Hey you guys, I just got married and was wondering how long did you guys wait to have kids? and your thoughts on it... like would it bring more complications in the adjusting stage/alone time or did you have no trouble. I'm not planning on having any for at least a year or 2 but I wanted your imput.
we waited a year...well we would have waited longer but I got pregnant on the pill..so I really did not have a choose..lol.
We waited for a lil over 2 years.
I would wait a little while,just so you have some "alone"time before the transition of a child. Having a child is a major transition.
Emma is already almost 15 months and Ryan and I are just hitting the transition bc of his deployment when Emma was less than a week old. It takes time to get used to having a little one rely on you and it takes time to get used to it not being just the two of you (u and hubby) but i do think a little one just adds more joy and happiness!
I recommend waiting a year or two. We only waited 5 months, while it has worked out for us, i still think it would have been better if we had waited. It also really depends on how long you guys have known each other and dated. If you've known each other for years and dated for years, you might be more ready to start a family right away. If you were like us and had only known each other a few months before you got married, it is really a good idea to wait a while and get used to each other and spend time as a couple.
I was going to say exactly what Kimberly said. We were together for 15 months before we got married though. We waited 6 months to get pregnant (didn't really expect to get pregnant on the first try!). It might have been nice to have had more alone time as a couple before becoming parents. Also would have helped to have been more financially secure.
my hubby and i dated for 2 years before getting married, and found out i was pregnant with our 1st on our 2nd anniversary. i think the timing was great! i personally recommend anyone wait at least a year before getting pregnant.
We had Ethan right away, he wasn't planned for, however I think for us it was a blessing in disguise. We were going through a lot and it seemed like God took the bad in our lives and gave us this little miracle. Ever since we found out we were expecting him our perspectives on everything changed and we were able to handle our circumstances with the strength we needed. You have to be strong if you know you're going to be parents.
However, if we had gotten married under different circumstances our plan was to wait for 2 years. Simply because we wanted some alone time together first, and we wanted to be more financially set.
We found out that I was pregnant after we were married for 10 months. When he finally decides to arrive it will be 19 months that we've been married.
Our plan was to wait about a year so it worked out. We are a little older though so that makes a difference. We are already financially set and ready for a family.
My husband and I were 29 and 46 when we married and we started our family right away. We got married in September and found out we were expecting in January, and she was born the following October about 13 mos after we were married. It worked out GREAT for us. Had my hubby been a little younger, we would have waited at least a year, but we didn't.
Miranda is SOOO right about being parents and "having" to handle stuff....you just do it!!
sharon
matt and i discussed pre-marriage to wait for 4-5 years. we are both still young and want to be out of our apartment. also to be honest....we want selfish years. just us. no kids.
we recently had an evangalist and his wife that came through. they will be married 10 years and just now have a 2 year old and a 6 month old..........so it was well over 7 years into their marriage before they had kids!! He's 32 now, and she's 29!!
sharon
My aunt & uncle waited nine years - I think three or four years is good.
everyone i personally know of that waited more than 5 years says it was a HUGE disruption... they were soooooooo used to it being just the 2 of them, and being able to just run and do whatever at the drop of a hat.
Quote from: acjmom on April 25, 2007, 11:33:02 PM
everyone i personally know of that waited more than 5 years says it was a HUGE disruption... they were soooooooo used to it being just the 2 of them, and being able to just run and do whatever at the drop of a hat.
We were married 6 years when I got pregnant and had Mattison. It wasn't a disruption for me, but that may be because we were trying for so long that when I finally got pregnant it was so wonderful. I can see how some couples have an adjustment period after they had been married so long.
Personally, I think 2 years is next to perfect.
ok, you're my 1 exception darla.... i forgot you were 6 years ;)
Quote from: acjmom on April 25, 2007, 11:33:02 PM
everyone i personally know of that waited more than 5 years says it was a HUGE disruption... they were soooooooo used to it being just the 2 of them, and being able to just run and do whatever at the drop of a hat.
My sister waited a LONG time.. bout four months. ;)
If I had it to do all over again, I would have waited a year. But, Janessa was a honeymoon baby!!!!
Am I confused Jennifer? I thought Jacob was older than Janessa?
We've been married for about 2 years and 3 months and still no baby yet!! We may be thinking about it in the next year or so - depending on health insurance ;)
My asst pastor and his wife waited around 5-6 yrs. She is 31 ? N hes close to that i think ? lol im not sure exact ages. but i know shes over 30 and hes close to it!
i've only been married 2 weeks and i already have people asking when we are having a child!!! :o why is it immediately after your married people assume children are just a few months away? especially in apostolic churches?
I got that before we were even married...still get it...
A pregnant lady asked me when we were going to have one, then she said "don't you just hate that question? After you have your first, then people will ask when are you having another one"....