Godplace/Mission238 forums

Help us out, men. (And any women that want to share,too.)  :) What are some ways that single women unintentionally put themselves in harms' way? And what are some practical steps we can take to not be an easy target?

We've read the books (most of which aren't all that helpful for real-life scenarios), but we need some advice for everyday safety. Assume we're talking about modestly-dressed pentecostal women, not some asking-for-trouble gal.

:beret:

Tip #1: Never give your phone number to a guy unless you have first
1.run a background check on him and
2.called the last three numbers on his caller ID to be sure they're not
-A. His ex-girlfriend
-B. His ex-wife
-C. His wife

Ouch! OK, there's not really a way I can do that with the guy I'm thinking of. And for all I know, he's got all three.

Any other thoughts?

:beret:

Do you mean being safe in a guy-girl relationship? Or being "street safe" when there's pick pockets and all that around? or what??

Hmmm...  SippinTea is thinking of a guy!

Alert the media!!!!

Boys will be boys.  Some are worse than others.  Just take you time and get to know someone.  You could always have a companion accompany you to be more comfortable and feel safer

I won't kid you on the guy part, but are you looking at thoughts on not getting the wrong guy the wrong idea? Or, are you talking about survival tips if a guy begins to make an unwanted physical move on a woman?


John

Don't get close to a man who isn't full of the Holy Ghost (at least sometimes, we all have a measure of up and down). The Holy Ghost isn't going to be strong in a man who is trying to cheat on his wife, seduce you, or whatever other evil designs he might have. If you don't know how to recognize whether or not someone is full by their speech and their spirit, then pray for discernment and give God time to get it to you before looking for a mate.

Quote from: Newsman on February 05, 2007, 09:30:19 AM
Or, are you talking about survival tips if a guy begins to make an unwanted physical move on a woman?

There you go--that's the one. Sorry everyone, I guess I didn't explain very well.  :-?

I hadn't intended to give any details, but it looks like I need to.

In a nutshell: Someone is giving me unwanted attention, is most decidedly not a Christian, seems to anger easily, is a disgruntled ex-employee of the music store I teach out of, got ahold of my cell number (off my business card), and comes in to the store and wants to 'chat' with me about things that are none of his business. Grrrrr.

Also, a friend who works somewhat nearby, said he has yelled very inappropriate comments at her across the parking lot. Granted, she doesn't dress modestly, but it's obvious he has a filthy mind.

So I guess I'm asking...
What can I do to make sure he knows I am not interested, without angering him?
Are there some things I might be doing unintentionally that would create an unsafe scenario?
What are practical things I can do (besides carrying mace) that would give me an advantage if he does try something ugly? ('Start dating a cop' won't count as a practical suggestion.)  :)

Quote from: not my will but thine on February 05, 2007, 08:38:21 AM
You could always have a companion accompany you to be more comfortable and feel safer

My 16-year-old brother offered to start going to work with me, but it's not realistic for him to be with me five days a week. Although I've no doubt he'd do it if I asked.

:beret:

WOW!!

Just be VERY careful is ALL I can say!!

Also, I don't know if you carry a cell phone or not, but don't let it make you lapse into a "false sense of security".  I don't know if any of you read or seen the news about a girl from Ark City KS (Jodi Sanderholm---a 19 year old student/dance teacher) but she HAD a cell phone, was in a public place (Subway) and a guy that was stalking her somehow managed to murder her!!  Her family all thought she was "safe" because she carried a cell phone......

I'm not trying to scare you to death, but all I'm saying is just be careful!! 

sharon

Ignore him if/when it's possible if he tries calling etc.  Just try to not show any interest in him in that regard.  If he comes to your work in person and addresses you, tell him your busy or whatever.....

If self-defense is needed, kick him hard in the region he least wants to be kicked...that should incapacitate him long enough for you to at least get a head start on running away.   :biglaugh:

 :biglaugh: Um....already thought of that one. I'm just hoping it won't be necessary.

As for phone calls: I'm not answering any numbers that aren't recognized by my phone. I may miss some potential students since that's my business line, but oh well.  :-?

:beret:

You could have surf come home and beat the tar out of him for you.  :)

I'd love to. But so far, I don't proof of any evil intentions on his part, it's just a strong hunch. And the fact that my Mom had a dream a couple nights ago that she felt was a warning--and since I hadn't said much to her about the guy, there wasn't really a pre-planted thought to base the dream on. :-(

:beret:

Brothers don't need proof to beat somebody up.   :grin:

 :biglaugh: Thanks. I needed that chuckle.

:beret:

um - If you're truly concerned, I'd file a report now so that if you have to go back later, there's a record of it.

File a report with someone other than my Dad, you mean?  :)  What exactly are you thinking of?

:beret:

Police report - if he's not letting you alone (even if it's not harm - yet), it's technically harassing you, isn't it? I'd make a note of it now so that if in the future, he dare try anything, the police are aware.

OK, some unofficial and don't-hold-me-to-them-in-court thoughts...

A modestly dressed Pentecostal woman in a physical confrontation with a presumably stronger man.. some possibilities.

If grabbed, especially from behind, your heel in the top (arch?) of the man's foot may cause enough pain and discomfort both to allow a moment of escape, and slow any pursuit intended.

As mentioned by Seth, the groin is a target that can certainly distract a man..for a modeestly dressed woman, that may mean using a knee or hands, and that is an area that can be blocked more easily than some.

What do you have with you? A cold or hot drink can be used to at least temporarily blind the guy, and perhaps give you those moments to get away.

Change form your purse, thrown in the eyes, can give a moment's distraction to run away.

Hair sprey or other, particularly aerosol sprays to the man's eyes, can give you time to get away.

A couple of the main things is to stand there and duke it out, or call police while you're still near him..once he's distracted, _Get Away_ then call police.

I think I will ask our Sgt. Michael to see if he would like to post some thoughts, as he has much more both armed and unarmed combat traiing and experience than I have.

We may also, once the guys have posted, move this over to the Ladies Only thread for you Ladies to discuss amongst yourselves.


John

One thing I was always taught is to have your keys in your hand before you leave a building to go to your car.  Keys can make an awesome weapon!

I can picture the keys being used very effectively..my thought was that it requires what is still almost face-to-face combat..perhaps they could be used for that moment's surpirse, and give the lady a chance to escape.


John  :waving:

You can get a stun gun for about $40.00. They hurt. Bad.

Quote from: . on February 06, 2007, 01:39:56 AM
You can get a stun gun for about $40.00. They hurt. Bad.

I would love to have a stun gun.  :up2:

Just don't zap someone in the neck or spine, it can cause permanent paralysis.

I also forgot to add that you could check as to your local laws, and see if you can carry a can of 'mace'. If so, and the type is allowed, I recommend "OC Pepper Spray."


John

Mace is no longer legal because it's flamible. Pepper spray will stop most perps, but someone on drugs it's not enough.

A very big thank you to everyone who has responded! Hopefully, nothing will come of all this and I won't be forced to use all these great ideas. But if it comes to an out and out physical confrontation I'll be a little better prepared by the brainstormming with all you wonderful folks.

Judging from the comments posted thus far, my advantage would come with A) what I would currently have in my hand at the moment of confrontation, and B) how quick I am on my feet. I'm not a very big person, but I am pretty fast on my feet--(don't know about a foot race). I also own mace, and plan to have it with me at all hours during the next few weeks, as well as my cell. The idea listed by myhaloisintheshop about keeping my keys in hand when walking to my car is one I already currently use, and although I wouldn't relish the thought of using keys on anyone's face, I would if I had to.  :-\

Never having had quite this situation before, I've been feeling rather unprepared. But with the ideas from all of you, at least I'd have a fighting chance.

Thanks, everyone!

:beret:

If you're prayed up and living right, your angels have got your back. Fear not.

I'd rather put my trust in God than in angels, but I still plan to be as prepared as I can.

:beret:

*sighes*

Quote from: Chseeads on February 05, 2007, 07:44:40 PM
Brothers don't need proof to beat somebody up.   :grin:

ya got that right!!!!!!!!


sippintea--you never said anything about the latest development to me, and I just noticed this thread today   :nono:

all the suggestions so far have been great, but I'd still tell you what I've been telling you for the last 2 years--GET A 9 MILLIMETER!!!!!!

seriously, a concealed weapons permit gives you not only the right to carry a weapon for self defense, but requires you to take the necessary training in self defense and situation diffusing that would prove helpful in a tense situation.

personal alarms can also be a good idea.   Talk to Joel L also--I know he's done self defense classes for singles gals before--I know he'd be more than happy to help you out.

also try Lee--don't forget, he's not only a blackbelt in Do Shin Kwo, he also works in the corrections facility--if anyone could help you out, it'd be him.

Lee? mmmm....maybe. He'd be more likely to put me in the hospital unintentionally.   :laughhard:  He's kind of a bull in a china shop.  :)

Already thought of Joel L, but he's pretty busy. I dunno....I might call him. Or email. We'll see.... I'd definitely have more likelyhood of surviving training.  ;)

:beret:

The 9mm is NOT the answer to your problems.  Especially if you don't have experience in handling and use of the weapon.  Its very likely that the gun you purchase and carry to use for self-defense can be taken away and used against you.  Sure there is some training or education involved with obtaining a handgun carry permit which probably varies in length and subject matter from state to state.  But it is not adequate to evolve you into a fearless "gung-ho" defensive tactics master.  Those classes are all about money and anyone who pays the fees can pass and qualify to get their Handgun carry permit.  They do not teach defensive tactics or Aggression Defense techniques.  At least none that I am aware of

Some one said...........Not to hit someone in the neck with a stun gun...........and that it would cause paralysis..........

