Your Apology Language

[Melody]

<a href="http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/apology/">Your Apology Language[/url]

I thought this was really interesting.  It's similiar to the Love languages. I have to admit, I'd never thought about how an apology needs to be in consideration w/ how that person will percieve it.  I have only focussed on trying to be clear, sincere and honest, but that may not be the only thing to think about.

Here is mine. 

3 Expressing Regret
8 Accepting Responsibility
5 Making Restitution
3 Genuinely Repenting
1 Requesting Apology

Accepting Responsibility

You have chosen Accepting Responsibility as your primary Apology Language. What you are looking for in an apology is maturity. You most want to hear the offending party say, I was wrong and I take responsibility for my actions.

Accept Responsibility
It is very difficult for some people to admit that they're wrong. It makes them doubt their self-worth, and no one likes to be portrayed as a failure. However, as adults, we must all admit that we are sinners and that we will make mistakes. We are going to make poor decisions that hurt our mates, and we are going to have to admit that we were wrong. We have to accept responsibility for our own failures. For many individuals, all they want is to hear the words, "I am wrong." If the apology neglects accepting responsibility for their actions, many partners will not feel as though the apology was meaningful and sincere. Many partners need to learn how to overcome their ego, the desire to not be viewed as a failure, and simply admit that their actions were wrong. For a mate who speaks this apology language, if an apology does not admit fault, it is not worth hearing. Being sincere in your apology means allowing yourself to be weak, and admitting that you make mistakes. Though this may be hard to do for some people, it makes a world of a difference to your partner who speaks this language.

Make Restitution
In our society, many people believe that wrong acts demand justice. The one who commits the crime should pay for their wrongdoing. A mate who speaks this love language feels the same way towards apologies. They believe that in order to be sincere, the person who is apologizing should justify their actions. The mate who's been hurt simply wants to hear that their mate still loves them.

There are many effective ways to demonstrate sincerity in an apology. Each mate must learn the other's love language in order to complete the act of restitution. Though some mates may feel a though all is forgotten with a bouquet of flowers, that may not necessarily work for all mates. Every mate should uncover what their partner's main love language is (Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Receiving Gifts) and use that specific language in order to make restitutions in the most effective way.

For a mate whose primary apology language is making restitutions, no matter how often you say "I'm sorry", or "I was wrong", your mate will never find the apology sincere. You must show strong efforts for making amends. A genuine apology will be accompanied by the assurance that you still love your mate 
and have a desire to right the wrong-doings committed.

<a href="http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-languages-of-apology/">Apology Language Descriptions[/url]

[EricShane]

never thought about it.. but interesting

[Babs]

"like"

very good article

[sunlight]

interesting...

[Niki]

Just reading the descriptions I'd say that Accepting Responsibility, Making Restitution and Genuinely Repenting are most important to me. Admit you're wrong, make amends/right your wrongs and change your ways.

Funny that when I took the quiz it said that my strongest apology lanuage is Expressing Regret. Yet when I read the description expressing regret doesn't seem like enough to me to prove that a person is sorry for what they did. I think part of the reason why the numbers don't seem right is because I think I expect different types of apologies from different people. (And I did choose different desired responses depending on the person and the circumstance.)

For instance, because there's more at stake with my husband, I would expect more than just "I'm sorry for what I did" when he's done me wrong. When it's someone you live with (or should live with), they need to show  that they're sorry, not just say it, and they need to make it up to me and change their ways.

My scores:

10    Expressing Regret
6    Accepting Responsibility
2    Making Restitution
1    Genuinely Repenting
1    Requesting Apology

Though I don't agree with this when I read the descriptions. I would say it's more like 10 for Accepting Responsibility, 7 or 8 for Making Restitution and about a 5 for Genuinely Repenting. Though I don't know if those kind of numbers are possible when taking the quiz.

[Melody]

That's interesting too Niki!  I answered according to the situation it listed.  I think I'm looking for basically the same thing no matter who it is.  However, it's not relevant to expect "our apology language" from others but to understand others for more effective relationships.

Nathan scored similiar to me which does help me know what is the most effective in our relationship.

[(R.I.P.) YooperYankDude]

Hmmm... I'll have to look more into this when I am not so tired... lol