Am I wrong?

[Assuredbyfaith]

The answer is yes...but since I didn't get the answer till I was almost finished writing this you get to hear the question, and doubts!

Hmmmmm.... Let's see if I can word all this the right way; and maybe you will understand where I'm coming from! Maybe I'm just over thinking things right now; and I should probably leave this in God's hands....leave it to the future!!    Although, It does somewhat impact my life at the moment because certain people don't understand how I feel, and want me to date someone they know who already has two kids.


I'm not sure this is going to come out the right way...lol  I think I have been over thinking it....lol  As I can see that I have already started to ramble!!!


My question is:

Is it wrong for me to not want to raise children in the world we are living in? Am I lacking in faith in this area?  I have come to the point were I have just seen too much happening to the young kids around here; and I'm wondering why anyone would want their kids to grow up with all this garbage!  Don't mistake me, I love children; but I think that they are just getting too much of a raw deal now days!!!   My heart hurts to see the things that kids are facing!  It hurts to see what my young nephews, and nieces are going through; not to mention what they are going to face in the future!  My heart hurts!!!!

My Mother says that I am not having faith in God when I think of it in this light!  Of course, she is looking at it from a mother's stand point, and a future grandmother's stand point. Possibly when I marry the man that God has for me; my thoughts might change!!   

I get asked why I don't have any kids(this is from people at work; where most of them don't see things from a christian stand point)!   First off, I'm like "Hello, do you see a ring on this finger"?   Nope, therefore, no ring........no kid!!!

We have had a recent surge of unwed pregnant girls at our work....some that got drunk, and don't even know who the father is!  Some who are claiming it was an accident!  I'm like, "How do you accidental get pregnant"?  There is a reason your pregnant; it didn't just happen while you were walking down the sidewalk, or driving down the road!  Hello, pretty much the whole world knows how babies come about; I mean we have nine year old kids that know what sex is all about!  Very sad, but also very true!!   If you can't or don't want to take the responsibility of a kid; then don't get pregnant!!!!   Accident, or no accident!!!

Hopefully, I'm not coming off harsh here; but the kids are the ones that are going to suffer!!!  It's not really a case of going to suffer; they are suffering! 

*Hmmm...that verse: Matthew 19:14 (King James Version)

"But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."  

Just popped up in my mind*



I'm not saying that there aren't any good single parents out there; but if your honest about it you will admit it's a very tough road to walk!! And even though you love your child, you probably would have been better off waiting! It's not something I would want to face alone!  I admire those that take the responsibility, and do the best by their kids!!

The girl at my work who just had the baby; and doesn't even know who the father is....She's in no place to take care of a baby, and doesn't really want one; which is also why her mother is having to do it!  I say girl, but she is definitely old enough to know better!

We have women who are now pregnant here in this area; and they have already given up several of their kids to adoption, and several of them were taken away by DHS!!  A year ago, I had a friend that had a neighbor ask her if she wanted her baby; seeing how she already had six children by different fathers, and doesn't want this one!!!   My mind is boggled; although, I don't know why humanity surprises me!  I know I was raised with a different set of standards, and morals than some others; but is there not even a little commonsense in people now days? If you can't or don't want to take the responsibility of a kid; then don't get pregnant!!!!

We have a very good friend of the family that has been raising foster kids, or trying to anyway!! She has had six or more kids, both boys, and girls come though her home; and everyone of them had been sexually abused by friend, or family!  Some of them from such a young age that my heart is almost overwhelmed by it all!! How can someone do that to a child that is helpless, defenseless!? With so much life ahead for these children, and yet their lives are basically destroyed!!  Our friend has had to send everyone of them back to Child Services because of the fact that she had to protect her own children from some of the things that these young kids were acting out!!   


Continued.....

I'm right now at the Texas Ladies Retreat; and we are having an awesome move of God!!!!!!  Awesome!!!!  Speakers: Nancy Grandquist, Cindy Miller, and Dedie Cooley have been wonderful; which I have never heard any of them speak before!!  For Friday night's service Nancy didn't even get to speak; the Holy Ghost just moved!!!!!!!   