My question.................

WHO Cares??  If I'm being attacked.............I wouldn't take the time to "be careful" not to stun someone in the neck............

As for carrying concealed?  I say Go for it............with proper training................

Or just do like I did.............Marry a COP!!  :hypocrite:

sharon

Notmywill--I am a pretty good shot  :)  but having my own weapon used against me is a valid concern.

Sharon--Stun gun-wise...I wouldn't bother being 'careful' about where I hit this guy, either.  ;)  Cop-wise...hmmmm...there was good-looking cop that came in the store asking for Jason a few days ago. Should I have asked for his phone number?  :laughhard:      er...nevermind.

:beret:

Quote from: not my will but thine on February 06, 2007, 09:02:50 AM
But it is not adequate to evolve you into a fearless "gung-ho" defensive tactics master.

not what I was implying.

:)

Quote from: SippinTea on February 05, 2007, 06:36:00 AM
Help us out, men. (And any women that want to share,too.)  :) What are some ways that single women unintentionally put themselves in harms' way? And what are some practical steps we can take to not be an easy target?

We've read the books (most of which aren't all that helpful for real-life scenarios), but we need some advice for everyday safety. Assume we're talking about modestly-dressed pentecostal women, not some asking-for-trouble gal.

:beret:

Buy a dog if it is at all possible. A nice big dog.

Tazer has a nice civilian model tazer that works pretty slick.

Walk to the car in a buddy system with other folks

As someone said Pepper Spray (only if it is not windy and rainy)

A nice .38 Ladies Model snub is FANTASTIC - only if you are willing to shoot to kill.....

Yell FIRE! Never help. For some reason people tend to ingnore or not get involved when they hear HELP, but they will when the hear fire. There is something about 3 trucks full of firemen carrying AXes that will scare off would be rapists.

Wear Sneakers out on the street  - forget the heels, you run better in sneakers.

If you are followed, drive to the police station or a fire station
(I had a creep follow me right in to the police station one time, screaming that he was going to kill me. He then tried to fight it out with the police. The last I saw of him he was laid out on the concrete by a cop with a large nightstick.)

Be aware at all times.

QuotePosted by: wire2john 
Insert Quote
If you're prayed up and living right, your angels have got your back. Fear not.

Tell that to Paul, Peter, Steven, Matthew, Mark, etc...

It rains on the just and the un just... good people have bad things that happen to them.

Quote from: Scott on February 08, 2007, 12:04:06 AM
If you are followed, drive to the police station or a fire station
(I had a creep follow me right in to the police station one time, screaming that he was going to kill me. He then tried to fight it out with the police. The last I saw of him he was laid out on the concrete by a cop with a large nightstick.)

I never thought of doing that.

****Stun gun news*****

      I asked my husband (the great Police chief) and he said that it does NOOOOO permanent damage if someone is stunned in the neck or back.  He said that myth is an Urban Legand!!

     Anyway, Just wanted to let you know.......I did ask!! 

sharon

any of you see that video that surfaced a while back of a cop tasering himself by mistake when trying to arrest a suspect?
:laughhard:

no, but i saw the one of the cop that shot himself during a firearms safety class . . . seems he forgot he had a bullet after all.



hey surf!  LOVE your sign line about the grandmother.  that's the kind of thing that mavrik will say some day.   :laughhard:

 :biglaugh:
thanks!

Did anyone see the video of the cops tazering a student in UCLA library about 5 times all in a row, and then they were like "Stand up now - if you don't stand up, we'll tazer you again!!" - duh, of course he couldn't stand up - he'd just been tazered a billion times!!!

I meant to buy a Taser awhile back, but the problem dissipated and I never did. I plan to get around to purchasing a handgun, though - a good idea for a gal livin' in the city alone! ;) In the meantime, I carry mace and rely on Jesus and my fierce left hook.

Quote from: Scott on February 08, 2007, 12:04:06 AM

Quote from: SippinTea on February 05, 2007, 06:36:00 AM
Help us out, men. (And any women that want to share,too.)  :) What are some ways that single women unintentionally put themselves in harms' way? And what are some practical steps we can take to not be an easy target?

We've read the books (most of which aren't all that helpful for real-life scenarios), but we need some advice for everyday safety. Assume we're talking about modestly-dressed pentecostal women, not some asking-for-trouble gal.

:beret:

Buy a dog if it is at all possible. A nice big dog.

Tazer has a nice civilian model tazer that works pretty slick.

Walk to the car in a buddy system with other folks

As someone said Pepper Spray (only if it is not windy and rainy)

A nice .38 Ladies Model snub is FANTASTIC - only if you are willing to shoot to kill.....

Yell FIRE! Never help. For some reason people tend to ingnore or not get involved when they hear HELP, but they will when the hear fire. There is something about 3 trucks full of firemen carrying AXes that will scare off would be rapists.

Wear Sneakers out on the street  - forget the heels, you run better in sneakers.

If you are followed, drive to the police station or a fire station
(I had a creep follow me right in to the police station one time, screaming that he was going to kill me. He then tried to fight it out with the police. The last I saw of him he was laid out on the concrete by a cop with a large nightstick.)

Be aware at all times.

Thank you, Scott!  :hi:

Never thought about pepper spray in wind and rain. Very good point!

And the thing about yelling FIRE! versus HELP!....that's a great thing to know.

Thanks!

:beret:

Why do I suddenly get this picture of hair spray can next to the pepper spray can.....4 am....very drowsy lady starts to finish her hair for the morning, and hits the wrong button.... :laughhard:

Humor aside, seems to be some good suggestions.

Wow! What a woman!  :thumbsup2:


John  :waving:

Quote from: alohilani on February 08, 2007, 06:32:25 AM
In the meantime, I carry mace and rely on Jesus and my fierce left hook.

Quote from: nwlife on February 08, 2007, 07:02:04 AM
Why do I suddenly get this picture of hair spray can next to the pepper spray can.....4 am....very drowsy lady starts to finish her hair for the morning, and hits the wrong button.... :laughhard:

Humor aside, seems to be some good suggestions.

Very funny!  :biglaugh: But there's one problem....I don't use hair spray, so I doubt I'll make that mistake.  :)

:beret:

I don't carry anything - I haven't any clue as to where I'd get mace. ;)

Surf bought mine for me at an army surplus store.

:beret:

I get my bear mace at the local pawn and gun store....work miracles on belligerent drunks at night.

Quote from: Newsman on February 08, 2007, 07:18:48 AM
Wow! What a woman!  :thumbsup2:

Haha! I grew up in the country with a pack of rough-and-tumble boys; I learned quickly! Plus, when we all got older, they decided to be helpful big brothers and taught me self defense.

...Funny, they don't sass me as much anymore. ;)

Sometimes you can find mace at odd places, too - I've seen it in the hunting section at Wal-Mart and even in the checkout line at Circuit City! lol - I had to replace my first bottle of mace, but only because my friend thought he'd like to find out if it really burned when I wasn't looking. :roll: He's a believer now!

 :laughhard: :laughhard: That's hilarious!  What in the world possessed him to try it?!?!

:beret:

Quote from: nwlife on February 08, 2007, 07:02:04 AM
Why do I suddenly get this picture of hair spray can next to the pepper spray can.....4 am....very drowsy lady starts to finish her hair for the morning, and hits the wrong button.... :laughhard:

Humor aside, seems to be some good suggestions.

I had a friend who did something similar to this. When she was getting ready for school one morning, she accidentally used aerosol deodorant on her hair instead of hair spray.

Quote from: SippinTea on February 08, 2007, 04:30:12 PM
:laughhard: :laughhard: That's hilarious!  What in the world possessed him to try it?!?!

:beret:

yeah, well, whatever possessed him then . . . i bet he's delivered now!   :laughhard:

LOL! I'm truly at a loss to explain why in the world he did it. I know that he had residual burning and itching for two days, though! Oh, and he doesn't touch my keys anymore. ;)

You Ladies who have never been married may not realize we men sometimes have to do something extremely unwise just to find out if it's as tough/bad/hard/dangeorus as it's cracked up to be.

Not for naught is the saying that is supposed to have been the last word of many a southern man; "Hey, y'all! Watch iss!"  :laughhard:


John  :waving:

Quote from: Newsman on February 10, 2007, 03:28:46 PM
You Ladies who have never been married may not realize we men sometimes have to do something extremely unwise just to find out if it's as tough/bad/hard/dangeorus as it's cracked up to be.

Not for naught is the saying that is supposed to have been the last word of many a southern man; "Hey, y'all! Watch iss!"  :laughhard:


John  :waving:

lol  So the married women know about the guys doing unwise things in the name of finding out their potential harm?
How's that?
Is marriage on the list?

Quote from: RainbowJingles on February 11, 2007, 08:48:07 AM

Quote from: Newsman on February 10, 2007, 03:28:46 PM
You Ladies who have never been married may not realize we men sometimes have to do something extremely unwise just to find out if it's as tough/bad/hard/dangeorus as it's cracked up to be.

Not for naught is the saying that is supposed to have been the last word of many a southern man; "Hey, y'all! Watch iss!"  :laughhard:


John  :waving:

lol  So the married women know about the guys doing unwise things in the name of finding out their potential harm?
How's that?
Is marriage on the list?

