Ask Mr Minnesota

[sunlight]

What day do you remember the most from your past?

Why is it some people seem so infatuated with [insert word here] for a while, but after the first while, there is a sudden turning point, and they see the whole picture/person/thing/idea/noun/adjective finally?

What is your favorite drink?

What happens if you become cynical, and wait till after that first month to decide, or even say anything about your opinion on [insert word here]?

Any guitar updates yet?

Do you have to be willing to give it up before you get the promise?

when can i come see you guys again?

Is it really a bribe if you dont know that you were bribing someone in the first place, or if you dont even know about it till a year later? :grin:

do you eat m&m's or skittles more?

What was on your list of things you wanted in a wife?

[mini]

What day do you remember the most from your past?

In my small pool of memories, a few days stand out.

The first time I saw Michel.  It seemed like my eyes locked on her, and I thought "Wow!"  I wanted to talk to her, but trust me, I was a poster child for super ugly.  Imagine Quasimodo really gets to marry Esmeralda...

The first time I did talk to Michel.  And I got her phone number!

Our wedding.

The birth of my children.  Until that point, I had very little to do with children.  Absolutely changed my life.  Have you ever held a newborn, only seconds old?  Brionna grabbed ahold of my finger, and just...stared.  Words do not do justice the range of emotions that went through me.  Those small eyes, perfect child, looking at me.  I bawled.

The days that I hear "Daddy will you..." play, read, ect.  I wish I was a better parent.  I wish I could soak all this in and put myself aside more so I could make their childhood better.  I've noticed something, if you will allow me to use a analogy.  You go to a car show, and see a beautiful car, perfect in every way.  The owner can see every flaw, while you cant.  Sometimes, I'm like the owner.  I see my kids mess up, I see them get in trouble.  I continually have to work to keep them good kids.  I hope I can forget about all the work long enough to enjoy them, and the same goes for the rest of you too.

Why is it some people seem so infatuated with [insert word here] for a while, but after the first while, there is a sudden turning point, and they see the whole picture/person/thing/idea/noun/adjective finally?

Experience.  Lets assume that the inserted word is a guy...I will give you a quick rule of thumb.  If yo' daddy don't like him, kick the guy to the curb.  If yo' momma don't like him, kick him to the curb.

Although you are a very wise young lady, you must remember that you do not have as many life experiences as they do.  Out of those life experiences comes wisdom.  Out of wisdom comes a judge of character.  Have a honest enough relationship with your parents that they can give their opinion honestly of whoever you date.

What is your favorite drink?

Dr. Pepper.  Followed by water (plain) and Iced Sweet Tea.

What happens if you become cynical, and wait till after that first month to decide, or even say anything about your opinion on [insert word here]?

You may have missed your chance.  What is the situation?  Does it involve you?  Is it someone else?

If it involves you, ask yourself does it effect your walk with God?  If so, quit poking around.  Eternal life is more important than friendship.

If its someone else, and they have placed themselves in submission to you, then speak up.  If not, then pray that God opens their eyes before its to late.  Or ask God for a open door and honest heart to speak freedom into that situation.

Any guitar updates yet?

No...*sniff*

Do you have to be willing to give it up before you get the promise?

What promise are you waiting for?

when can i come see you guys again?

Call my wife, set up a date.  We can arrange a place for you to stay.  *grin*

Is it really a bribe if you dont know that you were bribing someone in the first place, or if you dont even know about it till a year later? :grin:

No.  I still haven't received my "payment."

do you eat m&m's or skittles more?

Skittles.  Favorite round candy of all time.  That is until I read "Grapes of Wrath" and realized that skittles meant...diarrhea.  Took me about 5 years to eat them again.

What was on your list of things you wanted in a wife?

I had a very long list of things that I thought I needed.

Play piano, sing, be Betty Crocker still bring in 100 grand a year, blah blah blah.  As a result, no gal fit.

Finally, I "threw the list away" and said God, whoever you want me to have..so be it.  And I got the perfect gal for me.

[sunlight]

Do you have to be willing to give it up before you get the promise?

What promise are you waiting for?

I am waiting on multiple promises. :grin:

The promise doesn't really seem to matter as much as the concept. It's come to play on multiple promises I have gotten. I could have prayed and prayed for a certain thing, and known that it was promised... But it also didn't seem to matter until I was able to give the promise back to God, and know that I would be able to give whatever it was that was promised to me, or entrusted to me, back to God... in one way or another. Let's see... not sure I can think of an explanation I am willing to share with the whole board. :grin: Some of the promises are pretty personal. lol.