I'm sitting here finishing a thought I had started writing before I got here.....and I'm wondering why am I even writing this!!!  LOL  I know a God that can do anything; especially help raise, and protect any children that I might possibly have in the future!!   I guess there are always moments of doubt when we have to fight ourselves!  I'm probably going to feel this way in the future at several points, but I hope that I have the faith to say that, "God if it's your will, then your will be done"!



I started writing this before I went to Ladies Retreat; tried finishing it during, and since God had the answer I needed to hear.....I'm still going to share it with you even though my outlook has changed, and I no longer question if I want to raise children in this world; if it's God's will then its God's will!! 



Through this whole retreat God has reaffirmed things for me; especially with several of the situations that keep happening in my life!!  Awesome services!!!!!



As for the question I asked in this post which I started, and haven't finished till now; God said, "Trust me"!!!!  Funny how we are always surprised when God answers even the smallest questions in our hearts; those confusing thoughts in our minds!  Big or little.....confusion, doubt, or fear God changes all!!!    God told me to lead things in his hands; he has them in control!!  LOL Quit worrying about the things that don't matter; God has a purpose!!!  If we keep trying to control the things that we can't control; we will always feel out of control!!



I know this is a really long post, but I just wanted to share some other uplifting things from the retreat!



Cindy Miller:



"God isn't glorified because we suffer, he is glorified by how we suffer".



"There are no special keys, or certain formulas for solving the problems life sends your way.  God deals with people as individuals.....faith doesn't produce your miracles; GOD DOES"!!!

[Sis]

If you still feel that way after awhile, you could try to help raise children that are already here. Give them a chance to meet God and have a relationship with him.

Work with kids. Be a big sister to someone whose mother is working and doesn't have time.

Maybe you could get to know some neighborhood kids and take them to church and be their mentor.

Through these things God can work on your heart, and you will be giving some kids a chance that they might not have otherwise. You don't have to decide right now but you can be working with kids and helping them to have it just a little bit better than they'd have otherwise.

[Envelope]

I have 2 children, ages 6 and 4.  My oldest is in kindergarten and in public school, my youngest will start kindergarten this fall.

I am fixin to have the "birds and bees" talk with my oldest.  Yes, I feel she is a little young for it, but I (emphasize the I) want to be the one to teach her and NOTTTT the kids on the playground.  We have already been discussing proper/improper touching, and that type of thing and I've been very up front and honest with her. 

It is hard.  we live in a small town and have a small church, but GOD gave ME (and my husband) 2 BEAUTIFUL daughters because he entrusted US with them!!!!  It is OUR responsibility to raise them right!!!!  I gave up a career in nursing to be a stay at home mom so that I would NOT have to put the girls in daycare!  I simply refused!! 

The ONLY reason they're in public school, is that I KNOW they have to learn to sprout their wings and fly.  It is my job to protect them as much as possible, but it is ALSO my job to teach them how to cope with this present world.  They are going to have to LIVE in the real world and I don't want to shelter them to the point that they don't know how to cope!!!!!

I can see both sides on this one....but I DO believe you CAN raise GOOD kids in today's world!!! 

sharon

[Assuredbyfaith]

If you still feel that way after awhile, you could try to help raise children that are already here. Give them a chance to meet God and have a relationship with him.

Work with kids. Be a big sister to someone whose mother is working and doesn't have time.

Maybe you could get to know some neighborhood kids and take them to church and be their mentor.

Through these things God can work on your heart, and you will be giving some kids a chance that they might not have otherwise. You don't have to decide right now but you can be working with kids and helping them to have it just a little bit better than they'd have otherwise.

I do already have a burden to help out in this area; and I love working with children!!  I also work with young adults, and have really enjoyed it!  It's just sometimes really hard to see what they are going through!  I pray that God has been able to use me to plant seeds that will take root; that I'm able to be a blessing even if the only thing that I can do in a situation, is pray!

I can see both sides on this one....but I DO believe you CAN raise GOOD kids in today's world!!! 