I keep being told by other members of the EBC that yes, it is usually near the top...

EBC?  E... Bachelor's C...?  Club?  Eternal Bachelor's Club?

Everlasting Bobblehead Cave?

:-\

Elder Bachelor Counsel

AKA  TOMWB&B&L

THe old men with Brains, Brawn, and Looks

And here all along I thought you were the Everlasting GOBs.

Bachelorettes over 30 are the Everlasting GOBstoppers, right?.

There's hope for you, yet!  :thumbsup2:

John  :waving:

Quote from: nwlife on February 11, 2007, 09:58:28 AM
Elder Bachelor Counsel

AKA  TOMWB&B&L

THe old men with Brains, Brawn, and Looks

What kind of hope is there for him, though?  That's the question!  lol

Hmmm....should I answer? :ignore:

Sure, Brandon, you can tell them all the secret inner workings of the Council.... but then I  get to set you up on a series of Three blind dates!


John  :waving:

Not it!  :laughhard:

:beret:

Hmmm...  SippinTea: I didn't know you were blind!

It's okay, Brandon.  :-)  John wouldn't be THAT mean to you.

Tell us!
:clap:
Tell us!

Quote from: Newsman on February 20, 2007, 05:58:18 AM
Sure, Brandon, you can tell them all the secret inner workings of the Council.... but then I  get to set you up on a series of Three blind dates!


John  :waving:

You forget, then I can pack you to florida for some people to some fishing for ya! :freaky2:

Quote from: RainbowJingles on February 20, 2007, 07:05:54 AM
Hmmm...  SippinTea: I didn't know you were blind!

No, jes ornery!  :P

:beret:

Quote from: Newsman on February 20, 2007, 05:58:18 AM
Sure, Brandon, you can tell them all the secret inner workings of the Council.... but then I  get to set you up on a series of Three blind dates!


John  :waving:

Quote from: nwlife on February 20, 2007, 07:14:35 AMYou forget, then I can pack you to florida for some people to some fishing for ya! :freaky2:

Neither of you should be afraid of either punishment.  Either way, you'll end up with some possible dates.  lol

So tell us what's on your mind.  No holds barred.  No secrets.  lol

Doesn't it seem a bit ironic that "SAFETY" and "SINGLE WOMEN" would be put together?

why is that ironic?  i don't get it . . . what are you thinking? 

that single women can't be or aren't safe?  or that the single should be removed and it should just be safety and women?





or . . . do you personally not feel safe with a single woman?   :pwink:

Ya gave me a lot to think about there, Kris. Especially with the pink statement..... :freaky2:

hhmm.  interesting. 

Quote from: newkris on February 21, 2007, 12:34:05 AM

or . . . do you personally not feel safe with a single woman?   :pwink:

A married woman would make me a whole lot more nervous, actually.

Do single women feel safe with me?  awwww, man. This is getting so deeeeeep. 

Quote from: TRAV on February 21, 2007, 01:14:11 AM
Do single women feel safe with me? 

Probably not, judging from your occasional outrageous posts.  :biglaugh:

:beret:

It's a commentary on the number of 'shotgun weddings' today. Clearly guns across the country are malfunctioning (the safety isn't working) and the number of single women is on the rise.

Quote from: wire2john on February 21, 2007, 03:12:06 AM
It's a commentary on the number of 'shotgun weddings' today. Clearly guns across the country are malfunctioning (the safety isn't working) and the number of single women is on the rise.

NOw that is funny! :laughhard:

Quote from: alohilani on February 08, 2007, 03:51:46 PM
lol - I had to replace my first bottle of mace, but only because my friend thought he'd like to find out if it really burned when I wasn't looking. :roll: He's a believer now!

Lol!!! I remember that!! I actually talked to him a few hours ago, about that...

Quote from: SippinTea on February 21, 2007, 02:25:30 AM

Quote from: TRAV on February 21, 2007, 01:14:11 AM
Do single women feel safe with me? 

Probably not, judging from your occasional outrageous posts.  :biglaugh:

:beret:

Occasional? I'm gonna have to work on that. . .  :fork:

LOL   Thought you'd say that!

:beret:

Okay, let's get to the point:

Would single women feel safe with me?

It took you five pages to get to the point?
That doesn't make ME feel terribly safe.
I like the direct approach, myself.
Leaves no room for questions.

Quote from: RainbowJingles on February 21, 2007, 08:35:41 AM
It took you five pages to get to the point?
That doesn't make ME feel terribly safe.
I like the direct approach, myself.
Leaves no room for questions.

I'll second the motion.

Direct is good.

:beret:

Finally starting to figure that out...

If I could find the cartoon, I'd post a link for you, Brandon.

Garfield, the cat of renown, has a shovel near his plate, poised to begin eating.
The caption reads, "The best approach is the direct approach."

If I could illustrate it with food involved, I think you'd understand much better.

I think it was actually a plate of spaghetti, come to think of it.  You'd REALLY understand, then, wouldn't you?  lol

yea, though tonight I threw out a plate of it actually...I need to find some more sauce before I eat any more...

Elona - my mum's over my shoulder and she said to say hi to you for her!!

Quote from: TRAV on February 21, 2007, 08:32:38 AM
Okay, let's get to the point:

Would single women feel safe with me?

I'm surprised at you TRAV, you're usually not given to stereotypical thinking... clearly some women will feel safe with you and some won't, just depending what makes them feel safe.

Quote from: TRAV on February 21, 2007, 08:32:38 AM
Okay, let's get to the point:

Would single women feel safe with me?

hmmm "women" thats plural... so a crowd of single women, yeah I'm sure they would feel safe with you around while surrounded by nosy grandmother types and children and perhaps some parents and pastors and maybe even some government officials and cops and....
I'm running out of people, but you get the point...  will that answer work for ya?
:P  :grin: what?  :P
he was asking for it

Quote from: SippinTea on February 21, 2007, 08:41:32 AM

Quote from: RainbowJingles on February 21, 2007, 08:35:41 AM
I like the direct approach, myself.
Leaves no room for questions.

I'll second the motion.
Direct is good.

direct is good... unless its a direct "SDIF" LOL sometimes I like the room for questions

How can you be direct if you don't know what you're after? Seems to me you gotta get to know someone and let the relationship develop into whatever it will be. Sometimes what passes for being direct is actually just and act of desperation.

Quote from: wire2john on February 21, 2007, 04:40:31 PM
Sometimes what passes for being direct is actually just and act of desperation.

Most ladies I know can tell the difference a mile off.  It's quite obvious when someone's desperate.

:beret:

Quote from: SippinTea on February 21, 2007, 04:47:15 PM

Quote from: wire2john on February 21, 2007, 04:40:31 PM
Sometimes what passes for being direct is actually just and act of desperation.

Most ladies I know can tell the difference a mile off.  It's quite obvious when someone's desperate.

:beret:

At least to the *ladies* it is.  lol  Sometimes even the guys themselves don't realize how desperate they really are.

And AB: I agree.  SDIF is NOT a good thing in the direct approach option.  If there's room left for questions, then at least there's hope.  Maybe.

I'm NOT Desperate!!! :tantrum:

Quote from: TRAV on February 21, 2007, 08:32:38 AM
Okay, let's get to the point:

Would single women feel safe with me?

i think every single woman feels safe when you're here, trav.









or . . . did you mean in person?   :o  well, that might be another story . . . that i have yet to hear told!! 

Quote from: nwlife on February 21, 2007, 05:29:32 PM
I'm NOT Desperate!!! :tantrum:

Were we speaking about you?
Are you feeling guilty?

I've been safely a single woman for years... I'm ready to be unsafely single

anyone want to threaten my singleness??   :biglaugh:

Quote from: Amelia Bedelia on February 22, 2007, 01:24:04 AM

I've been safely a single woman for years... I'm ready to be unsafely single

anyone want to threaten my singleness??   :biglaugh:

I'm with ya on this one!!!!!!!  :laughhard:

Quote from: NessasMama on February 22, 2007, 02:45:47 AM

Quote from: Amelia Bedelia on February 22, 2007, 01:24:04 AM

I've been safely a single woman for years... I'm ready to be unsafely single

anyone want to threaten my singleness??   :biglaugh:

I'm with ya on this one!!!!!!!  :laughhard:

I Think bro. John, Rambler, or Trav can field this question! :great:

or Brandon....  :)

:beret:

 :o I already got enough people plotting the end of my days on the E.B.C.!!!! :lol:

Quote from: nwlife on February 22, 2007, 05:48:48 AM

Quote from: NessasMama on February 22, 2007, 02:45:47 AM

Quote from: Amelia Bedelia on February 22, 2007, 01:24:04 AM

I've been safely a single woman for years... I'm ready to be unsafely single

anyone want to threaten my singleness??   :biglaugh:

I'm with ya on this one!!!!!!!  :laughhard:

I Think bro. John, Rambler, or Trav can field this question! :great:

AB, you're safe with me.  :hypocrite:

 :o :freaky2: :bigglasses:

NICE avatar Alohilani ! I like it.  :thumbsup2:

Safe? Not sure. Cool? Definitely.

