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Strange, Ironic, Funny, or just plain Weird things that you have heard at work:

Started by Assuredbyfaith, January 01, 2015, 03:15:00 PM

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Assuredbyfaith

So here are some of my favorite things that I've heard; and/or have been said to me.

"Think of me as God"...this was said seriously. Needless to say I moved on to other things; two weeks later...after lasting there for two and half years.

"We are getting it done; by not getting the job done"...this was also said seriously!

"I don't have to know how to do something; I just need to know who can do it"...also, serious!

"I'm the best worker here"...again with the serious part! :/

"You need to make sure the people who are here before you; do their job"...If they are there before me; this suggests a time in which I am not there! Please, show me how this is done!

"They don't do their job...but we need all the help we can get"... If others have to do the job anyway; how does this help?
Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Q-tip

Not necessarily related TO work but heard AT work.  Mostly from one person in particular.

"I talk with the astronauts on my ham radio"

"Was going to fight Chuck Norris but he backed out because I would'nt sign a waiver"

"My dad is the dreamer and I'm the interpretor"

Same guy randomly walks up behind other guys at work and just starts singing to them.  Awkward!





Lady calls off for work:

Her-  " I can't make it in tonight, I had a mudslide"

Me- huh?

Her-  "You know....my bowels are like water"

:-/




///////////////\"Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.\"///////////////

Lynx

It's safe to say you really really really... really really... REALLY don't want to know the weirdest stuff I've heard at work.  All I'll say about it is, it's stuff no christian should ever have to stand at his work station and listen to.
"Do you sing at church?"
"Yes I sing at church, I sing at home, at work, in the car, at the supermarket, at Wal-Mart..."
:sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing:

Assuredbyfaith

Quote from: Lynx on February 16, 2015, 04:28:48 AM
It's safe to say you really really really... really really... REALLY don't want to know the weirdest stuff I've heard at work.  All I'll say about it is, it's stuff no christian should ever have to stand at his work station and listen to.

Yes, I would be too embarrassed to mention most of the things I've heard!!! I'm still trying to forget them!! People are amazing...not in a good way!!!  :o  :smirk2:
Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

SippinTea

"Do you mammogram Bibles?"

"Do you have the Prayer of Jezebel book?"

"I want the Bible that has all the important parts in red."

"I want the King Arthur Bible."

"I need a copy of the book that has all the important things the Bible left out."

:beret:
"Not everything that is of God is easy." -Elona

"When you're wildly in love with someone, it changes everything." -F. Chan

"A real live hug anytime you want it is priceless." -Rachel

The Purple Fuzzy


Lynx

The prayer of Jezebel?  I wonder what she would have prayed about...
"Do you sing at church?"
"Yes I sing at church, I sing at home, at work, in the car, at the supermarket, at Wal-Mart..."
:sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing:

Assuredbyfaith

Quote from: SippinTea on February 21, 2015, 04:30:58 AM
"Do you mammogram Bibles?"

"Do you have the Prayer of Jezebel book?"

"I want the Bible that has all the important parts in red."

"I want the King Arthur Bible."

"I need a copy of the book that has all the important things the Bible left out."

:beret:
ROFL...😂   Do you work at a Christian Book Store?
Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Assuredbyfaith

I've been asked:

"Do you carry plastic baggies...you know the kind that are dime size, and you can seal them"?  :o

"Do you carry syringes"? *Note I don't work at a Medical Supply. :-?


I've also been asked if we carry " a machine that seals little plastic baggies"?
Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Assuredbyfaith

"Do you have those "thingies" you put in your hair"? *It took a few minutes to figure out she was talking about Bobby Pins!  :-\

"Do you have the stuff in the orange bottle that you put on your face"? *Never found this; as the person didn't even know what it did; much less what brand!  :o
Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Lynx

Quote just today from a coworker who has obviously been playing Portal waaaaay too much.
"So I was wondering if you could stick a person halfway in a portal and close it, would it cut them in half?  I think it would be neat to try."

Me: "Remind me to never go to sleep when you're around."
"Do you sing at church?"
"Yes I sing at church, I sing at home, at work, in the car, at the supermarket, at Wal-Mart..."
:sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing:

Assuredbyfaith

Hollywood and Media have not been good to humanity!  The things people spend their time being entertained by; scare me!!  As well, the truly amazing amount of time they actually spend in mindless pursuit of said entertainment!!! 😲
Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Lynx

People don't change.  The only difference is the opportunities. People who once spent all their time gossiping with their neighbors are the kind of people who now have 3,000 "friends" on facebook.  People who in times past would have spent a lot of their free time in a back room playing cards are now the ones who spend all their time in World of Warcraft. People are still the same. Technology just makes it easier to ignore reality than it used to be.
"Do you sing at church?"
"Yes I sing at church, I sing at home, at work, in the car, at the supermarket, at Wal-Mart..."
:sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing:

Assuredbyfaith

That's true! It always makes me laugh when people say the world is worst; as in more evil than it was in the past!  Man has always had the potential for evil/sin. It's only now days that you know more of it! It's brought right to your door step...sometimes the very moment it happens(media is so happy to report, dissect, dramatize, etc!!! The worst of humanity makes a more dramatic story than the best!!

This is why I don't have Cable...I don't want to pay for mindless, misleading, depressing garbage! I really dislike it when people feel the need to post depressing news stories all over social media! If we needed, or wanted we could seek out the opportunity for ourselves! 😩😲
Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Lynx

Speaking of which, did you hear about that guy who got a rifle and...

Oh... um... never mind.  :teeth:
"Do you sing at church?"
"Yes I sing at church, I sing at home, at work, in the car, at the supermarket, at Wal-Mart..."
:sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing:

Assuredbyfaith

Quote from: Lynx on February 24, 2015, 12:34:05 PM
Speaking of which, did you hear about that guy who got a rifle and...

Oh... um... never mind.  :teeth:
*hmmmm mmmhhh* Not listening!!! 🙉
Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Assuredbyfaith

Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Assuredbyfaith

Quote: "Don't lower yourself to higher management's level"!!! From an anonymous member of higher management!!! ROFL
Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Assuredbyfaith

Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Lynx

Hey that's no joke!  Where I work now has some fairly competent managers but some places I've worked...  :roll:
"Do you sing at church?"
"Yes I sing at church, I sing at home, at work, in the car, at the supermarket, at Wal-Mart..."
:sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing: :sing:

Assuredbyfaith

I think that is more, and more becoming the normal every where! Standards for life, work, relationships, knowledge, education have degenerated so much! Plus, we have become a society that makes excuses for people's lack of knowledge, ethics, motivation, education, morality, etc! Not only do they rationalize the lack; they push others to make up for it!!!

Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.