Safety & Single Women

[SippinTea]

Help us out, men. (And any women that want to share,too.)  What are some ways that single women unintentionally put themselves in harms' way? And what are some practical steps we can take to not be an easy target?

We've read the books (most of which aren't all that helpful for real-life scenarios), but we need some advice for everyday safety. Assume we're talking about modestly-dressed pentecostal women, not some asking-for-trouble gal.

[RainbowJingles]

Tip #1: Never give your phone number to a guy unless you have first
1.run a background check on him and
2.called the last three numbers on his caller ID to be sure they're not
-A. His ex-girlfriend
-B. His ex-wife
-C. His wife

[SippinTea]

Ouch! OK, there's not really a way I can do that with the guy I'm thinking of. And for all I know, he's got all three.

Any other thoughts?

[nicolejoy]

Do you mean being safe in a guy-girl relationship? Or being "street safe" when there's pick pockets and all that around? or what??

[RainbowJingles]

Hmmm...  SippinTea is thinking of a guy!

Alert the media!!!!

[not my will but thine]

Boys will be boys.  Some are worse than others.  Just take you time and get to know someone.  You could always have a companion accompany you to be more comfortable and feel safer

[Newsman]

I won't kid you on the guy part, but are you looking at thoughts on not getting the wrong guy the wrong idea? Or, are you talking about survival tips if a guy begins to make an unwanted physical move on a woman?


John

[wire2john]

Don't get close to a man who isn't full of the Holy Ghost (at least sometimes, we all have a measure of up and down). The Holy Ghost isn't going to be strong in a man who is trying to cheat on his wife, seduce you, or whatever other evil designs he might have. If you don't know how to recognize whether or not someone is full by their speech and their spirit, then pray for discernment and give God time to get it to you before looking for a mate.

[SippinTea]

Or, are you talking about survival tips if a guy begins to make an unwanted physical move on a woman?

There you go--that's the one. Sorry everyone, I guess I didn't explain very well. 

I hadn't intended to give any details, but it looks like I need to.

In a nutshell: Someone is giving me unwanted attention, is most decidedly not a Christian, seems to anger easily, is a disgruntled ex-employee of the music store I teach out of, got ahold of my cell number (off my business card), and comes in to the store and wants to 'chat' with me about things that are none of his business. Grrrrr.

Also, a friend who works somewhat nearby, said he has yelled very inappropriate comments at her across the parking lot. Granted, she doesn't dress modestly, but it's obvious he has a filthy mind.

So I guess I'm asking...
What can I do to make sure he knows I am not interested, without angering him?
Are there some things I might be doing unintentionally that would create an unsafe scenario?
What are practical things I can do (besides carrying mace) that would give me an advantage if he does try something ugly? ('Start dating a cop' won't count as a practical suggestion.) 

You could always have a companion accompany you to be more comfortable and feel safer

My 16-year-old brother offered to start going to work with me, but it's not realistic for him to be with me five days a week. Although I've no doubt he'd do it if I asked.

[Envelope]

WOW!!

Just be VERY careful is ALL I can say!!

Also, I don't know if you carry a cell phone or not, but don't let it make you lapse into a "false sense of security".  I don't know if any of you read or seen the news about a girl from Ark City KS (Jodi Sanderholm---a 19 year old student/dance teacher) but she HAD a cell phone, was in a public place (Subway) and a guy that was stalking her somehow managed to murder her!!  Her family all thought she was "safe" because she carried a cell phone......

I'm not trying to scare you to death, but all I'm saying is just be careful!! 

sharon

[Chseeads]

Ignore him if/when it's possible if he tries calling etc.  Just try to not show any interest in him in that regard.  If he comes to your work in person and addresses you, tell him your busy or whatever.....

If self-defense is needed, kick him hard in the region he least wants to be kicked...that should incapacitate him long enough for you to at least get a head start on running away.  

[SippinTea]

  Um....already thought of that one. I'm just hoping it won't be necessary.

As for phone calls: I'm not answering any numbers that aren't recognized by my phone. I may miss some potential students since that's my business line, but oh well. 

[Chseeads]

You could have surf come home and beat the tar out of him for you. 

[SippinTea]

I'd love to. But so far, I don't proof of any evil intentions on his part, it's just a strong hunch. And the fact that my Mom had a dream a couple nights ago that she felt was a warning--and since I hadn't said much to her about the guy, there wasn't really a pre-planted thought to base the dream on.

[Chseeads]

Brothers don't need proof to beat somebody up.   :grin:

[SippinTea]

  Thanks. I needed that chuckle.

[Raecheal]

um - If you're truly concerned, I'd file a report now so that if you have to go back later, there's a record of it.

[SippinTea]

File a report with someone other than my Dad, you mean?    What exactly are you thinking of?

[Raecheal]

Police report - if he's not letting you alone (even if it's not harm - yet), it's technically harassing you, isn't it? I'd make a note of it now so that if in the future, he dare try anything, the police are aware.

[Newsman]

OK, some unofficial and don't-hold-me-to-them-in-court thoughts...

A modestly dressed Pentecostal woman in a physical confrontation with a presumably stronger man.. some possibilities.

If grabbed, especially from behind, your heel in the top (arch?) of the man's foot may cause enough pain and discomfort both to allow a moment of escape, and slow any pursuit intended.

As mentioned by Seth, the groin is a target that can certainly distract a man..for a modeestly dressed woman, that may mean using a knee or hands, and that is an area that can be blocked more easily than some.

What do you have with you? A cold or hot drink can be used to at least temporarily blind the guy, and perhaps give you those moments to get away.

Change form your purse, thrown in the eyes, can give a moment's distraction to run away.

Hair sprey or other, particularly aerosol sprays to the man's eyes, can give you time to get away.

A couple of the main things is to stand there and duke it out, or call police while you're still near him..once he's distracted, _Get Away_ then call police.

I think I will ask our Sgt. Michael to see if he would like to post some thoughts, as he has much more both armed and unarmed combat traiing and experience than I have.

We may also, once the guys have posted, move this over to the Ladies Only thread for you Ladies to discuss amongst yourselves.


John

[myhaloisintheshop]

One thing I was always taught is to have your keys in your hand before you leave a building to go to your car.  Keys can make an awesome weapon!

[Newsman]

I can picture the keys being used very effectively..my thought was that it requires what is still almost face-to-face combat..perhaps they could be used for that moment's surpirse, and give the lady a chance to escape.


John 

[wire2john]

You can get a stun gun for about $40.00. They hurt. Bad.

[Bliss]

You can get a stun gun for about $40.00. They hurt. Bad.

I would love to have a stun gun.  

[wire2john]

Just don't zap someone in the neck or spine, it can cause permanent paralysis.