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Dinner Date...

Started by (R.I.P.) YooperYankDude, April 13, 2010, 09:08:47 PM

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You are being set up to go on a dinner "date" after a church service with mutual friends, should you assume interest on the other single persons part?  Even if the guy has not asked the lady himself? Should she be miffed he hasnt contacted her?

Yes... what a punk..
0 (0%)
No... he's nervous...
0 (0%)
Maybe...
2 (18.2%)
Give the guy a break...
3 (27.3%)
She should send him a note asking if this is a real date?
1 (9.1%)
they should go stargazing after dinner!
1 (9.1%)
forget dinner...
0 (0%)
throw him in the volcano...
3 (27.3%)
Stargazing first... then out to breakfast...
1 (9.1%)

Total Members Voted: 11

Voting closed: April 28, 2010, 09:08:47 PM

(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude

This gal is wondering why he hasn't asked her about dinner himself...

How should she feel, and how should she respond to the mediocre advances of a possible would be prince charming... but at the moment is kinda not being one...

Should she send him a message, and if so... what message...


I was contracted to do this for a friend... who shall remain completely anonymous...  please dont try to figure out who she is... LOL   :laughhard:

I know there is more options than the one's I posted... and definitely more opinions... lol

This person is supposed to have this dinner in like 17 days... but she needs to know what she should do, or if she should do anything at all...

Have fun...  :biglaugh:


Feed The Bachelors 2010

RainbowJingles

Has she accepted yet?

Has the guy shown interest in her before?

Is it a blind date?

Does the poor guy know they are being set up on this near-date-encounter?


Newsman


Newsman

Honestly, Sir Yoop, I think the scenario is too open to give a full opinion on.


John  :waving:

(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude

Good questions Elona.. and good observation John...

Let's see if I can shed some more light on the situation...

- They both live in the same state about 4 hrs away from each other. Lets call him Dan and her Jill...

- They are both in church, and he goes to church with their mutual friends ( named Roger and Silvia...).

- They have met once before in a similar situation, but Jill was with someone who had some potential, so they did not get very well acquainted the first time, which was a 2 months ago.

- Roger is the one who told Jill that Dan was interested in having dinner with her, with Roger and Silvia accompanying.

- Dan and Jill are friends on facebook.

- Jill is concerned because Dan has not asked her anything directly about dinner, and is curious if it is really just Roger and Silvia playing matchmaker...

- Jill is also disappointed that Dan has not asked her, thinking that they are not middle schooler passing a note of "Do you like me? circle yes or no" .

- Jill is confused as to whether say something to Dan about this, or say nothing and just let it slide... or whether to refuse this possible date because Dan has not actually asked her on a date...

- Thomas... (me) simply is a bystander in this, and simply wants his friends to be happy...  :biglaugh:

- Thomas also does not have a ton of experience with blind dates, and personally thinks if the guy is interested, he should pipe up before someone else decides to go after the girl he likes...

- Thomas also thinks that guys who don't have enough guts to speak up and make his intentions known to a gal, have no reason to be miffed, irritated, hurt, upset, rude or bewildered when someone else that does have the guts to speak up to her does, and she takes an interest in the guy!


- So does that shed anymore light on the subject???     :biglaugh:


Feed The Bachelors 2010

The Purple Fuzzy


RainbowJingles

:o

Wow.  Sounds like a complicated situation.  lol

I'm going to have to study this scenario and come back to it before I vote.

Poor girl.

Poor guy.

Wow.

lol

(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude

Poor Guy???

Come on... Pullleeaaasseee

If a guy doesn't have what it takes to ask a girl out... she is better off without him!

The worse she can say is no... and she is already on the brink of saying yes.

And even if she says "No thanks", at least he tried... and can say he actually tried.

well... I could rant more... but wont for the moment...

come on folks... vote and post... simple concept...  :laughhard:


Feed The Bachelors 2010

RainbowJingles

Maybe she should just stay home from church that night.

RainbowJingles

Of course, that's more than a bit cowardly.

Why doesn't he just call her up and ask her out?  Do you have the answer to that question??

