Be prepared!
This is for when the first one gets locked. ;)
:lurk:
:waving:
If you are gluten intolerant but eat it anyway, does that make you a gluten for punishment? ~~ Perry Hall
If a girl breaks up with her guy, and the guy works at a factory that makes lawnmowers, does she write him a John Deere letter?
Cliff Roosa
If at first you don't succeed, forget sky diving.
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look too surprised.
While we are postponing, life speeds by.
Seneca
Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
Sam Ewing
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Napoleon Bonaparte
"When you sing 'I'm so glad Jesus lifted me,' don't make it sound like the elevator got stuck between floors."
In a similar vein:
"If you're glad Jesus saved you, let your face know it."
"Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future."
Fulton Oursler
:like:
"The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who is doing it."
I spent a lifetime learning that most people love you as long as you play by their rules, or until you have nothing left to give. --- Br Jamie Dutton
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination
Mark Twain
"Don't join the loudness race which has no winners."
Err... well, this one only applies to people who make music, specifically to use of compressors. Normal people, ignore this one.
Sometimes you type "yippeee" and auto-correct replaces it with "Tupperware." So, Tupperware! is now my new exclamation of excitement. - Amber
(posted this one just for mel lol)
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.
Freya Madeline Stark
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Will Rogers
"There are more bits of information in the broadcast of one television station in one year than in every book ever written. But some bits have more value than others."
Quote from: Just Plain Ole Barb on February 22, 2011, 12:46:54 AM
Sometimes you type "yippeee" and auto-correct replaces it with "Tupperware." So, Tupperware! is now my new exclamation of excitement. - Amber
(posted this one just for mel lol)
I think I'm gonna put this on my FB... ;)
thats where i got it from lol someone with an iphone lol
I bet! Auto correct is always good for a laugh!
"Ham and eggs - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig." ~
Author unknown
When you have got an elephant by the hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
Abraham Lincoln
"When elephants fight, the grass loses."
"Revenge is a poor victory. Nobody ever made a sting heal faster by killing the hornet after it stung him."
Quote from: Psalm_97 on February 25, 2011, 04:59:52 AM
"Revenge is a poor victory. Nobody ever made a sting heal faster by killing the hornet after it stung him."
But it'll keep the next person from getting stung ;)
Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.
Eric Hoffer
Profanity is the attempt of a weak mind to express itself forcefully.
It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
James Gordon M.D.
"Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God." —Corrie Ten Boom
Times have always been tough. No matter how the economy is, people talk about these are tough times. The only times that aren't tough are the ones we look back on.
That's sad, but true. Is there ever a time when people aren't calling the present "tough times?"
"Don't tell them that Jesus loves them until you're ready to love them".
-- Author Unknown
"What if God is asking us for a sign?"
Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
George Bernard Shaw
Had it on my FB the other day:
Be careful who you let in your heart. Only a few care. Most are just curious....
Quote from: Psalm_97 on March 05, 2011, 09:42:06 PM
"What if God is asking us for a sign?"
Im going to use that one! lol
"To be nobody but myself -- in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make me like everybody else -- means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting."
~ E.E. Cummings (In "Selected Letters," 1955)
"Without forgiveness, there's no future"
Desmond Tutu
"Do your little bit of good where you are; its those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world."
Desmond Tutu
<erno> Hmm... I've lost a computer. Literally *lost* it. It responds to ping, I can access it over the network, it works perfectly, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.
<wolf> 1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A
<wolf> 2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B
<wolf> 3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business
Reply Mail Envelope.
<wolf> 4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold
in your hand.
<wolf> 5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away
whistling.
<wolf> I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies
telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather
then my application. They informed me that they are not pleased that
they footed the bill for the junk I sent them. I reply with "It says
Business Reply Mail. I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your
business is more successful." They promptly hang up on me.
<wolf> Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an
added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope
so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about
the money. I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back.
<wolf> I hold in my hand at this very moment a check from GTE Visa for
exactly 33 cents.
People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.
- Elizabeth Kubler-Ros
"What a lovely thing a rose is!... There is nothing in which deduction is so necessary as in religion. It can be built up as an exact science by the reasoner. Our highest assurance of the goodness of Providence seems to me to rest in the flowers. All other things, our powers, our desires, our food, are all really necessary for our existence in the first instance. But this rose is an extra. Its smell and its colour are an embellishment of life, not a condition of it. It is only goodness which gives extras... we have much to hope from the flowers."
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
A single day is enough to make us a little larger.
Paul Klee
Or...............
A single meal is enough to make us a little larger.
Jason Harvell
You pick. lol
HOPE is the ability to hear the music of the future...FAITH is having the courage to dance to it today!
