I got to thinking today about something I was told.
Guys do not put much into a relationship unless it has potential for something.
Do we think, what is this going to benefit me. Am I going to make money off the business contact? Is the pursuing of a friendship with a girl going to end up with me a date? Is playing golf with the boss or the guy down the street going to land me a new job offer?
Are we really willing to invest in something the time of our lives just because of the friendship regardless of what we get out of it?
After some experiences over my life, I have came to a conclusion that the statement to start it off is true the vast majority of the time. We think of things as a game, even when we strive not to,even when we tell ourselves we don't. That all we are in this for is the friendship itself. Even if that is true, it always seems to come up that we fall right back into not putting anything into the relationship unless we get something out of it.
What is hard, is I find myself in that boat....but sometimes I don't have a choice but to walk away when all there is happens to be pain. I got to cut off what is hurting, so the rest of me can heal and go on. Just each time I do, I cut a part of myself away, a part of my heart.
I start to wonder how long before I will have nothing left to offer in a friendship, or to the one I finally meet that happens to be the one I have sought to walk at my side.
Though Time and time again I am told, "you have alot of the qualities I seek, I just don't want to pursue it.."
I begin to wonder if I really have anything to offer at all, and is it worth opening what remains of my heart to someone again.
And I then start to see, the cycle beginning again,
Me not putting much into a relationship unless it has potential for something to benefit me.
I suppose all us - guys and gals alike - find ourself looking for what benefit a relationship might have and use that to judge what kind of effort and how much effort to put into a particular relationship.
QuoteThough Time and time again I am told, "you have alot of the qualities I [the girl talking], I just don't want to pursue it.."
I begin to wonder if I really have anything to offer at all, and is it worth opening what remains of my heart to someone again.
sounds like a very depressed comment. to answer what the comment adresses I think all of us have something to offer in a friendship. If we completely close our hearts to the possibility of close relationships because a handful have hurt us, we become an awful lonely person.
:smirk: Don't I know it....I just wonder why I have to let my heart go....why can't I just not feel anything, just so I can smile, and be friendly like I used to be.
Unfortunately I don't hide it as well as I used to....I need to go find my turtle shell, If I can get this fat walrus inside it! :smirk:
I think it is going to be one of those days! :roll:
if you didn't feel anything you wouldn't be smiling and friendly either. not feeling = numb and uncaring.
If you decide to get you an emotional turtle shell I hope you end up around a group that will do the same thing my ring of friends has done to the turtle shell I tried to form after I was withdrawn from by the church of christ - their chipping it away little bit at a time.
Got to thinking a little more today,
we strive to invest so much in things, only to see them destroyed. And we wonder why it is rare for some to reach out when that has happened?
yes, it is worth investing in a friendship, but it must come both ways. Or eventually you are drained and nothing left to give at all. A person can give only so much before there is nothing but dust to remain. When those who have invested their lives in reaching others, why do we not give back to to them?
Why can't we seem to just care about others without involving so much emotion? My generation, what few remain- seems to have forgotten any lessons handed down to us, that friendship brings pain, but to reach to others -----well, sometimes it is the only way to heal that.
I am reminded of a recipe called friendship bread.....the way it is made, there is always enough to make a new loaf and still have dough to share with a neighbor, and the more it is made, the more that can be shared. But while one neighbor may just throw away the gift you gave, another will take it and share it with the next person they meet.....so yes, while a guard on our hearts is great, we still must always remember it is worth the investment.....even if it eventually only touches one heart.
love, (and consequently, friendship) is a risk. It is a risk that must be weighed, and evaluated before you take it.
Quote from: nwlife on May 21, 2007, 09:35:10 PM
Guys do not put much into a relationship unless it has potential for something.
..............
After some experiences over my life, I have came to a conclusion that the statement to start it off is true the vast majority of the time. We think of things as a game, even when we strive not to,even when we tell ourselves we don't. That all we are in this for is the friendship itself. Even if that is true, it always seems to come up that we fall right back into not putting anything into the relationship unless we get something out of it.
