Arkansas Police Station Upgrades to Body Imaging Scanners

[Melody]

Due to the recent investigations surrounding metal detectors in the county, local Police station has chosen to upgrade to a body imaging scanners. 

All units must participate in taking a shift manning the scanner.  The officers seem to be indifferent noting all the other disenchanting things they must visually endure on the job.

However, the police officers wives are not as indifferent on the matter.  They have formed a coalition against the use of body scanners, labeling themselves as Females Against Tsa.

One officer, who wishes to remain anonymous, detailed the stress body scanners have brought on his marriage...

"I was simply recounting my day as I always do, to my loverly wife Lou, and WHAM! out of nowhere our frying pan slipped right out of her hands.  She was in shock, the poor girl, that body scanners were so detailed, that she dropped the pan.  She insisted I not say another word."

Due to the graphic nature and anonymity requested, the sketch artist provided an authentic depiction of the wound.



We were even able to obtain a re-enacted video of the accident.

Several issues have transpired since the installation of the body scanner.  One police officer on duty, stationed at the scanner mistook a 83 year old woman's travel size hair dryer for a pistol and promptly tackled her.  She recovered fully as she was only hit at her knees.  The officer is currently on traffic duty. 

Previous to this account, a local baker delivered a birthday cake and was also zealously taken down.  It is unclear if the cake knife was identified as a threat or that officer present was suffering from hypoglycemia.  The cake was lost and the baker is considering pressing charges for impersonation of an adult officer. 

The officer has been confirmed as an adult but was unable for comment because he was directing traffic.