And I will have to call you guys! I do want to come back up there and see yall!

and... so you didnt have a realistic list? I guess that is more of a gal thing?

[Newsman]

Jeremy,

   When are we going to destroy the buffet at the Pig Out Palace?


John 

[JoyGirl]

Why is it that corporate lay people off as "workforce reduction"...then they talk about needing to get someone in here to do their job??  

[mini]

Do you have to be willing to give it up before you get the promise?

What promise are you waiting for?

I am waiting on multiple promises. :grin:

The promise doesn't really seem to matter as much as the concept. It's come to play on multiple promises I have gotten. I could have prayed and prayed for a certain thing, and known that it was promised... But it also didn't seem to matter until I was able to give the promise back to God, and know that I would be able to give whatever it was that was promised to me, or entrusted to me, back to God... in one way or another. Let's see... not sure I can think of an explanation I am willing to share with the whole board. :grin: Some of the promises are pretty personal. lol.

Let me give you a personal example.  When I felt a call into the ministry, I ran from it.  Hard.

Later, I accepted the call, but it still was not mine.  It wasn't until I gave God control of the calling, and said its YOUR ministry, I am YOUR vessel that the call started to take me places.

I think its the same with a promise.  God may give you one, but until you give it back to him in trust, it may never unfold.

And I will have to call you guys! I do want to come back up there and see yall!

We can promise you a boring time!

and... so you didnt have a realistic list? I guess that is more of a gal thing?

No, I had a list, if only in my head.  It wasn't until I gave the list and the pen to God that I found who he wanted me to have.

[mini]

Jeremy,

   When are we going to destroy the buffet at the Pig Out Palace?


John 

Lead me not into temptation or gluttony.  *cough*

[mini]

Why is it that corporate lay people off as "workforce reduction"...then they talk about needing to get someone in here to do their job??   

Read Dilbert.

IMHO, Voodoo runs computers, women's minds, and corporate offices.

[Newsman]

Why is it that corporate lay people off as "workforce reduction"...then they talk about needing to get someone in here to do their job??   

Read Dilbert.

IMHO, Voodoo runs computers, women's minds, and corporate offices.

[mini]

Uhoh...I just got quoted...

[Tricia Lea]

What did you do interesting this summer?

[iridiscente]

Why do I always read this thread and laugh and cry both!

[sunlight]

What is your definition of boring?

[SippinTea]

When was the last time you took Michel stargazing? *grin*
When was the last time you rode your bike?

[mini]

I just realized I am way behind in responding.  Sorry....

What did you do interesting this summer?

I didn't do a whole lot "interesting" this past summer.  I think it started early...in March I got licensed with the UPCI for the first time.  The next day, it snowed...I think my Grandma was shouting.  *wipes a tear*  I really wish she could have been there, it would have made her proud.  She was the one responsible for bringing my lost mother into the church, and was a awesome lady.  But I digress...

At the same time my pastor was elected to serve as our district Sunday School superintendent.  Which meant....WORK!  During camp meeting, my wife and I helped out in our SS program at church camp, helped in the church cafe nightly, and nightly got in bed around midnight.  Anyone who knows me knows that if I am up past 9pm, i turn into a pumpkin....and not a lovable one at that.

After camp, we had the privilege of preaching a bit, once right down on the TX border.  Scared me to death, those TX people are strange.....and I was only about 2 miles away from TX.  You could almost feel the evil spirit.... *cough*

It seems as of late, its running 100mph every week.  But we are having a great time doing it!

Why do I always read this thread and laugh and cry both!

Because you have a split personality

What is your definition of boring?

Perhaps I can best illustrate the answer to this question with this story. (not my story, but read on)

I never dreamed slowly cruising through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous!

Studies have shown that motorcycling requires more decisions per second, and more sheer data processing than nearly any other common activity or sport. The reactions and accurate decision making abilities needed have been likened to the reactions of fighter pilots! The consequences of bad decisions or poor situational awareness are pretty much the same for both groups too.

Occasionally, as a rider I have caught myself starting to make bad or late decisions while riding. In flight training, my instructors called this being "behind the power curve". It is a mark of experience that when this begins to happen, the rider recognizes the situation, and more importantly, does something about it. A short break, a meal, or even a gas stop can set things right again as it gives the brain a chance to catch up.

