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What makes a good date?

Started by (R.I.P.) YooperYankDude, February 15, 2010, 08:49:42 PM

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(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude

K... so we have the thread on should a guy ask a girl out... well when he asks her out, what makes a good date?

Are there certain things that girl expect a guy to do or say when on a date for the first time versus all subsequent dates...?

Are there certain things that guys expect a gal to do or say when on a date for the first time versus all subsequent dates...?

Are there specific elements that can be included to make any date "GREAT"?

Where is the best place to go out on a date? Restaurant? Sports Emporium? Zoo? Concert? Go karts? Or any other place...

Should the guy ask the girls dad and mom before he asks the girl out?


***I have looked through a bunch of the threads and didn't find any that specifically talked about this... maybe I missed it... if so...  :pound: me!  :biglaugh:


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SippinTea

I highly recommend stargazing. :hypocrite:

Hush, all you Stargazers. Just hush. :lol:

:beret:
"Not everything that is of God is easy." -Elona

"When you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything." -F. Chan

"A real live hug anytime you want it is priceless." -Rachel

Sis

A lot of the time, it's not the place as much as it is the company. It's someone who can make you laugh and feel good about yourself at the end of the date.


Amelia Bedelia

LOL it all depends on the person and the weather and the area and dozens of other factors.

General rules and concepts:

First date when you don't know the person terribly well:
1. CASUAL - formal events and restaurants tend to make a person nervous even when they aren't on a first date

2. Avoid the sit down restaurant scenario as a starter - staring across the table at a mostly stranger and inventing conversation is painful for all involved - do something and then grab coffee or go to a nice cafe that you have the flexibility of leaving when you're done or hanging around but not subject to a waiter bringing you a check.  If its not working or starting to wane you do not want to be captive and want the flexibility to change the atmosphere quick

3. Do something thats side-by-side rather than face-to-face (like restaurants) - mini golf, bowling, zoo, art gallery - something mildly active where you'll interact but not have to be your own entertainment.  Avoid movies and loud indoor concerts because you can't interact without being a jerk to everyone else in the theater or you won't hear over the music - however outdoor lowkey music performances at a park are GREAT, pack a picnic (bring bug repellent for her) maybe a frisbee and you're golden

4. Ending the evening early while things are good is better than dragging it out and risk ending on the wrong note... leave them and you wanting to truly "do this again sometime"

General great date traits:
Great dates pay attention - if the girl hates chain restaurants, do not go to Applebys for goodness sake!

Great dates do not let nervousness make them annoying - its cute to be nervous, its not cute to get weird because of it

Great dates breathe and do not try to control everything - Instead of overplanning ideas on how to impress her and completely missing the boat, leave it a little open for her input - telling a girl she's going here, there, and then over here and this, this and this is happening tonight - there won't be many dates after that, she'll feel like she's getting dragged along on show and tell and supposed to like it

Great dates do not fawn - a sincere compliment at the beginning of the evening and one at the end will suffice.  The rest of the time get to know her, not worship her. 

Great dates give compliments that show they pay attention - "You look lovely, thats a good color on you and accents your <eyes> <hair> <whatever>" is much better than "You look nice."  Only say it if its true!

Great dates are real and understand that you're both going to only marry one person but can be friends with the rest - focus on the friend part and don't subject them to a litmus test for marriage.  Be encouraging and accepting of who they are and enjoy the time together


Asking a mom or dad... um maybe if she's still in highschool?  Or if you're already well acquainted with the family and wanting to take it to another level then it might behoove you to get dear old dad to feel things out for you ahead of time anyway.  Otherwise if she's an adult professional woman I'd leave her parents out of it until she wants them involved.

(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude

Wow... that was a great well thought out response... lol.

I have never really had a "date" even though i have dated... lol. Not in church at least... things were much different in HS than they are now.

Quote
Great dates give compliments that show they pay attention - "You look lovely, thats a good color on you and accents your <eyes> <hair> <whatever>" is much better than "You look nice."  Only say it if its true!

Funny story time... lol

Once I was out with a bunch of young singles, and it was guys on one side of the table, and girls on the other.

There was a gal that I was sitting across from that I really was interested in, and my buddy was interested in one of my friends, so we four were kinda having our own chat.

My friend, *Lucy* (changing names to protect the innocent) was saying how guys never notice certain things about girls, My friend *Bill* and I were in denial of it, so she decided to prove it...