Quote from: taco_harvell on March 19, 2011, 08:44:35 PM
HOPE is the ability to hear the music of the future...FAITH is having the courage to dance to it today!
like like like!
"When we preach Christ crucified, we have no reason to stammer, or stutter, or hesitate, or apologize; there is nothing in the gospel of which we have any cause to be ashamed." (C.H. Spurgeon)
Quote from: taco_harvell on March 20, 2011, 03:43:04 AM
"When we preach Christ crucified, we have no reason to stammer, or stutter, or hesitate, or apologize; there is nothing in the gospel of which we have any cause to be ashamed." (C.H. Spurgeon)
Amen! I get upset when preachers are afraid they will offend someone so they apologise for the sermon God gave them. It weakens the conviction the sermon is supposed to bring. :-\
"Thinking is the greatest torture in the world for most people." ~~
Unknown
Quotes for tonight;
"O Sleep, O Gentle Sleep, Natures Soft Nurse, How Have I Frightend Thee, That Thou No More Wilt Weigh my Eye-Lids Down And Steep My Senses In Forgetfulness?"
— William Shakespeare
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.
"Always keep several get well cards on the mantle - if unexpected guests arrive, they'll think you've been sick and unable to clean."
"Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled."
"The only thing that wakes you up faster than coffee is spilled coffee."
"I have stained glass windows in my house. Stupid pigeons."
"We can put television in its proper light by supposing that Gutenberg's great invention had been directed at printing only comic books."
~ Robert M. Hutchins
Quote from: Psalm_97 on March 24, 2011, 01:31:02 PM
"The only thing that wakes you up faster than coffee is spilled coffee."
True statement.
Oh yeah, you would know if anyone would. :biglaugh:
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
Bill Cosby
Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere.
G. K. Chesterton
He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
Quote from: taco_harvell on March 25, 2011, 04:02:37 AM
He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
You should never quote this while my wife has the potential to see it. Singlehandedly, you may have just shut down my acquisition of toys. :pound:
"As a child, I was the kind my mother wouldn't let me play with."
Quote from: five-oh on March 25, 2011, 11:38:03 AM
Quote from: taco_harvell on March 25, 2011, 04:02:37 AM
He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
You should never quote this while my wife has the potential to see it. Singlehandedly, you may have just shut down my acquisition of toys. :pound:
:Prepares to send this to Five-Oh's Better Half via Private Message and e-mail:
The level of your worry reflects the size of your faith.
"People never grow up; they just learn how to act in public."
"Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up."
Quote from: taco_harvell on March 26, 2011, 02:17:27 AM
Quote from: five-oh on March 25, 2011, 11:38:03 AM
Quote from: taco_harvell on March 25, 2011, 04:02:37 AM
He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
You should never quote this while my wife has the potential to see it. Singlehandedly, you may have just shut down my acquisition of toys. :pound:
:Prepares to send this to Five-Oh's Better Half via Private Message and e-mail:
* Prepares to kill Taco and hide the body- perhaps with a new toy, that diesel front end loader I've been wanting for absolutely no reason. :biglaugh:
"The world has to learn that the actual pleasure derived from material things is of rather low quality on the whole and less even in quantity than it looks to those who have not tried it."
Oliver Wendell Holmes
The externals are simply so many props; everything we need is within us.
Etty Hillesum
We don't need to increase our goods nearly as much as scaling down our wants. Not wanting some thing is as good as possessing it.
Donald Horban
The above quote is dedicated to Five-Oh, and I will be glad to share it with your better half if you wish me too. (Maybe even if you don't wish me too.) lol
Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at evening.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
Nelson Mandela
There are a few people I love to hear talk. Nelson Mandela is one of them.
"you better check yo self befo you wreck yo self"
Getting the right people to get things done allows you to get things done that the wrong people shouldn't have the right to keep the right people from doing. Bunch and Breeze
I was just coming in here to post that!
I guess you follow them too, eh? ;)
Actually that one makes sense.
Quote from: MelodyB on March 28, 2011, 02:12:48 PM
I was just coming in here to post that!
I guess you follow them too, eh? ;)
lol gmta
"A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water."
"A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing and the lawn mower is broken."
Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away.
Thomas Fuller
QuoteGifts from God are not meant to be returned or exchanged for something WE would rather have. And they are not meant to sit on a shelf. God picks them just for you and He wants you to use them.
posted by my friend Tanya
Another post by my friend Tanya
QuoteSaw a church sign yesterday that'll preach! God wants full custody not just weekend visits!!
The great thing in this world is not so much where you stand, as in what direction you are moving.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
"A church member waiting to be asked to serve in his own church is just like the member of a family waiting to be invited to pull weeds in front of the house where he lives."