What is hard, is I find myself in that boat....but sometimes I don't have a choice but to walk away when all there is happens to be pain. I got to cut off what is hurting, so the rest of me can heal and go on. Just each time I do, I cut a part of myself away, a part of my heart.
I start to wonder how long before I will have nothing left to offer in a friendship, or to the one I finally meet that happens to be the one I have sought to walk at my side.
Though Time and time again I am told, "you have alot of the qualities I seek, I just don't want to pursue it.."
I begin to wonder if I really have anything to offer at all, and is it worth opening what remains of my heart to someone again.
And I then start to see, the cycle beginning again,
Me not putting much into a relationship unless it has potential for something to benefit me.
I've heard it said, 'if you always do things the way you've always done them, you'll always get the same results you've always gotten.'
Quote from: surfdaworld on May 23, 2007, 07:10:58 AM
love, (and consequently, friendship) is a risk. It is a risk that must be weighed, and evaluated before you take it.
I've heard it said, 'if you always do things the way you've always done them, you'll always get the same results you've always gotten.'
Brothermine, you're smart you are.
:beret:
Okay, I find two different themes here..one, romantic love, and two, friendship. Certainly, the former can grow from the latter.
In general, love, to me, can grow in a similar way that the Word of God does in our heart. Once the seed is sown, it has to fall upon good ground (the fallow ground of the heart.) It must not be stolen away out of our hearts, but guarded. It must not be allowed to depart in time of temptation, nor from the cares of this world.
Although I would agree with my brother Surfdaworld that one must weigh the issue, I would only take that in the sense of romantic love.
Friednship is to be offered without stint, nor regard for what may be returned. The Word of God tells us about the man who would have friends
(KJV) Proverbs 18:24 A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
To me, this points to both the requirement to be friendly in order to have friends, but also shows us the way to our ultimate friend, Jesus Christ.
I am all to aware I need to be a better friend, and more friendly, than I am. But, no matter how decent a friend I might become, nor how blessed I am in the friends I have, I will occasionally fail them, and they will occasionally fail me.
Then I can only look to the Rock that is higher than I, my ultimate friend, Christ Jesus.
Your Brother,
John
Investing in a friendship,
I think I will continue to try my best to do so, but I don't think I will strive to let anyone inside as a confidant or very close any longer.
I can still have a or be a friend, but it will be at a distance from now forward.
not forming close friendships and trust quickly I can understand. I'm not one to trust that easily myself. been burnt too many times. The few I have been closer to time and circumstance has distanced me from.
Here is my :twocents:
I say go for it.... what do you have to loose. I use to be so scared of life and taking chances I was bored. I understand your heart is a stake and you don't want to hurt, but if you don't go for it how will you ever know. Pain is only temporary, but sitting around and wondering WHAT IF...... that is torture...
I truly believe that God has someone in store for everyone, but He won't just drop them in your lap, it takes prayer and faith.... God will provide in His time, not ours....
Love ya all!!!
It is worth it maybe at some point, But I am not opening up anymore to any depth level. I will hide most of myself again. If I deem it necessary, I will share what is needed. But I have decided just for friendships I will keep at a distance. And possibly even in something beyond that should I meet someone to date, I will still keep at a distance till I am completely comfortable and share only a small part at a time.
I have the 2 or 3 ones I can call a confidant or close, the rest will just have to read between the smiles. :updown:
Investing in friendship is always worth it.
true friendships are worth it even if not all of the friendships turn out the best.
Nwlife.... I like the cat advatar :great:
If I had never invested in a friendship with my husband, I would have never fallen in love with him and ended up marrying him. I told my husband upfront when we started talking that he could be my friend but I wasn't interested - so I'm glad that he invested in our friendship even though it "didn't have potential". It's often the friendships that LOOK like they don't have "potential" that actually turn out to be "the one".
hhhmmm . . . that's interesting. i have to think about that.
my initial reaction is that it's always worth it to make a friend, but . . . what if they pull away? then what? what if they move away? then what? what if they find themselves involved with someone else and leave you out? then what?
well, you have still enjoyed the benefit of that friendship for a season in your life, that's what. if you are a good friend in return, then regardless of the distance (real or perceived) between you and your friend, you still have a friend to call on in times of need . . .and someone to sow grace to when they have need.
worth it? absolutely!
costly? yep. true story.