Good, accurate, and timely decisions are essential when riding a motorcycle...at least if you want to remain among the living. In short, the brain needs to keep up with the machine.

I had been banging around the roads of east Texas and as I headed back into Dallas, found myself in very heavy, high-speed traffic on the freeways. Normally, this is not a problem, I commute in these conditions daily, but suddenly I was nearly run down by a cage that decided it needed my lane more than I did. This is not normally a big deal either, as it happens around here often, but usually I can accurately predict which drivers are not paying attention and avoid them before we are even close. This one I missed seeing until it was nearly too late, and as I took evasive action I nearly broadsided another car that I was not even aware was there!

Two bad decisions and insufficient situational awareness...all within seconds. I was behind the power curve. Time to get off the freeway.

I hit the next exit, and as I was in an area I knew pretty well, headed through a few big residential neighborhoods as a new route home. As I turned onto the nearly empty streets I opened the visor on my full-face helmet to help get some air. I figured some slow riding through the quiet surface streets would give me time to relax, think, and regain that "edge" so frequently required when riding.

Little did I suspect...

As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it—it was that close.

I hate to run over animals...and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely had time to brace for the impact.

Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels can take care of themselves!

Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing the oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his little beady eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leapt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, "Banzai!" or maybe, "Die you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!" as the leap was spectacular and he flew over the windshield and impacted me squarely in the chest.

Instantly he set upon me. If I did not know better I would have sworn he brought twenty of his little buddies along for the attack. Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light t-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage!

Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and leather gloves puttering maybe 25mph down a quiet residential street...and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing.

I grabbed for him with my left hand and managed to snag his tail. With all my strength I flung the evil rodent off the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw.

That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed home. No one would have been the wiser.

But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary mad squirrel.

This was an evil attack squirrel of death!

Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands, and with the force of the throw swung around and with a resounding thump and an amazing impact he landed square on my back and resumed his rather anti-social and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with him!

The situation was not improved. Not improved at all. His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him.

I was startled to say the least. The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one result. Torque. This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very good at it.

The engine roared as the front wheel left the pavement. The squirrel screamed in anger. The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy. I screamed in...well...I just plain screamed.

Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a slightly squirrel torn t-shirt, and only one leather glove roaring at maybe 70mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street...on one wheel and with a demonic squirrel on his back. The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder.

With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars and try to get control of the bike. This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I really did not want to crash into somebody's tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle...my brain was just simply overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little affect against the massive power of the big cruiser.

About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient attention to this very serious battle (maybe he is a Scottish attack squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got IN my full-face helmet with me. As the faceplate closed partway and he began hissing in my face I am quite sure my screaming changed tone and intensity. It seemed to have little affect on the squirrel however.

The rpm's on The Dragon maxed out (I was not concerned about shifting at the moment) and her front end started to drop.

Now picture the large man on the huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a very ragged torn t-shirt, and wearing one leather glove, roaring at probably 80mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel's tail sticking out his mostly closed full-face helmet. By now the screams are probably getting a little hoarse.

Finally I got the upper hand...I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This time it worked...sort-of. Spectacularly sort-of, so to speak.

Picture the scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some paperwork.

Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a torn t-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing one leather glove, moving at probably 80mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by and with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your police car.

I heard screams. They weren't mine...

I managed to get the big motorcycle under directional control and dropped the front wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign at a busy cross street.

I would have returned to fess up (and to get my glove back). I really would have. Really. But for two things. First, the cops did not seem interested or the slightest bit concerned about me at the moment. One of them was on his back in the front yard of the house they had been parked in front of and was rapidly crabbing backwards away from the patrol car. The other was standing in the street and was training a riot shotgun on the police cruiser.

So the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to "let the professionals handle it" anyway. That was one thing. The other? Well, I swear I could see the squirrel, standing in the back window of the patrol car among shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery, and shaking his little fist at me.

That is one dangerous squirrel. And now he has a patrol car...

I took a deep breath, turned on my turn-signal, made an easy right turn, and sedately left the neighborhood.

As for my easy and slow drive home? Forget it. Faced with a choice of 80mph cars and inattentive drivers, or the evil, demonic, attack squirrel of death...I'll take my chances with the freeway. Every time.

And I'll buy myself a new pair of gloves.