She asked Bill what color her eyes were, and he replied brown, and they were brown, so he got major brownie points. When *Liz* asked me what color hers were, I realized I hadn't a clue and guess Blue. I guessed right... lol. She nodded approvingly, and then Lucy asked Bill what color shoes she was wearing, and he immediately said black.

I sat in awe, cause I hadn't even noticed... and again, more brownie points for Bill... and then he went on to compliment her on how they matched her dress.

Then Liz asked me, and I again had no clue, but her dress "looked" purple, so I said "purple"... she was like "purple? "Why on earth would I have on purple shoes...?" I replied, "because your lovely dress is purple and yellow... and she got mad, and replied that "her dress was not purple and yellow, it was blue and yellow, and she had made it herself."

Well, things just went downhill from there... everyone had a good laugh about it, and I decided to go take pictures of a local tornado for a while. Needless to say, I never saw or heard from that one ever again... lol... just as well... lol.


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RainbowJingles

Ruby:  Any particular reason?  :freaky2:  lol

Let's see...  Good date...  Well, I have done some research, and found that the "Medjool Date is considered to be the very finest date grown in the world."   They were "grown exclusively for royalty in ancient times."
http://www.dateland.com/

As to what makes a good date...  that's up to the individual's taste.  ;)  Mejdool dates, anyone?  ;)

lol

I have to agree with the fact that if it's the right person (or simply not the total wrong person) it doesn't matter quite as much what you do.  Truly good dates definitely hinge upon the fact that the two of you get along well.  After you know you get along well, then good dates hinge on finding something that you BOTH enjoy...  which requires getting to know the other person and asking lots of questions and just spending time talking.

Where can you just talk?
Group dates
Eating out after church
Church (especially if you're both involved in a project or ministry together)
On the phone
At her house (bonus points for getting to know the parents)

One thing to note is that taking a girl to an amusement park may be awesome, but if the carousel makes her nauseated and she prefers to go to the zoo, Six Flags is likely not the best option.
On the other hand, if she has asthma or severe allergies, she's probably going to choose the amusement park over the zoo.

I'd choose the amusement park anyday...  of course, that's all based on the whole thing of enjoying his company well enough to want to spend a full day with him.

I'm with Mary on the side-by-side thing.  Find something to focus on besides simply one another.  Mini golf and bowling are good, as are many other fun things.  Feeding ducks at a pond...  walking on he beach...  flying a kite...

Do things that you BOTH enjoy.

Group outings are invaluable, in my opinion, as they allow time for you to see how this person interacts with others.  He/she may be a jewel to you, but treat others like inferior creatures.  It's a great thing to see their treatment of people other than you.

Okay...  it's late.  I'm sure I'll think of more later.

(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude

Another great reply... LOL...

The Zoo is something I think would be good. Unless the person is like me, and gets all wrapped up in photographing the animals... lol... then there would little communication. But I am a quality time guy... just having someone there with me, is enough to make me happy...


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Babs

maybe its just because i am old people, but to me the best date i have had with Jim was just him coming by and us sitting on the porch for awhile, then taking a walk down the street. i love that he can just give himself and his time. big dinners out and stuff really dont impress me if you cant sit and just be with me.
Religion is worthless until it is able to move outside the walls.

My latest blog post.

upcchris

First date? something really low-key and non-threatening. Leave the flowers for her birthday or Val's day if you're both still together then. I've suggested bowling or laser skirmish and McDs, in another thread, as a good, non-threatening idea...although it depends how much of a competitive streak you have.

Walks on the beach? Theatre maybe? Maybe not, if you want to converse...picnic lunch is always good...depending on the weather....and...maybe that's more of a second or third date idea. Find a common interest...if it's Anime/Sci Fi, there may be conventions coming up...if its SCA, there may be tournaments or Medieval/Renn  Faires coming up...etc...find out what you both like to do and what you both like and dislike....and for pity sake don't compromise and do someting neither of yu want to do....but be flexible.
Television is proof the people will look at anything rather than eachother

Life would be so much easier without hormones

Of all God's creations, humans are the only ones with enough imagination to be bored

Humans are fallible, and they unreasonably expect everyone else not to be

Tina~Chris

Heather

bowling. zoo [my favorite idea thus far]. [if it's not pouring buckets of snow from heaven] mini golf. coffee shop. church functions. hiking is also a favorite of mine or just milling around a park.

just make sure that if it's something with keeping a score [bowling, etc], don't be a bad sport when she whoops your hind end. [yes this has happened to me. i can't help the fact i come from a long line of awesome bowlers]

sitting across the table from each other in a nicer restraunt can be mucho intimadating. it's hard to hold a steady convo and worry about food stuck in your teeth. and that's one of those situations where you feel like you HAVE to keep a convo going or you're just sitting staring at each other. no fun in that!
Keep it simple. Just love Jesus. -Sister Ali

sunlight

Quote from: SippinTea on February 15, 2010, 09:51:17 PM
I highly recommend stargazing. :hypocrite:

Hush, all you Stargazers. Just hush. :lol:

:beret:

:laughhard: I bet you do Urby... I bet you do... :laughat:
  :attackhug: Be full of hugs!