I'm finally chancing investing a bit into friendships in one group I've usually shyed away from - friendships with males.
Quote from: Backseat Radio on May 30, 2007, 03:32:28 AM
I'm finally chancing investing a bit into friendships in one group I've usually shyed away from - friendships with males.
ooh! no offense to my gal pals... but those are the best kind to have!!! :hypocrite: LOL
have fun investing!!!
for a long time I've been scared to try a friendship with a male
Quote from: Backseat Radio on May 30, 2007, 05:14:16 AM
for a long time I've been scared to try a friendship with a male
...that's only because they bite.
Quote from: TRAV on May 30, 2007, 06:29:48 AM
Quote from: Backseat Radio on May 30, 2007, 05:14:16 AM
for a long time I've been scared to try a friendship with a male
...that's only because they bite.
we don't exactly bite, we just chomp at the bit!
:great:
Or should I have said, We chomp at the bait! :laughhard:
hmm start as a walrus, then transform to a chicken, now you're transforming into a fish. I guess God knew what he was talking about when he mentioned becomming fishers of men.
What you never been chicken fishing?!?!?!?!? :o You just tie a couple ears of corn to a string and watch the chicken chase them when you pull the string.....the one who catches it becomes sunday dinner! :fork:
Quote from: TRAV on May 30, 2007, 06:29:48 AM
Quote from: Backseat Radio on May 30, 2007, 05:14:16 AM
for a long time I've been scared to try a friendship with a male
...that's only because they bite.
:o :nono: :laughhard:
oh my I found that rather hilarious :hypocrite:
I'll have to remember that warning
Dude, you WEREN"T supposed to Warn them!
John :waving:
Quote from: TRAV on May 30, 2007, 06:29:48 AM
...that's only because they bite.[/color]
Quote from: Newsman on May 30, 2007, 06:52:16 AM
Dude, you WEREN"T supposed to Warn them!
John :waving:
Quote from: TRAV on May 30, 2007, 06:29:48 AM
...that's only because they bite.[/color]
what warning, we usually don't bite until we get scratched!
Quote from: nwlife on May 30, 2007, 06:41:52 AM
What you never been chicken fishing?!?!?!?!? :o You just tie a couple ears of corn to a string and watch the chicken chase them when you pull the string.....the one who catches it becomes sunday dinner! :fork:
I know a bit about milking chickens, but not about fishing for chickens.
Quote from: Backseat Radio on May 30, 2007, 07:04:01 AM
Quote from: nwlife on May 30, 2007, 06:41:52 AM
What you never been chicken fishing?!?!?!?!? :o You just tie a couple ears of corn to a string and watch the chicken chase them when you pull the string.....the one who catches it becomes sunday dinner! :fork:
I know a bit about milking chickens, but not about fishing for chickens.
How about purse fishing....now that can be fun... Just take a purse, and lay it on the side of the road with a line attached...
when someone pulls over to pick it up, and just as they reach for it...pull the line!!!! :laughhard:
purse fishing sounds like it could be fun :biglaugh:
I most commonly do the other form of purse fishing... fishing in the bottom of my purse for my keys.
If anyone needs a friendship investor, say something now. Radio's got the purse out. :P
;)
:pound:
:cool:
nwlife,
I think you were right when you wrote that friendships should be invested in, not for what we can get out of them, but for the other person - simply because of who he or she is.
And I don't know if it's just a guy thing, but for some of us it certainly is difficult , investing in friendships without looking for "what's in it for me."
But it's definitely worth it, and furthermore I believe it's God's ideal.
I wasn't looking for romance when I met my wife. Sure, as I got to know her, it was not long at all before the thought entered my mind that our relationship might go beyond friendship. Still, I didn't vest my hope for our friendship in that thought, but just tried to enjoy spending time with her for who she is, and tried to be the best friend I could be (within the appropriate limits, of course).