In honor of Seth's trouble with morons today:
"If it weren't for having to deal with people, everyone would go to Heaven." :roll:
"The best present I ever got wasn't on Christmas or my birthday. It was something a friend saw at a store and knew I would love, so she bought it, wrapped it, gave me it and said, "Happy Tuesday!" :D
Found in a recent email - and startlingly effective!
Proven ways to get along better with EVERYONE:
1. Before you say anything to anyone, ask yourself 3 things:
- Is it true?
- Is it kind?
- Is it necessary?
2. Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully.
3. Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone.
4. Refuse to talk negatively about others; don't gossip and don't listen to gossip. Remember something negative can be true and still be gossip.
5. Have a forgiving view of people. Believe that most people are doing the best they can.
6. Keep an open mind; discuss, but don't argue. (It is possible to disagree without being disagreeable.)
7. Forget about counting to 10. Count to 1,000 before doing or saying anything that could make matters worse.
8. Let your virtues speak for themselves.
9. If someone criticizes you, see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying; if so, make changes. If there is no truth to the criticism, ignore it and live so that no one will believe the negative remark.
10. Cultivate your sense of humor; laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
11. Do not seek so much to be consoled, as to console; do not seek so much to be understood, as to understand; do not seek so much to be loved as to love.
The sentence after this one is true. The sentence before this one is false.
The poster previous to this one is nuts. The poster following this one is nuts, also. :lol:
Lol love it!
"If people wear jogging suits to go jogging, swim in swimsuits and smoke in smoking jackets... I'm not going near ANYONE who is wearing a windbreaker!"
:laughat:
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
H. L. Mencken
lol, these are great. Where do you guys find this stuff?
In various places. I get a lot from the Cybersalt digest. http://www.cybersalt.org
They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.
Sir Francis Bacon
I don't really trust a sane person.
Lyle Alzado
It isn't the thing you do, friend, it's the thing you leave undone,
Which gives you the bitter heartache, at the setting of the sun:
The tender words unspoken, the letter you did not write,
The flowers you might have sent, are your haunting ghosts at night.
The stone you might have lifted, out of a dear friend's way,
The bit of heart-some counsel you were hurried too much to say:
The loving touch of a helping hand, the gentle and winsome tone,
That you had no time or thought for, with troubles enough of your own.
These little acts of kindness, so easily out of mind,
These chances to be angels, which even mortals find.
They come in night and silence, each chill reproachful wraith,
When hope is faint and flagging, and a blight has dropped on faith.
For life is all too short, friend, and sorrow is all to great,
To suffer our slow compassion, that tarries until too late.
So, it's not the things you do, it's the deeds you leave undone,
Which gives you a bitter heartache, at the setting of the sun.
- Bertha A. Lawson
"Can't no bunny do me like Jesus, can't no bunny do me like the Lord!"
Seth Eads
There is a family nobody likes to meet,
They live, it is said, on Complaining Street.
In the city of Never-Are Satisfied,
The River of Discontent beside.
They growl at that, and they growl at this;
Whatever comes there is something amiss;
And whether their station be high or humble,
They are known by the name of Grumble.
The weather is always too hot or too cold,
Summer and winter alike they scold;
Nothing goes right with the folks you meet
Down on that gloomy Complaining Street.
They growl at the rain, and they growl at the sun;
In fact, their growling is never done.
And if everything pleased them, there isn't a doubt
They'd growl that they'd nothing to grumble about!
And the worst thing is that if anyone stays
Among them too long he will learn their ways,
And before he dreams of the terrible jumble
He's adopted into the family of Grumble.
So it were wisest to keep our feet
From wandering into Grumbling Street.
And never to growl whatever we do,
Lest we be mistaken for Grumblers too.
- By L. M. Montgomery
Cholestrophobia: The fear of frying.
"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."
- Will Rogers
"To get divorced because love has died is like selling your car because it's run out of gas".
Quote from: Psalm_97 on March 05, 2011, 09:42:06 PM
"What if God is asking us for a sign?"
WOW. revelation!
It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
John Andrew Holmes
Live, Laugh, Love. If that doesn't work, Raise, Aim and Fire.
Quote from: Babs on May 05, 2011, 02:42:18 AM
Live, Laugh, Love. If that doesn't work, Raise, Aim and Fire.
Where's the "like ten thousand times" button?!?
Quote from: five-oh on May 05, 2011, 04:41:51 AM
Quote from: Babs on May 05, 2011, 02:42:18 AM
Live, Laugh, Love. If that doesn't work, Raise, Aim and Fire.
Where's the "like ten thousand times" button?!?
lol i saw it on fb and knew several of us would like it :hypocrite:
If you think about it, the Earth is bi-polar.
This may explain a lot.
Kings Clown
Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life.
Adele Brookman
* Wash my mouth out with soap * it up and deal with it
-my mom's best advice to me in honor of mothers day
Saw this on FB, thought it was cute..