SippinTea

Elona - maybe. :hypocrite:

Hush, Chel. *tries to glare, but can't quite succeed*

Quote from: Just Plain Ole Barb on February 16, 2010, 12:47:19 PM
maybe its just because i am old people, but to me the best date i have had with Jim was just him coming by and us sitting on the porch for awhile, then taking a walk down the street. i love that he can just give himself and his time. big dinners out and stuff really dont impress me if you cant sit and just be with me.

Then I must be old, too. *smile* One of my favorite times with Chris was when we went for a walk by the river, and stopped by a coffee shop on the way home.

:beret:
"Not everything that is of God is easy." -Elona

"When you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything." -F. Chan

"A real live hug anytime you want it is priceless." -Rachel

(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude

Quote from: SippinTea on February 16, 2010, 03:14:59 PM
Elona - maybe. :hypocrite:

Hush, Chel. *tries to glare, but can't quite succeed*

Quote from: Just Plain Ole Barb on February 16, 2010, 12:47:19 PM
maybe its just because i am old people, but to me the best date i have had with Jim was just him coming by and us sitting on the porch for awhile, then taking a walk down the street. i love that he can just give himself and his time. big dinners out and stuff really dont impress me if you cant sit and just be with me.

Then I must be old, too. *smile* One of my favorite times with Chris was when we went for a walk by the river, and stopped by a coffee shop on the way home.

:beret:

That sounds like a fun time... simple, yet nice...


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Newsman

Hmmm...

*reaches back into his memories..*


John :bustamove:

Quote from: SippinTea on February 15, 2010, 09:51:17 PM
I highly recommend stargazing. :hypocrite:

Hush, all you Stargazers. Just hush. :lol:

:beret:

nwlife

So john is thinking of places to take girls dancing? ???
Only through faith in the Grace of God through Jesus Christ am I saved. No other means and no other actions changes the predestination of my soul.

UPDATE:  I finally did find my wife.  Just waiting now to bring her to the USA!

Newsman

Lady Chris,

  From the first graph, I had already thought of making the joke about 'Val's day" like I did on a mediervalist forum where there is an SCA event they call 'Val's Day." A couple of you may remember my SCA and medieval reenactment name is 'Valstarr Hawkwind" and it is commonly shortened to 'Val" on a large website for medievalists, and some SCAers who have met me.

  THEN I saw you mention the SCA itself..if I may ask, have you attended any SCA or other medieval reenactments, Lady Chris? We have a fair number of Australians in the SCA, and on the medievalist forum I'm part of.

Val...err, John :bustamove:

Quote from: upcchris on February 16, 2010, 12:54:51 PM
First date? something really low-key and non-threatening. Leave the flowers for her birthday or Val's day if you're both still together then. I've suggested bowling or laser skirmish and McDs, in another thread, as a good, non-threatening idea...although it depends how much of a competitive streak you have.

Walks on the beach? Theatre maybe? Maybe not, if you want to converse...picnic lunch is always good...depending on the weather....and...maybe that's more of a second or third date idea. Find a common interest...if it's Anime/Sci Fi, there may be conventions coming up...if its SCA, there may be tournaments or Medieval/Renn  Faires coming up...etc...find out what you both like to do and what you both like and dislike....and for pity sake don't compromise and do someting neither of yu want to do....but be flexible.

Newsman


Sis

Quote from: YooperYankDude on February 16, 2010, 12:14:36 PM
Another great reply... LOL...

The Zoo is something I think would be good. Unless the person is like me, and gets all wrapped up in photographing the animals... lol... then there would little communication. But I am a quality time guy... just having someone there with me, is enough to make me happy...

OOOOOOOOO!  We'd get along so well. I'd enjoy taking pics and I really love to look at other's pictures. Too bad my husband won't let me date anymore. Hee hee!


upcchris

Quote from: Newsman on February 16, 2010, 06:32:57 PM
Lady Chris,

  From the first graph, I had already thought of making the joke about 'Val's day" like I did on a mediervalist forum where there is an SCA event they call 'Val's Day." A couple of you may remember my SCA and medieval reenactment name is 'Valstarr Hawkwind" and it is commonly shortened to 'Val" on a large website for medievalists, and some SCAers who have met me.