I don't invest anything in female friendships because I don't want anything to come out of it. At least not females in general that might be eligible for romance... I'll invest in friendship with females that are the wives of my male friends, but I don't want any return on investment anywhere else. :freaky:
I'm glad you admitted to investing in friendships with at least the wives of your male friends, if not any single gals, because otherwise you'd be missing something, Cheeseman. :)
I'm very thankful for my non-romantic relationships with guy friends, because they put something into my life that I can't get from my girl friends. And in listening to the guys, I'd have to say it works the other way around, too. Ladies put something into men's lives that can't be received any other way. Guess God knew what He was doing when He made us different, eh? *grin* Looks as if we all need each other, after all....even when we don't want to admit it.
:beret:
Quote from: Chseeads on May 31, 2007, 09:08:48 PM
I don't invest anything in female friendships because I don't want anything to come out of it. At least not females in general that might be eligible for romance... I'll invest in friendship with females that are the wives of my male friends, but I don't want any return on investment anywhere else. :freaky:
What about friendships with old ladies? They're harmless.... or so I hear. :hypocrite:
Quote from: Chseeads on May 31, 2007, 09:08:48 PM
I don't invest anything in female friendships because I don't want anything to come out of it. At least not females in general that might be eligible for romance...
wow.
I know, I'm awe inspiring. :P
sad was the adjective that came to mind, actually.
seth, really? you're missing out on a very precious part of life. friendships - regardless of age or gender - give back so much more than they cost to invest in.
I've noticed I tend to steer away from being very close friends with girls, just because something might happen...or if you meet someone, and something does happen, will she have a problem with all of your close friends that are girls? (And if so, does she have a point, or does it mean she's the wrong one.)
...oops I accidently edited this when I meant to quote it...now I can't remember the rest of what it originally said. Arrrg.
I guess i must be the oddball gall when it comes to shopping. I hate to shop. Give me the list and I'll conqueror it but don't make me stay in the store half a day having no clue what I'm in there for. Thats torture, not fun.
Quote from: Backseat Radio on June 01, 2007, 02:04:31 AM
I guess i must be the oddball gall when it comes to shopping. I hate to shop. Give me the list and I'll conqueror it but don't make me stay in the store half a day having no clue what I'm in there for. Thats torture, not fun.
Yay! I'll join you on that one. I
despise shopping, and no, I'm not kidding.
I always kinda figured I was a freak. Whoever heard of a girl that hated shopping?! LOL Oh, well. Such is me.
:beret:
Quote from: Classicrambler on June 01, 2007, 12:52:09 AM
I've noticed I tend to steer away from being very close friends with girls, just because something might happen...or if you meet someone, and something does happen, will she have a problem with all of your close friends that are girls? (And if so, does she have a point, or does it mean she's the wrong one?)
I know what you mean..... That used to be something I thought of too....but now it doesn't matter, cause I don't plan to be buddies with any girls that are 'dangerous' that anything might be liable to develop with.
Your loss. Their loss.
Everyone loses that way.
:beret:
AND, she can swing a hammer, too! Wowzers! :thumbsup2:
John :waving:
Quote from: Backseat Radio on May 31, 2007, 04:00:58 PM
:pound:
:twocents:
Bad experience caused me to be like that for a time, but any experience is still experience, right? It's still a good teacher.
:sing: "I keep my eyes wide open all the time..."
It's hard to be an adjective for a lollipop, meaning one who is easily duped, and golly please don't wash my mouth out with soap anymore, if you learn to read signs you've seen before. That helps me not to worry about the 'dangerous' gals.
Buuuut, true friends don't just grow on trees, so I'll take all I can get.
I would think that a friendship that grew into something else would have less shocks in store for you than that kick-in-the-gut-ice-watery-knock-your-socks-off-instantly type thing.
*laughs* :great: Good post!
:beret:
lol
Thanks, ST...
Quote from: Sister_Mom on May 31, 2007, 09:37:58 PM
Quote from: Chseeads on May 31, 2007, 09:08:48 PM
I don't invest anything in female friendships because I don't want anything to come out of it. At least not females in general that might be eligible for romance... I'll invest in friendship with females that are the wives of my male friends, but I don't want any return on investment anywhere else. :freaky:
What about friendships with old ladies? They're harmless.... or so I hear. :hypocrite:
Some of my best friends over the years turned out to be old ladies...usually up in their 70's or so though.
