So....I've kinda disappeared from everything. I'll give you a short run down. I got married on December 20th to my best friend in the whole world...then he disappeared. Or at least that's how it feels sometimes. He was diagnosed on Valentines Day of this year with PTSD. He has a previous diagnosis of multiple TBI's but all the symptoms of both have increased with each passing day. The doctor are only treating with meds which increase the anger and increase the violence. So I've taken him off of a lot of them. They just don't seem to understand this can't happen. The last meds they put him on, they told me the only side effects was that it would make him sleepy, increased the anger and nightmares so badly that he felt he was being attacked in his dreams and then he would attack me in his sleep. That has ended thankfully.
We're in the process of getting him a service dog so that it can help him with his mental and physical injuries. We've been waiting a long time for one to come available.
My husband is a good man but he's been through far more than a person should. There are days when he is himself again and happy and loving. But some days the depression hits him so hard he won't get out of bed.
I've kinda fallen by the wayside I think. All of my time and energy has been helping him. I need some help myself. I'm not able to work or attend school because I can't leave him or function enough to deal with important things like studying.
I know things won't always be this way but right now we need a little help. He's either angry or withdrawn and shut down or depressed most of the time. We both want to just run away from it all. We are looking to move next year as well and that's stressful too. Starting over in a new place and we need to find a place that's affordable on little income. We'll be living off his disability most likely.
Well dear me. That's not good.
:bighug: can I recommend tx?
Chel, we've definitely considered it. I have family there I'd rather not have to deal with and it's sooo hot! Lol.
Don't tell them you are coming...
Texas is HOT! lol We've debated Oregon or Washington. Probably going to move up there next year. It's cool and still far enough away that people might leave us alone. lol
It's not cheaper up there...
If Chel says it's not, it's not. She oughta know. ^.^
Now Tennessee, it's just about right. Doesn't get as hot as Florida in the summer, doesn't get as cold as Wisconsin in the winter. And we're too far inland to get hurricanes. If you have to move to somewhere besides where you are now, I'd recommend Tennessee.
And East Tennessee is far superior to West Tennessee. Just sayin...... :cool:
So it's been awhile since I've posted in here. Life has kinda made a turn for the better. He's back on meds and we've learned a few new techniques for dealing with things. I hate to jinx it, but life is well right now. Just wanted to give you guys an update. We made it past the 1 year mark. I don't expect life to be perfect now, but there were days we didn't think we'd make it this far.
/me hugs Ashlee
:HUGS: hang in there! so very glad things are looking up!
I'm glad...
I do know that it is difficult sometimes for both people to get used to begin married...
Praying! I can relate to some of what your dealing with.
Quote from: sunlight on December 24, 2014, 07:19:45 PM
I'm glad...
I do know that it is difficult sometimes for both people to get used to begin married...
It definitely was. A lot of it had to do with the ptsd and the nightmares he was having. And us having a difficult roommate in the first few months of marriage when things were still bad.
*Hugs* Ash. I have a hunch that getting married "later in life" like you and I did may be more difficult than getting married young. But I s'pose I can't say for sure, 'cause I've never been married young. ;) I do know it takes an awful lot of effort and love (the action, not the feeling) and grace and patience, and giving each other the grace and space to grow and change. And also acceptance for exactly who and what the other person is RIGHT NOW. I think every GP person I personally know who got married within the last 5 years or so has been through a trial by fire, both in their marriage and in their walk with God. So far, from what I'm hearing, most of us are growing stronger - not weaker, and I think we're all gonna be just fine.
:beret:
Ashley - we've had a few over the years.
Does Uncle + Rams Horn mean anything to you?