blocks from the church.

[Mrs. Yosemite]

OH, LAWD!!! My side is splitting!    I have a big visual image in my imagination!

One night my aunt was tesifying and she was trying to say " Ya'll just pray for me that I'll always be a bright and shining light." But she had to catch her teeth and got her tongue tangled up and said, " Ya'll just pray for me that I'll always be a light and brinning shite!

{Another one} I dont know if this really happened, but I read it as a joke.

A woman said to another, "that sermon was so long I almost fell asleep in church."
The other lady said, "well I sat there so long my 'behind' went to sleep". The first woman said,"Yeah
I know, I heard you snore 3 times."

[Chinadoll]

My two stories:

Logan Burpo is now a precocious 7 year old but then he was two.   This happened within two weeks of each other...

1.   Brother Seniour was PREACHING.   As in shouting, and pounding the pulpit preaching.   And Logan, wide eyed looks up and YELLS "Preach it bonehead!"

(Yeah, his Mom was red and Bro. Seniour lost us for a bit)

2.  Logan was playing with the pastor's daughter a few weeks later...   Cammie had her barbies (why she didn't give him Ken I don't know) but she gave him one.   Being two, he strips her down to her nothins' and then announces quite loudly at a serious point in the sermon "She's not wearing any underwear"

yeah

ROFL

Nai

[Mrs. Yosemite]

AHHHH! I imagine everybody cracked up!
That reminds me of something else a long time ago. I was visiting a church and it was so crowded that I had to sit in a fold-up chair behind the back pew.

A woman was sitting on the pew in front of me and had two rowdy little boys that kept squiggling around. She stood up with a very long testimony. (I dont know how to put this nicely)

Her skirt was stuck up in her 'nether- regions' on her backside. So her little boy, trying to do his mom a favour, reached up his little hand and pulled her skirt out.

She stops testifying really quick and says, "STOP IT< SIT DOWN!" Then she goes on with the rest of her testimony. The little boy didn't really know what to do, he was just trying to correct his mistake, So he quickly poked it back up in there!   SMACK!

I thought I would laugh my spleen up!

[Sis]

 

Tears are flowin' down my cheeks!

[The Purple Fuzzy]

Oh my!

[Mrs. Yosemite]

Well , we can add another one onto the pile!

Before church everybody was shaking hands and greeting on another and talking. A preacher who was standing in front of me had on a pair of suspenders to hold his pants up. The back of his suspenders lost grip and flew up. Popped me right in the nose! Left a blood blister.

When he got up to preach, he just looked back there at me holding my nose. He almost started laughing as he was turning red from embarrassment.  He was trying to find something he could say, He said, "Well I guess if I cant step on your toes, I'll just pop you in the nose".

Everybody was laughing! <a href="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fwww.smileycentral.com%252F%253Fpartner%253DZSzeb008%255FZKxdm021YYUS%2526i%253D10%252F10%255F1%255F129v%2526feat%253Dprof/page.html" target="_blank">

[Chas_18]

well when I was 11 My dad and this other preacher were doing a revival.. I had got up to go to the bath room and as I rounded the back corner this girl reached over and pulled my skirt down... in front of the guy I liked at the time (me and the guy are now best friends and he still doesn't let me live it down and its been 7 years ago)!!!!

One Sunday night I was going to be playing the piano for my dad while he sang I had on a bright lime green outfit on that night well when He called me up he said will kermit the frog please join me on the platform then spent like 5 minutes making fun of my outfit...

[MelodyB]

I have an outfit that everyone calls me Madame Blueberry when I wear it! ROFL!

[Mrs. Yosemite]

  Y'all killing me!!! Kermit The Frog and Madame Blueberry

[Mrs. Yosemite]

 Here's a joke somebody sent me.
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A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.  The man, who was a priest, said, 'I am a Father.'  The little boy replied, 'My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that.'  The priest looked up from his book and answered, ''I am the Father of many.' The boy said, ''My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way!' The priest, getting impatient, said. 'I am the Father of hundreds', and went back to reading his book. The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, ''Maybe you should put your pants on backwards instead of your collar.

[Bev]

These are so funny!!!

When I was still single and going to my home church, I was walking off the platform, when I tripped and started to fall.  Well, there was a man standing there and he tried to catch me, the bad thing is I'm a rolypoly woman, and  he was a little skinny man, probably about 130lbs.  He held his hands out to catch me, and I took him down too.

Then, when I started praise singing at my church now, the pastor made it clear no eating or drinking in church.  I had a mint in my mouth, because of course we eat mints like steak, I opened my mouth to sing and spit it out, right on pastor, it hit his shoe, he looked down and then looked at me as if to say, I said no eating.   What, it wasn't me.LOL

[Mrs. Yosemite]

  I think I just felt my elastic snap!  My sides are splitting.


One night during church, My sister was sitting on the front pew. She has a head full of long, thick hair. One Sunday night during church a huge red wasp flew into her hair and when she swatted at it with her hand it got stuck in her hair. She jumped up from the pew and was slapping and slinging her hair and squealing.

The woman sitting behind her didnt know she had a wasp in her hair. She started clapping & Praising the Lord & getting a blessing and saying , "Do it again Lord! Bless her Good! Wheew Bless her Good! WHEEEEEEW Praise The Lord!! We still laugh about that.


Im headed off to visit a neighboring Apostolic church tonight. Never can tell what might happen next!