Your post made me laugh, Coolguy, because it reminded me of something I'd put in my rambling thread a while back. Had to go look it up and copy it here, because it's precisely the point you made about reading warning signs you've seen before that makes me like this quote, goofy as it is. :)
Quote from: SippinTea on March 31, 2007, 08:37:12 PM
The perfect quote for a gal like me that doesn't believe in fairy tales...
"True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked." --Erich Segal
:updown: ...oh, wait that's :beret:
*grin* I still love it! :P
:beret:
:biglaugh:
Right?
Once you've got reading signs down, the rest is just a waiting game.
It's a very entertaining one, actually...
Quote from: SippinTea on June 01, 2007, 03:04:34 AM
Quote from: Backseat Radio on June 01, 2007, 02:04:31 AM
I guess i must be the oddball gall when it comes to shopping. I hate to shop. Give me the list and I'll conqueror it but don't make me stay in the store half a day having no clue what I'm in there for. Thats torture, not fun.
Yay! I'll join you on that one. I despise shopping, and no, I'm not kidding.
I always kinda figured I was a freak. Whoever heard of a girl that hated shopping?! LOL Oh, well. Such is me.
:beret:
Same here. :roll:
Certain people can't understand why I want to go to WalMart, stick to my list and not just "look around". :hypocrite:
Ugh. :-? 'Just looking' in Wal-mart (or Ross, for that matter) gives me a headache and I get pretty cranky. Too much clutter, too much mess, too many colors, and choices, and .....aaaarrrggghhh! My brain goes on overload.
:beret:
For me, the perfect store would have what i want waiting at the door when I arrive so I can go on to more important things. :great:
Like heading for Starbucks or Ben & Jerry's to _Invest in a Friendship_!!! Right? ;)
Oooo, did you see what a smooth move that was? :thumbsup2: We're right back on track! LOL
Do I get a prize or something? :P
:beret:
Quote from: SippinTea on June 01, 2007, 03:51:57 AM
Your loss. Their loss.
Everyone loses that way.
:beret:
I think it's more of a win-win situation that way. :P
:roll: Okay, I'll quit trying to convince you. It's obviously not doing any good, and you seem to be happily miserable in your own delusional world. :P
You've got Bella--what more do you need? LOL
:beret:
:popcorn:
Jes' can't get enough of this popcorn...
Being friends with girls doesn't work. Not for me anyways.
Well, of course not with that attitude young man! :roll:
Okay, Seth. I'll take your word for it.
*throws hands up in the air in exasperation and walks away* :)
:beret:
QuoteI've noticed I tend to steer away from being very close friends with girls, just because something might happen...or if you meet someone, and something does happen, will she have a problem with all of your close friends that are girls? (And if so, does she have a point, or does it mean she's the wrong one?)
Perhaps this would explain why it's a lot easier to be friends with non-Christian types...hmm, hadn't thought of that before. I find it easier to strike up conversations etc with girls I know I won't be likely to be 'questioned' about later.
Oh well, I'm quite willing to change, but I think perhaps I've formed a habit.
true.
its simpler sometimes to invest in a friendship that has no chance of going anywhere, because there are no doubts in your mind as to where the boundaries are.
QuoteI find it easier to strike up conversations etc with girls I know I won't be likely to be 'questioned' about later.
That bothered me, back when I cared about people jumping to conclusions. :biglaugh:
Now I tend to grin like a loon and launch into my best Dean Martin impression.
:sing: "When an eel lunges out and he bites off your snout, that's a moray!!"
:biglaugh:
:beret:
That serves the dual purpose of severely cutting back on the people who get in my business, and possibly irritating the ones who do...
:biglaugh:
cute, very cute.
Is it worth it? Always!
I agree with that statement, but it would be much harder to say right after I've been hurt by someone I thought was a friend. No matter what our attitude is normally, a hurting usually makes us more cautious.
I'm so thankful God isn't that way. No matter how far one goes, or for how long, when we turn back to Him, His mercy and grace is always there.