Do you know the guy, too?

(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude

Quote from: RainbowJingles on April 14, 2010, 12:36:02 AM
Of course, that's more than a bit cowardly.

Why doesn't he just call her up and ask her out?  Do you have the answer to that question??

Do you know the guy, too?

Nah... she should go to church anyhow...

My thought is the guy either doesn't really like her, or has no spine... or is just afraid of commitment... either of the latter are good reason for her to steer clear of him.

Nope... dont know him... if I did... my advice would to be ask her himself... it could be the beginning of something beautiful... but if he waits too long, she could get snagged by someone else!

God has a perfect will, but when the door opens, we have to make our legs walk through it...   :updown:








Feed The Bachelors 2010

The Purple Fuzzy


nicolejoy

Maybe Dan just doesn't know Jill well enough to know if he's interested or not. I think that Jill should treat dinner as a chance to get to know him a bit better and then worry from THERE whether or not he "likes" her or not. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. But I think the purpose of THIS dinner is for them to find out if they MIGHT be interested, and then go from there. If Dan DOES like her, then he can contact her AFTER the dinner - it's all his responsibility from there!!

(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude

Good thought...   :lol:

An excellent point on whether knowing each other enough...

Dating is definitely different than going on a date...


Feed The Bachelors 2010

upcchris

#14
I didn't vote, because I'm not sure which option to choose. If Dan really did say to Roger that he'd like to go out to dinner with Jill, then one of Jill's first questions would probably be: why didn't you just ask me yourself? Then again....while fear is often used as a cop out...it's still an enormous deterrant to pursuing a relationship...on the one hand it makes Dan look a bit like he's erring on the side of caution...on the other hand I think I know where he's coming from; no one likes being rejected or even the idea of rejection...on someone else's hand, it could really just be Roger and Silvia playing matchmaker, even though Roger told Jill Dan wanted to have dinner with her...but that's a potentially explosive situation which would come to light (and possibly explode) at dinner. I suppose a pertinent question would be: Is Jill interested in Dan?

Personally I've experienced the whole: 'my friend likes you' and because I've been teased like that before, I always think the two blokes are having a go at me, so my response is always: 'then he can tell me that himself.' Or something to that effect, because otherwise I'd say 'pull the other one, it's got bells on.'
Television is proof the people will look at anything rather than eachother

Life would be so much easier without hormones

Of all God's creations, humans are the only ones with enough imagination to be bored

Humans are fallible, and they unreasonably expect everyone else not to be

Tina~Chris

(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude

Wow... that is a lot of if's... lol

Maybe Jill will pipe in at sometime... so that I don't feel like the spokesman forever... lol.

According to Jill, they met casually.

She would be excited about a date with Dan.

She would like to get to know Dan better... and dinner would work.

Agreed that if sparks flew at dinner... The ball would be in Dan's court...

I think Jill is just wondering if something needs to be clarified about this dinner, and confused as to why Dan didn't mention it himself...

I am not much on Matchmakers... lol...   :grin:


Feed The Bachelors 2010

nicolejoy

Jill shouldn't think so much ;) And just let whatever happen that will happen.

When I first met my hubby, it was at my best friend's bday party. We were sitting opposite each other and talked a bit, but sparks didn't really fly. I did like him as a person but never thought about him "like that".

The following week, we had a church event that we both were at and we chatted a bit then. After that, he asked a mutual friend for my phone number and SMSed to say "nice seeing you again". I didn't really think anything of it.

We smsed/emailed a bit for a couple of weeks, never talked on the phone though. We met up a few times, but I didn't think much of it. I was just enjoying his company.

Everyone else thought that we were "together" before we actually were because we were spending a lot of time together. But when we started officially "dating" it was a natural progression of our friendship rather than something awkward and confusing...

I do think that it's "best" to just relax and go with the flow. Either it happens or it doesn't. But there's no point stressing about it... just see what happens :)

SippinTea

This thread makes me laugh.