Thanks, Travis! That's my favorite hat.. *grin*

Quote from: alohilani on February 22, 2007, 06:30:33 AM
Thanks, Travis! That's my favorite hat.. *grin*

It fits your grin quite nicely.  :teeth:

Quote from: TRAV on February 22, 2007, 06:31:20 AM

Quote from: alohilani on February 22, 2007, 06:30:33 AM
Thanks, Travis! That's my favorite hat.. *grin*

It fits your grin quite nicely.  :teeth:

No *wonder* my hats always wind up making me look funny!
I always thought you were supposed to wear them on your HEAD.
No one EVER told me they went  on your grin!!!!   :smirk2:

Hmmm, reminds me of a song (hold your ears)

:sing: It's a lover's question, and I'd like to know-uh-uh-o-ooo-ee-ooh!  :sing:


John  :waving:

Quote from: SippinTea on February 22, 2007, 05:51:56 AM
or Brandon....  :)

:beret:

This one I could read all sorts of imagined info into....Think I might have mercy though...
at least on myself!!!! (especially before I get a frying pan busted upon my head again!!) :biglaugh:

Hmmm


John  :waving:

Quote from: TRAV on February 22, 2007, 06:31:20 AM

It fits your grin quite nicely.  :teeth:

*grin*

Quote from: RainbowJingles on February 22, 2007, 07:41:47 AM
No *wonder* my hats always wind up making me look funny!
I always thought you were supposed to wear them on your HEAD.
No one EVER told me they went  on your grin!!!!   :smirk2:

:biglaugh:

i don't think any man ought to feel safe with lani and a smile like that . . . yowza!  you go, girl!  :pwink:  

 :biglaugh:  Ditto that!  It's a stunning picture.   :)

:beret:

Yeeaaahp! I love it! :pwink:

Quote from: TRAV on February 22, 2007, 05:59:29 AM

Quote from: Amelia Bedelia on February 22, 2007, 01:24:04 AM
I've been safely a single woman for years... I'm ready to be unsafely single
anyone want to threaten my singleness??   :biglaugh:

AB, you're safe with me.

hmmm, bummer.      :-\ 

Quote from: TRAV on February 22, 2007, 05:59:29 AM
:hypocrite:

;) :freaky2: :biglaugh:


and I agree with everyone else - its a FABULOUS avatar photo Alohilani!     :great:

Safety....

Carry a big stick.

Quote from: Classicrambler on February 23, 2007, 01:15:07 AM
Safety....

Carry a big stick.

SafetyER (I know it's not really a word lol): Have a strong guy carry the big stick FOR you.  :-)

Hurray for RJ! Nicest option I've heard so far. LOL

:beret:

Quote from: RainbowJingles on February 23, 2007, 01:18:36 AM

Quote from: Classicrambler on February 23, 2007, 01:15:07 AM
Safety....

Carry a big stick.

SafetyER (I know it's not really a word lol): Have a strong guy carry the big stick FOR you.  :-)

I like the way you think :great:

Big stick.... Just need a big mouth...  I can talk my enemies to death!

most of us girls could talk an enemy to death, too . .  .that's not the point . . . we want a HERO to scare the enemy away! 

oh . . where's a hero when you need one? 

Speaking of heros, Kris...If you've never heard I Need a Hero by Chris Rice, ya gotta check it out!  :thumbsup2:  It's on my top ten.

:beret:

Thanks, ICG & SippinTea.  :-)

Quote from: newkris on February 23, 2007, 04:41:48 AM
most of us girls could talk an enemy to death, too . .  .that's not the point . . . we want a HERO to scare the enemy away! 

oh . . where's a hero when you need one? 

:clap: Tell 'em newkris!

Is it really true?  Is a hero no longer anything but a sandwich????

yep, just sandwhiches and songs .  . . appears there's no one to rescue poor us anymore.  and then they wonder why we become strong, independent women, right? 

reminds me of the other night . . . we brought dinner to a men's homeless shelter.  most of the women were in the kitchen and there was clearly no place for me - as these women have been working together for a long time and i'm still kind of an outsider.  so .  . .outside i went!  the pastor was passing out spoons and church cards to the men as they would take their food . . . so i went to help.  i just stood a little to his right and just picked up the slack if they got past him.  i didn't even think about the fact that i was standing in a room of men (talk about scruffy?  okay, this was NOT the attractive kind of scruffy, okay?) and i felt perfectly safe with my very tall pastor there, but i still kept sort of looking over my shoulder just to be sure . . but then i realized that a worker from the facility (who was equally as tall as my pastor) was just a little behind me.

well . . . suffice to say, i stopped worrying all together about safety and was able to just purely enjoy the smiling and spoon handing out.   

i don't know that i shouldn't have felt safe. i just don't always think before i do put myself in those places that it might not be the best idea.  i probably pass these men every day and Lord knows i know enough like them to understand their stories and there were other security people around and stuff, but . . . it was just sort of comforting to have these two very tall men . .  .there. 

that's what i'm talkin' about when it comes to a hero!   :thumbsup2:

Quote from: newkris on February 23, 2007, 04:41:48 AM
most of us girls could talk an enemy to death, too . .  .that's not the point . . . we want a HERO to scare the enemy away! 

oh . . where's a hero when you need one? 

I may not have a lot of muscles, but I know how to use a stick, mace etc... I rather use words if possible...but if it comes down to it... I use what ever I can!  Especially in the defense of another!  (or my plate of speghetti! though will share if she happens to be cute!) :lol:

Quote from: newkris on February 23, 2007, 01:11:14 PM
well . . . suffice to say, i stopped worrying all together about safety and was able to just purely enjoy the smiling and spoon handing out.   

i don't know that i shouldn't have felt safe. i just don't always think before i do put myself in those places that it might not be the best idea.  i probably pass these men every day and Lord knows i know enough like them to understand their stories and there were other security people around and stuff, but . . . it was just sort of comforting to have these two very tall men . .  .there. 

that's what i'm talkin' about when it comes to a hero!   :thumbsup2:

You're right, Kris! There are moments when as a women it's like you suddenly realize you can exhale because there's someone you trust nearby. It's a good feeling.

On the other side...there've been moments I didn't see the danger coming in time, and only noticed a 'hero' standing guard when it might have  been too late for me if he hadn't been there. I remember once when I walking in a not so nice area of Ptld with my best friend, CR, and Surf...and I'm chatting with my friend and not paying much attention...and suddenly realize that Surf and CR were walking on either side of us (the two gals in the middle)...and only then did I notice a couple of unsavory looking characters who were giving us the once over. Ugh. I was really thankful for 'my' guys!  :)

:beret:

I was out with a guy once and he suddenly moved to the other side of me while we were walking on the sidewalk.  We had been in the middle of a conversation, and it kind of threw me off a bit.  I asked him later what that was all about, and he said that his grandfather had always taught him to walk on the road side of the sidewalk when walking with a lady.  I guess it's to kind of shield her from cars and mud puddles.  I thought it was kind of cool.

I had a similar experience to yours, as well, SippinTea.  A guy and I were hanging out downtown San Francisco and were in a little newsstand type of store.  I was ready to leave, and we were near the door, but he asked me to wait.  He was looking at something near the doorway.  I was a bit impatient, but waited.  I got a little bit upset because the store was making me feel uncomfortable (new age-y feeling), so I kind of vented when we got out on the street after he finally decided it was time to go.  I felt really stupid when he told me about some guys that were on the street that had made him feel distinctly uncomfortable.

There's just something special about a "protector."  If a guy makes me feel safe, secure, treasured and cherished...  :love:  :love2:  I'm his.  Of course, that doesn't always mean that he's *mine.*  lol

How do you find (and keep) one of THAT type of guy??

Sleeping pills, cage, padlock....

Quote from: Chseeads on February 23, 2007, 05:07:08 PM
Sleeping pills, cage, padlock....

:pound:
You have such a high opinion of me, I see.   :sadbounce:

   Well, you Ladies have hit one of my hot buttons..but even some of you have illustrated examples of their still being 'heroes' that do indeed exist.

   I speak now in general, not to you ladies specifically nor how I act towards women, but rather women and men in general...women should scarce be surprised when men no longer act like men used to..when so many women no longer want, and indeed some resent, being treated as a lady.

   My best friend of 30 years was in a radio station we DJed at back in thje 80's.. a woman piped up with some question about what had happened to chivalry..he looked at her and stated clearly, and probably coldly "chivalry died in 1972."

   What he was referring to was the Equal Rights Amendment movement.

   While I know chivalry is not dead, in general women should no longer be surprised when men do not act like men of old towards them..when they are always telling men they can do it all themselves.


John

   I'll follow that with this: too many women have wanted too many men to be what is in essence wimps..and now too many men are.


John

Quote from: SippinTea on February 23, 2007, 03:41:14 PMThere are moments when as a women it's like you suddenly realize you can exhale because there's someone you trust nearby. It's a good feeling.

That is so true
Its funny... I wouldn't call myself paranoid or afraid but I don't realize how alert or "on guard" I usually am until I'm with a strong guy and I realize how much more relaxed and comfortable I feel

I totally agree, ST & AB.

And I HATE that chivalry died the year I was born!  What did I do to deserve THAT?!?!?!?!?!?

:cry2:

Of course, I have it on good authority that there are some gentlemen who have resurrected chivalry, so perhaps I'll find a hero someday.

(oh brother, now I have that insane song stuck in my head -  :sing: "Did you ever know that you're my heeeeeeeeee-ro?!"  Grrrrr...)

Quote from: Newsman on February 23, 2007, 08:56:36 PM
While I know chivalry is not dead, in general women should no longer be surprised when men do not act like men of old towards them..when they are always telling men they can do it all themselves.

Sad, isn't it...to live in a world where true gentlemen get glared at (or worse) for opening doors for ladies, and told 'I can handle it' when an offer is made to carry something heavy.