Quote from: Sister_Mom on June 21, 2007, 01:30:34 PM
I agree with that statement, but it would be much harder to say right after I've been hurt by someone I thought was a friend. No matter what our attitude is normally, a hurting usually makes us more cautious.
That's true - but just because someone hurts us doesn't mean he or she isn't a friend.
True enough!
That's very true. Just because we care about someone or love someone doesn't mean we're not capable of hurting that person. I wish it weren't true.
But as others have forgiven me for the disappointments and hurts I've caused, I should be able to forgive even moreso. I believe there would be less broken friendships, even less divorce if we could all have the attitude to forgive more than we have been forgiven.
On the other hand, there are those who are friends only on the surface and are not what they seem to be and we can find ourselves investing our hearts in a friendship that isn't genuine. Hopefully we can remain in touch with reality enough to realize that not everyone will be that way or that maybe we should allow more time for a friendship to grow before investing all.
We decide how much we will invest in friendships, but our decisions are probably more often based on the degree of past damage and how much of that we have held on to and that can vary from day to day. We just need to be careful to not allow each hurt to place another brick in a wall that we surround ourselves with. If we choose to forgive, we break each brick as it is created.
The question then remains, how much wall do we allow to remain in order protect ourselves from those who willingly choose to hurt us?
(http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h181/MelodyB99/GifFiles/thyeahthat.gif) :great: (http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h181/MelodyB99/GifFiles/gpost.gif)
Quote from: Sister_Mom on June 21, 2007, 02:05:41 PM
...if we could all have the attitude to forgive more than we have been forgiven.
That's a terrific attitude!
Faithful are the wounds of a friend...
Quote from: coolguy on June 21, 2007, 05:24:25 AM
:sing: "When an eel lunges out and he bites off your snout, that's a moray!!"
That's funny. lol
I saw that years ago in an old comic book. Seems like it might've been "B.C."...
:viking:
Quote from: Chseeads on June 23, 2007, 04:41:06 PM
Quote from: coolguy on June 21, 2007, 05:24:25 AM
:sing: "When an eel lunges out and he bites off your snout, that's a moray!!"
That's funny. lol
:o Bummer...I'd been mulling over the idea of writing such a parody for several years now. Phooey; by the time I have a good idea, someone else has already done it.
Yeah, it always stinks when you go tell your friends, "I've got this great idea! dadadadada...", and they say,
"Yeah, dude, that's a good idea, but I saw that same thing on channel 12 the other day."
:mad:
lol
Yea, especially when a friend comes up and says, "your girlfriend told me about yall's date" and all you did was pay for a girl's lunch on a trip and you hardly know her!
makes you wonder if the humor is coming out...or if you have someone crushing on ya....
Hmm, any recent trips you haven't mentioned there, Brandon?
The Inquisito..err, the public wants to know! :laughhard:
John :goodmod: err, :waving:
Let's just say st louis comes to mind...or is that memphis...
I have a hard time making friends, mainly because I have been hurt by friends. I am trying to get over that. Do have a girl that works where I work that I like now but am still afraid to get too close
We've all been hurt by friends, Jon. But take the risk. I think you'll find it's worth it. :)
One of my very best friends is a guy that took the risk, and I'm really thankful he did.
In reading back through this thread, I found a former post of mine....
Quote from: SippinTea on May 31, 2007, 09:17:36 PM
I'm very thankful for my non-romantic relationships with guy friends, because they put something into my life that I can't get from my girl friends. And in listening to the guys, I'd have to say it works the other way around, too. Ladies put something into men's lives that can't be received any other way. Guess God knew what He was doing when He made us different, eh? *grin* Looks as if we all need each other, after all....even when we don't want to admit it.
I still feel that way. In fact, I feel even more strongly about it now than when I wrote that.
:beret:
This is an interesting thread to go back and read. :)
Isnt it though?
Being the orginator of the thread....I still find it okay to have a "aquaintance friend" But I still won't let anyone very close to me. Probably will continue that path regardless of circumstances that ever arise. I might let someone be a little closer than others, but even then I do pull back from them after a bit. I just find it more comforting keeping the wall up. It isn't that I don't need anyone in my life. I just prefer to keep things at a comfortable distance. I guess It all boils down to that I have a very large bubble of personal space!