[EricShane]

One Sunday night I was going to be playing the piano for my dad while he sang I had on a bright lime green outfit on that night well when He called me up he said will kermit the frog please join me on the platform then spent like 5 minutes making fun of my outfit...

I think thats the one you guys told me about, right? I thought it was a hat, or something though... lol


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My Most Embarrassing moment, was when I got up to sing, and my retarted aunt was behind of me, with a broom brushing my back with it... I opened my mouth to sing, and busted out laughing right in the mic... - everyone in the church lost it... - church was over at that point... - that was about a month or two ago...


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One of my aunts one time was shouting, and her slip fell down, she kicked it under the pew behind her with her foot, and kept on shouting...


one year at camp, there was this Horsefly that bit this girl named heather, during the preaching she screamed and jumped up and ran half way down the aisle like it was chasing her, and the preacher made a funny remark, like the girl was getting in or something


My Cousin Shiela, got up to sing, and her slip fell to her ankles in the middle of her song.


Tonight, my pastor while getting up to start service looked at someone and said "Its so Good to see you tonight Ashley!" then he said "Oh wait... your not ashley!" then he said "Maybe you are Ashley, I aint saying ANYTHING else!" - lol... he was so embarrassed... in the End, it "Was" Ashley... one of our Regular members thats came to our little church for years... she just had her hair down, and he thought it was someone else for a second... lol


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Heres the Funniest One of All, in Crestview church, in Berea Kentucky, so I've heard..... there was a man got up to preach one night, and he said "Everyone turn to the second book of Glasses while I get my peter out of my pocket" - - - He was so embarrased, I heard he sat down right then... lol

also, in the same church an Elderly (kind of senile) woman came out of the Bathroom, and she was shouting up the ailse, there was no music and everyone in the building Got REAL Quiet because they thought she was prophesying or something... she was saying " Shooo.... ohhhhhh.... Shooooo Whhhyyyy I saaay unto you this night... There is no toilet paper!" - and flopped into her seat.

[Sis]

You have a weird family.  But I'd like to know why your aunt was sweeping you.

[EricShane]

You have a weird family.  But I'd like to know why your aunt was sweeping you.

lol, I have a VERY Weird family... lol - thier hillarious! --- My aunt was sweeping me, because everyone was down praying, it was alter call she didnt think anyone would see it, and it would be a harmless little thing... - Pastor used a broom as an illistration during his preaching, and left it on the pulpit beside my aunt... she reaches over, when everyone got down to pray and right when I was opening my mouth to sing, she sweeps the broom across my back whispering "Bless him lord, Bless him lord!" ---- I instantly just burst into loud screaming laughter, right in the Microphone.......

[Sis]

Well, I certainly can understand that. I would've too.   

[Ashlee]

LOL.  Knowing me, I would have been the one doing the sweeping.  I'm weird too.  I love playing practical jokes. 

[Backseat Radio]

Back in the church I grew up in my dad came into service late one evening wearing a black turtleneck and a black suit jacket that kinda had a priest look to it.  The brother who was leading the service calls out to my dad from the platform "Praise the Lord Father (insert last name)".


Back when I was first learning how to dress myself, one night my mom got me to church only to realize I was that I was rather lumpy.  She begin to investigate and come to find out that in dressing myself I'd put on a pair of her underware and had it wrapped around me a few times.


When my brother and I was little, my mom stood up one night in church to testify.  My brother stood up on the pew beside her and begin to strip off his clothing.  Not sure how undressed he got before my mom glanced down and realized what he was doing.

[Backseat Radio]

another one I thought of just as I hit post...

My mom and dad used to teach the same sunday school class years ago.  That sunday they was doing the prodigal son.  Dad had built a pen in the classroom and arranged with a farmer friend of his to bring in a small pig for the lesson.  Well after sunday school they put the pig back into the back of the truck they was using to transport it and while they was getting other things ready to go the pig jump out of the back of the truck and started off down the road.    My mom was several months pregnant with my brother at the time but had to take off and chase that pig down the road and finally caught up with it.

[Mrs. Yosemite]

Everytime I come back and read this, it gets funnier!! There's no way this stuff could be made up. haha 

Ya'll just made me remember one that happened when I was about 17 .  I went to a youth camp and was staying in the girls dorms. There was this girl named Roxanne who acted very smart and rude to me the whole time. She actually told me she couldnt stand me. She was really upty and snooty. Most of us other girls who were staying in the dorms thought she was bossy and very conceited. You know how it is around other girls when youre a teenager.

I can't say I wasnt checking out the guys there myself, but I know some of the girls had their minds more on the boys than having church. Seemed like Roxanne figured all the guys there were just dying for her phone number or something.

One evening Roxanne comes twisting in wearing a very tight dress that had big buttons all the way down the back from the neck to the hem.  Somehow this dress managed to unbutton itself (I guess cause it was too tight). We were all asked to give a testimony.

When Roxanne stood up, her dress was open from her bra down to her thighs. I remember when she stood up, she was tugging on her dress. Her testimony began with a very loud tearful OMG!

She tried to sit down really quick, but her seat was folded up and she couldnt get it back down. (it was those fold in auditorium seats)  She took off to the bathroom almost in tears.

All I knew was, I was glad it wasnt me!  That's what happens when you're rude to people.

[Sis]

I remember a lady worshipping and praising and she lost her slip. She had been losing weight, so it fell right off, when she lifted her arms. LOL She was between the pews, though so only a few of us saw it happen and it's a good thing we were all women.