Admit it, ladies. We caused our own problem.  :-(  We told the men for years 'we don't need you', and now we're stuck trying to live up to that. And we all know it won't work.

:beret:

hhhmmm . . i don't know that it's a matter of not letting men take care of us or of even making our own selves so strong . .  i think it's more of . . we see what needs to be done and if there's not a man willing/able to take care of it, we do.  pioneer women were like that, too.  if it had to be done, it got done. 

if a man wants to hold the door for me, i am not afraid to allow him and to thank him. however, if he doesn't hold the door open for me, i'm not going to wait outside until one comes along to open the door. . . . although, i have been known to do that to my sons before.  of course, they would NEVER not hold the door for a lady or carry her bags or treat her like a queen.  just ask my daughter-in-law who didn't even know where the handle of the car door was until she drove the car alone. 

chivalry isn't dead.  it just has a new name - kindness.

:oops: Thanks, y'all - you're too sweet, the whole bunch of ya! ;)

Quote from: newkris on February 24, 2007, 04:02:39 AM
hhhmmm . . i don't know that it's a matter of not letting men take care of us or of even making our own selves so strong . .  i think it's more of . . we see what needs to be done and if there's not a man willing/able to take care of it, we do.  pioneer women were like that, too.  if it had to be done, it got done. 

if a man wants to hold the door for me, i am not afraid to allow him and to thank him. however, if he doesn't hold the door open for me, i'm not going to wait outside until one comes along to open the door. . . . although, i have been known to do that to my sons before.  of course, they would NEVER not hold the door for a lady or carry her bags or treat her like a queen.  just ask my daughter-in-law who didn't even know where the handle of the car door was until she drove the car alone. 

chivalry isn't dead.  it just has a new name - kindness.

Kris, I've been thinking about your post. And you do have a point about not waiting around for some man to show up and help us out. I'll confess I have a rather independent streak, and usually just do things for myself...but I don't like asking for help.

I know for myself, an example would be church potlucks. Obviously, tables have to be set up ahead of time, and generally the men aren't there when it needs to happen...so guess who helps? Yes, they're heavy...yes, I've put my back out lifting them on occasion...but the job needs doing, and the men aren't there.

And perhaps I shouldn't be doing it--but even when the men show up, I still help a lot of the time. I know good and well that some of our men have heart problems, and back problems, and other issues, and I'm young and can do it.

However, when my young fellows from Sunday School show up (ages 4-13), I'm really great at giving the job to them.  ;)

:beret:

Quote from: newkris on February 23, 2007, 04:41:48 AM
most of us girls could talk an enemy to death, too . .  .that's not the point . . . we want a HERO to scare the enemy away! 

oh . . where's a hero when you need one? 

(http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/yhst-54787164184156_1933_215848)

"I am THAT hero!"

aww . . thanks CR!! you rock . . . yer such a  . . a . . hero!!

Quote from: SippinTea on February 25, 2007, 12:11:19 AM
Kris, I've been thinking about your post. And you do have a point about not waiting around for some man to show up and help us out. I'll confess I have a rather independent streak, and usually just do things for myself...but I don't like asking for help.

I know for myself, an example would be church potlucks. Obviously, tables have to be set up ahead of time, and generally the men aren't there when it needs to happen...so guess who helps? Yes, they're heavy...yes, I've put my back out lifting them on occasion...but the job needs doing, and the men aren't there.

And perhaps I shouldn't be doing it--but even when the men show up, I still help a lot of the time. I know good and well that some of our men have heart problems, and back problems, and other issues, and I'm young and can do it.

However, when my young fellows from Sunday School show up (ages 4-13), I'm really great at giving the job to them.  ;)

:beret:

that's exactly what i was talking about.  and sometimes i find myself doing stuff that i'd much rather not (like car stuff), but . .  . if i don't do it, no one will and then .  .what?  i end up with a much bigger problem on my hands.  and so . . i have learned that i can . . paint walls, use Kilz and spackle and paint some more, i can fix stuff and re-do stuff and . .  . move stuff and arrange stuff.

it's not that i want to, but it has to be done.

sometimes i have also found that when i'm in the middle of doing what must be done, i'm giving the impression that i'm pushy or bossy or aggressive.  i would hope that's not really true - although i know i have a strong personality.  it's just that . . . if it needs to be done and i'm capable, why wait?  what if no one comes along to do it better? 

one more ramble . . . it would be nice to have men who are my peers that i am comfortable enough with to ask for help without someone thinking things they ought not.  i would rather jumble along then have someone's wife angry with me or have someone thinking i'm being "forward".  it's always nice to have young guys around my son's ages because then . .. there's no misconceptions. 

so, men, you might want to work on being approachable, or offering to help.

Quote from: newkris on February 25, 2007, 05:06:51 AM
i can fix stuff and re-do stuff and . .  . move stuff and arrange stuff.

*sigh* They're never happy.

"Could you move it over there? Well, let's try it in this corner here...no, it's not right, just put the furnature back like it was to begin with...hmmm, I think I like it that way after all!"


   :roll:  Oh well, keeps me busy, and I'm getting lots of 'practice.'  *humph*

 :roll: Whatever. You've got it so rough, poor fellow. *pat on the head*

:beret:

Quote from: Classicrambler on February 25, 2007, 03:37:12 AM


(http://us.st11.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/yhst-54787164184156_1933_215848)

"I am THAT hero!"

OMG!! I looove that! I love Larryboy :thumbsup2:

Quote from: newkris on February 25, 2007, 05:06:51 AM
...so, men, you might want to work on being approachable, or offering to help.

in light of recent conversations, should I take that to mean I need a full beard instead of just a soul patch?

  :hip:

funny, real funny.

how about a nice smile and an offer to help . . . 

although, a soul patch is quite acceptable in my opinion on the right face.   ;)

CR: Need chooooooooooooo-colate??!??!??!??!??

I just read the title of this again and thought it was rather hilarious...once again.

Single women aren't safe....there's no getting around that. Because most of them don't want to stay single. *grin*

:beret:

OK, time to break out the yellow-and-black-striped "trip hazard" tape.   

You single chicks each get a couple of good long stripes apiece to affix to the sides of your sleeves and down the sides of your skirts.

Then all the guys who look at y'all instead of watching where they're going will have no excuse for running into things...

 :biglaugh: That thought has some hilarious potential for a skit at a youth camp or singles' group!

:beret:

About the whole "getting glared at for opening the door" thing...   :roll:

Open mini-rant <When I started to college I observed this phenomenon, along with several others that stuck with me. Probably half of the young ladies I would open the door for would give me a distinctly negative reaction. Either they would give me a dirty look, or maybe just a tight-lippedly ignore me. Probably half of those who weren't openly rude about it would smile and say "Thank you". Someone less stalwart than myself might have ditched the practice entirely.  ;)

At first, it kinda set me back on my heels that that bothered them, since that was the way I was used to, but eventually, it became sort of entertaining to try to pick which ones would be rude.  :-?

Then there was the decidedly mannish middle-aged woman who took a sort of good-natured offense to me calling her 'ma'am', instead of "Ms."
She was good-natured about it because she could see that "I didn't know any better". Of course, after that, I was determined to never "know any better".

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Whoso would be a man, must be a non-conformist". The 'rules' governing society seem to have been deliberately flip-flopped. I agree with ST. It sure is sad that what used to be common courtesy is viewed as abnormal, or unfitting behavior. Seems to me that what Emerson said is especially relevant now. As long as I continue to 'be a man', no one can apply a generational stereotype to me as an individual. >Close mini-rant.

Woohoo!  :clap: :clap: :clap: Three cheers for gentlemen who stay gentlemen even when the ladies aren't ladies. *smile*

Quote from: coolguy on June 28, 2007, 07:12:49 PM
....it became sort of entertaining to try to pick which ones would be rude.  :-?

after that, I was determined to never "know any better".

:biglaugh: I love those two lines. They remind me so much of things Surf would do/say. *grin*

:beret:

I agree. I was thinking when he said that the rude ones set him back on his heels, I hope he didn't drop the door if he fell.  :grin:

QuoteI love those two lines. They remind me so much of things Surf would do/say.

Thanks! Surf's gotta be especially cool, then. ;)

QuoteI hope he didn't drop the door if he fell.

:biglaugh:

If they got to me that bad, they'd have to take their chances...

 :laughhard:

Can't blame you.  :smirk2:

Just because I do make a wisecrack now and then doesn't mean though I actually believe it. 

Sometimes playing the fool or the idiot is fun just to see what the reaction truely would be.  It allows me to see a part of people that normally they hide...a part to see if it is worth making them a friend or not...

But for the few who do truely know me, will know I will do my best to not hurt or offend a lady... But I also won't tiptoe around anymore either....

on a serious note,
Just in re-reading the thread....It is amazing how many turns the thread has taken, but yet how it flows together....a bunch of streams of thoughts to form one river of serious information and laughter intertwined.   

But when with a lady, I have always felt to fit the role (almost typed troll...lol!) of being a protector, it hurts me to see a lady or (woman who isn't acting like a lady) hurt...

so many times my boss has told me not to intervene in disputes that spring up from time to time in the motel or parking lot.   While I may not interfer on a normal basis anymore, I will still observe and step in if I even think the woman is in any danger to herself or the rare instance of causing harm to someone else. (redneck women are something else to deal with, especially when they come from the bar.)

While I hate to be wounded inside my spirit, I rather be the person wounded then any lady I am dealing with....It hurts more inside of me when I have to not show mercy at times (because of my job...)

