When should a Guy Call?

[SippinTea]

*grin* There are several reasons I like you, Mr T. One of which is posts like that one.

Box of cracker jacks? The only gal I know that's small enough for that would be Mary.

[Scott]

I agree with a lot of what you said Scott, except for the part about a guy calling when he "gets the courage". I can't remember ever being afraid to call a woman on the phone.

Talking on the phone is a piece of cake.

I don't buy it.

99.9% of guys that really like a gal in a romantic way need to work up their courage to call that first time or two. I can remember so many times telling a friend, ''just call her''...   I've seen it too often.

*siiigh*

If I can give any dating advice here it is...

Girls: Some how, some way - if that guy appears interested and you are interested; don't play mind games with him. Don't be coy, just help the poor boy along and find a way to let him know you are interested. IF you are smart though, make him think it was his idea.

I remember a girl playing games with me once, she thought she was being funny and clever. I just gave up and moved on. Years later after we were both happily married to other people -  circumstances allowed us to bump into each other, she told me that her clever attempts at coyness and games didn't work. She apologized for the games.

One other thing: Guys cannot read your mind!  Do not assume they know what is wrong, do not assume they know where you want to go on a date, do not assume they know that you hate pizza but love Mexican food.  Give some input when on a date.  Don't be afraid to ask what they have in mind and to offer suggestions.  If a guy asks where you'd like to eat, consider his income  and always suggest something reasonable.

If it is an ongoing relationship: gals offer to pay for his meal once in a while.  I dated a gal once who chewed me out one night.  We usually went out to dinner 3 to 4 nights per week (Wed, Fri and Sun for sure - church nites) and like all macho cool 20th century males I paid. She told me that we both worked full time jobs, both had apartments to pay for, both had bills and what not. She said that from this day forward, we'd take turns paying. It was hard for my pride at first, but I later came to appreciate her wisdom in the matter.  We eventually grew apart when she backslid.  The neat thing is that after my wife and I got engaged, I visited her town, looked her up, invited her to church and prayed her back through to the Holy Ghost - after preaching that night.

Guys: Don't always look for the fashion model - go for the gal you connect with emotionally and mentally. 

If while dating someone, you cannot be yourself, if you cannot burp or talk about your hobbies. WRONG GIRL!

One of the most unhappy dating experiences I had was dating a gal who hated the things I liked.  I loved baseball - she hated it and let me know it .  I loved football, she hated it and boy o boy did she let me know about it. She didn't like my taste in music and if she caught me chewing gum - she ripped me.  God forbid that I spit it out in her presence.

Oh and meeting my family - sorry honey - we are hicks, hillbillies and rednecks.  We own guns, dogs, drive trucks and yes we have moonshiners in our family tree.  Yes  'Hey' means 'hi' and we will use down yonder, y'all, offer you a cold co-cola (pepsi or coke?). Beans and corn bread, black eyed peas and blackberry dumplings.    Yes that is a horse in my next door neighbors yard and that smaller thing is a goat.  Yes those are chickens and that is a sheep.  Um where are you going?

I had to dress up to meet her parents - on a Saturday afternoon no less. C'mon, doesn't everyone wear a suit a tie after umpiring two ball games? 

When I broke up with her, a great burden was lifted from my shoulders. That was the best phone call I ever made -

'Hi ''snob" (not her name) I just wanted to tell you that we are through, done, kaput, breaking up, over with, no longer dating, not seeing each other and it will be a cold snowy day in the sahara desert before I will ever think of dating you again.''

[RainbowJingles]

Wow.

As for "rules" on this topic and who made them:
Momma made 'em.  And her momma before her and so on back down the line to Eve (or Ma Bell, whichever had the phone first).

For the most part, I tend to not call guys unless it's strictly a platonic thing and/or I have a real reason to call (i.e. please meet me at the church early to help lift the tables), or if we got disconnected during the conversation.

As for when a guy "should" call...  whenever he wants to.  I like Scott's take on "whenever he gets the courage."  Makes me feel better about those guys who never called after the first date.  Musta just been chickens.  lol

[The Cold Water Kid]

I don't buy it.

Maybe not, but I'd buy some of those blackberry dumplings right about now. 

[Scott]

I don't buy it.

Maybe not, but I'd buy some of those blackberry dumplings right about now. 

hooo boy my mom makes the best

[Sis]

Have never tasted them. Sounds interesting, though.

[The Cold Water Kid]

They sell blackberries at some grocery stores now, you should try it.

I'm not a desserts person. I don't eat ice cream, pies, cakes, etc... but I seldom pass up a chance to have good blackberry cobbler. It's the perfect mix of tart and sweet... amazing stuff.

[Scott]

Have never tasted them. Sounds interesting, though.

Imagine chicken and dumplings without chicken or veggies, but the dumplings and blackberries and blackberry juice and hot with a dolop of vanilla ice cream.

[The Purple Fuzzy]

I've had peach dumplings that my grandma used to make me.  They were wonderful, so I can see how the blackberry ones could be good, too.

[SippinTea]

*suddenly wants a blackberry dumpling*

[(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude]

That sounds good, but I am craving some Sweet Potato pie... or some Pecan Pie... or Mom's Apple Crisp... or Peach Cobbler A la mode... lol

[RainbowJingles]

So typical GP!  I think we're finally going to get a thread that will give some helpful advice, and it turns into a thread about FOOD.

[The Cold Water Kid]

True, dat. From my observation, it's a pride issue. They're afraid of hearing "no" because it's a blow to their ego/self-esteem/whatever-you-want-to-call-it. In my opinion, this is one of those things that sets the men apart from the boys.

You ladies might be surprised to hear this, but not all guys are chest-butting meat-heads. Some are quite sensitive and can get their feelings hurt pretty easily. Why do we have the double standard that says if a woman is hurt by rejection it's OK to feel sorry for her but if a guy is hurt by rejection he's just prideful? Does it trace its roots back to the whole "real men don't cry" nonsense that we Apostolics know is a bunch of bologna (no offense to any of you bologna lovers out there - you know who you are  )? Rejection is at least as painful for men as it is for women.

[(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude]

I am heartily offended...! 

I love lebanon bologna... it was as much a part of growing up in PA as Birch Beer (for all you who have no idea what that is, it is similar to Root Beer, or Sarsaparilla... only better!)... regular bologna tastes horrible... ahh... But Lebanon Bologna... good for the heart, mind and soul!  The north's soul food!  lol, jk

We now return you to your normal scheduled conversation...
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Really?

Not all men are chest-butting ( or beating...lol)-meat-heads...?

I have heard of this... this thing called Male sensitivity... and although it may be thought to be on the endangered species list... there are guys like that out there!  :grin:

[RainbowJingles]

So...  let's put this to the test.  A gentleman gave me his business card yesterday while I was at the playground on date night.

Since I don't tend to call guys, I gave him my card as well.  How long will it take for him to call me?

And do you think the company that I was keeping was offended that I gave the guy my card?

[TheGirl]

aww.. cute ..men have feelings to. .jk I know this.

Has anyone ever read the poem "The love song of J. Alfred Prufrock"?  For anyone who hasn't its about a man who goes to some type of event, a party, dinner something and basically has this conversation in his head all night dealing with his fear of rejection. He even pondered talking to a girl and said something to the effect of "do I dare disturb the universe" . . wow.. its really not that big of a deal!

[RainbowJingles]

lol  Depends on whose head it's in, TG!

[TheGirl]

I suppose