  THEN I saw you mention the SCA itself..if I may ask, have you attended any SCA or other medieval reenactments, Lady Chris? We have a fair number of Australians in the SCA, and on the medievalist forum I'm part of.

Val...err, John :bustamove:

Quote from: upcchris on February 16, 2010, 12:54:51 PM
First date? something really low-key and non-threatening. Leave the flowers for her birthday or Val's day if you're both still together then. I've suggested bowling or laser skirmish and McDs, in another thread, as a good, non-threatening idea...although it depends how much of a competitive streak you have.

Walks on the beach? Theatre maybe? Maybe not, if you want to converse...picnic lunch is always good...depending on the weather....and...maybe that's more of a second or third date idea. Find a common interest...if it's Anime/Sci Fi, there may be conventions coming up...if its SCA, there may be tournaments or Medieval/Renn  Faires coming up...etc...find out what you both like to do and what you both like and dislike....and for pity sake don't compromise and do someting neither of yu want to do....but be flexible.

LOL. Actually, Sir John, I looked up the Australian branch. I've always wanted to join, but reluctant to do so by myself. Two are better than one and all that, my main reason for not wanting to sign up by myself, though, would probably be because I'd need transport to the events and meetings.
Television is proof the people will look at anything rather than eachother

Life would be so much easier without hormones

Of all God's creations, humans are the only ones with enough imagination to be bored

Humans are fallible, and they unreasonably expect everyone else not to be

Tina~Chris

nwlife

Quote from: Sis on February 16, 2010, 09:14:01 PM
Quote from: YooperYankDude on February 16, 2010, 12:14:36 PM
Another great reply... LOL...

The Zoo is something I think would be good. Unless the person is like me, and gets all wrapped up in photographing the animals... lol... then there would little communication. But I am a quality time guy... just having someone there with me, is enough to make me happy...

OOOOOOOOO!  We'd get along so well. I'd enjoy taking pics and I really love to look at other's pictures. Too bad my husband won't let me date anymore. Hee hee!

But you might make a good chaperone!
Only through faith in the Grace of God through Jesus Christ am I saved. No other means and no other actions changes the predestination of my soul.

UPDATE:  I finally did find my wife.  Just waiting now to bring her to the USA!

RainbowJingles

My aunt and uncle got to know one another while they were joint chaperones on my parents' dates!

(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude

Quote from: Sis on February 16, 2010, 09:14:01 PM
Quote from: YooperYankDude on February 16, 2010, 12:14:36 PM
Another great reply... LOL...

The Zoo is something I think would be good. Unless the person is like me, and gets all wrapped up in photographing the animals... lol... then there would little communication. But I am a quality time guy... just having someone there with me, is enough to make me happy...

OOOOOOOOO!  We'd get along so well. I'd enjoy taking pics and I really love to look at other's pictures. Too bad my husband won't let me date anymore. Hee hee!

LOL... you should bring him along... promise I wont make ya'll feel like chaperon's... and of course for there to be chaperon's there'd have to be a reason to have them, and at this point in time, I know of no reason to have one... lol... unless someone somewhere knows something I don't... LOL

Unless you count the numerous lions, and tigers, and squirrels that seem to take a liking to me... got a few stories about that... maybe later. lol


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sunlight

  :attackhug: Be full of hugs!

(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude

Quote from: sunlight on February 16, 2010, 11:54:40 PM
Any dragons?

Well... haven't met any dragons at the zoo yet... but I do know I have never met or talked to a dragon I didnt like talking to... as long as they don't breathe their fire breath on me when at the zoo, it'll be fine... :biglaugh:

And as long as they don't mind me flying around with them, I find them dinner... there's lots of cows and wild deer here in Wisconsin...


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Sis

This is getting scary!  :scared:  Are you sure you're not a member of my family? LOL  We're thinking a lot alike again. I'll be thinking something to reply to you, and you will have already said  it by the end of your post!  :scared:

We could chaperon the monkeys. Protect them from you?  and your prying camera? LOL  You could come to visit G-ma, and we all could go to the National zoo, which I haven't seen yet.  Didn't want to until we got our new camera.

There was a girl in UPCI.com/ws who used to call me dragon lady.   

You can meet some of the past posters here........ LOL ................ http://phylbert.homestead.com/Godplace.html