"Church Bulletin Bloopers"

[taco_harvell]

The following have all genuinely appeared in church bulletins!

* Next weekend's Fasting & Prayer Conference in Whitby includes all meals.

* Sunday morning sermon: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' Sunday evening sermon: 'Searching for Jesus.'

* Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale; it is a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

* Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

* Miss Charlene Mason sang, 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

* For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

* Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

* Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

* Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

* Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

* Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

* The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

* Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

* The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

* This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

* The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

* Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

* The school drama group will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church hall on Friday at 7PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

* Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

[Kloey]

Tehe hehe.  Cripplin' children is no easy feat, but with gracious hostility, I'm certain it can be accomplished.

[Geri]

BOL! I have seem some of these before, but they are so funny! I had to keep myself from laughing out loud at work. LOL