What I hate the most is seeing that because of the job and the things I deal with at times (coming from the bar at the motel I work with..) is that not showing any mercy at times is getting so easy... It scares me.   I do not want to get so hard hearted that if I see someone hurting that I can not reach out to help, that I would only look away and keep going.

And to me the woman who is single or elderly, are the ones I usually most want to protect at all costs.

nwlife, you have a good heart, man. Sincerely.

(a serious TRAV moment)

Quote from: TRAV on June 30, 2007, 02:25:48 PM
nwlife, you have a good heart, man. Sincerely.

(a serious TRAV moment)

Okay, now how many porkchops do I owe you?   :biglaugh:

I've deleted some posts..let's play nicely.


John

actually what rambler had posted I thought was funny.....I always had the habit of "misquoting" posts at times...it was only a payback!   :laughhard:

   Just trying to make sure everything stays as pleasant as possible..if I err, let it be on the side of promoting harmony.


John  :waving:

Don't worry "Olde Man"...LOL!....We rather you err sometimes....besides others might have taken offense at something, and who knows what storm may have been headed off by deleting the posts...


Hmmm...now what trouble can I find myself in next?

Quote from: nwlife on July 01, 2007, 10:03:14 AM
Hmmm...now what trouble can I find myself in next?

Well, your signature picture is blinding me...how's that for trouble?  :freaky2:

Quote from: Newsman on July 01, 2007, 09:54:00 AM
 ..if I err, let it be on the side of promoting harmony.

I for one, shall  join you:

(http://download.eharmony.com/images/singles/eh-home/eharmony-logo.gif)

Just a click away!

*Plays twilight zone music* Of all people my MOM was just talking about eharmony the other day. :frustrated:

Hmmm....which is worse? Mom or Grandma?  :smirk2:

:beret:

 :laughhard: :laughhard: My pseudo-gradma seem to have plans for me too :o

Wellll,,,

   Ah rekkun if'n youu Ladeez would allow et, we could fix you'uns up wit someone!


John  :waving:

Do they look like this? :nerd:

 :highfive: Nice one, ICG! *laugh*

:beret:

Someone's already sent you the pics?

Rats!!!


John  :waving:

Quote from: InChristGirl on July 03, 2007, 03:37:07 AM
Do they look like this? :nerd:

I wish :hypocrite:

(http://www.fotosearch.com/comp/FSP/FSP134/034008.jpg)

Happy to oblige. ;)

(He forgot his glasses at the park.)

:beret:

Wait I take it back!!!!!!! :tantrum:

Too late! They'll be by for you tomorrow evening at 8!  :cool:


John  :waving:

I can close my eyes.

Whats his number?

no, I'm not desperate... I just feel and act like it.... purely for uh entertainment sake... yeah thats it... *sigh*

Ohhhhhh.....I was waiting for the glasses ;)

Here, Mary

(http://www.fotosearch.com/thumb/BDX/BDX311/bxp56079.jpg)

Toothless AND scruffy....just for you. *grin*

:beret:

Lady ICG,

   My response to you bruscetta question is in my Ask a Grump thread!  :thumbsup2:


John  :waving:

Quote from: InChristGirl on July 03, 2007, 03:50:16 AM

Ohhhhhh.....I was waiting for the glasses ;)

Alas! I cannot find a suitable picture for you.  :sadbounce:

*grin*

:beret:

That's ok. :headrub:

Quote from: InChristGirl on July 03, 2007, 01:44:42 AM
*Plays twilight zone music* Of all people my MOM was just talking about eharmony the other day. :frustrated:

But isn't your mom married already?

I overheard a guy (well beyond his 30's) who has recently signed up for a membership on an apostolic singles website tell someone that he's getting flack from some of his elders for "trying to find a wife on the Internet."

Quote from: InChristGirl on July 03, 2007, 03:50:16 AM

Ohhhhhh.....I was waiting for the glasses ;)

Here:

(http://www.newsboys.com/photos/061207/0612_22.jpg)

Quote from: Classicrambler on July 06, 2007, 12:17:02 AM

Quote from: InChristGirl on July 03, 2007, 03:50:16 AM

Ohhhhhh.....I was waiting for the glasses ;)

Here:

(http://www.newsboys.com/photos/061207/0612_22.jpg)

So rambler finally posted one of his high school pics?   :laughhard:

Quote from: Classicrambler on July 06, 2007, 12:17:02 AM

Quote from: InChristGirl on July 03, 2007, 03:50:16 AM

Ohhhhhh.....I was waiting for the glasses ;)

Here:

(http://www.newsboys.com/photos/061207/0612_22.jpg)

Did I ever tell you you were my best friend? :great:
That is a great pic of Jeff ......And Brandon, he only wishes those were his high school pics. :laughhard:

It wasn't me! It wasn't! I'm tellin' ya, it was that other guy! I..wha? oh, umm, never mind  :oops:


John  :waving:

Quote from: RainbowJingles on July 05, 2007, 10:13:57 PM
I overheard a guy (well beyond his 30's) who has recently signed up for a membership on an apostolic singles website tell someone that he's getting flack from some of his elders for "trying to find a wife on the Internet."

Quote from: Newsman on July 06, 2007, 03:41:57 AM
It wasn't me! It wasn't! I'm tellin' ya, it was that other guy! I..wha? oh, umm, never mind  :oops:


John  :waving:

Quote from: RainbowJingles on July 05, 2007, 10:13:57 PM
I overheard a guy (well beyond his 30's) who has recently signed up for a membership on an apostolic singles website tell someone that he's getting flack from some of his elders for "trying to find a wife on the Internet."

We know you too well :laughhard: :laughhard: :laughhard:

Quote from: Newsman on July 06, 2007, 03:41:57 AM
It wasn't me! It wasn't! I'm tellin' ya, it was that other guy! I..wha? oh, umm, never mind  :oops:

BOL!!!

Methinks the gentleman doth protest too much!

:beret:

What's that phrase we see so often around here? My memory just isn't working right now. Something about "Denial is....... ". Does anyone know how that ends?  :hypocrite:

Why, yes..denial is the first stage to acceptance, unless it involves trhe media!


John  :hypocrite: err,  :waving:

Quote from: Sister_Mom on July 06, 2007, 04:07:19 AM
What's that phrase we see so often around here? My memory just isn't working right now. Something about "Denial is....... ". Does anyone know how that ends?  :hypocrite:

Quote from: Newsman on July 06, 2007, 04:39:38 AM
Why, yes..denial is the first stage to acceptance, unless it involves trhe media!


John  :hypocrite: err,  :waving:

Quote from: Sister_Mom on July 06, 2007, 04:07:19 AM
What's that phrase we see so often around here? My memory just isn't working right now. Something about "Denial is....... ". Does anyone know how that ends?  :hypocrite:

I don't recall that last part being there before.  ???

*makes note to look up FCC rules  and regs on radio reporters telling the truth. . . . .  later, when my brain wakes up*

Sadly, there aren't all that many men in the local UPC I'm part of older than my 42 years..and they would all be like "Yeah! Get a wife!"

You folks would roar with laughter if you could hear some of the times pastor will turn during a message, look at me, and say "Get a wife!," or somesuch! The saints get a pretty decent laugh about it.

Howeverz..I can dish it out as well as take it! I remember my pastor (who was wearing a dark red dress shirt,) before a service telling me "say anything you like. Just remember: I get the last word!" :)


John  :waving:


John  :waving:

 :biglaugh:

:beret:

 :o It must be getting late. I'm seeing double Johns!! *rubs eyes and blinks* They're still there! :yikes:

I really need to go to bed.  :hi:

What do you mean, Sister Mom???

What do you mean, Sister Mom???


John  :waving:

John  :waving:

 :nono: Stop that, Sir John....you'll confuse the poor lady!

LOL

:beret:

she's already offline
she's already offline

she won't see it for a while
she won't see it for a while


John  :waving:
John  :waving:

Okay then....quit 'cause you'll confuse ME! And goodness knows I'm confused enough already. *grin*

:beret:

It's a good thing I didn't see those before I went to bed last night! I would have surely known I was losing it.  :laughhard:

Ya already done lost it, Babe.

(Did that sound adequately Seth-like? *grin*)

:beret:

Exept for the "babe" part!  :o

*looks dubious*

I don't know.... He's been throwing around a lot of endearments lately. *grin*

:beret:

 :popcorn:

Ummm...  I was trying to be nice and not make direct referrals there, Sir Newsman, but if you'd like to blow your own cover, I'm not gonna stop ya!  lol

Quote from: Newsman on July 06, 2007, 03:41:57 AM
It wasn't me! It wasn't! I'm tellin' ya, it was that other guy! I..wha? oh, umm, never mind  :oops:


John  :waving:

Quote from: RainbowJingles on July 05, 2007, 10:13:57 PM
I overheard a guy (well beyond his 30's) who has recently signed up for a membership on an apostolic singles website tell someone that he's getting flack from some of his elders for "trying to find a wife on the Internet."

The Nun sits back with the  :popcorn: and watches the single gals of GP flock to said website.

*grin*

:beret:

Quote from: nwlife on July 06, 2007, 01:29:57 AM
So rambler finally posted one of his high school pics?   :laughhard:

Where? Where? I wanna see!

Quote from: Classicrambler on July 06, 2007, 11:42:12 PM

Quote from: nwlife on July 06, 2007, 01:29:57 AM
So rambler finally posted one of his high school pics?   :laughhard:

Where? Where? I wanna see!

Look! Prom pictures. :laughhard:

(http://newsboys.com/photos/071007/0710_1.jpg)

:blush:

I'll be in my dressing room if anyone wants me.

Is it just me, or does that guy look like Austin Powers?  :o

(http://i59.photobucket.com/albums/g282/pyrrhos/DrEvil_orig.jpg)

Quote from: Tsalagi on July 18, 2007, 09:12:03 PM
Is it just me, or does that guy look like Austin Powers?  :o

Dude!!! No way! :tantrum: :tantrum:

I can't see the other picture.. Just the Austin Powers dude :sadbounce:

If i was a bad guy, MOST women wouldn't stand a chance...I'm just being honest.  BUT!!!  if i had to give advice to a single woman who would like to deter being harmed it would be this.  Try to stay in highly visible places where there are lots of people and lots of lights.  No walking down dimly lit streets/alleys.  Be aware of your surroundings at all time.  Keep looking 360 degrees, a bad guy might think twice if the woman seems to be aware.   Buy a can of oc pepper spray, make sure it's not the misting spray type but the stream.  Yes it will take you purposely aiming at the perp, but you won't have the wind blowing it back in your face. Also if you do wind up having to spray someone, of course hit him in the face and the immediately move back and then to the left or right.  That way he only remembers your last position and will likely not know where you went.  spray up and down from his face to his chest.  the spray will soak his clothes and the fumes will keep irritating him.  Here is a very important thing imo. have the actual can in your hand when you are walking down the street to your car and take the safety off.  Either he will notice you have something and will move on or if he does decide to come over to you, there will be no fiddling in your purse trying to find it and then unlocking the safety button...you don't have time to be fiddling with the safety.  Before he reaches you, don't be timid. look him straight in the eyes and move out of the way to let him go by.  if he moves with you, before he gets within 10-15 feet, raise the pepper spray and aim it at him and in a very loud voice tell him to stop right there and to get away.  If he proceeds to start to talk to you, back away and repeat yourself.  If he persists in coming towards you, follow the above and spray him and move out of the way.  Don't get up close to him to spray him, you can't risk him grabbing you and chocking you or stabbing you.  Just run and scream "Fire, call 911"  look back often to make sure he isn't behind you.  look for lights that are on in a house and bang on the door, he doesn't want neighbors coming out to see what's going on. 


I think it's a tendency for women at night to be timid, they don't make a lot of eye contact, they look at the ground when they walk and react too late when the perps moves in.  At night time, don't fall for the trick where he's asking for directions.  It's very unlikely that he doesn't know where he's at if it's night and he is walking.  Tell him your sorry but you can't help him.  If he breaks any of the rules above, spray him.  If for some reason a man suprises you out of nowhere and pops out right in front of you, 1 thing for sure that will get his attention...do your best to ram your fingers into one of his eye sockets.  as you strike his eyes, his hands will try to stop it, but with your other hand proceed to spray him in the face. If you succeed getting one of your fingers in his eye, he will immediately tear up and hopefully you damaged him badly with your nails.  Again, back away and move to the left or right while spraying and then run.  If he sneaks up from behind you and grabs you in a bear hug, scream as loud as you can, kick as hard as you can, and try to bash his face with the back of your head. If he lets go, immediately spray him and run.  Remember to keep a good hold of your pepper spray after he grabs you, you will get a chance to use it even if he staves off your defensive moves.  Depending on your comfort level with the spray, you can aim it behind your head and spray back and forth.  once he realizes that it is pepperspray, he'll most likely let go real quick so as to not get hit with it.  but most likely you'll hit him somewhere in the face.  If you're not able to or feel comfortable with it, wait until he turns you around to face him, he is going to be way way way stronger than you, but once you get the chance to spray him, do so.  But don't make it obvious that you have soemthing in your hand, you don't want him trying to take it away from you.  If i was a bad guy, i would either try to surprise my victim or try to play the 'nice stranger', get close, and then attack.  When i say attack, i would sock her in the head as hard i could so as to knock her out.  There wouldn't be any screaming woman drawing attention to what i'm doing.  So ladies, please please please keep any and all strangers at night time physically away from you.  100% of all women who have been raped were too close to the perpetrator to begin with. Your 'bubble' at night time should be dramatically increased in size.  Your safety isn't negotiable.

Another idea is to take a womens self defense class that addresses some of these scenarios.  There's a school for self defense in my city where they teach men and women how to protect themselves on the streets.  This class is no joke.  They will forcefully grab you, throw you on the ground, sit on you, and slap you (mimicking punches).  They will throw you up against a wall and chock you. (i've seen holes in the drywall where people have been thrown into).  This is almost as close as it gets to experiencing a real attack.  They teach and encourage eye gouging, groin strikes, and biting.  Anything goes when it comes to protecting yourself.  It's a great school and i wish there were at least one in every city for women to attend.  In my opinion, training of some sort is essential.  For example, do you think that the guys who sit on the sideline on a basketball or football team not know how to play?  Of course they do!!  They practice just about everyday with the starters just in case they are needed.  Now what good would the guys on the sideline be if they had never caught a football or dribbled a basketball?  They would get destroyed on the field/court.  Being able to defend yourself on the street is no different.  What are the chances a 120lb woman with no training that could handle a situation where a 210lb man was quickly approaching her saying that he wants her?  Realistically??  She would be raped.  But what if she had some hands on training where she repeatedly had to stave off attacks from men that size and bigger?  and she knew how to keep them out of her bubble but if necessary she could pepper spray them?  Realistically, she'd have a 90% + chance of getting away unhurt.  So my question to the ladies on this board is this.  How important is your personal safety to you?  You say that it is really important, but have you done much to educate yourself in this area? And if the answer is no, what are you waiting for?  Too late is always happens too soon.   Sorry for the long post, but this is just some food for thought!

Whoa. *blinks*

Lojack, that was the best post I've seen you make. Thanks.  :great:

The situation I initially started this thread over has gone away, but those circumstances left me a lot more aware of safety. I'm taking mental notes from your post.

:beret:

Didn't read it. Solid blocks of print with no breaks makes my eyes water. I never read them when they look like that.

i made one extra break just for joooo  :P

Thanx, but still kinda dense. There are about three or four of us with vision problems that have trouble like that. I'm the only one with a big mouth, though.

Quote from: Sis on February 10, 2008, 07:18:37 AM
Thanx, but still kinda dense. There are about three or four of us with vision problems that have trouble like that. I'm the only one with a big mouth, though.

LOL

i am one of them lol

It's really awesome though Sis, you should go back and try.  It's a good lesson we all need to learn.

Quote from: teacheroftheLord on February 10, 2008, 07:40:31 AM
It's really awesome though Sis, you should go back and try.  It's a good lesson we all need to learn.

I would have to print it larger, and I'm too tired. I'm sure it's the same safety stuff I've posted in the past.

Yeah, but on this one, he told us what he would do to us if he was the bad guy..... :freaky2:

i wasnt able to read it either. sigh. oh well.............

Quote from: teacheroftheLord on February 10, 2008, 10:18:41 AM
Yeah, but on this one, he told us what he would do to us if he was the bad guy..... :freaky2:

I learned something about lions. They roar to scare other animals/people. They don't always do much when they're roaring. It's when they're quiet that you have to watch out because they might pounce. The loudest ones in the jungle are the older ones with falst teeth.

So while he's up there ^ roaring, I ain't a-skert!

Good point about fingers in the eyes, lojack.  I always tell them to scream, "Police Brutality!"

Every person within three blocks will come running to see how bad the cops are beating someone, but yell 'help' and see what ya get... :-?

Also, those tiny little serrated seat belt knives with the inward-curving blades are great for disemboweling someone or just discouraging grappling, don't take much pressure or work either.

i like the police brutality lol.  as for the seat belt knife? i would take that knife from her and use it on her.  i discourage most women carrying guns or knives unless they get some comprehensive training. as for being disemboweled, that is a great tactic so as to run away!

We're talking the tiny ones that go around the finger thus are easily hid until it's too late.  Almost as sharp as a scalpel.  Beware the ninja.  :cool:

Besides, once his guts are in the street, no need to run away.  He'll be dead within fifteen cause there's nothing up inside to support his diaphragm, thus he can't breathe. 

Mmmm.  As far as knives and guns go, I say get training and carry them.   I guess the reason most people tell women not to carry those things is that most women are not willing to use deadly force.

If you have a gun and it comes out, the rule is: kill them.  If the gun has to come out, it will be fired.  That has to be an iron-clad rule for anyone who wears a weapon.

Quote from: Tsalagi on February 10, 2008, 07:22:38 PM
Mmmm.  As far as knives and guns go, I say get training and carry them.   I guess the reason most people tell women not to carry those things is that most women are not willing to use deadly force.

If you have a gun and it comes out, the rule is: kill them.  If the gun has to come out, it will be fired.  That has to be an iron-clad rule for anyone who wears a weapon.

I guess that's my problem.  I don't think that I could actually KILL someone.  I just couldn't take someone elses life into my hands like that.  I think I'd rather someone seriously injure or kill  me than me kill them.  At the same time, I want to take self defence classes so that I could defend myself in such an emergency.  I kinda envy the women who can flip a guy over her shoulder and stuff.  *shrug*  There just isn't anything around here like that, so If I am to get some type of training, it will have to be done elsewhere.  I guess this is why I've always wanted a big brother.  Or an understanding husband who is trained in self defence.  I just don't see beating my husband up though.  Even if it is for my betterment.  lol

Quote from: Sis on February 10, 2008, 10:23:02 AM

Quote from: teacheroftheLord on February 10, 2008, 10:18:41 AM
Yeah, but on this one, he told us what he would do to us if he was the bad guy..... :freaky2:

I learned something about lions. They roar to scare other animals/people. They don't always do much when they're roaring. It's when they're quiet that you have to watch out because they might pounce. The loudest ones in the jungle are the older ones with falst teeth.

So while he's up there ^ roaring, I ain't a-skert!

lol, if you read my post, you'll see there is no roaring.  I'm making someones face look like mush.  Sad thing is that 99% of most women wouldn't be able to stop me from doing so.  

Quotemost women are not willing to use deadly force.

edit: make that initially willing.  I know plenty of them who can and will.  Sad thing when a society has fallen so low as to make this sorta thing necessary.

lojack just illustrated a very good point.  Most men are physically stronger than most women.  Many common martial arts schools teach a fighting philosophy or style that takes a long time to become effective for the novice, and a lot of them are too stylized because of the tourney system.  For this sort of thing, you want a contemporary combat system - because the ring is a heap different from the street.

The guys not [usually lol] actually trying to kill you in the ring, it's a fight with rules.  I've sparred with some chicks who were wicked bad, but they were veteran fighters.  Not the same. 

Plus, apostolic gals wear skirts and dresses.  Although I've never tried it, I betcha fighting in a skirt would be a pain.

From a life and death standpoint, the predator's best option is usually to spring from ambush and overpower, the "prey's" best option is to not be prey.  Best option is don't go where the wild things are.  Use buddies whenever possible.  Stay alert, keep moving and looking and paying attention to your surroundings as possible ambush sites.

Did you see that thing on msnbc about the "Tazer parties"?   Maybe I'll invent some sort of a passive taser, that would be cool.  They don't get zapped until they make contact with the person wearing the device, contact is the medium of exchange, and the wearer would have to be wearing...rubber boots!

That's it!  Taser Boots! ...naaaah.

Quote from: Tsalagi on February 10, 2008, 07:22:38 PM
Every person within three blocks will come running to see how bad the cops are beating someone, but yell 'help' and see what ya get...

I was taught to yell "FIRE!" People wanna see whose house is burning down (Or is it up?)

Quote from: Tsalagi on February 10, 2008, 07:22:38 PM
We're talking the tiny ones that go around the finger thus are easily hid until it's too late.  Almost as sharp as a scalpel.  Beware the ninja.  :cool:

Besides, once his guts are in the street, no need to run away.  He'll be dead within fifteen cause there's nothing up inside to support his diaphragm, thus he can't breathe. 

Mmmm.  As far as knives and guns go, I say get training and carry them.   I guess the reason most people tell women not to carry those things is that most women are not willing to use deadly force.

If you have a gun and it comes out, the rule is: kill them.  If the gun has to come out, it will be fired.  That has to be an iron-clad rule for anyone who wears a weapon.

I would use them in a second without thinking. I was raised with three brothers and a male cousin who was like a brother. After living with so many guys, I know you aim to KILL  *Shows teeth* Grrrrrrr

Quote from: Tsalagi on February 10, 2008, 07:22:38 PM
From a life and death standpoint, the predator's best option is usually to spring from ambush and overpower, the "prey's" best option is to not be prey.  Best option is don't go where the wild things are.  Use buddies whenever possible.  Stay alert, keep moving and looking and paying attention to your surroundings as possible ambush sites.

That's not always effective, either. There are women who have been trained in street self defense as well as other martial arts who have been overpowered before they could react. In one case, a gal with a black belt was hit in the head and passed out before she could do anything.

I guess the martial arts CAN give a false security of sorts because it was a total shock that she had all that training and was still overpowered and raped. She knew to keep check of her surrounding, but the guy was so quiet, she never knew what hit her.

I have also heard of two women together getting overpowered by two or three guys, so even if you have some training, you still can get into trouble.

do you teach safety classes?

Quote from: Tsalagi on February 10, 2008, 08:35:56 PM
Plus, apostolic gals wear skirts and dresses.  Although I've never tried it, I betcha fighting in a skirt would be a pain.

True, it's not fun. But you might be surprised what we can still manage to do in a skirt or dress when we're desperate enough.

Tsoggi, me has an idea.... You and Sir John can plan a safety course specifically for apostolic women (ya know, thinking along the lines of tactics for skirt-wearers to use), name the date and time and tuition cost, and all us gals can fly in to TX or OK for a crash course on fighting. *grin* You two have the training, and if I remember right, you both are quite used to teaching as well.

Whatcha think? :P

Quote from: Sis on February 10, 2008, 08:36:18 PM
even if you have some training, you still can get into trouble.

True. It ultimately comes down to trusting God anyway. But I don't think He expects us to be sitting ducks either.

:beret:

Yes! you gals can room with me! there is room! lol!

Quote from: SippinTea on February 10, 2008, 09:33:02 PM

Quote from: Tsalagi on February 10, 2008, 08:35:56 PM
Plus, apostolic gals wear skirts and dresses.  Although I've never tried it, I betcha fighting in a skirt would be a pain.

True, it's not fun. But you might be surprised what we can still manage to do in a skirt or dress when we're desperate enough.

Tsoggi, me has an idea.... You and Sir John can plan a safety course specifically for apostolic women (ya know, thinking along the lines of tactics for skirt-wearers to use), name the date and time and tuition cost, and all us gals can fly in to TX or OK for a crash course on fighting. *grin* You two have the training, and if I remember right, you both are quite used to teaching as well.

Whatcha think? :P

Quote from: Sis on February 10, 2008, 08:36:18 PM
even if you have some training, you still can get into trouble.

True. It ultimately comes down to trusting God anyway. But I don't think He expects us to be sitting ducks either.

:beret:

Sis, that's why I said stay away from places that would allow someone to simply spring out and klonk you. 

Also, what's commonly known as "the martial arts" isn't where I would look for training.  When I say combat system, I mean find yourself some ex-military types and learn some dirty moves from them. 

Only learn a few, and very nasty ones.

Regardless of what you choose to study for self-defense, what really matters is the dedication of the student.  A person can't expect to go to a seminar and be ready for a street assault.

Truth is, nothing will prepare you for that. 

So my advice as far as self-defense for women goes:  You usually can't beat up a guy, so he's stronger.  Or outrun him, so he's faster.  If he leaps on you out of hiding, nine times out of ten your goose is cooked.

You might have one chance to duck, or none.  Which is why I say women should learn to use pistols, it's not like it's something their dainty little minds can't process :D

Besides, "gun-fu" only has one move:

point finger!  bang, bang!

Well, this girl felt so guilty because she knew how to street fight, she knew martial arts, thought she was invincible and was shocked that she still got way-laid.  She kept saying it over and over, I thought I had it covered. Just reminding people, not just women because muggers don't care who you are, that even knowing that stuff, you can get into trouble.

It just kind of freaked me out. It was an eye-opener for sure.

QuoteBesides, "gun-fu" only has one move:

point finger!  bang, bang!

I think that was the guy who tried to rob Ethyl, well, actually, he didn't even point his finger. LOL

Quote from: Sis on February 11, 2008, 01:30:53 AM

QuoteBesides, "gun-fu" only has one move:

point finger!  bang, bang!

I think that was the guy who tried to rob Ethyl, well, actually, he didn't even point his finger. LOL

LOL Right!

QuoteAlthough I've never tried it, I betcha fighting in a skirt would be a pain.

It can be done. Ask 'Braveheart'.

A couple of my button up the front jean skirts give me enough room to kick my foot up over my head. For the wise guys: Yes, the foot is still attached to my leg...   :laughhard:

Wonder why we never even thought of this at the OK GP meetup... :rofl:

Quote from: SippinTea on February 10, 2008, 09:33:02 PM

Quote from: Tsalagi on February 10, 2008, 08:35:56 PM
Plus, apostolic gals wear skirts and dresses.  Although I've never tried it, I betcha fighting in a skirt would be a pain.

True, it's not fun. But you might be surprised what we can still manage to do in a skirt or dress when we're desperate enough.

Tsoggi, me has an idea.... You and Sir John can plan a safety course specifically for apostolic women (ya know, thinking along the lines of tactics for skirt-wearers to use), name the date and time and tuition cost, and all us gals can fly in to TX or OK for a crash course on fighting. *grin* You two have the training, and if I remember right, you both are quite used to teaching as well.

Whatcha think? :P

Quote from: Sis on February 10, 2008, 08:36:18 PM
even if you have some training, you still can get into trouble.

True. It ultimately comes down to trusting God anyway. But I don't think He expects us to be sitting ducks either.

:beret:

Lady Sandra,

   I'll bet there might be one or two (or more) folks who wouldn't mind a repeat 'engagement'  :laughhard:

Back to the seriousness of the subject,

   I may have addressed this way back in the thread, but many many years ago, I read of an encounter between a woman whoi had a brown belt and a man who attacked her. She stayed and fought him. It turned out he had gotten his black belt in Korea, and took from her what he wanted.

   From the book Starship Troopers, the drill sergeant Zim says something to the effect that there is no such thing as dangeorus weapons, but dangerous people..there is some truth to that.

   Awareness of the situation you are in, the possible avenues for fight/flight are important..getting out of the situation needs to be paramount.. and I would agree with Chris...if you pull a gun on a man, shoot him DEAD.


John