I don't know...there has just been something holding me back(scaring me) when it comes to thinking of having/raising kids of my own...  I wasn't really saying that it's not possible to raise good kids; just that the thought of raising kids in this world has become kind of scary! For me, that is!

Although, God touched my heart at Ladies Retreat!!  If we trust him in other areas of our life.... we can surely trust him with our children!!?  If it's God's will, then he will provide the way; and give me the courage to walk it!!!!

[Sis]

I've known a lot of young women who had the same fear but after awhile, they decided to have one and liked it so much they had another one. Don't let your fears of today rule your tomorrow. Give it to God.

[Assuredbyfaith]

Don't let your fears of today rule your tomorrow. Give it to God.

AMEN!!!!   I'm in the process of trying...lol

[SippinTea]

Don't let your fears of today rule your tomorrow. Give it to God.

That was only too perfect, Sis. I needed that today.

[Assuredbyfaith]

You know where God gives you assurance over something, then you turn right back around looking for the peace that God already gave you!!  Humans....Humans.....?  BECCA....Becca....Becca?

[SippinTea]

You know where God gives you assurance over something, then you turn right back around looking for the peace that God already gave you!! 

Haha! I was just shaking my head at myself yesterday over that very thing. Sometimes I'm pathetic. Just so you know.

[Sis]

Sometimes I'm pathetic. Just so you know.

You're not alone there, Sista!

[Assuredbyfaith]

You know where God gives you assurance over something, then you turn right back around looking for the peace that God already gave you!! 

Haha! I was just shaking my head at myself yesterday over that very thing. Sometimes I'm pathetic. Just so you know.

Here...*hands SippinTea a paddle*  You row that side, I'll paddle from this side...and maybe together we can stop this boat from turning in circles...SIS you can be the person at the front who yells really loud; although I'm not sure what they are suppose to be yelling....maybe a little encouragement!?

[Assuredbyfaith]

No more turning in circles for us...God gave us a path...peace...We'll keep with it!!!  Right team?   


Wait a minute what's that I see ahead?   White water rapids......a waterfall??   

[SippinTea]

*grin* The ridiculous thing is, I sometimes find it easier to accept His peace when I'm facing whitewater rapids or waterfalls than I do at other times. What's up with that?

Oh well.

I guess that's where faith comes in. And where I realize that I'm helpless on my own anyhow, and I accept my own humanity and His amazing ways of working miracles for me.

He's awesome like that.

[Assuredbyfaith]

Maybe because when we are facing rapids, or waterfalls...we know that we have to leave things in God's hand!!  We don't have an option!!

When we are just drifting peacefully down the river we sometimes think that we are the one controlling the current!!?

Or we forget about the little things that God can do because the greater things have stood out in our minds, as God having brought us through it all?   

[Sis]

Good thoughts

[Newsman]

That's very good advice for anyone, Lady Sis!


John 

Don't let your fears of today rule your tomorrow. Give it to God.

[gabbtastic]

This world is crazy, and i have never been a major advocate for homeschooling, but the more i see the more i think its necessary. i dont have kids yet or even a good candidate for a husband tho so i guess i will cross those bridges when i get there. I know it is possible to raise kids even in todays society, and have them still be good christians, it will just take a lot of work!

[Sis]

I've been around to watch two generations of kids slide further down. Even if they're still in church, they're taking on things that kids would never have taken on or thought when I was growing up. Accepting things that two generations ago, people never thought would be accepted in public much less be accepted by kids.

The school system has already stated that our kids belong to the state and the state has every right to teach what THEY feel the kids should know.  One of the most subtle teachings from Kindergarten up is, don't trust your parent's generation. It's so subtle, people don't even know it's happening. The object is to separate kids from their parent's religion so they can creat a one world system.

Among the teachings that are just as subtile are: question everything, don't take anything at face value, question all motives; Kids are taught they have rights they don't have. The right to their own sexuality, the right to their own privacy (Their room is off limits to parents); They have the right to do what they want, even break the law, if they feel they have a good reason to do it; Dicipline is wrong, kids need to express themselves; and a lot more.