Yoop, you've got some great posts there. I like the way you think. :thumbsup2:

*ponders voting options*
*realizes there is only one option available for a true Stargazer* :biglaugh:

:beret:
"Not everything that is of God is easy." -Elona

"When you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything." -F. Chan

"A real live hug anytime you want it is priceless." -Rachel

RainbowJingles

:spitlaugh: Ruby  I wonder who voted for the stargazing option?  rofl

Ya know, the more I think about it, the more I realize I like *MY* men strong.  Not necessarily the muscular kind of strong, but more of a self-confident kind of strong.  I like a man who makes an effort to find out about me...  a man who lets it be known he is interested in me (if he IS, of course)...

I can't blame her for the whole "middle school" feeling she's got going on.

But on the flipside, maybe she DOES need to lighten up a bit, in accordance with what Nic had to say.

But on the OTHER flipside, maybe she needs to just throw him in the volcano if he actually DOES want to go on a date with her but doesn't even have the courage to call her to talk.

P.S.  Every time I see this part, I just laugh for some reason.  lol
Quotehow should she respond to the mediocre advances of a possible would be prince charming

And I like the way Yoop thinks, too, Ruby.

Methinks that the *cough* "poor guy" (don't deck me, Yoop) should just pick up the phone already and cut out the middle man.  And the girl should do what Chris is suggesting: tell the middle man to give the guy Jill's direct means of communication (i.e. how to get in touch with her by phone, email, smoke signals, etc.)

SippinTea

I got REALLY sick of the "middle school" games going on in the past decade or so.

"He thinks you're cute."
"He thought about asking you out, but... *insert excuse here*..."
"He thinks you're too good for him."
"He likes you"

CHICKEN!!! Ask her out, alright-already!!!

Here's my simplistic (and blunt) view...
If he's not man enough to call/text/ask her out/send smoke signals *grin* and DO something, then he's not man enough for her to date anyhow. What woman wants a man who is too intimidated/scared/not-confident enough to ask her out? If he can't even do a small thing like that, than why should she believe he's man enough to make decisions for a family? Why should she believe he has confidence to slay dragons, if he can't even face HER long enough to ask a simple question? It's not an earth-shattering question like "will you marry me?"... it's a simple coffee/lunch/dinner/whatever. It's a way to get to know her. And it's extremely childish to use 3rd parties and roundabout questions.

There you have it, Yoop. The blunt two cents from the Ice Maiden. ;)

:beret:
"Not everything that is of God is easy." -Elona

"When you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything." -F. Chan

"A real live hug anytime you want it is priceless." -Rachel

nicolejoy

MAYBE Dan just mentioned to the other dude (I forget his name) that maybe they could do a "double date" kind of thing, just in passing, and then other dude took it from there. I don't think that makes Dan unmanly. Give him a chance - and if he wants it, he can make the move. But at the moment he probably doesn't even know if he wants it or not. Let it play out and then let poor Dan take it from there, AFTER the dinner. I feel sorry for the guy ;) (I voted "give him a break" ;) )

RainbowJingles

Quote from: SippinTea on April 14, 2010, 07:05:28 AM
Why should she believe he has confidence to slay dragons, if he can't even face HER long enough to ask a simple question?

And it's extremely childish to use 3rd parties and roundabout questions.

Yeah.

What she said.

On both counts.

RainbowJingles

*reads Nic's post*
*ponders*
Good thing the poor guy has at least ONE advocate.  Maybe Jill will give him a chance after all (if she hasn't already decided to send the "check one" note back and say "yes").  lol

I still haven't voted yet.  I like the volcano option, but I'm back and forth between that and the stargazing option, being a stargazer, myself and all.  lol

Then again, if I keep reading Nic's posts, I may have to grudgingly vote to give him a break.  Maybe it's all about an overeager matchmaker who hasn't given the guy a chance to do anything.

SippinTea

"Not everything that is of God is easy." -Elona

"When you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything." -F. Chan

"A real live hug anytime you want it is priceless." -Rachel

Newsman

This thread has given me a couple of ideas...

The least potentially disastrous of which is to point out there should have been the option of going Stargazing _first_...THEN out to dinner (or breakfast)  :hypocrite:


John  :waving: