New Computer Viruses!

[taco_harvell]

Politically Correct virus
Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself
as an "electronic microorganism."

Government Economist virus
Your diagnostic software says everything is fine, but
nothing works.

Federal Bureaucrat virus
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each
of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim
to be the most important part of your computer.

Texas virus
Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

Adam and Eve virus
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

Congressional virus #1
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a
message appearing on each half blaming the other side for
the problem.

Congressional virus #2
Runs every program on your computer simultaneously, but
doesn't let anybody accomplish anything.

Airline virus
You're in Dallas but your data is in Singapore.

Public Television virus
Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.

Elvis virus
Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs,
only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations.

Star Trek virus
Invades your system in places where no virus has gone
before.

Health Care virus
Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and
sends you a bill for $4,500.