QuoteDon't allow people, trials and tribulations to cause you to have the tendencies of an Ostrich. You hide your head in the sand to avoid them not realizing the one thing that is still exposed. Your Behind!!! Face your trials and tribulations head on before you get kicked in the BEHIND!
God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things.
Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.
.
:eyebrow:
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." ~ Mark Twain
"My main problem with reading books is getting past the idea that the author knows more about the subject than I do." ~ James L. Smith
"Christ died for men precisely because men are not worth dying for; to make them worth it."
~ C. S. Lewis
Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God.
Heywood Broun
A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top .
Unknown
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
Lao Tzu
"I have people tell me "I just want God to use me, I want to be used in the church"... ten years later they're sitting in my office, "All this church does is use me, I'm tired of being used around here." Hallelujah, That's what you were praying for, I thought God answered your prayer."
-Douglas Klinedinst
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
Unknown
:lol:
"Your child has started growing up when he stops asking you where he came from and starts refusing to tell you where he's going."
BunchandBreeze: Regardless if you think your glass is half full or half empty or both...go ahead & top it off. That way you ain't got to wonder.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
"Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic."
The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain.
Kahlil Gibran
"Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and the world laughs at you."
- Rob P, age 8
"We know what a person thinks not when he tells us what he thinks, but by his actions."
Isaac Bashevis Singer
Quote from: taco_harvell on May 04, 2011, 04:01:00 AM
It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
John Andrew Holmes
I want to know what the "trifling exception" is.
You... or if I'm reading the quote it's me. ;)
"An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises."
Mae West
"A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions."
Confucius
"There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up."
John Andrew Holmes
I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.
Plutarch
I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world.
Thomas A. Edison
Quote from: IowaSkirtGirl on July 20, 2011, 01:04:58 PM
I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world.
Thomas A. Edison
This should be my signature quote! Love it!
Quote from: five-oh on July 20, 2011, 01:59:59 PM
Quote from: IowaSkirtGirl on July 20, 2011, 01:04:58 PM
I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world.
Thomas A. Edison
This should be my signature quote! Love it!
Who did you think I was talkin about :-p
Quote from: IowaSkirtGirl on July 20, 2011, 02:34:00 PM
Quote from: five-oh on July 20, 2011, 01:59:59 PM
Quote from: IowaSkirtGirl on July 20, 2011, 01:04:58 PM
I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world.
Thomas A. Edison
This should be my signature quote! Love it!
Who did you think I was talkin about :-p
:cloud9:...... It is now my signature line.... And I'm sure Mini is jealous. :biglaugh:
Quote from: The Purple Fuzzy on July 18, 2011, 07:55:46 PM
You... or if I'm reading the quote it's me. ;)
Haha, now I get it!
Quote from: five-oh on July 20, 2011, 01:59:59 PM
Quote from: IowaSkirtGirl on July 20, 2011, 01:04:58 PM
I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world.
Thomas A. Edison
This should be my signature quote! Love it!
I would personally trust most men in overalls more than men in suits. :/
"No man can become rich without himself enriching others"
Andrew Carnegie
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming more interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you"
Dale Carnegie
There are only two people who can tell you the truth about yourself - an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly.~ ~ Antisthenes
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Politicians are a lot like diapers, they need to be changed often and for the same reason..."
If any occupation or association is found to hinder our communion with God or our enjoyment of spiritual things, then it must be abandoned. Anything in my habits or ways which mars happy fellowship with the brethren or robs me of power in service, is to be unsparingly judged and made an end of-- 'burned.' Whatever I cannot do for God's glory must be avoided. - A.W. Pink
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?
Will Rogers
"Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it." ~~ unknown author
Quote from: Tricia Lea on July 25, 2011, 03:43:30 AM
"Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it." ~~ unknown author
*snicker*
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'"
Charles M. Schulz
Whenever evil befalls us, we ought to ask ourselves, after the first suffering, how we can turn it into good. So shall we take occasion, from one bitter root, to raise perhaps many flowers.
Leigh Hunt
"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already."
Dave Barry
...for freedom is useless if it is not used. - Ike.
"The only thing we have to fear on the planet is man"
Carl Gustav Jung
"Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real."
- Iris Murdoch
Quote from: taco_harvell on July 11, 2011, 03:55:34 AM
The deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain.
Kahlil Gibran
Yeah. That.
Life is too short
Life is too short to fight over the small stuff
Life is too short to be stressed
Life is too short to not pursue every dream you have
Life is too short to not love with everything you've got
Life is too short to not cherish every friendship
Life is too short to waste time hating your enemies
Life is too short to play it safe
Life is too short to not know your Maker
Life is too short to let it cost you your soul
Life is too short
Trenton Johnson
Ruby, you have a very smart family!