And that is the definition of not boring.  To figure out what boring is, its pretty much anything that is opposite of that.

When was the last time you took Michel stargazing? *grin*
When was the last time you rode your bike?

The answer to the first question is...nunya.... :grin:

The second question should be answered as follows:  Not recently.  I need to ride more, but I have a aversion to riding in cold weather.

[The Purple Fuzzy]

Oh Minnie.  I'm at work and I laughed till I cried at that story.  I'm glad most everyone else is occupied on a conference call.

[sunlight]

Are first impressions of people you meet really important? or is it more the consistancy (or lack of) that you should base the decision on?

Did you have a blankie when you were a little tyke?

What do you do when you have a decision you have to make in about a year, and multiple answers that could be correct?

What do you think it means when it talks about proving God, and how does that relate to testing God?

What should I get my dad for Christmas?

[mini]

Are first impressions of people you meet really important? or is it more the consistancy (or lack of) that you should base the decision on?

Yes, yes and yes.  I know some people say you cant judge a book by its cover, and others say first impressions are everything.  I trend toward the latter.  If you are prayed up and right spiritually, and feel a uneasy feeling when you are around someone new, it may be a discerning of spirits.  And those spirits are manifest in different ways.  If someone is producing fruit that is not good, then there is something wrong with the spirit of the person.

You dont have good water and bitter water out of the same fountain...potty mouth one moment, praising God the next?  I dont think so.  So you come in contact with that person, and you feel uncomfortable?  See if Gods trying to tell you something.

On the other hand, as you grow you realize that some things people struggle with that would bother others doest bother you as much.  Joe may have a problem cause Jim struggles with cigarettes.  Bob on the other hand, looks past that and sees that Jim is trying, just hasn't won the battle.  Its not up to Joe to put Jim under conviction, its up Joe and Bob to help Jim get through this.

What you must do is look for a steadiness.  True, Jim may have that problem.  But he is steady at church.  Support him!

When you see someone being unsteady, you should be concerned.  You should be praying for them, not putting them down.  Pray saints pray!  If its a young person or a new convert, and they are struggling, dont worry as much.  If its a person who has been in church for 50 years and is sneaking to the bar, pray hard.

Did you have a blankie when you were a little tyke?

Nope.  I had a dog and a bb gun.  LOL  Actually, if the truth be known, I did have a few stuffed animals that I grew up with.  But those fell by the wayside as I grew older and discovered cars, bikes, guns, etc.

What do you do when you have a decision you have to make in about a year, and multiple answers that could be correct?

What do you think it means when it talks about proving God, and how does that relate to testing God?

Hum.....I think both of these questions go together.  Some of this is taken from "My Father's House", a bible study put out by the Foreign Missions Division.

First ask if this is the will of God.  And keep in mind the will of God.  People often lose sight of their spiritual direction because they dont associate Gods wil with the daily practicalities such as working at our job, working at home, or even deciding what job we will train for.  We have to make thousands of "trivial" decisions, but we must remember to keep Gods will and plan in perspective.  That plan, and his will is single:  REACH THE LOST!

Three things to keep in mind about the will of God:

1.  It is not tri-leveled:  Some people read Romans 12:1-2 and say there is a good will, acceptable will, and a perfect will of God.  Thats not what it says!  It means that Gods will is "good, acceptable and perfect."  You are either in Gods will, or out of it.

2.  Its not always geographical.  We have to live somewhere, its the where that gives us the hangup.  We can be a christian anywhere, and we must remember our local church.  (on a side note, be a good Christian first, or you will never last as a witness.)

3.  Third, Gods will is not difficult to find.  Don't think you have to spend hours wrestling with it to find Gods plan.  Some people think you have to hunt it, open doors on your own, and see if thats whats for you.  I totally disagree.  I have a great friend who is one of the best workers I have ever seen.  His simple admonishment is this: find a need, and fill it.  Hes taught sunday school, youth, smallgroups, preached, cleaned church, cooked dinners, knocked on doors, and tons of other things.  Fill the gap!

Also, it is ok to ask yourself a few questions about a what you are feeling:

1.  Does this make common sense?  We look at Gods will as spiritual gobbleygook, and think it should be hokey pokey and involve smoke and mirrors...NOT SO!

2.  Does it make bible sense?  God is not going to tell you to do something that is not found in or go against the word of God.