Slow, subtile teaching and by the time they grow up, their children are taking guns to school and getting even with other kids. Kids not knowing how to control their anger. Dicipline teaches a child how to behave in our society, self dicipline. And through it all, they learn how to handle their own anger.

The teaching that we should not have any competition and praise kids for everything they do, good or bad, they have only brought about a generation of arrogant kids. Kids who think they know everything, you can't tell them anything, and they think they can do things they have never tried in the past because they can't be told anything.

This world is a mess because of what the school system has done a little at a time, to our kids.  What will the next generation bring? I know there are some children who don't go to the depths that some have, but they still have taken on ideas that aren't exactly Christian.

I know three parents whose kids have told them the schools have told them that having them go to church their whole lives, living without a TV, having the girls wear dresses and not jeans was abuse. One was in Minnesota, one was in Las Vegas and one was here in the DC area. So it's spread out throughout the USA.

[upcchris]

It's worrying and more than a little alarming, to say the least. I can see why you'd be quite reluctant to raise kids in this day and age, and think it would be better not to have kids at all than to put them through the garbage our world accepts as normal.
I was sheltered from a lot of this nonsense as a child...and that didn't affect me until high school. I had no idea what me 'peers' were talking about when they discussed the darker side of life. A lot of it went over my head and I was teased mercilessly for it. I now know a lot of things I wish I didn't know, mainly because either their parents had been lax in their dicipline and discussions with their children and what they let them watch. Or they decided they needed to hear it from them rather than kids in the playground. Socially innocent little me couldnt relate to these kids, and because my parents did do the right thing by me, I was a social outcast, sensitive and innocent, the perfect bait for torment...which is why I'm of two minds about homeschooling. Naturally, as a parent, you'd want to protect your kids from as much of this nonsense as possible, although they will have to find out about it someday. And school schooling does give tools to prepare you for later life.

In my experience, people who are tormented at school have one of several outcomes: they find someone weaker than they to pick on, to pass along the pain, they withdraw into themselves and take a very long time to recover, if they recover at all, some comitting suicide, others unable to relate to the world around them, others bitter and jaded, or, once they've found God, they overcome through the grace of God and take on life with a kinder outlook, having gone through what they did, can see its effects on others and assist, and never do the same to anyone else, having gone through it themselves, they know what it feels like. Not all are that fortunate.

[Sis]

In the States, the homeschooled kids aren't able to be that protected. They get some of the same nonsense from the other kids in church. The homeschooled kids aren't swamped with the other religions being accepted and the sex-ed, but kids in church talk. Talk about music groups, and a lot of other things. So when our kids go into the world, they do know a lot but it's not crammed down their throats as if they were in school being indoctrinated.

Home schooled kids  usually test out higher than their school-taught counterparts. The home schooled kids aren't given the psychological stuff, the dumbed-down education and the inculcation that the public school kids are open to. So even though they DO learn some things from the kids who do go to public school, they're not brainwashed with the world's ideas.

Three of the home schooled kids from back home went to college and did very well, and were among the well liked kids.

[upcchris]

That's a pro for homeschooling....If I ever had kids, I'd be leaning more towards that option.

[lojack]

i say you should have kids.....they can help clean dishes, vacuum and do laundry!!

[nwlife]

But I can hire a maid alot cheaper!!!!! and also a maid leaves at the end of the day, a kid may not leave home for past 35 years.... (yes I have 2 years to go!) LOL!

[Sis]

i say you should have kids.....they can help clean dishes, vacuum and do laundry!!

Where have you been?  Tea disappeared and so did you. LOL

Once when I told my daughter (for the third time) to go do the dishes, she turned and said:  "The only reason you had me was because you wanted a maid."   I said, "Yep, that's right. Now go do the dishes!"   

She didn't appreciat the humor.

[Sis]

But I can hire a maid alot cheaper!!!!! and also a maid leaves at the end of the day, a kid may not leave home for past 35 years.... (yes I have 2 years to go!) LOL!

Alice didn't leave the Brady's!