"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us happy is something to be enthusiastic about."
Charles Kingsley
"To make use of a lawyer I ne'er was inclined
They are sharks of humanity, they prey on mankind
To avoid this foul breed, my own will I now draw
May I ever escape coming under their claw."
- Unknown author, but I'd like to have known him. :great:
"To know what people really think, pay regard to what they do, rather than what they say."
Rene Descartes
"When you have to make a choice and don't make it, that is in itself a choice."
William James
Life is like a doughnut. You're either in the dough or in the hole.
"Anyone who starts a sentence with 'With all due respect...' is about to insult you."
"I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving. To reach the port of heaven, we must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it, but we must sail and not drift, nor lie at anchor."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes
"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about."- Charles Kingsley
"You are what you do. It's about actions."
Bill Maher
"Your purpose in life is to use your gifts and talents to help other people. Your journey in life teaches you how to do that."
Tom Krause
Calvin: Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak.
Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
"Google before you tweet is the new think before you speak."
Which unfortunately ties right in with this... http://xkcd.com/903/
Which explains why internet access is so important these days. I wonder what I know without a computer?
"Some people are motivated by carrots, others by sticks, but nobody is motivated by carrot sticks."
"People will not remember everything you say, they will not remember everything you do - but they will always remember how you made them feel."
A quote very near and dear to my own heart:
"It's getting colder...
BUGS ARE DYING BY THE TRUCK LOAD! BWHAHAHA! GOOD RIDDANCE TO THEM ALL!
I like fall." :)
- Calvin and Hobbes
"Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment. The LORD detests lying lips but He delights in them that are truthful."
Mom: God delights in you. :D I woke up thinking that this morning...
"madder than an albino hitch hiking in a snow storm."
-Larry the cable guy
"So I was watching a halloween marathon, some kind of kitschy thing where they dress up in costume to run a marathon. I noticed one runner was dressed as a chicken and another runner was dressed as an egg. Hmm, this could be interesting..."
"Politicians are people who, when they see the light at the end of the tunnel, order more tunnel."
- John Quintan
"One today is worth two tomorrows."
- Benjamin Franklin
"In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich."
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer
A few quotes from Andy Rooney who just passed away
"People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe."
Andy Rooney
"The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong."
Andy Rooney
"Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter'"
Andy Rooney
Got this in an email:
Burned Biscuits
When I was a kid, my Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now
and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made
breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my
Mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front
of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed!
Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my Mom and ask me how
my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do
remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that ugly burned biscuit.
He ate every bite of that thing...never made a face nor uttered a word about
it!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my Mom
apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he
said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits every now and then."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he
really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your
Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a
little burned biscuit never hurt anyone!"
As I've grown older, I've thought about that many times. Life is full of
imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything
and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what
I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults
and choosing to celebrate each other's differences is one of the most
important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
And that's my prayer for you today...that you will learn to take the good,
the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God.
Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a
relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!
We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the
base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or
friendship!
Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep it in
your own.
But let a guy get a mcdouble that someone forgot to put pickles on one time, just once, and it's the end of the world. You wouldn't believe how upset people can get over a sandwich they paid a WHOLE DOLLAR for. You'd think they had special ordered it for the Pope and paid $7,000 for it.
Yes it gets that bad. I've seen people about to come over the counter because of a 99 cent drink.
We should have had the burnt biscuit story posted on the front counter and at the drive thru intercom.
Quote from: Psalm_97 on November 18, 2011, 08:21:00 AM
But let a guy get a mcdouble that someone forgot to put pickles on one time, just once, and it's the end of the world. You wouldn't believe how upset people can get over a sandwich they paid a WHOLE DOLLAR for. You'd think they had special ordered it for the Pope and paid $7,000 for it.
Yes it gets that bad. I've seen people about to come over the counter because of a 99 cent drink.
We should have had the burnt biscuit story posted on the front counter and at the drive thru intercom.
You've never met my wife. :laughhard: She's polite, but will bring a sandwich back repeatedly if that's what it takes to get it right.... she would not have taken the time to read the story. :lol:
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.
Friedrich Nietzsche
It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. ~Sally Field
A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her. ~David Brinkley
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to. ~W.C. Fields
The courage to be is the courage to accept oneself, in spite of being unacceptable. ~Paul Tillich
The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. ~Sonya Friedman
RuthAnne H. "Thank God for the Victorias who actually can keep a few secrets!"
You know you're old if you can remember when bacon, eggs and sunshine were all good for you.
"The things that will destroy America are prosperity at any price, peace at any price, safety first instead of duty first, love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life."
- Theodore Roosevelt
'If Eve would have put that apple in a fruitcake Adam would have never ate it and we'd still be in paradise today.' -Sister Julia (Child of God), from Nuncrackers [the play I'm in :cool:]
"It's mathematically impossible for everyone to be above average. But there's no reason you can't be."
- John F. Harrison
"Disciples of Christ should not let concerns about what they do or do not have to do blind them to the truth about what they ought to do. Something can be right without being required. A person who understands that will not be myopically focused on what you can prove he must do."
- Rev. John F. Harrison
From his book, "Making Mammon Serve You: A biblical guide for money mastery."
"I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see."
- JohnBurroughs
"You know how some dogs get really fat because everyone is always feeding them? People want to feed them because the dogs act so grateful. If people acted more grateful for what they got, they'd have a lot more shared with them too."
"May you live all the days of your life."
- Jonathan Swift
No, that's not as silly as it seems. Some people spend a lot of their life just existing.
I've been talking about you a lot with the Lord,
There was so much I wanted to say,
I told Him how thankful and helpful you are,
how I treasure you more every day.
I tried to describe how just having you there
can make things more special and fun.
I said how loyal you are to your friends,
and I thanked him for making me one.
And I told him how much I keep learning from you,
how your faith is inspiring to see.
Then I asked Him if He'd let you know how I feel,
and He said you should hear it from me.
- Unknown
Quote from: Psalm_97 on October 25, 2011, 03:26:44 PM
"So I was watching a halloween marathon, some kind of kitschy thing where they dress up in costume to run a marathon. I noticed one runner was dressed as a chicken and another runner was dressed as an egg. Hmm, this could be interesting..."
Sooo... Which came first??!??!??!??!
History does not relate.
But in other news, flight 404 is about to cross the Bermuda Triangle.
"Error 404: File not found"
Yeah, I'm guessing that flight's a goner. :roll:
Quote from: RainbowJingles on January 09, 2012, 06:05:56 AM
Quote from: Psalm_97 on October 25, 2011, 03:26:44 PM
"So I was watching a halloween marathon, some kind of kitschy thing where they dress up in costume to run a marathon. I noticed one runner was dressed as a chicken and another runner was dressed as an egg. Hmm, this could be interesting..."
Sooo... Which came first??!??!??!??!
Made me think of this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuRM7024Llg
I was humming that song for a long time after I posted that, PF! lol
That's another bone of contention. Creationists say the chicken came first because God created animals. Evolutionists say the egg came first because the creature that eventually evolved into a chicken would not be a true chicken, but the egg the chicken-prototype laid would hatch and grow up to be the first true chicken.
In other news, I ate five scrambled eggs for breakfast. So for breakfast, the egg came first. :D
In other, other news, I do believe we have successfully hijacked this thread. Go us! :thumbsup2:
I *believe* the proper forum-ese for that is that we have successfully :pwink: ed the thread.
That was before my time.
Quote for the day: "History is just one thing after another."
"The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be."
- Anne Frank
<jamesd> "... being a Linux user is sort of like living in a house inhabited by a large family of carpenters and architects. Every morning when you wake up, the house is a little different. Maybe there is a new turret, or some walls have moved. Or perhaps someone has temporarily removed the floor under your bed."
* kop_ (~2@sdn-ap-019watacoP0124.dialsprint.net) has joined #solaris
<sheenmaster> jamesd: being an OpenServer or UNIXWare user is like living in a house that hasn't been touched by a carpenter or inspected by an architect in years. Every morning when you wake up, the neighbor's house is a little better. You are just thankful that the floor hasn't fallen out from beneath your bed, cause you know it'll be half a decade before its fixed.
* RainbowW has quit (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))
<sheenmaster> jamesd: being a Windows user is like living is a cheap vegas hotel. Every morning, you wake up with new bug bites. The floor beneath your bed is likely to fall through at any time, but at least you can burn the hotel down and rebuild it or move to another room.
<jamesd> "Memory is like gasoline. You use it up when you are running. Of course you get it all back when you reboot..."
<jamesd> -- Actual explanation obtained from the Micro$oft help desk.
<sheenmaster> haha
<sheenmaster> Curse you Microsoft for coming up with better jokes than we do!
"It is not beauty that endears, it's love that makes us see beauty."
Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910); Russian author
Rearrange the letters in SLOT MACHINES and you get CASH LOST IN ME.
"Sometimes you're delayed where you are because God know's there's a storm where you're headed."
When your idea of "truth" becomes so exclusive that only you can understand it and everyone else is wrong you are in a dangerous place.-Me
"Tell me and I will forget. Show me and I may remember. Involve me and I will understand."
As a children's church teacher, I can testify this is true. My most effective tool is, "Let's see... I need a volunteer." ;)
Calvin:
Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads.
Hobbes:
I wonder which you are.
Calvin:
I pragmatically turn my whims into principles!
I think that I shall never see
A better cheese than that called Brie
My brother goes for Danish blue
My boss is nuts for Port du Salut
Some folks in town all declare
The tops in cheese is Camembert
To each his own, but as for me,
I cast my vote for creamy Brie
"Wise men speak because they have something to say. Fools speak because they have to say something."
"A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell."
- C.S. Lewis
"Remember you are not managing an inconvenience, you are raising a human being" ... Kittie Frantz
You don't fall in love, you fall into mutual weirdness.
"A great many of those who 'debunk' traditional values have in the background values of their own which they believe to be immune from the debunking process."
- C.S. Lewis
QuoteThe drying process is one of uncertainty. Your world has been spinning out of control when you suddenly come to a halt. Nothing is happening. You sit...and sit. You may even wonder if you've ended up in the Potter's field after all. "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest." (Psalm 22:1-2) As lonely as you may feel, God hasn't forgotten about you. Just wait...
David Johnson
'It's better to * Wash my mouth out with soap * it up now than to have to * Wash my mouth out with soap * it in later.'
-quote from the YWCA board
:biglaugh:
so did someone edit me or does it do it automatically?
automatically.
Around here, when you wanna use the term "su.ck" in a non offensive way, you can say "vacuums".
What if we were talking about those build-your-own crazy straws?
It's not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings. - Ann Landers (this was attributed to Ann Landers, but I didn't fact check because I like the quote no matter who said it)
ah i see. then it's better to get your hind end in gear today than to have a tight fitting waist band later. is that more PG for ya GP? :cool:
Dear Editor: I object to your newspaper referring to the government as "spending money like a drunk sailor on shore leave." I am a retired veteran who served in the Navy on the USS Delaware and I can tell you that WE stopped when we ran out of money.
I forget who said it, but he was a retired vet.
"It is impossible to love your neighbor as yourself until you realize - not just in your head, but in your heart - that you are not any better than he is." - Unknown
QuotePassion will compel a man beyond comfort to sacrifice.
"Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once."
"Learn from the mistakes of others. You'll never have enough time in one lifetime to make them all yourself."
"It is important to follow biblical principles in our discussion. How we decide could be as significant as exactly what we decide. If we are right in our stand but wrong in our spirit, then we are wrong." - David Bernard
"We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be"
- C.S Lewis
Quote for the day: "I don't like making plans for my day, because then the word 'premeditated' gets thrown around in the courtroom."
"When the old temptations come back, it's my body's way of telling me "You're not fasting enough." Dadburn flesh gettin' too uppity again, gotta put it back down."
I thought this had some good points:
FOLLOWING YOUR CALL
One man says it really happened. At the conclusion of his medical exam, the doctor asked him if he would please call in the next patient. So, he opened the waiting room door and called, "Mrs. Colchester, please." Then he left the doctor's office.
He had walked some distance along the street outside when he heard Mrs. Colchester's voice behind him, "Where are we going?"
She knew she was being called, but she misunderstood the intent. I wonder if she made it back in time for her appointment.
There are times I can relate to her. I, too, have experienced "callings" in my life, though mine have taken the form of callings to a certain vocation or a particular life-direction. And sometimes I've been confused about exactly where I am going when following that voice and just as uncertain about where I may end up.
It's an old-fashioned word, "calling." It can mean a profession or line of work. Or even a strong inner urge or impulse. In my case, callings have led me to dedicate myself to something I believed I was meant to do in life.
Oprah Winfrey says this about callings: "I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint – and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you."
It is a satisfying thing when we feel called to a worthy purpose. How beautiful (and how rare) it is to believe we are doing just the thing we're meant to do in this life. But is it realistic to think we must do THE ONE THING we were meant to do? How about doing ONE OF THE THINGS we are passionate about? Let me explain.
Consider a Swiss Army pocketknife. It is a multipurpose tool. It can cut, saw, file, snip and open up cans and jars. With it, one can turn a screw, pull out a splinter, pop the cork in a wine bottle and even pick one's teeth. (My advice: never leave home without one.)
You and I are more like Swiss Army knives than butter knives or steak knives. We can DO more than one thing. We can LOVE more than one thing. We can BE more than one thing. Likewise, we may be called to more than one thing.
Like Swiss Army knives, we have options. Ours is to discover those truly worthwhile things we feel led to do and be – things we love, that are life-affirming and deserve our best – and then to commit to them, to give ourselves over fully to them and pursue them with joy. That is what it means to be called. And that is how to make a life count.
But beware of this about callings: they may not lead us where we intended to go or even where we want to go. If we choose to follow, we may have to be willing to let go of the life we already planned and accept whatever is waiting for us. And if the calling is true, though we may not have gone where we intended, we will surely end up where we need to be.
It is like an adventure. Are you ready?
-- Steve Goodier
"Mama always used to say that the good Lord only wanted vessels, and empty ones at that, empty ones the he could fill" from the book Elderberry Croft by Becky Doughty
On forum threads
An odd regression
Ancient memes
Find new expression
Burma Shave
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist,
While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
Sincerely,
the Opportunist.
"You know your growing in grace when people notice that you've stopped correcting there mistakes."
All Used Up
A well-known surgeon was attending a dinner party and watched the host adroitly carve and slice the large turkey for his guests.
When he finished slicing, the host asked, "How did I do, Doc? I think I'd make a pretty good surgeon, don't you?"
"Perhaps," said the physician. "But anyone can take them apart. Now let's see you put it back together again."
Like surgery, some tasks require special talent, skill or training. There are those who have what it takes to work in an operating room. Others have the kind of aptitude needed to teach a class or repair an automobile, and still others can cook a delicious meal, play a musical instrument well enough that folks want to listen or solve difficult mathematical problems. Some people have a natural ability to relate to others, some people are imaginative problem-solvers, some people can organize almost anything and others possess the gift of empathy. I have yet to meet anyone who does not exhibit a unique talent or ability.
But Spanish cellist Pablo Casals said it well: "Don't be vain because you happen to have talent. You are not responsible for that; it was not of your doing. What you do with your talent is what matters."
And what's the best thing to do with talent and ability? Use it. Use it generously – even extravagantly. And use it for good.
Erma Bombeck was known for her humorous journalism. But she frequently seasoned her writing with pinches of wisdom. At the end of a newspaper column on March 10, 1987, Bombeck wrote these words:
"I always had a dream that when I am asked to give an accounting of my life to a higher court, it will go like this: 'So, empty your pockets. What have you got left of your life? Any dreams that were unfulfilled? Any unused talent that we gave you when you were born that you still have left? Any unsaid compliments or bits of love that you haven't spread around?
"And I will answer, 'I've nothing to return. I spent everything you gave me. I'm as naked as the day I was born.'"
She would agree that what we do with what we're given is what matters.
My question is this: what would you find if you emptied your pockets today? Any unused talent? Is there anything inside that should be spent, shared or given away? When it comes to your time and resources are you living a life of extravagant generosity?
I'm going to mentally empty my pockets tonight at bedtime and see if I've been holding back. I think that's important. I want to make sure there is nothing left at the end of the day that could have been used. And then tomorrow I'll see what I can use up.
I can hardly think of a more worthwhile and joyous way to live.
-- Steve Goodier www.LifeSupportSystem.com
Quote from: Psalm_97 on September 18, 2013, 02:33:38 PM
"You know you're growing in grace when people notice that you've stopped correcting there their mistakes."
NOT GROWING IN GRACE HERE... :laughhard:
And Fuzzy wuz, loved your comment/story there too...
Not mine. I just enjoyed it. See bottom of story for credit to: -- Steve Goodier www.LifeSupportSystem.com
Thank you Bobby. I was wondering how long it would take before someone took the bait. I thought about using "misteakes" instead, but I figured that would be far too obvious.
Quote from: Psalm_97 on November 12, 2013, 07:43:18 PM
Thank you Bobby. I was wondering how long it would take before someone took the bait. I thought about using "misteakes" instead, but I figured that would be far too obvious.
For some reason I hadn't saw the post until this morning. Being as how spelling errors usually drive me wild, I'd have bit on this like a 50 lb catfish if I'd saw it earlier... :laughhard:
First it's pretty tires, then it's pretty guns....next thing you know you're shavin your beard and wearin capri pants. -Si, from Duck Dynasty about non-stock tires on pickup trucks. :cool:
Saw this on FB:
"Yes God used a donkey, but that donkey isn't going to heaven. Being used BY God is awesome but it's not the same as being right WITH God"
I saw that on FB! Did you post that or repost it PF or was it on someone else's FB?
'Zebras don't throw rocks.' - Dr Franklin my archaeology teacher
Someone else posted it, I just thought it was interesting.
Quote from: Lynx on September 18, 2013, 01:32:06 PM
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist,
While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I drank it.
Sincerely,
the Opportunist.
The truth on the glass half full; or half empty... You can only answer the question if you know the events leading up to said question!
Answer: If you poured something into the glass the glass is half full! If you drank from the glass the glass is half empty...it matters little if the quality of the content is poor!!! If you don't like the life you are living; change it; enhance it...fill it with good things!
Sincerely, The Assured 😉
Ecclesiastes 9:10 | Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest.
1 Corinthians 10:31 | Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
Philippians 4:8 | Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things
Colossians 3:17 | And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
Colossians 3:23 | And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;