3.  Does it make spirit sense?  There will be peace about it in the spirit.

4.  Does it make circumstantial sense?  God will not ask me to be a doctor.  I dont have the training.  He will not ask you to do something that is out of your talents.

Keep the main thing the main thing, and the rest will work itself out

What should I get my dad for Christmas?

A llama.  Then you can play this song endlessly...http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama

[sunlight]

Can I come see you guys this week sometime? :grin:

Why do odd things happen when there is a full moon? especially when you work night shift? especially when you work in a hospital?

how do you explain the natural hormonal imbalance that guys have?

how do you decide when to grow hair and when to be bald?

do you really think it's as black and white as finding something to do and doing it?

What should I get my dad for his birthday?

[Tricia Lea]

Do you have any summer plans?

[MelodyB]

Fries are having a birthday soon arnt they? You have new pics?

[mini]

Can I come see you guys this week sometime? :grin:

I know this is like 6 months AFTER you posted, but you are welcome anytime...just holler at Chelleebelle and work out the details.

Why do odd things happen when there is a full moon? especially when you work night shift? especially when you work in a hospital?

During a full moon, the moons gravitational pull is stronger than other times.  As you are well aware, high tide comes in at least 5 foot higher during full moons.  What is not as well known is the fact that these moon cycles have a effect on people too. 

The latin name of this phenomenon is moonlightytheniteus, or mltn (pronounced meltin)

They feel light headed and woozy. 

Don't believe me?  Ask Wooby about being woozy after walking around under a moon lit starry sky.  *cough*
*
During this time, a certain persona, not unlike a typical redneck, comes over most people effected and most last words are "Hey yall, I saw a cousin do this once.  Hold my Mt. Dew while I try it."  (No Seth, that is not the Mt. Dewy you are thinking of, but if you can hold her (if shes not already married, go ahead.)

The government came up with a fix for this problem about 34 years, 4 months, and 12 days ago.  But a well informed government aid, who happened to be a CIA op, who worked for a squad so secret they were nonexistant, did the simple math and discovered that this moonlightytheniteus nets us a annual 12.5 billion in revenue, including hospital visits and Mt. Dew sales.

So, the government stopped the sales of the cure.

how do you explain the natural hormonal imbalance that guys have?

Females.

how do you decide when to grow hair and when to be bald?

Good question.  I think I have been growing hair all my life.  Just in latter years, I have a abundance on my ears, and not enough on my head.

do you really think it's as black and white as finding something to do and doing it?

Most of the time.  Instead of waiting for God to open something huge, find something small and do it.

What should I get my dad for his birthday?

A llama.  Always buy him a llama.  He will be happy.  If hes not happy, buy him two llamas and keep buying more till he IS happy.

Do you have any summer plans?

I joined the Bald Yeti club.
I also sailed the 7 seas.
I worked as a the first explorer of the worlds deepest ocean trench.  It was the high point of my life.
I solved a rubik's cube in 14 days.
I earned more money than I could spend, so I gave it all away.
I flew my wife to Paris for dinner.  Twice.  In the same day.
I earned my doctorate in hot air.
Only one of these is true.

Fries are having a birthday soon arnt they? You have new pics?

I will have some!  I called and checked with my sister today.  I wanted to verify that I had indeed bought the old fries back in November 2005.  And I was correct.  The transactions were not "live" so to speak, so when I bought them (Thursday, November 17, 2005), the transactions came through on the following Monday.  The little things are still as crispy as ever, and have quite a following at the Airport.

If you have not already, go here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/OldFries/202339043687 and recommend them to your friends.  Lets see if we can get 200 fans!

[Roscoe]

 Oh, Lord. With all the lurking I did before joining, I missed one of the best threads in the place. I've sat here and read every page of this one, Mr. Minnesota in oklahoma. Good advice given and then you made me laugh until I cried with the motorcycle vs squirrel story- I ride too, or did until wifee wanted a CTS, the harley got traded in on it. Awesome.

[SippinTea]

They feel light headed and woozy. 

Don't believe me?  Ask Wooby about being woozy after walking around under a moon lit starry sky.  *cough*

I know nothing. Nothing, I tell you!

*cough*

What should I get my dad for his birthday?

A llama.  Always buy him a llama.  He will be happy.  If hes not happy, buy him two llamas and keep buying more till he IS happy.

Perfect! Utterly perfect.

[The Purple Fuzzy]

  NO MORE ANIMALS!  Do you hear me, Chel?  Just say no, to the llama.