Quote from: [{(nwlife)}] on August 10, 2008, 06:07:36 AM
I just find it more comforting keeping the wall up. It isn't that I don't need anyone in my life. I just prefer to keep things at a comfortable distance. I guess It all boils down to that I have a very large bubble of personal space!
Recognizing one's particular need for "personal space" is a good thing, but it's also true that what we're comfortable with is sometimes, perhaps even
usually, NOT what is best for us.
Maybe you need to force yourself beyond comfort. ;)
Quote from: [{(nwlife)}] on August 10, 2008, 06:07:36 AM
Being the orginator of the thread....I still find it okay to have a "aquaintance friend" But I still won't let anyone very close to me. Probably will continue that path regardless of circumstances that ever arise. I might let someone be a little closer than others, but even then I do pull back from them after a bit. I just find it more comforting keeping the wall up. It isn't that I don't need anyone in my life. I just prefer to keep things at a comfortable distance. I guess It all boils down to that I have a very large bubble of personal space!
I feel the same here. There is like a wall up that I cant and am not sure I want to get down. I have a couple of friends and it seems the closest friend I have is one thats helped me since my moms death. And its someone I have never met but she has been there to talk to and just listen. Infact shes the one that told me about this board.
I know I need to try make more friends just its hard
Jon
Well, that one broke through the barrier. There will be more. There is however, one friend you have. He has never left your side and he never will.
some friends are worth more investment than others. not because of what you get back, but because of what you see grow in their life.
maybe it's because of the One friend that i know this to be true.
but then there's one lately that i have rather enjoyed watching.
God is good.
"That's a moray" BOL...that's classic!
Investing in freindship is definitely worth it whether they are male or female...yeah it bites when they get married and you can't spend as much time hanging out with them, unless you're fortunate enough to have a close guy friend and gal friend get married to each other, but the memories are worth it. Take it from someone who's been surrounded by an ivory tower for most of her life...their many gaps in my wall now and I'm working on breaking it down...but there are times when I appear aloof and distant to people who don't know me, therefore it's difficult to make friends with people who think you're cold and standoffish....initially I was like that because I was afraid of guy freindships that would progress...but now I don't care, they know where I stand and I like hanging with them as freinds.
We had a guy friend who was younger. We helped him, even gave him our old car because it needed about $400 worth of work it needed.
He used us, then started arguements and marched out. Then went to others in church and started lying about us. The last time I saw him was General conference year before last, and he started an arguement right there at conference. I felt so bad, we left and didn't stay for service.
Those are the type that you don't want to hang on to. We were only trying to give him a leg up because his parents disowned him. Now I see why.
There are quite a few people back home who believed what he said after we left. It doesn't pay to try to help out sometimes.
The last few years God has placed wonderful friends in my life. And they keep leaving. All for God-called great reasons, so I am excited for them! But after a while it is sad. I have a friend who I have come to reguard highly. She is moving this summer to be a principal in Honduras. I have had a couple of moments that it just hurts. I know we will always be friends, but ya know how friendships tend to change.
I was talking to a friend about it and she said I could love deep and have it hurt sometimes or put up a wall to never know the depths of great relationships, keeping everyone at a distance. It's tempting to not become so invested in people, to not put myself out there. But then I wouldn't have the blessed friendship in the 1st place! And really, it's worth it.
There's the guarantee that at some point, I will be used and hurt if I keep putting myself out there. It's happened, and it will happen again, but I have to trust the process that God is bringing me through to be closer to Him. If I deny the process, I deny my own growth.
To know Him, in the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His suffering. I can't have one without the other.
God may put someone in your life for a season for a reason. You may uplift them in ways you will never know, or they may be giving you answers you didn't know you needed.
I tend to go with the flow. If they're there, I give it my all, if they have to leave, I'll be sad but happy for them.
I have found out that God puts people in your life for specific specific, and sometimes unknown reasons... and not always the reasons you think.
They perhaps may be used by God to help open a door, that may not have previously been open.
BUT no matter the reason, I do cherish ALL my friends, and like keeping them long term... although when a gal I am friends with gets married, things do change... but hopefully, I can become good friends with her new best friend, and then I can hang out with them together!
:grin:
I have met so many new people by meeting just one person, one really good amazing God sent friend! And now because of all those new awesome, amazing friends, I am making even more awesome friends... God is cool! :grin:
Quote from: YooperYankDude on May 18, 2010, 04:14:36 AM
BUT no matter the reason, I do cherish ALL my friends, and like keeping them long term... although when a gal I am friends with gets married, things do change... but hopefully, I can become good friends with her new best friend, and then I can hang out with them together!
:grin:
:great:
:beret:
Quote from: SippinTea on May 18, 2010, 04:51:33 AM
Quote from: YooperYankDude on May 18, 2010, 04:14:36 AM
BUT no matter the reason, I do cherish ALL my friends, and like keeping them long term... although when a gal I am friends with gets married, things do change... but hopefully, I can become good friends with her new best friend, and then I can hang out with them together!
:grin:
:great:
:beret:
I knew of at least one friend... soon to be bride would appreciate this... :)
:hyper: :hyper: :hyper: :hyper: :hyper: :hyper:
*Yoop goes to check on flights to Upper West Coast to visit a few friends... and make some new ones!*
:hyper: :hyper: :hyper: :hyper: :hyper: :hyper:
*grin*
:beret:
Wait a minute!!! Are you stopping anywhere around the middle of the west coast before you get to the upper west coast?!?!?! :bigcheese:
Quote from: RainbowJingles on May 18, 2010, 07:14:11 PM
Wait a minute!!! Are you stopping anywhere around the middle of the west coast before you get to the upper west coast?!?!?! :bigcheese:
I could consider it... lol... :grin:
What will you be doing in the beginning of July? :cool:
What just about everyone else does: watching fireworks and having a picnic!!!! :bigcheese:
You gonna join us?!?! :hyper:
:hyper: :hyper: :hyper: :hyper: :hyper:
YaY for a good 'ole fashion American holiday, that not even the libs or america haters can ruin for me!
*Yoop checking tickets*
Will there be real fire works, and can I set them off?
:Cheshire grin:
:freaky2:
That might happen. :rofl:
*smothers a giggle*
:beret:
*Waits to hear Lady Elona's ruling on whether Yoop gets 'fireworks'*
Yes, there will be real fireworks. As to whether or not you can set them off, that is up to you. If you'd like to break through security and go out to the barge, I'm sure they'd let you help just a little while before giving you some pretty silver commemorative bracelets and at least one free evening's accommodations.
Quote from: RainbowJingles on May 25, 2010, 12:03:57 AM
Yes, there will be real fireworks. As to whether or not you can set them off, that is up to you. If you'd like to break through security and go out to the barge, I'm sure they'd let you help just a little while before giving you some pretty silver commemorative bracelets and at least one free evening's accommodations.
That's awesome, and sounds fun...
I love a chance to practice the stealthiness I learned in the USAF...
After all, I have been negligent in my collection of commemorative bracelets as of late, and who wouldn't want a free nights stay in CA... :cool:
Sounds good, then. See you on the 4th! lol
:grin:
So... Anyone else want Yoop to stop by on his World Tour...?
So far in July I have potential to be in CA, TX, MS, AL, OR, TN... and maybe WA, but not necessarily in that order... lol. :cool:
Is this a world trip or North America trip?
Quote from: TheGirl on May 26, 2010, 01:13:46 AM
Is this a world trip or North America trip?
As of right now, it is a North America Trip... started in WI, then TX, then MS, then IL, now in Guatemala, then to Belize, Mexico, TX, and then the rest of it; CA, TX, MS, AL, OR, TN... and maybe WA, but not necessarily in that order... lol. :cool:
Sooooo...this MS part...is that in a place where you might see a famous SQUIRREL?
Quote from: MelodyB on May 26, 2010, 03:40:19 AM
Sooooo...this MS part...is that in a place where you might see a famous SQUIRREL?
the one that went Berserk? I definitely am gonna make a dead level attempt! :grin:
:clap: